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Princeton
Guest
No Day But Today- Episode 17
Airdate: 7-17-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
Amanda Seyfried as Madison
John Cleese as Giles
Jon Lovitz as Mr. Fitzsimmons
Bea Arthur as Coach Hood
Open on Puddin’s living room. Princeton and Madison are relaxing on the coach, fingers entwined. Just then, Puddin’ comes in the front door, happy at first but now shocked in anticipation of PDA.
Puddin’: What the freak-a-leak are you two doing? I’ll tell you one thing, there better be a generous glob of Crazy Glue between those two paws, because that is the only excuse I’ll take!
Princeton: Well, couples are known to do that, Puddin’.
Madison: Yeah, when’s *your* other half coming home, Puddin’?
Puddin’: Touche, Mad, touche. But, believe it or not, even your streetwise yet soiled teenage mind cannot kill my happiness today.
Madison: Oh, Ben & Jerry’s go on sale today?
Princeton: Or perhaps Colby left his wife for you?
Puddin’: Would you two just be still? I am talking about my 25th high school reunion! And you two are going.
Princeton: Well, gee, Puddin’, thanks for getting our approval.
Madison: And I *know* you’re not going to pass me off as your *real* daughter, right?
Puddin’: Well, of course I am. “Foster” does not cool points get you.
Madison: Fine! Then, if I’m your daughter, then Princeton is my fiancee. If not, no deal.
Puddin’: Oh, all right! It’s just for one night, anyway.
Commercial Break
Open on Toledo High School. Puddin’ is there, wringing her hands, Madison is drinking punch, and Princeton is once again holding hands with her.
Puddin’: For pity’s sake, do you two have to hold hands?
Princeton: Well, of course… mother-in-law dearest.
Puddin’: Stop it, just stop it! Oh, look, here comes my drama teacher, Mr. Fitzsimmons. (they walk over to him)
Fitzsimmons: Well, if it isn’t Puddin’ Parker! Oh, it’s simply a delight to see you. I take it these are your children?
Puddin’: Just one; this is my daughter, Madison. And this is her fi… her fi… her boy toy, Princeton.
Fitzsimmons: Splendid. Well, Madison, your mother was always a vital part of our yearly plays.
Madison: Really? What play did she have her biggest role in?
Fitzsimmons: Oh, “Macbeth”, without a doubt.
Puddin’: Yep, Witch Number Three, that was me. (Fitzsimmons walks away, and in his place is Coach Hood).
Coach Hood: Puddin’, is that you?
Puddin’: Oh, Coach Hood! What a surprise!
Coach Hood: Are these your children?
Madison: Yes, I’m her daughter, and this is my fiancee.
Puddin’ (aside): I owe you one, Mad.
Coach Hood: Well, at any rate, your mother was my best cheerleader… about 100 lbs ago, at least.
Puddin’: Okay, coach, movin’ on! (they walk away and stop abruptly). Oh, Lord, it can’t be him!
Princeton: Who, Puddin’?
Puddin’: Giles Glover, I almost married him.
Commercial Break
Princeton: Oh, I gotta hear this!
Puddin’: Really, Prin, there’s nothing to tell. We dated all through high school, got engaged, and then…oh, I can’t say it.
Madison: Come on, Puddin’, just spill it.
Puddin’: Dumplin’ told him I was seeing someone else!
Madison: “Dumplin’”? Who’s that?
Princeton: Her evil twin sister. I’ll tell you all about her once you have some more punch.
Puddin’: Should I go to him, Mad?
Madison: Of course you should! You’ve got to explain to him what happened. Now go. (ushers her over to Giles).
Giles (sees Puddin’): Puddin’? Is that you?
Puddin: Yes, Giles, it’s me. There’s something you should know.
Giles: I already know about what Dumplin’ said. Connie Black told me, and I never believed a word of it.
Puddin’: Why didn’t you let me know you knew?
Giles: I somehow thought, that no matter how untrue it was, you didn’t want to see me anymore.
Puddin’: Giles, darling, we were *engaged*; why would I not want to see you?
Giles: I don’t know; cold feet, I guess. Anyway, I moved on and got married, but truth be told, I never got completely over you. I always wondered how you were doing, where you were, … if you’d remember me. I just hope you haven’t forgot what I signed in your yearbook every year: “I.L.Y.F.”. Did you ever figure out what that meant?
Puddin’: Well, I was never positive, but I always assumed it meant “I’ll love you forever”.
