P
Princeton
Guest
No Day But Today- Episode 23
Airdate: 9-4-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Starring: Redboobergurl as Puddin’
Amanda Seyfried as Madison
Jerry Stiller as the voice of Mr. Gus
Christopher Lee as Brighton Parker
Craig Ferguson as Cabbie
Open on Puddin’s house. Princeton is at the Turquoise Parrot all day for a health inspection, so naturally Madison is home, Mr. Gus is too old for any strenuous activity, and Puddin’ has nothing better to do anyway. The threesome are sitting around with nothing to do, so they generate ideas.
Puddin’: We could go for a walk.
Mr. Gus: Oh, please! Do you *want* me to have a K-9 coronary?
Madison: Yeah, and my flip flops have holes in them.
Mr. Gus: From running from the po-po, no doubt.
Madison: Shut up! Hey, we could listen to my Eminem CD.
Mr. Gus: Oh, come on! You know I’m not allowed to have chocolate?
Puddin’: Or, in this case, “white chocolate”. Well, okay, Gussy, what’s *your* idea?
Mr. Gus: Well, remember that wok you loved growing up?
Puddin’: Sir Woksalot? Of course I do!
Madison: Wait, wait, wait! You gave a name to a wok?
Puddin’: I was a deprived child growing up. Sir Woksalot was my best friend. Dumplin’, on the other hand, had Malibu Midge!
Madison: Don’t you mean Malibu *Barbie*?
Mr. Gus: No, it was Midge. Dumplin’ always did have an eye for obscurity.
Madison: Well, anyways, what was a British family doing with a *wok*?
Puddin’: Hey, Brits can knock down stir-fry with the best of them! Anyway, Gussy, why do you bring that up?
Mr. Gus: You can’t expect me to carry a 16 lb. wok all the way from Liverpool on my back, so naturally I left it there. But, being as we have nothing to do, and you’ve probably still got a large amount of inheritance money left from when your mama croaked, why don’t we go back to Hapsburg Hall and get the wok?
Puddin’: Sounds great! Let me book airline tickets, and I’ll let Father know we’re coming, and we’ll soon be off on the road to Hapsburg Hall!
Commercial Break
Open on Heathrow Airport. The threesome are waiting outside for the cabbie to come. Madison is a bit upset, however: she lost her carry-on bag.
Puddin’: For pity’s sakes, Mad, why did you have to bring luggage *at all*? We’re just stopping by my father’s house; we’re not spending the night anywhere. What was in it anyway?
Madison: My extra dark mascara and my picture of me and Princeton in the heart-shaped frame.
Puddin’: Okay, there’s three things wrong with that: A) What do you need “extra dark” mascara for? You’re *not* the girl from Evanescence. B) Don’t worry about that dinky frame. You got it at Claire’s, not Saks. And C) Lord knows, much to my chagrin, that that was not the only picture in existence of you and Princeton. Sheesh, you could fill up three whole albums, if desired. Get over yourself! (sees Cabbie pull up) Oh, good, our cab is here. (they get in) Good evening, Guv.
Cabbie: Evening, Miss. Where to?
Puddin’: A place so well known, no address needs to be given: Hapsburg Hall.
Cabbie: Ah, Brighton’s place! I was just there a few weeks ago for one of his famous parties. Though, I must say, he’s lost his spunk since Ducklin’ died.
Puddin’: That’s my mother.
Mr. Gus: A great old broad.
Puddin’: I wasn’t aware he was still throwing those parties at his age.
Cabbie: Well, trust me, they were much more extravagant when your mother was still around. Brighton doesn’t go to the extremes he used to anymore. Well, here you are, Miss. Nice talking to you (they get out, and Cabbie drives away).
Brighton (comes outside with arms outstretched): Hello, my darling girl.
Commercial Break
Open on the living room of Hapsburg Hall. Puddin’ and company are settled in, and Brighton is catching up with them.
Brighton: Well, even if you’re not my *real* granddaughter, it’s wonderful to meet you, Madison. I always dreamed that Puddin’ would be so kind as to bring someone less fortunate into her home.
Puddin’: I always tried to live up to your expectations, Father.
Brighton: Nonsense, child! Even if you were on Death Row, I’d still be proud of you. But, enough with the sentiments. I know why you’re here. Sir Woksalot is by the door. I know you didn’t come here to see me, so you’ll probably want to take it and go.
Puddin’: Why, of course not, Father! Actually, there *was* something I wanted to talk to you about. The cabbie that drove us here told us that at 82 years old, you’re *still* giving parties?
Brighton: Oh, now, not to worry. I don’t go as all out as I used to.
Puddin’: Yes, he mentioned that, too. I’m still worried about you, though. The truth is you’re older now, and I don’t want you to overexert yourself.
Brighton: Oh, Puddin’, please don’t worry about me. I’m fine; albeit, a little lonely these last few months, but I’m getting along quite nicely. (looks out window and sees lighting). Oh, my gracious, a storm’s coming. Well, no but’s about it, you’re not going out on the roads now; you’re staying here.
Madison: Now, wait a minute. Puddin’, I thought you said...
Puddin’: I know what I said, but plans change. I guess to a point, so am I. We’ll be glad to stay, for the night,... Dad.
