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Princeton
Guest
No Day But Today- Episode 7
Airdate: 4-12-06
Written and Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin' and Dumplin'
Jamie Farr as Max
Open on Puddin's house. She and Princeton are franticly rearranging the house; Puddin's twin sister, Dumplin', is comin to Toledo for a visit.
Princeton: Puddin', really, your house looks FINE! Dumplin' won't care what it looks like; seeing you's all that'll matter.
Puddin': Well then, you OBVIOUSLY don't know Dumplin' Parker! She's very judgemental about my life, ever since Mother switched deeds on us! For pity's sake, Prin, I should be the bitter one! Do you think I actually WANTED to live in Toledo? My deed was to a 15 bedroom house in Hollywood!
Princeton: What did your mom switch deeds for?
Puddin': Oh, it was Father's idea to give Dumplin' the Toledo package, but everybody knows Dumplin' was Mother's favorite! (doorbell rings, Dumplin' bursts in. She looks exactly like Puddin', except for her black hair; Puddin' is a blonde.)
Dumplin': Well, well, well! If it isn't my *beloved* sister! Nice digs... (snickers) Yeah, right! Where'd you get this house, "Better Homes and Bus Stations"? (looks at Princeton) And, who's this perfectly homely little speck?
Puddin': This is my co-worker, Princeton Clarkson.
Dumplin': Oh, Puddin', don't tell me you're still teaching penguins how to tap dance! Go right on lame, make a left on pathetic! Oh, well, we can't all be CEO's like yours truly. So, anyway, what slop chute are we going to for dinner?
Puddin': How about The Turquoise Parrot? Princeton... (Princeton steps on her foot)
Princeton (finishes her sentence): ...gets great deals there! But, you don't wanna got there! Why not try something a little more formal?
Dumplin' (starts looking through restaurant guide): How about Rembrandt's? That sounds pretty ding-dang formal to me!
Puddin': Rembrandt's it is!
Commercial Break
Open on Rembrandt's, the flashiest, trashiest nightclub in Toledo. Princeton, Puddin', and Dumplin' all sit at the bar.
Puddin': "Formal"? Does this look formal to you, Dumplin'?
Dumplin': Are you kidding? I feel right at home here; Hollywood is FULL of places like this!
Puddin': Well, all the same, I don't like this place AT ALL!
Princeton: Oh, Puddin', it's really not that bad; plus, look at the bartender, he looks friendly enough. (Max (bartender) comes up to them)
Max: So, what'll it be tonight, ladies? Bed jacket, negligee, dog tags?
Dumplin': Do you eevn know where you are?
Max: Sure, I'm in Korea, bucking for a Section 8 by dressing in women's clothing.
Dumplin': Sorry, pal, you're in Toledo.
Max: I made it? I'm in Toledo! Wow! Where's Laverne?
Dumplin': Buddy, that's a whole other show.
Puddin': I think I'll take this opportunity to powder my nose. (leaves)
Dumplin': With what, Ajax? Haha! Oh, good, she's gone. Anyway, Harvard, I may act like I don't like Puddin', but she IS my sister. And don't think that I'm buying all this "co-worker" nonsense; you're her steady, and I DON'T approve! Nobody dates my sister without MY permission! (sees Puddin') Oh, Puddin', there you are.
Puddin': Hi guys, what'd I miss?
Princeton: Oh, just the decision that Dumplin's leaving Toledo TOMORROW.
Commercial Break
Open on Puddin's house. Dumplin' is begging Puddin' to let her stay, but Puddin' will hear none of it.
Dumplin': But what'd I do wrong? You two ARE dating, aren't you?
Puddin': No, Dumplin', he's only my co-worker AND my best friend.
Dumplin': Oh, Puddin', I'm sorry. I thought for sure...
Puddin': Just get out.
Dumplin': I can do that too. Goodbye, Puddin'. (runs in to Princeton and leaves)
Princeton (comes in house): So, I see that your houseguest is gracing us with her absence?
Puddin': Yep. How about we go back to Rembrandt's?
Princeton: How about we go to a place Max from Rembrandt's recommended?
Puddin': I guess so; what's it called?
Princeton: Tony Paco's; I think we both could do with a foot-long Hungarian hot dog.
Puddin': Yeah, with chili peppers!
Princeton: How'd you know that?
Puddin': Buddy, that's a whole other show.
