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Princeton
Guest
No Day But Today- Episode 12
Airdate: 6-20-06
Written and Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
G-MAN as Colby
Patrick Warburton as Trooper Wilson
Open on Puddin’s driveway. She and Princeton are waiting for Colby to arrive.
Puddin’: Oh, Prin, I think it’s so nice that you and Colby are going to do some male bonding today.
Princeton: Yeesh! I hate that term: “male bonding”; makes it sound like we’re going curtain shopping.
Puddin’: Well, I’m sorry, Prin, but it’s very important that my two favorite people get along with each other.
Princeton: Yeah, but Puddin’, we’ve had so many bad experiences together: the demo, the publishing fiasco…
Puddin’: But he tasted that zebra for you, though, didn’t he?
Princeton: Here we go with the zebra again. He did one nice thing for me, and for what? I ended up firing Butcher in the end.
Puddin’: Yes, but Prinny, don’t give up hope yet. Colby desperately wants things to be better between him and you; otherwise he never would’ve planned this daytrip. I wouldn’t be so persistent if I didn’t think it’d work out, and it will. Plus, his yacht rides like a dream; you’ll love it!
Princeton: All right, Puddin’, if you say so. What’s the name of the yacht again?
Puddin’: The “Miss Kathleen”; that’s my middle name.
Princeton: Why didn’t he name it after his wife?
Puddin’: Trust me, Prin, he wanted to. But Wilhelmina just doesn’t flow like Kathleen.
Princeton: Well, that makes sense. (sees Colby) Here he comes; oh, Colby, what a beautiful yacht!
Colby: Thank you, Princemeister! What can I say, she keeps me in firewood. Anyway, you ready to go?
Princeton: Yep; I’ll see you, Puddin’. Bye!
Puddin’: Have a great day, guys!
Commercial Break
Open on the Maumee River. Princeton and Colby are lazily drifting along in the “Miss Kathleen”.
Colby: So, you havin’ fun, Prin?
Princeton: You bet! So, what are we fishing for?
Colby: Oh, nothing, really. This is basically a “relax day”. But if you *really* wanted to do some fishing, this river’s got the biggest catfish in the state! (Just then, a loud booming voice is heard via megaphone).
Wilson (source of voice): Colby Fairbanks, your left taillight is cracked. Either dock now or deal with the authorities.
Princeton: Well, so’s your old man!
Colby: Bravo, Prin! At least *something* can be learned from The Three Stooges.
Princeton: Well, I appreciate the kudos, Colby, but I think we better FLOOR IT!!! (Colby presses down on the gas pedal and flies through the water).
Commercial Break
Open on Toledo Mariners Penitentiary, a.k.a. “The Big Tackle Box”. Princeton and Colby are in a cell awaiting bail when Puddin’ arrives.
Puddin’: I swear, I have to bail out so many people, you’d think I lived in Harlem! So, Officer, what’re the charges?
Wilson: Cracked taillight and resisting arrest. (to Colby and Princeton) People like you make me wanna chunder like a snowblower!
Puddin’: Officer Wilson, your first name is Zachary, correct?
Wilson (nervously): Yes. Why do you ask?
Puddin’: Don’t pretend like you don’t recognize me, “Zackie“ Wilson! Is this your twisted idea of revenge: arresting my friends to get to me? You always were a coward.
Princeton: Puddin’, how do you know this guy?
Puddin’: Back in the day, when my tap dancing studio first opened, I needed a little help. Not big jobs, mind you, just small ones. I was gracious back then, so my younger volunteers got a little pocket change for Fireballs and the like. So, Zackie here was unhappy with his job I gave him to do, so here we are. (digs through purse) Here’s a grand, Zackie; don’t let this happen again. Let’s go, boys.
Cut to the threesome driving home in Puddin’s Mercedes.
Princeton: So, Puddin’, what was Zackie’s job?
Puddin’: I let him hand out headbands to the penguins. And you think you have it hard.
Princeton: Actually, not really.
Puddin’: Do you mind, Prin? I was going for a moment here!
