Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends BookPartially inspired by a game of Helping Hands from Who's Line?
*Fade into Allistair Cookie's library*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Hello, and good eve-a-ning; me Allistair Cookie, and me welcome you to Monsterpiece Theater. Tonight, me proud to present to you quirky little comedy-drama called "The Dirty Dozen"... very ed-u-cay-shun-al stuff, here. And now, sit back and enjoy "The Dirty Dozen".
*Fade into a grocery store where Fat Blue is shopping*
FAT BLUE: Boy, oh boy, I finally got my pay check... now, I can buy some food to eat... now let's see... *Looks at shopping list* Carton of milk... *Looks in buggy* Check... *Looks at list* Loaf of bread... *Looks in buggy* Check... *Looks at list* Stick of butter... *Looks in buggy* Check, and now... a dozen eggs... *Looks in buggy* Check!
PA ANNOUNCER: Attention all Sesame Market shoppers, for your convenience, aisle one is now open for express check out; aisle one is now open for express check out. Thank you.
FAT BLUE: Oh, fantastic...
*Fat Blue pushes his buggy up to the express check out lane to check out*
GROVER: Good afternoon sir, I... *Sees it's Fat Blue* Oh, good afternoon sir! Nice to see you again!
FAT BLUE: Oh no... no! NO! Not YOU again! Why? ! Why is it YOU work at every place I go? !
GROVER: Hmm... that is a toughie... but I have a more pertenent question.
FAT BLUE: What's that?
GROVER: Why do YOU go every place I work?
FAT BLUE: Oh, brother... forget it... I'll just go through another line...
GROVER: I'm sorry sir, but this is the only line we have.
FAT BLUE: The only line? You mean to tell me this grocery store has only ONE check out line? !
GROVER: That is part of this store's charm, sir; why do we need other lines when we have only one person working here?
FAT BLUE: YOU are the ONLY person who works here? !
GROVER: Yes sir, welcome to Grover's Groceries! I am your manager, janitor, stock boy, check-out clerk, customer service representative, AND the loyal bag boy.
FAT BLUE: *Sarcastically* Boy, you must have riotous Christmas parties...
GROVER: *Laughs* Good one, sir! I will have to remember that one... now, let us get you checked out, shall we? *Grabs the stick of butter* What is this?
FAT BLUE: What do you mean what is it? It's a stick of butter!
GROVER: I do not think so sir... look at this picture... *Shows Fat Blue the pictoral inventory list* See there? A stick of butter is a lovely shade of yellow...
FAT BLUE: Yeah...
GROVER: THIS stick is a rather dull shade of gray...
FAT BLUE: That's the WRAPPER! The stick of butter is INSIDE the wrapper!
GROVER: Oh go on! How can that be? I will check... *Opens the wrapper* Well, what do you know, it IS yellow alright... *Sniffs it* Smells like butter... *Licks it* TASTES like butter too! Then this MUST be a stick of butter!
FAT BLUE: Hey, now wait just a minute...!
GROVER: *Grabs the loaf of bread* Now what do you have here?
FAT BLUE: That's a loaf of bread!
GROVER: You sure? It doesn't look like a loaf of bread... lookie here... *Points to the picture of a loaf of bread on the pictoral inventory list* See there? THAT is a loaf of bread... see how it has golden brown crust, and soft white inside?
FAT BLUE: I know, but...
GROVER: THIS is shiney and yellow, it does not look like a loaf of bread to me!
FAT BLUE: That's the bag! The loaf of bread is inside!
GROVER: Oh, another inside job, huh? Let's see... *Rips open the bag* Well, what do you know, there IS a loaf of bread in here... but just to make sure... *Sniffs it* Yeah, smells like freshly-baked bread... *Grabs a slice and eats it* Mmm! Tastes like freshly-baked bread too! Oh, I bet this stick of butter would go nicely on this...
FAT BLUE: HEY!
GROVER: I am sorry sir, yes, let's continue... *Grabs the carton of milk* Now, you tell me what this is.
FAT BLUE: THAT IS A CARTON OF MILK!
GROVER: A carton of milk, huh? *Looks at pictoral inventory list* Well, milk is wet and white... THIS is white alright... but, it isn't wet, it's dry...
FAT BLUE: THAT'S JUST THE CARTON! THE MILK IS INSIDE!
GROVER: Is it now? *Opens the carton* Hey, sir you are right, there IS milk in here! Oh, after that slice of bread, I am kind of thirsty... *Drinks from the carton*
FAT BLUE: WHY YOU LITTLE...