The End
Airdate: 4-12-06
Written and Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin' and Dumplin'
Jamie Farr as Max
Open on Puddin's house. She and Princeton are franticly rearranging the house; Puddin's twin sister, Dumplin', is comin to Toledo for a visit.
Princeton: Puddin', really, your house looks FINE! Dumplin' won't care what it looks like; seeing you's all that'll matter.
Puddin': Well then, you OBVIOUSLY don't know Dumplin' Parker! She's very judgemental about my life, ever since Mother switched deeds on us! For pity's sake, Prin, I should be the bitter one! Do you think I actually WANTED to live in Toledo? My deed was to a 15 bedroom house in Hollywood!
Princeton: What did your mom switch deeds for?
Puddin': Oh, it was Father's idea to give Dumplin' the Toledo package, but everybody knows Dumplin' was Mother's favorite! (doorbell rings, Dumplin' bursts in. She looks exactly like Puddin', except for her black hair; Puddin' is a blonde.)
Dumplin': Well, well, well! If it isn't my *beloved* sister! Nice digs... (snickers) Yeah, right! Where'd you get this house, "Better Homes and Bus Stations"? (looks at Princeton) And, who's this perfectly homely little speck?
Puddin': This is my co-worker, Princeton Clarkson.
Dumplin': Oh, Puddin', don't tell me you're still teaching penguins how to tap dance! Go right on lame, make a left on pathetic! Oh, well, we can't all be CEO's like yours truly. So, anyway, what slop chute are we going to for dinner?
Puddin': How about The Turquoise Parrot? Princeton... (Princeton steps on her foot)
Princeton (finishes her sentence): ...gets great deals there! But, you don't wanna got there! Why not try something a little more formal?
Dumplin' (starts looking through restaurant guide): How about Rembrandt's? That sounds pretty ding-dang formal to me!
Puddin': Rembrandt's it is!
Commercial Break
Open on Rembrandt's, the flashiest, trashiest nightclub in Toledo. Princeton, Puddin', and Dumplin' all sit at the bar.
Puddin': "Formal"? Does this look formal to you, Dumplin'?
Dumplin': Are you kidding? I feel right at home here; Hollywood is FULL of places like this!
Puddin': Well, all the same, I don't like this place AT ALL!
Princeton: Oh, Puddin', it's really not that bad; plus, look at the bartender, he looks friendly enough. (Max (bartender) comes up to them)
Max: So, what'll it be tonight, ladies? Bed jacket, negligee, dog tags?
Dumplin': Do you eevn know where you are?
Max: Sure, I'm in Korea, bucking for a Section 8 by dressing in women's clothing.
Dumplin': Sorry, pal, you're in Toledo.
Max: I made it? I'm in Toledo! Wow! Where's Laverne?
Dumplin': Buddy, that's a whole other show.
Puddin': I think I'll take this opportunity to powder my nose. (leaves)
Dumplin': With what, Ajax? Haha! Oh, good, she's gone. Anyway, Harvard, I may act like I don't like Puddin', but she IS my sister. And don't think that I'm buying all this "co-worker" nonsense; you're her steady, and I DON'T approve! Nobody dates my sister without MY permission! (sees Puddin') Oh, Puddin', there you are.
Puddin': Hi guys, what'd I miss?
Princeton: Oh, just the decision that Dumplin's leaving Toledo TOMORROW.
Commercial Break
Open on Puddin's house. Dumplin' is begging Puddin' to let her stay, but Puddin' will hear none of it.
Dumplin': But what'd I do wrong? You two ARE dating, aren't you?
Puddin': No, Dumplin', he's only my co-worker AND my best friend.
Dumplin': Oh, Puddin', I'm sorry. I thought for sure...
Puddin': Just get out.
Dumplin': I can do that too. Goodbye, Puddin'. (runs in to Princeton and leaves)
Princeton (comes in house): So, I see that your houseguest is gracing us with her absence?
Puddin': Yep. How about we go back to Rembrandt's?
Princeton: How about we go to a place Max from Rembrandt's recommended?
Puddin': I guess so; what's it called?
Princeton: Tony Paco's; I think we both could do with a foot-long Hungarian hot dog.
Puddin': Yeah, with chili peppers!
Princeton: How'd you know that?
Puddin': Buddy, that's a whole other show.
The End