The End
Airdate: 6-20-06
Written and Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
G-MAN as Colby
Patrick Warburton as Trooper Wilson
Open on Puddin’s driveway. She and Princeton are waiting for Colby to arrive.
Puddin’: Oh, Prin, I think it’s so nice that you and Colby are going to do some male bonding today.
Princeton: Yeesh! I hate that term: “male bonding”; makes it sound like we’re going curtain shopping.
Puddin’: Well, I’m sorry, Prin, but it’s very important that my two favorite people get along with each other.
Princeton: Yeah, but Puddin’, we’ve had so many bad experiences together: the demo, the publishing fiasco…
Puddin’: But he tasted that zebra for you, though, didn’t he?
Princeton: Here we go with the zebra again. He did one nice thing for me, and for what? I ended up firing Butcher in the end.
Puddin’: Yes, but Prinny, don’t give up hope yet. Colby desperately wants things to be better between him and you; otherwise he never would’ve planned this daytrip. I wouldn’t be so persistent if I didn’t think it’d work out, and it will. Plus, his yacht rides like a dream; you’ll love it!
Princeton: All right, Puddin’, if you say so. What’s the name of the yacht again?
Puddin’: The “Miss Kathleen”; that’s my middle name.
Princeton: Why didn’t he name it after his wife?
Puddin’: Trust me, Prin, he wanted to. But Wilhelmina just doesn’t flow like Kathleen.
Princeton: Well, that makes sense. (sees Colby) Here he comes; oh, Colby, what a beautiful yacht!
Colby: Thank you, Princemeister! What can I say, she keeps me in firewood. Anyway, you ready to go?
Princeton: Yep; I’ll see you, Puddin’. Bye!
Puddin’: Have a great day, guys!
Commercial Break
Open on the Maumee River. Princeton and Colby are lazily drifting along in the “Miss Kathleen”.
Colby: So, you havin’ fun, Prin?
Princeton: You bet! So, what are we fishing for?
Colby: Oh, nothing, really. This is basically a “relax day”. But if you *really* wanted to do some fishing, this river’s got the biggest catfish in the state! (Just then, a loud booming voice is heard via megaphone).
Wilson (source of voice): Colby Fairbanks, your left taillight is cracked. Either dock now or deal with the authorities.
Princeton: Well, so’s your old man!
Colby: Bravo, Prin! At least *something* can be learned from The Three Stooges.
Princeton: Well, I appreciate the kudos, Colby, but I think we better FLOOR IT!!! (Colby presses down on the gas pedal and flies through the water).
Commercial Break
Open on Toledo Mariners Penitentiary, a.k.a. “The Big Tackle Box”. Princeton and Colby are in a cell awaiting bail when Puddin’ arrives.
Puddin’: I swear, I have to bail out so many people, you’d think I lived in Harlem! So, Officer, what’re the charges?
Wilson: Cracked taillight and resisting arrest. (to Colby and Princeton) People like you make me wanna chunder like a snowblower!
Puddin’: Officer Wilson, your first name is Zachary, correct?
Wilson (nervously): Yes. Why do you ask?
Puddin’: Don’t pretend like you don’t recognize me, “Zackie“ Wilson! Is this your twisted idea of revenge: arresting my friends to get to me? You always were a coward.
Princeton: Puddin’, how do you know this guy?
Puddin’: Back in the day, when my tap dancing studio first opened, I needed a little help. Not big jobs, mind you, just small ones. I was gracious back then, so my younger volunteers got a little pocket change for Fireballs and the like. So, Zackie here was unhappy with his job I gave him to do, so here we are. (digs through purse) Here’s a grand, Zackie; don’t let this happen again. Let’s go, boys.
Cut to the threesome driving home in Puddin’s Mercedes.
Princeton: So, Puddin’, what was Zackie’s job?
Puddin’: I let him hand out headbands to the penguins. And you think you have it hard.
Princeton: Actually, not really.
Puddin’: Do you mind, Prin? I was going for a moment here!
The End