The End
Airdate: 9-4-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Starring: Redboobergurl as Puddin’
Amanda Seyfried as Madison
Jerry Stiller as the voice of Mr. Gus
Christopher Lee as Brighton Parker
Craig Ferguson as Cabbie
Open on Puddin’s house. Princeton is at the Turquoise Parrot all day for a health inspection, so naturally Madison is home, Mr. Gus is too old for any strenuous activity, and Puddin’ has nothing better to do anyway. The threesome are sitting around with nothing to do, so they generate ideas.
Puddin’: We could go for a walk.
Mr. Gus: Oh, please! Do you *want* me to have a K-9 coronary?
Madison: Yeah, and my flip flops have holes in them.
Mr. Gus: From running from the po-po, no doubt.
Madison: Shut up! Hey, we could listen to my Eminem CD.
Mr. Gus: Oh, come on! You know I’m not allowed to have chocolate?
Puddin’: Or, in this case, “white chocolate”. Well, okay, Gussy, what’s *your* idea?
Mr. Gus: Well, remember that wok you loved growing up?
Puddin’: Sir Woksalot? Of course I do!
Madison: Wait, wait, wait! You gave a name to a wok?
Puddin’: I was a deprived child growing up. Sir Woksalot was my best friend. Dumplin’, on the other hand, had Malibu Midge!
Madison: Don’t you mean Malibu *Barbie*?
Mr. Gus: No, it was Midge. Dumplin’ always did have an eye for obscurity.
Madison: Well, anyways, what was a British family doing with a *wok*?
Puddin’: Hey, Brits can knock down stir-fry with the best of them! Anyway, Gussy, why do you bring that up?
Mr. Gus: You can’t expect me to carry a 16 lb. wok all the way from Liverpool on my back, so naturally I left it there. But, being as we have nothing to do, and you’ve probably still got a large amount of inheritance money left from when your mama croaked, why don’t we go back to Hapsburg Hall and get the wok?
Puddin’: Sounds great! Let me book airline tickets, and I’ll let Father know we’re coming, and we’ll soon be off on the road to Hapsburg Hall!
Commercial Break
Open on Heathrow Airport. The threesome are waiting outside for the cabbie to come. Madison is a bit upset, however: she lost her carry-on bag.
Puddin’: For pity’s sakes, Mad, why did you have to bring luggage *at all*? We’re just stopping by my father’s house; we’re not spending the night anywhere. What was in it anyway?
Madison: My extra dark mascara and my picture of me and Princeton in the heart-shaped frame.
Puddin’: Okay, there’s three things wrong with that: A) What do you need “extra dark” mascara for? You’re *not* the girl from Evanescence. B) Don’t worry about that dinky frame. You got it at Claire’s, not Saks. And C) Lord knows, much to my chagrin, that that was not the only picture in existence of you and Princeton. Sheesh, you could fill up three whole albums, if desired. Get over yourself! (sees Cabbie pull up) Oh, good, our cab is here. (they get in) Good evening, Guv.
Cabbie: Evening, Miss. Where to?
Puddin’: A place so well known, no address needs to be given: Hapsburg Hall.
Cabbie: Ah, Brighton’s place! I was just there a few weeks ago for one of his famous parties. Though, I must say, he’s lost his spunk since Ducklin’ died.
Puddin’: That’s my mother.
Mr. Gus: A great old broad.
Puddin’: I wasn’t aware he was still throwing those parties at his age.
Cabbie: Well, trust me, they were much more extravagant when your mother was still around. Brighton doesn’t go to the extremes he used to anymore. Well, here you are, Miss. Nice talking to you (they get out, and Cabbie drives away).
Brighton (comes outside with arms outstretched): Hello, my darling girl.
Commercial Break
Open on the living room of Hapsburg Hall. Puddin’ and company are settled in, and Brighton is catching up with them.
Brighton: Well, even if you’re not my *real* granddaughter, it’s wonderful to meet you, Madison. I always dreamed that Puddin’ would be so kind as to bring someone less fortunate into her home.
Puddin’: I always tried to live up to your expectations, Father.
Brighton: Nonsense, child! Even if you were on Death Row, I’d still be proud of you. But, enough with the sentiments. I know why you’re here. Sir Woksalot is by the door. I know you didn’t come here to see me, so you’ll probably want to take it and go.
Puddin’: Why, of course not, Father! Actually, there *was* something I wanted to talk to you about. The cabbie that drove us here told us that at 82 years old, you’re *still* giving parties?
Brighton: Oh, now, not to worry. I don’t go as all out as I used to.
Puddin’: Yes, he mentioned that, too. I’m still worried about you, though. The truth is you’re older now, and I don’t want you to overexert yourself.
Brighton: Oh, Puddin’, please don’t worry about me. I’m fine; albeit, a little lonely these last few months, but I’m getting along quite nicely. (looks out window and sees lighting). Oh, my gracious, a storm’s coming. Well, no but’s about it, you’re not going out on the roads now; you’re staying here.
Madison: Now, wait a minute. Puddin’, I thought you said...
Puddin’: I know what I said, but plans change. I guess to a point, so am I. We’ll be glad to stay, for the night,... Dad.
The End