Muppet Show Scene Outline

[Dil]

(This would have been better.)

(This would take place in the Diana Ross episode.)

KERMIT: "Ladies and Gentlemen, ooh! I'm Verrrrrrrry excited about this, because here she is, our very very very special guest, the one and only, the very fantastic, Mis--"

SAM: "Kermit."

KERMIT: "Grr! HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPTED MY VERY EXCITING INTRODUCTIOOOONNNN!!"

SAM: "Let me get this straight. You, sir, are just one screaming appaling, barely normal, very exciting... host! Why can't you act like a normal host?"

KERMIT: "Sam, I can't help it. Diana Ross onstage is outstanding! She's out of sight!"

SAM: "And you've got to act normally and calm. You've kind of acted normally and calm during the first year of this very show. Relax... it's not the end of the world... Frog."

(Sam leaves.)

KERMIT: "Alright, if you say so. (faces the audience) Uh, I should need to take a deep breath, and calm down... (takes a deep breath) Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Diana Ross."

(The number Diana would do would be "Love Hanger".)

(After this number, the same comment by S & W, but a different backstage scene.)

KERMIT: "OK, nice number, Miss Ross."

(Fletcherbird is with Diana.)

DIANA: "Thank you, Kermit."

SAM: "What is that bird named?"

DIANA: "Oh, that multi-colored bird? I don't think he has a name."

SAM: "Why not?"

DIANA: "He can't talk. He's just a non-speaking Bird Dancer. Right?"

(Fletcherbird nods.)

What do you think?

 

[Dil]

Will Someone Answer Me??

 

[Gorgon Heap]

Will Someone Answer Me??

Ever heard of the word 'patience'?

I don't find this scene in keeping with Kermit's character. Kermit never screamed at people for interrupting his introductions, nor did he ever boast about how exciting his introductions were, nor did he ever get that carried away about a guest star's talent- only other Muppets allowed themselves to get that crazy. Kermit is one of the calmest Muppets on TMS, on the whole.

And why does Sam interrupt Kermit in the first place? They go off on a tangent about Sam interrupting Kermit's intro but it never surfaces why Sam went out there to begin with.

As to the backstage scene, why would Kermit ask Diana the bird's name if the bird works there and Diana is just a guest? Wouldn't the guest normally ask the boss the employee's name and not the other way around? Also, for someone to use the words 'non-speaking bird dancer' in a sentence strikes me as very awkward.

That's my two cents. I don't think it works.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[Barry Lee]

Yeah Dil, you should really be patient because it aggrivates people and makes people not want to reply to it. But, I agree with Gorgon, I prefer the original scene better.

 

[Dil]

Yes, I've heard of the word "patience". I did it because no one was answering me, yet.

I posted what it could've been, because of this...
Kermit had excitement & arm-wavings on all of his introductions in this episode.

Here's what would be BETTER in the backstage scene:

KERMIT: "OK, nice number, Diana."

DIANA: Thank you, Kermit."

(We would now see FletcherBird backstage feeling a bit angry.)

FLETCHER: "Miss Ross?"

DIANA: "Uh, yes?"

FLETCHER: "You sang all of the lyrics in this number, and I haven't a single chance to sing it!"

DIANA: "Gulp!"

(Fletcher growls and chases Diana.)

What do you think?

 

[Gorgon Heap]

Yes, I've heard of the word "patience". I did it because no one was answering me, yet.

Well, sometimes it takes more than 5 1/2 hours to get a response. Especially when there are only one or two registered members in the forum at a given time. Sometimes it takes more than a day. Sometimes it takes a few days. Point is, sit back and relax, and don't take it personally if it takes a while before you get a response.

KERMIT: "OK, nice number, Diana."

DIANA: Thank you, Kermit."

(We would now see FletcherBird backstage feeling a bit angry.)

FLETCHER: "Miss Ross?"

DIANA: "Uh, yes?"

FLETCHER: "You sang all of the lyrics in this number, and I haven't a single chance to sing it!"

DIANA: "Gulp!"

(Fletcher growls and chases Diana.)

What do you think?

This one is better than your first one. One small suggestion: I'd tinker with the wording of Fletcher's line, something like "I was supposed to have a solo in that last number!" or "Miss Ross, you stepped on my solo again!" "You sang all the lyrics" is a bit odd in terms of wording. Usually one would say "you sang the whole/entire song". You were implying that Fletcher was supposed to sing part of the song and Diana didn't let him, correct? That's what's coming across to me but it's only my assumption as it's still a little bit unclear.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[Dil]

Alright then.

That would have been good, if they had this backstage scene in that episode.
But for real, Fletcherbird didn't speak anywhere but in the Liberace episode of The Muppet Show.

 

[Dil]

Perhaps this could be better:

CURTAIN
(After Fozzie's bit in the Diana Ross episode, Fozzie would come back to introduce a better act.)

FOZZIE: "Uh, thank you. Um, do you like the Guest Star?"

CROWD: "YES!!"

FOZZIE: "Do any of you like the Muppets?"

CROWD: "NO!!"

FOZZIE: "Alrighty then. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I, good ol' Fozzie Bear, am proud to introduce our very super duper extra special guest star. Please have let your souls pay attention to her, the diva of Soul music, here she is, Miss Dye Ross!"

BACKSTAGE

KERMIT: "OK, very good, Diana.-- How come the Muppets didn't get a '10'?"

DIANA: "Oh, don't worry, Kermit. There were Muppets on that last number I did."

(Diana & Kermit see Fletcherbird backstage feeling a bit angry.)

FLETCHERBIRD: "Miss Ross, haven't you stepped on my solo?"

DIANA: "Uh, yeah."

KERMIT: "You're supposed to just dance to that number, Fletcherbird. What if the crowd booed at you while you were singing and Diana just dancing?"

FLETCHERBIRD: "Uh..."

LINK: "Yeah, Mr. Giant Bird. How come you're always seen onstage WITH a guest star?"

FLETCHERBIRD: "Uh, I was hired to dance with.. uh, Leo Sayer, Liberace, uh... Lola Falana... and I haven't sung along with them! I've always wanted to do a song myself, right?"

(Diana walks to the dressing room.)

DIANA: "No."

(After Diana gets in her dressing room, Fletcherbird growls and runs to Diana's dressing room to chase her.)

KERMIT: "Fozzie?"

FOZZIE: "Yes, Kermit?"

KERMIT: "Let me get this straight. I'M the one to introduce Diana, not you! In fact, while you were introducing, you didn't even wave your arms and go 'YAAAAYYYY!'"

FOZZIE: "You know, I was thinking you need a break from your arm-wavings. I never get tired of the arm-wavings."

SAM: "I am sick of your arm-wavings... Froggy host."

KERMIT: "While I'm introducing an act on the show, I am usually full of energy."

SAM: "Ugh! Will this ever end?"

LINK: "Hmmm... boy, o boy, o boy. The audience is hating everything but Diana Ross."

KERMIT: "Hmm, yeah. I think the Gills Brothers are onstage, but I doubt the audience will like them."

(Kermit goes onstage for the introduction to The Gills Brothers.)

What do you think?

 

[Dil]

Oops!
Or... How about this?

During the last verse of The LoveHanger number, a Witchdoctor would appear and curse Diana Ross.

WITCHDOCTOR: (to Diana) "I told you not to sing all of the lines in this number, so be prepared to be... cursed! cursed! cursed!"

(Diana's head turns into a fish head, then she sings the last lines.)

This would have been better, right?