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Princeton
Guest
No Day But Today- Episode 26
Airdate: 9-17-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
G-MAN as Colby
Open on the Lecture Hall. Puddin’ and Colby are practicing for their vaudeville act later on in the day.
Puddin’: Oh, Colby, I tell you, with my choreography and your silky singing voice, we make quite the team!
Colby: I totally agree, dear, but bear in mind...( points to his wedding band)
Puddin’: Of course, Colby, of course! After all, one has no choice but to appreciate the immense searching it must’ve taken Mina to find the Cracker Jack box that had that ring in it.
Colby: Oh, pshaw, Puddin’. (looks towards the door) Well, if it isn’t the Princemeister!
Princeton: Hi, guys, hope I’m not interrupting anything.
Puddin’ (sarcastically): What, *you* interrupt something, Prin? Never!
Colby: Of course you’re not interrupting anything, Prinny! Me and Puddin’ were just practicing for our big routine tonight. (Just then, Puddin’s cell phone rings)
Puddin’ (into phone): Hello? Mad, darling, what’s wrong? You broke your arm? How in the name of heaven did you do that? Playing lacrosse? Don’t you need guardian consent for that? I thought so; why didn’t you ask me? Because I say that sports lead to nothing but jockdom? Well, it’s true; I’d *much* rather you take tap class than any other elective in the whole of St. Ursula’s! Well, I’m not taking you to the hospital! Who says I have to? Yes, Mad, I know I’m all you have, but... oh, all right, Mad, you win; no need to up the schmaltz level. I’ll be right there. Bye. (hangs up) Well, it’s pretty self-explanatory, I’m outie. (leaves)
Princeton: Well, this is just wonderful! Who’s going to be your partner now, Colby?
Colby: It only stands to reason, Prin: you. Now, let’s go backstage; we’ve got no time to waste. You need to learn the song, the moves, and... oh, it doesn’t matter. Just hurry!
Commercial Break
Open on backstage at the Lecture Hall. Princeton and Colby are in costume and ready to go.
Colby: You nervous, Prin?
Princeton: Of course I am! This is all new to me, you know.
Colby: Well, don’t worry about a thing. Just follow my lead and you’ll be an O.K. petunia!
Announcer: And now, for our next act, Toledo’s very own vaudeville team: Cheese and Jersey!
(They make their entrance and start right in on their song)
P&C: “Well, we ain’t got a barrel of money
Maybe we’re ragged and funny
But we’ll travel along
Singin’ our song
Side by side”
Colby: They say marriage is like a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffer-ing.
Princeton: Well then, you’re the ultimate tri-fecta, my friend!
Colby (sings): “Don’t know what’s coming tomorrow
Maybe it’s trouble and sorrow
But we’ll travel the road
Sharing our load
Side by side”
(speaks) (to Princeton): Do you realize that when Lincoln was your age, he was chopping wood and helping his parents?
Princeton: Yeah, and when he was your age, he was President!
(sings): “Through all kinds of weather
What if the sky should fall?
As long as we’re together,
It doesn’t matter at all”
Colby: You know, a Scotsman’s wife was running a fever of 105.
Princeton: That’s awful; what did he do?
Colby: He moved her into the basement and used her to heat the house!
P&C (sings): “When they’ve all had their troubles and parted
We’ll be the same as we started
Just a travelin’ along
Singing our song
Side by side!”
Commercial Break
Open on Colby’s house. He and Princeton are having a celebratory toddy.
Colby: Well, my boy, ya done good, ya done real good.
Princeton: Yeah, I guess I did. Well, I guess I better head for home.
Colby: All right, Prin. Oh, Prin?
Princeton: Yeah?
Colby: Did tonight make you realize that maybe we’ve finally become friends?
Princeton: Yep, it did. Good night, Colby. (leaves)
The End
Airdate: 9-17-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
G-MAN as Colby
Open on the Lecture Hall. Puddin’ and Colby are practicing for their vaudeville act later on in the day.
Puddin’: Oh, Colby, I tell you, with my choreography and your silky singing voice, we make quite the team!
Colby: I totally agree, dear, but bear in mind...( points to his wedding band)
Puddin’: Of course, Colby, of course! After all, one has no choice but to appreciate the immense searching it must’ve taken Mina to find the Cracker Jack box that had that ring in it.
Colby: Oh, pshaw, Puddin’. (looks towards the door) Well, if it isn’t the Princemeister!
Princeton: Hi, guys, hope I’m not interrupting anything.
Puddin’ (sarcastically): What, *you* interrupt something, Prin? Never!
Colby: Of course you’re not interrupting anything, Prinny! Me and Puddin’ were just practicing for our big routine tonight. (Just then, Puddin’s cell phone rings)
Puddin’ (into phone): Hello? Mad, darling, what’s wrong? You broke your arm? How in the name of heaven did you do that? Playing lacrosse? Don’t you need guardian consent for that? I thought so; why didn’t you ask me? Because I say that sports lead to nothing but jockdom? Well, it’s true; I’d *much* rather you take tap class than any other elective in the whole of St. Ursula’s! Well, I’m not taking you to the hospital! Who says I have to? Yes, Mad, I know I’m all you have, but... oh, all right, Mad, you win; no need to up the schmaltz level. I’ll be right there. Bye. (hangs up) Well, it’s pretty self-explanatory, I’m outie. (leaves)
Princeton: Well, this is just wonderful! Who’s going to be your partner now, Colby?
Colby: It only stands to reason, Prin: you. Now, let’s go backstage; we’ve got no time to waste. You need to learn the song, the moves, and... oh, it doesn’t matter. Just hurry!
Commercial Break
Open on backstage at the Lecture Hall. Princeton and Colby are in costume and ready to go.
Colby: You nervous, Prin?
Princeton: Of course I am! This is all new to me, you know.
Colby: Well, don’t worry about a thing. Just follow my lead and you’ll be an O.K. petunia!
Announcer: And now, for our next act, Toledo’s very own vaudeville team: Cheese and Jersey!
(They make their entrance and start right in on their song)
P&C: “Well, we ain’t got a barrel of money
Maybe we’re ragged and funny
But we’ll travel along
Singin’ our song
Side by side”
Colby: They say marriage is like a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffer-ing.
Princeton: Well then, you’re the ultimate tri-fecta, my friend!
Colby (sings): “Don’t know what’s coming tomorrow
Maybe it’s trouble and sorrow
But we’ll travel the road
Sharing our load
Side by side”
(speaks) (to Princeton): Do you realize that when Lincoln was your age, he was chopping wood and helping his parents?
Princeton: Yeah, and when he was your age, he was President!
(sings): “Through all kinds of weather
What if the sky should fall?
As long as we’re together,
It doesn’t matter at all”
Colby: You know, a Scotsman’s wife was running a fever of 105.
Princeton: That’s awful; what did he do?
Colby: He moved her into the basement and used her to heat the house!
P&C (sings): “When they’ve all had their troubles and parted
We’ll be the same as we started
Just a travelin’ along
Singing our song
Side by side!”
Commercial Break
Open on Colby’s house. He and Princeton are having a celebratory toddy.
Colby: Well, my boy, ya done good, ya done real good.
Princeton: Yeah, I guess I did. Well, I guess I better head for home.
Colby: All right, Prin. Oh, Prin?
Princeton: Yeah?
Colby: Did tonight make you realize that maybe we’ve finally become friends?
Princeton: Yep, it did. Good night, Colby. (leaves)
The End
