Princeton
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No Day But Today- Episode 31
Airdate: 12-1-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
Amanda Seyfried as Madison
Jerry Stiller as the voice of Mr. Gus
Open on Puddin’s house. She is just about to enjoy a quiet evening at home when the doorbell rings. She opens it to find Princeton and Madison standing on her doorstep.
Puddin’: Prin! Mad! What a surprise! I didn’t expect you home from your date night *this* early, Mad!
Wait a minute, why do you two look so happy?
Princeton: Ah, yes, about that. Puddin’, you may wanna sit down for this.
Puddin’: Prin, do understand that I have a corn on my foot the size of Baltimore; don’t think for a minute that I would willingly want to stand right now. (sits down)
Madison (to Princeton): Why couldn’t she have just sat down and been done with it?
Puddin’: Mad darling, the corn is on my *foot*, not my eardrums. Anyway, what do you want to tell me?
Princeton: Puddin’, tonight I asked Madison if she’d marry me, and … well, she said “yes”.
Commercial Break
Puddin’: I’m sorry, I could have sworn you said that you two are … getting married? Please tell me that this is some awful dream, although I know it’s *not* a dream since there are no boy dancers.
Madison: My word, Puddin’, I thought you’d be happy for us! I mean, granted, I’m not even your real daughter, but *still* you should be happy!
Puddin’: Mad, please understand that I have not lead a choirgirl’s life. I’ve lost my mother, I’ve lost my high school sweetheart… Mad, I don’t need the loss of a foster daughter to complete the “Puddin’ Parker Trinity of Losses”.
Madison: Well, until you find it in your crusty black heart to show a little joy for us, I think I’ll spend the night at Princeton’s.
Puddin’: Marvelous idea, Mad, just marvelous! I mean, after all, you *will* be living with him. No time like the present to familiarize yourself with his uncleanly living habits!
Madison: Oh, for God’s sakes, Puddin’, this was meant to be good news, but with you, *nothing* is good! Let’s go, Prin!
Commercial Break
Open on Puddin’s front porch. Madison and Princeton are about to see if Puddin’s at home.
Madison: Do you think she’ll be back to her senses now?
Princeton: Well, I would certainly *hope* so! I’d say three weeks gave her plenty of time! (knocks on door, Mr. Gus opens it)
Mr. Gus: Hey, kids. Never got a chance to congratulate you.
Madison: Aw, thank you, Gus! Say, is now a good time to talk to Puddin?
Mr. Gus: Boy, is it ever! You two sure picked a good day to visit, come on in. (they walk in and see Puddin’ laying on the sofa)
Puddin’: Well, if it isn’t Pradison, the newly engaged couple who are fitting to send me to an early grave.
Mr. Gus: She hasn’t eaten, slept, or bathed since she heard the news.
Princeton: I was wondering what that smell was.
Puddin’: That’s Parker funk, my boy! Nothing like it in the world!
Madison: Puddin’, I knew you’d react badly to all this, but I never expected you to get sick over it.
Puddin’: “Sick”? Why, I’ve never felt better!
Madison: Come on, I’ll make you some nice mac and cheese.
Puddin’: Oh, how sweet of you, Mad, but I have no appetite.
Princeton (to Madison): Watch this. (to Puddin’) Puddin’, we’ve decided to make you our official wedding planner; minus the big butt, of course.
Puddin’: Did somebody say “Velveeta”?
The End
Airdate: 12-1-06
Written & Created by Princeton
Starring: Princeton as Himself
Redboobergurl as Puddin’
Amanda Seyfried as Madison
Jerry Stiller as the voice of Mr. Gus
Open on Puddin’s house. She is just about to enjoy a quiet evening at home when the doorbell rings. She opens it to find Princeton and Madison standing on her doorstep.
Puddin’: Prin! Mad! What a surprise! I didn’t expect you home from your date night *this* early, Mad!
Wait a minute, why do you two look so happy?
Princeton: Ah, yes, about that. Puddin’, you may wanna sit down for this.
Puddin’: Prin, do understand that I have a corn on my foot the size of Baltimore; don’t think for a minute that I would willingly want to stand right now. (sits down)
Madison (to Princeton): Why couldn’t she have just sat down and been done with it?
Puddin’: Mad darling, the corn is on my *foot*, not my eardrums. Anyway, what do you want to tell me?
Princeton: Puddin’, tonight I asked Madison if she’d marry me, and … well, she said “yes”.
Commercial Break
Puddin’: I’m sorry, I could have sworn you said that you two are … getting married? Please tell me that this is some awful dream, although I know it’s *not* a dream since there are no boy dancers.
Madison: My word, Puddin’, I thought you’d be happy for us! I mean, granted, I’m not even your real daughter, but *still* you should be happy!
Puddin’: Mad, please understand that I have not lead a choirgirl’s life. I’ve lost my mother, I’ve lost my high school sweetheart… Mad, I don’t need the loss of a foster daughter to complete the “Puddin’ Parker Trinity of Losses”.
Madison: Well, until you find it in your crusty black heart to show a little joy for us, I think I’ll spend the night at Princeton’s.
Puddin’: Marvelous idea, Mad, just marvelous! I mean, after all, you *will* be living with him. No time like the present to familiarize yourself with his uncleanly living habits!
Madison: Oh, for God’s sakes, Puddin’, this was meant to be good news, but with you, *nothing* is good! Let’s go, Prin!
Commercial Break
Open on Puddin’s front porch. Madison and Princeton are about to see if Puddin’s at home.
Madison: Do you think she’ll be back to her senses now?
Princeton: Well, I would certainly *hope* so! I’d say three weeks gave her plenty of time! (knocks on door, Mr. Gus opens it)
Mr. Gus: Hey, kids. Never got a chance to congratulate you.
Madison: Aw, thank you, Gus! Say, is now a good time to talk to Puddin?
Mr. Gus: Boy, is it ever! You two sure picked a good day to visit, come on in. (they walk in and see Puddin’ laying on the sofa)
Puddin’: Well, if it isn’t Pradison, the newly engaged couple who are fitting to send me to an early grave.
Mr. Gus: She hasn’t eaten, slept, or bathed since she heard the news.
Princeton: I was wondering what that smell was.
Puddin’: That’s Parker funk, my boy! Nothing like it in the world!
Madison: Puddin’, I knew you’d react badly to all this, but I never expected you to get sick over it.
Puddin’: “Sick”? Why, I’ve never felt better!
Madison: Come on, I’ll make you some nice mac and cheese.
Puddin’: Oh, how sweet of you, Mad, but I have no appetite.
Princeton (to Madison): Watch this. (to Puddin’) Puddin’, we’ve decided to make you our official wedding planner; minus the big butt, of course.
Puddin’: Did somebody say “Velveeta”?
The End