Giles: That’s right, and it still applies.
The End
Airdate: 7-17-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
Amanda Seyfried as Madison
John Cleese as Giles
Jon Lovitz as Mr. Fitzsimmons
Bea Arthur as Coach Hood
Open on Puddin’s living room. Princeton and Madison are relaxing on the coach, fingers entwined. Just then, Puddin’ comes in the front door, happy at first but now shocked in anticipation of PDA.
Puddin’: What the freak-a-leak are you two doing? I’ll tell you one thing, there better be a generous glob of Crazy Glue between those two paws, because that is the only excuse I’ll take!
Princeton: Well, couples are known to do that, Puddin’.
Madison: Yeah, when’s *your* other half coming home, Puddin’?
Puddin’: Touche, Mad, touche. But, believe it or not, even your streetwise yet soiled teenage mind cannot kill my happiness today.
Madison: Oh, Ben & Jerry’s go on sale today?
Princeton: Or perhaps Colby left his wife for you?
Puddin’: Would you two just be still? I am talking about my 25th high school reunion! And you two are going.
Princeton: Well, gee, Puddin’, thanks for getting our approval.
Madison: And I *know* you’re not going to pass me off as your *real* daughter, right?
Puddin’: Well, of course I am. “Foster” does not cool points get you.
Madison: Fine! Then, if I’m your daughter, then Princeton is my fiancee. If not, no deal.
Puddin’: Oh, all right! It’s just for one night, anyway.
Commercial Break
Open on Toledo High School. Puddin’ is there, wringing her hands, Madison is drinking punch, and Princeton is once again holding hands with her.
Puddin’: For pity’s sake, do you two have to hold hands?
Princeton: Well, of course… mother-in-law dearest.
Puddin’: Stop it, just stop it! Oh, look, here comes my drama teacher, Mr. Fitzsimmons. (they walk over to him)
Fitzsimmons: Well, if it isn’t Puddin’ Parker! Oh, it’s simply a delight to see you. I take it these are your children?
Puddin’: Just one; this is my daughter, Madison. And this is her fi… her fi… her boy toy, Princeton.
Fitzsimmons: Splendid. Well, Madison, your mother was always a vital part of our yearly plays.
Madison: Really? What play did she have her biggest role in?
Fitzsimmons: Oh, “Macbeth”, without a doubt.
Puddin’: Yep, Witch Number Three, that was me. (Fitzsimmons walks away, and in his place is Coach Hood).
Coach Hood: Puddin’, is that you?
Puddin’: Oh, Coach Hood! What a surprise!
Coach Hood: Are these your children?
Madison: Yes, I’m her daughter, and this is my fiancee.
Puddin’ (aside): I owe you one, Mad.
Coach Hood: Well, at any rate, your mother was my best cheerleader… about 100 lbs ago, at least.
Puddin’: Okay, coach, movin’ on! (they walk away and stop abruptly). Oh, Lord, it can’t be him!
Princeton: Who, Puddin’?
Puddin’: Giles Glover, I almost married him.
Commercial Break
Princeton: Oh, I gotta hear this!
Puddin’: Really, Prin, there’s nothing to tell. We dated all through high school, got engaged, and then…oh, I can’t say it.
Madison: Come on, Puddin’, just spill it.
Puddin’: Dumplin’ told him I was seeing someone else!
Madison: “Dumplin’”? Who’s that?
Princeton: Her evil twin sister. I’ll tell you all about her once you have some more punch.
Puddin’: Should I go to him, Mad?
Madison: Of course you should! You’ve got to explain to him what happened. Now go. (ushers her over to Giles).
Giles (sees Puddin’): Puddin’? Is that you?
Puddin: Yes, Giles, it’s me. There’s something you should know.
Giles: I already know about what Dumplin’ said. Connie Black told me, and I never believed a word of it.
Puddin’: Why didn’t you let me know you knew?
Giles: I somehow thought, that no matter how untrue it was, you didn’t want to see me anymore.
Puddin’: Giles, darling, we were *engaged*; why would I not want to see you?
Giles: I don’t know; cold feet, I guess. Anyway, I moved on and got married, but truth be told, I never got completely over you. I always wondered how you were doing, where you were, … if you’d remember me. I just hope you haven’t forgot what I signed in your yearbook every year: “I.L.Y.F.”. Did you ever figure out what that meant?
Puddin’: Well, I was never positive, but I always assumed it meant “I’ll love you forever”.
Giles: That’s right, and it still applies.
The End