GROVER: There is no need to shout sir, you will draw attention from all the other customers... now then... *Grabs the eggs*
FAT BLUE: Careful! Those are the eggs!
GROVER: Eggs? Oh, ha-ha-ha, very good sir, but I am one step ahead of you this time... see, I know that the eggs are INSIDE here... and I will just open the box and... *Opens* Hey... wait just a minute...
FAT BLUE: NOW what? !
GROVER: These are not eggs!
FAT BLUE: OF COURSE THEY ARE! ! !
GROVER: No, no, no... see, lookie here... *Points to pictoral inventory list* See there? THOSE are eggs... kind of oval-shaped and white? THESE are oval-shaped, but they are BROWN, they are NOT white...
FAT BLUE: They're SUPPOSED to be BROWN! I PREFER BROWN EGGS TO WHITE EGGS!
GROVER: BROWN eggs? ! *Counts the eggs*
FAT BLUE: NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING? !
GROVER: And you have twelve of them... twelve brown eggs... you realize what this means, sir?
FAT BLUE: WHAT? !
GROVER: That means that you sir, have a DIRTY dozen!
FAT BLUE: *Moans and faints*
GROVER: *Looks at groceries* Hmm... uh sir? Is it alright if I help myself to some scrambled eggs, and buttered toast?
*Fade into Allistair Cookie's library*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: And so end "The Dirty Dozen"...
*The green and lavendar AM walk past Cookie, dressed in medical uniforms, and carrying a stretcher; seconds later, they walk back in their original direction, with Fat Blue, moaning, on the stretcher*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Boy, that blue man really class act... he even convinced the paramedics! *Laughs* Well, that all the time we have tonight, this Allistair Cookie saying goodnight from Monsterpiece Theater.
*Fade into Allistair Cookie's library*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Hello, and good eve-a-ning; me Allistair Cookie, and me welcome you to Monsterpiece Theater. Tonight, me proud to present to you quirky little comedy-drama called "The Dirty Dozen"... very ed-u-cay-shun-al stuff, here. And now, sit back and enjoy "The Dirty Dozen".
*Fade into a grocery store where Fat Blue is shopping*
FAT BLUE: Boy, oh boy, I finally got my pay check... now, I can buy some food to eat... now let's see... *Looks at shopping list* Carton of milk... *Looks in buggy* Check... *Looks at list* Loaf of bread... *Looks in buggy* Check... *Looks at list* Stick of butter... *Looks in buggy* Check, and now... a dozen eggs... *Looks in buggy* Check!
PA ANNOUNCER: Attention all Sesame Market shoppers, for your convenience, aisle one is now open for express check out; aisle one is now open for express check out. Thank you.
FAT BLUE: Oh, fantastic...
*Fat Blue pushes his buggy up to the express check out lane to check out*
GROVER: Good afternoon sir, I... *Sees it's Fat Blue* Oh, good afternoon sir! Nice to see you again!
FAT BLUE: Oh no... no! NO! Not YOU again! Why? ! Why is it YOU work at every place I go? !
GROVER: Hmm... that is a toughie... but I have a more pertenent question.
FAT BLUE: What's that?
GROVER: Why do YOU go every place I work?
FAT BLUE: Oh, brother... forget it... I'll just go through another line...
GROVER: I'm sorry sir, but this is the only line we have.
FAT BLUE: The only line? You mean to tell me this grocery store has only ONE check out line? !
GROVER: That is part of this store's charm, sir; why do we need other lines when we have only one person working here?
FAT BLUE: YOU are the ONLY person who works here? !
GROVER: Yes sir, welcome to Grover's Groceries! I am your manager, janitor, stock boy, check-out clerk, customer service representative, AND the loyal bag boy.
FAT BLUE: *Sarcastically* Boy, you must have riotous Christmas parties...
GROVER: *Laughs* Good one, sir! I will have to remember that one... now, let us get you checked out, shall we? *Grabs the stick of butter* What is this?
FAT BLUE: What do you mean what is it? It's a stick of butter!
GROVER: I do not think so sir... look at this picture... *Shows Fat Blue the pictoral inventory list* See there? A stick of butter is a lovely shade of yellow...
FAT BLUE: Yeah...
GROVER: THIS stick is a rather dull shade of gray...
FAT BLUE: That's the WRAPPER! The stick of butter is INSIDE the wrapper!
GROVER: Oh go on! How can that be? I will check... *Opens the wrapper* Well, what do you know, it IS yellow alright... *Sniffs it* Smells like butter... *Licks it* TASTES like butter too! