P
Princeton
Guest
No Day But Today- Episode 18
Airdate: 7-29-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
Amanda Seyfried as Madison
Mary Scheer as Wilhelmina
Andrea Martin as Marigold
Open on Puddin’s studio. Puddin’ will soon be interviewing potentials for the new secretary position. In the meantime, she, Princeton, and Madison are sitting around, waiting for the first woman to arrive.
Princeton: Puddin’, I still don’t understand why you need a secretary. Aren’t you content with the work I do?
Puddin’: Of course not, Prin! No, it’s nothing against you; I just think that we need a third piece of the triangle to make this establishment as perfect as possible.
Madison: “Perfect”? Puddin’, you teach penguins how to tap dance!
Puddin’: It’s harder than it sounds, Mad, believe me. They don’t have the ten advantages that I do. (sees Wilhelmina walk in) Mina, darling, what a surprise!
Wilhelmina: Not so much, toots. Didn’t you read your list? I should be the first name on there.
Puddin’ (reads list): Well, turn me upside down and paint me blue! Well, why do you need a job with me? I thought you already had a job.
Wilhelmina: I did, but I knew early on that I was made for bigger and better things. Plus, it was grueling stuffing cotton in aspirin bottles.
Puddin’ (dryly): Yes, I can imagine. Well, what makes you think you’d be a good secretary?
Wilhelmina: Are you kidding? I’m a natural. I can type, I can take shorthand, oh, I can do it all!
Princeton: Are you good at sitting? Oh, yes, I went there.
Puddin’: Well, Mina, seeing as I’ve had the hots for your husband for 20+ years, I’d say this interview is over. Next!
Commercial Break
Puddin’: Well, now, let’s see who’s next: Marigold Davis.
Madison: Isn’t she the fashion critic for Toledo’s morning show?
Marigold (walks in, is if on cue): In the flesh and at your service! PC, looking dynamite, as always. Still got the tie?
Princeton: Of course I do! Sheesh, I think you’d have the injuns scalp me is I deep-sixed it. Now, if it were Puddin’...
Marigold: Oh, sweetie, are you kidding me? Puddin’ may be rolling in the Prada bag department, but unlike me, she doesn’t have a PhD in fashion.
Puddin’ (sheepishly): Only when it’s new. Well, if you’re such a fashionista, why do you need a job as a secretary?
Marigold: Why, to give you fashion tips, of course, darling! I mean, it’s almost August, and you’re wearing a mink stole?
Puddin’: Goodbye, Marigold. And don’t bump the door with your keister on the way out.
Marigold (walks out): And ruin the cashmere? Are you serious?
Puddin’: Oy vey! All right, moving on, Madison McDonald?
Commercial Break
Puddin’: Mad, how did your name get on this list?
Madison: Well, Puddin’, it just stands to reason: I’m your foster daughter, I live with you, I have no job... heck, I even eat your meals. And believe me, that takes some doing. Don’t you see, I’m a shoe-in!
Puddin’: Well, gosh, that never occurred to me.
Princeton: And in what way should that surprise us?
Puddin’: Pardon?
Madison: Oh, please, Puddin’, before I met you, I didn’t know people actually talked back to their Rice Krispies!
Puddin’: All right, I get it! You want the job, it’s yours. But don’t think that your pay is going to be spent on thongs and halters and such.
Madison: Well, would you rather I wear a mink stole in August?
The End
Airdate: 7-29-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
Amanda Seyfried as Madison
Mary Scheer as Wilhelmina
Andrea Martin as Marigold
Open on Puddin’s studio. Puddin’ will soon be interviewing potentials for the new secretary position. In the meantime, she, Princeton, and Madison are sitting around, waiting for the first woman to arrive.
Princeton: Puddin’, I still don’t understand why you need a secretary. Aren’t you content with the work I do?
Puddin’: Of course not, Prin! No, it’s nothing against you; I just think that we need a third piece of the triangle to make this establishment as perfect as possible.
Madison: “Perfect”? Puddin’, you teach penguins how to tap dance!
Puddin’: It’s harder than it sounds, Mad, believe me. They don’t have the ten advantages that I do. (sees Wilhelmina walk in) Mina, darling, what a surprise!
Wilhelmina: Not so much, toots. Didn’t you read your list? I should be the first name on there.
Puddin’ (reads list): Well, turn me upside down and paint me blue! Well, why do you need a job with me? I thought you already had a job.
Wilhelmina: I did, but I knew early on that I was made for bigger and better things. Plus, it was grueling stuffing cotton in aspirin bottles.
Puddin’ (dryly): Yes, I can imagine. Well, what makes you think you’d be a good secretary?
Wilhelmina: Are you kidding? I’m a natural. I can type, I can take shorthand, oh, I can do it all!
Princeton: Are you good at sitting? Oh, yes, I went there.
Puddin’: Well, Mina, seeing as I’ve had the hots for your husband for 20+ years, I’d say this interview is over. Next!
Commercial Break
Puddin’: Well, now, let’s see who’s next: Marigold Davis.
Madison: Isn’t she the fashion critic for Toledo’s morning show?
Marigold (walks in, is if on cue): In the flesh and at your service! PC, looking dynamite, as always. Still got the tie?
Princeton: Of course I do! Sheesh, I think you’d have the injuns scalp me is I deep-sixed it. Now, if it were Puddin’...
Marigold: Oh, sweetie, are you kidding me? Puddin’ may be rolling in the Prada bag department, but unlike me, she doesn’t have a PhD in fashion.
Puddin’ (sheepishly): Only when it’s new. Well, if you’re such a fashionista, why do you need a job as a secretary?
Marigold: Why, to give you fashion tips, of course, darling! I mean, it’s almost August, and you’re wearing a mink stole?
Puddin’: Goodbye, Marigold. And don’t bump the door with your keister on the way out.
Marigold (walks out): And ruin the cashmere? Are you serious?
Puddin’: Oy vey! All right, moving on, Madison McDonald?
Commercial Break
Puddin’: Mad, how did your name get on this list?
Madison: Well, Puddin’, it just stands to reason: I’m your foster daughter, I live with you, I have no job... heck, I even eat your meals. And believe me, that takes some doing. Don’t you see, I’m a shoe-in!
Puddin’: Well, gosh, that never occurred to me.
Princeton: And in what way should that surprise us?
Puddin’: Pardon?
Madison: Oh, please, Puddin’, before I met you, I didn’t know people actually talked back to their Rice Krispies!
Puddin’: All right, I get it! You want the job, it’s yours. But don’t think that your pay is going to be spent on thongs and halters and such.
Madison: Well, would you rather I wear a mink stole in August?
The End