Oscar at the Oscars

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 1

It was the night of the Oscars. Kermit the Frog was reporting on the red carpet at the pre-oscars show.

"Hi ho, Kermit the Frog here", said Kermit, "And tonight we will learn the results of who will win the oscars. We have a lot of big-name celebrities, directors, producers, and more here tonight, including Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, Peter Jackson, Hallie Berry, and Mel Gibson. Let's see who I can talk to".

Just then, a garbage truck arrived at the pre-show.

"What's this...?", thought Kermit, "A garbage truck at the oscars? Instead of a limo? Who could be in there?"

The door opened, and Oscar the Grouch and Grungetta both came out. Oscar was carrying Slimey.

"Park the garbage truck in the 'G' parking lot, Bruno", said Oscar.

"Hey, it's Oscar the Grouch!", said Kermit, "You're movie has been nominated for 'Best picture'". How do you feel?"

"Rotten", said Oscar, "I can't beleive that my film has even been nominated".

"Yeah, oskies very grumpy tonight", said Grungetta.

"But at least we get to hear the cries of the poor losers", said Oscar, "I just hope that the acceptance speeches are not as boring as usual".

"Well, good luck winning.. errrr, losing.. errr, whatever you want your luck to be at getting an oscar, uh, Oscar", said kermit.

"Well, get out of my way!", remarked Oscar, "I'm going to find a torn-up seat.

Oscar, Slimey, and Grungetta found some torn-up seats in the back.

"I'll take this seat", said Oscar, referring to a seat that was in front of a small wall that blocked his view.

"No fair", groaned Grungetta, "I wanted the seat that's behind a wall so I can't see the show".

"I called dibs", said oscar, "so Nyah!"

They took their seats. The announcer soon began to start the show.

"Ladies and gentlemen and gentlemonsters and gentlehonkers and gentleladies", said the announcer, "Welcome to the Oscars! Where filmakers, movie stars, special effects experts,w riters, and many, many more compete to win the oscars! And now, here is the host of the evening, Guy Smiley!"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!", shouted Guy Smiley, "Welcome to The oscars, where the people invovled with movies have just as much luck winning an award as they do of winning on one of my game shows!"

The audience laughed.

"But remember", said Guy Smiley, "it's not whether you win or lose, but either way, I still get paid for hosting".

The audience laughed again.

"What's everybody laughing at?", asked an oblivious Guy Smiley.

"It's really not whether you win or lose", said Grungetta to Oscar in a tone that was loud enough for the people in the back to hear, "Either way the show is still terrible!"

"by the way", said Guy Smiley, "tonights show is brought to you by the letter F and the number 4".

"Fantastic!", exclaimed Slimey.

"Oh, I can't beleive that I got myself into this mess", moaned oscar, who then started to think of the events leading to his presence at the oscars....

 

[minor muppetz]

By the way, I would like to point out that i do not know who is being nominated for this years oscars, nor do I know what movies are being nominated, so any mention of real people at the oscars is a guess. And no, I do not know who this years winner will be.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

Oscar thought back to what it was that made him make a movie....

The Sesame Street cast went to the movies one day to see "Dreamer". Everyone was talking as they left the theatre.

"Now, that horse should get a best actors nomination", said Buster.

"I agree", said Fred the Wonder Horse.

"That movie was incredible!", said Baby Bear.

"That was a great movie, huh, Snuffy?", said Big Bird.

"Yes, it was", said mr. Snuffleupagus, "It makes me want to ride a horse right now".

Buster and Fred heard this and suddenly ran away.

"Elmo likes movies about horsies", said Elmo.

"Yeah", said Zoe, "If a sequel get's made, maybe the horse can be a ballerina".

"Thanks for taking us to the movies, mom", said Gabbi.

"you're welcome", said Maria.

"I liked it", said Miles.

"It should be a classic", said Bob.

Bruno then came out, carrying oscar in his trash can.

"I can't believe we came to see that movie!", groaned Oscar, "It was too happy, too cute, and not trashy enough!"

"You know, Oscar, you didn't have to come with us", said maria.

Bruno nodded his head.

"I wish I hadn't", said oscar, "I should have seen something with more action, more madness, more trash... but at least everybody in the audience was crying in ht emovie, and I did like those whiney babies in the audience..."

Just then, Humprhey and Ingrid were carrying natasha, who was crying really loud.

"Oh, you're still crying", said Ingrid.

"Let's go home", said Humphrey.

"But dispite the loud, annoying babies, I wasted my time", said Oscar.

"Well, Oscar, why don't you just make your own movie?", asked Bob.

"yeah, right..", sneered Oscar, who then started to reconsider, "hmm.. maybe I should... That's a great idea! Come on, Bruno, let's get a movie made!"

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

Oscar wrote a script in ten hours, and then decided to hold interviews with peopel wanting to be involved with his movie.

His first interviewee was Prairie Dawn.

"I would like to help produce and direct your movie, Oscar, but first I'd like to read the script", said Prairie Dawn.

"Go ahead and read", said Oscar.

Prairie Dawn read through the script.

"Eww, this script is terrible!", complained Prairie, "I don't want any part of this".

"Then SCRAM!", shouted Oscar.

"I will scram", said Prairie Dawn, who went past the EXIT door.

"How rude", remarked oscar, "She didn't even slam the door".

"Next!", called oscar.

Elmo came in.

"Hi, Oscar", said Elmo, "Elmo would like to be in your movie".

"Next!", said oscar.

"Hi, I'm, uh, I forget!", said Forgetful Jones.

"You already forgot your line?", said Oscar, "You're in! Next!"

"Hi, Oscar", said Mumford, "I'd like to use my magic for the special effects".

"Let me see you do your stuff", said oscar.

Mumford waved his wand and said his magic words, "A La Peanut Butter Sandhwiches!" Suddenly, the place got messier.

"You're hired", said Oscar.

Grover then came in.

"Hi, Oscar", said Grover, "I would like to help you with your movie in any way that i can. I can act, sing, make meals for the cast and crew, serve meals, help with the budget... you name it, I will do it. Here is my resume."

oscar took his resume.

"Hmm, I don't know.... you listed your three best customers down as refferences, I'll have to call them", said Oscar, "Now GET LOST!"

Oscar then got a phone call.

"A rotten hello", said oscar.

"Hello, Oscar, this is the Grouch Banker", said the Grouch Banker, "After reading your script, I've decided to cancel your loan request".

"What?!", exclaimed Oscar.

"Instead, I'll let you keep the money needed to produce the film", said the banker.

"What?!", moaned Oscar.

Later that night, Grover got a call.

"Hello, Grover", said Oscar, "I've called your refferences, and they gave me all kinds of complaints about you".

"Does that mean I am not going to be in your movie?", worried Grover.

"Are you kidding?", asked Oscar, "You're more than just hired!"

"Oh, thank you", said grover.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

Soon, it was the first day of shooting for Oscar's movie.

"Allright, everybody", yelled oscar, "I want noise on the set!"

The Honkers then honked their noses, the Dingers dinged their heads, some of the grouches involved with the picture screamed bloody murder, and Cookie Monster ate cookies as loudly as possible.

"Alright, that's better", said Oscar, "Now, as you all should know, this play is called 'Hurray For Garbage'. Now, all I'm asking for is for no cute stuff. Everybody got that?"

The grouches all murmured "yeah", and such similar words.

"Now, Forgetful Jones, you are going to play a garbage man", said Oscar.

"Really", said Forgetful, who was dressed as a milkman, "I forgot.. I thought I was supposed to be a detective".

"Now, you read the cue cards that Herry Monster is holding", said oscar.

"These cards are nice and firm", said Herry, who then accidently broke the cue card in half, "Oops! Sorry".

"If you're going to say 'sorry' then you're fired!", shouted Oscar, "Oh, and Cookie, you play a grouch baker".

"Me so excited", said oscar.

"Good. Now, let's practice the scene where you eat some of the cookies you made", said oscar, "Telly, bring in the cookies!"

Telly walked in with a plate full of rotten, mold-covered cookies.

"Thanks for letting me be a production assistant, Oscar", said Telly, "But I don't like the smell of these cookies".

"Me so excited", said Cookie Monster, who then smelled the cookies, "Though these cookies don't smell as good as cookies normally do, but oh well, a cookie is cookie. Cowabunga!"

Cookie Monster then dived the cookies into his mouth, then he coughed a bit, spitting the cookies out.

"hey, oscar", said Cookie Monster, "Me not normally think this about cookies, but these are the first cookies me taste that are terrible!"

"That's one! One set of terrible cookies!", said The Count.

"Can me have stunt double for cookie eating scenes?", asked Cookie Monster.

Later that day, Elmo and Zoe were at Hooper's Store.

"Elmo can't beleive it", said Elmo, "Oscar wouldn't let Elmo be in his movie because Elmo is too adorable. Is adorable a bad thing?"

"No, it's not", said Alan, "But it's really what's on the inside that counts".

"I thought it was The Count who counts", said Zoe.

"But Elmo, sometimes movie producers and directors want more perfection", said Alan, "Just because you don't get cast doesn't mean that you are terrible at acting. Directors and producers can't always hire their friends, especially if those friends are not right for the part".

"Oh, so Elmo guesses that Elmo forgives Oscar", said Elmo.

"Well, oscar might not care if you forgive him or not", said Alan.

"Oh, speaking of oscar, here he comes now", said Zoe.

Oscar came in.

"I'll gave a gravy, marshmello and pepperonni salad, Alan", said oscar.

"Okay, it's coming right up", said Alan, "By the way, how was your first day of shooting?"

"oh, there was a lot of yelling on the set, plenty of disagreeing, people were forgetting their lines, I was throwing fits with the cast and crew...", said Oscar.

"So, you're first day was bad, huh?", said Zoe.

"Are you kidding?", said Oscar, "I loved it! I hope the rest of the filming of my movie is like this!"

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 5

The movie finished filming in six weeks, and Oscar decided to throw a wrap party, not to celebrate the completion of the movie, but because parties can cause big messes.

"Now, before anybody says anything", said Oscar, "I'd like to let you know that I don't want anybody to congraduate me on the completion of my movie".

"Hey, Oscar, can I swim in your pool?", asked Mr. Snuffleupagus.

"Be my guest", said oscar, "And take that furry red menace with you".

"Oh, that's Elmo!", said Elmo, who then followed Snuffy.

"I have popcorn for everybody!", said Grover, "Burnt Popcorn for the grouches..."

"Yay!", cheered the grouches.

"...And unburnt popcorn for the non-grouches", continued Grover.

"yay!", said the non-grouches.

"I will bring in the cake", said Grover.

"By the way", said Hoots, "Where's Bert?"

"Oh, he wanted to come to the party, but he didn't want to get inside this messy trash can", said Ernie.

"Oh, Oscar, I just finished this candy bar, but where do I throw it away?", asked Gina, "Is there a trash can in here?"

"Just throw it on the floor, Gina", said Oscar.

"Shame on you, Gina!", said Telly, "We're supposed to be promoting healthy eating. There's nothing healthy about candy bars!"

The Count started counting trash.

"One pepsi can! Two pepsi cans! One candy bar wrapper! one banana peel...", counted the count.

Grover entered from a large stairway with a cake.

"Here is one grouch cake!", said Grover, who then tripped down the stairs.

"One! One trip!", said The Count.

"hey! a Grouch cake!", said Osvaldo.

"Cake!", said Irvine.

"And it's covered with Eddy's Mud Cream", said grungetta.

"Boy, I'm glad I brought my own birdseed cake", said Big Bird.

"And me glad me brought me own cookies", said Cookie Monster.

"I'll pass on the cake", said maria.

"Hey, how do you know the food is terrible unless you tried it?", asked oscar.

"In that case, would you like to try some of Bert's healthy, low-fat, sugar-free, unpolluted yogurt?", said Ernie.

"No way!", shouted Oscar.

"Well, when is your movie opening, anyway?", asked Gina.

"It will open next week", said oscar, "I hope you all have a crummy time watching it".

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 6

A week went by pretty fast, and soon it was time for the world premier of Oscar's movie, "Hurray For Trash".

"Well, it's opening night", said Grungetta, "Do you think the audience will groan?"

"I hope my movie at least makes them feel a bit bad", said Oscar.

People started coming to the movie.

"I can't wait to see the movie", said Ernie.

"I can't wait 'till it ends", said Bert, "Now remember, you promised that if I saw this movie with you, you won't talk at bedtime for a whole week".

"I know, I know", said Ernie.

"Me glad they sell cookies at concession stand", said Cookie Monster, "So me will have something other than seat cushions to snack on".

"Well, congraduations Oscar", said Telly.

"What do you mean?", asked Oscar, "We don't know what people think of my movie yet".

"No", said telly, "But if you managed to at least make and complete an entire movie, then you should be considered a success".

"I can't wait to be seated", said The Count, "I can count the seats, the audience members, and of course, the credits!"

"Well, Elmo's ready to see the movie", said Elmo.

"Where's Dorthy?", asked Zoe.

"Oh, this theater doesn't allow pets", said Elmo.

"I wonder why they allow other anials that aren't pets", said Zoe.

Everyone was eated. The lights went out.

"yay", said oscar, "It's dark. I love the darkness".

The previews lasted ten minutes.

"Well, I love sitting through the previews", said oscar, "It makes them groan and whine while they are impatiantly waiting for the movie to start".

And then, the movie began, but the audience reaction wasn't what Oscar had hoped for. The audience laughed, appladed, and even enjoyed the movie.

"What?", thought Oscar, "They liked it? Oh, no...."

They all left, talking about the movie.

"That was surprisingly good", said Bert, "i liked how, during the can throwing scene, they threw the cans in patterns... first one pepsi can, then two root beer cans, then three sprite cans..."

"Elmo really liked the most dramatic part of the movie", said Elmo.

"Which part was that again?", asked Miles.

"The part where the homeless grouch misplaced his favorite flattened beach ball", said Elmo, "And Elmo liked how he found it".

"I liked the happy ending", said The Count, "2,346,927 credits!"

Oscar went to his trash can and talked to Slimey.

"Well, Slimey, it's a good thing you didn't go to the premier", said oscar, "They all liked it. They were happy as they watched it. Nobody complained about anything". Oscar sighed and went to bed.

The next morning, Oscar read the papers.

"I can't beleive this", said oscar, "The critics are giving my film five stars, some are giving it three thumbs up... What gives?"

Later that week, Oscar got more miserable.

"Now my movie is number one at the box office?", said oscar, "where did I go right?"

And then, a month later, Oscar got a letter in the mail.

"'Dear Oscar'", Oscar read outloud in his letter, "Your movie has been given an oscar nomination for 'Best Picture'. We will arrange for your transportation. Come to the oscars, and accept your award, if you get it. Yours truly, the academey".

Oscar was now miserable, "It's worth an oscar?! Why me....", he cried.

 

[MartyMuppets]

This is very clever. I laughed to myself when I saw the part about Bert reminding Ernie of his promise not to talk at bedtime for a whole week if he agreed to watch Oscar's movie with him.
Yeah right. As if Bert could ever depend upon Ernie to honour such a promise
And the twist is very funny at the end and yet so obviously appropriate that Oscar should be upset that his movie is successful
Keep up your own work mate

 

[minor muppetz]

This is very clever. I laughed to myself when I saw the part about Bert reminding Ernie of his promise not to talk at bedtime for a whole week if he agreed to watch Oscar's movie with him.
Yeah right. As if Bert could ever depend upon Ernie to honour such a promise

I debated over whether Ernie's promise would be to not talk at bedtime for a week or to go a whole week without making Bert play any games that he originally does not want to play (and then when he does join in the game, Ernie decides to stop).

 

[muppet maniac]

You know...if Oscar is miserable, then that actallu means he's happy about it. Why? Becuase if he feels miserable, he's happy, which makes him feel miserable again, but happy because he loves to complain, then happy, then miserable, then...well I think you all get the idea.

I heard that Oscar actually appeared at the Daytime Emmy Awards last year(which I missed because it was on the same night "The Muppets' Wizard of Oz" was on, but luckily I read a transcript of the appearance at the Tough Pigs website)

The outline overall, was good. I think they should actually have Oscar at the Oscar awards. That'd be real awesome. Just imagine him with a celebrity presenting the award for best film(or something else) I mean, if they did, then that would be really cool!

BTW, I remembered seeing a clip of Piggy at the Oscars with some celebrity. Who was he?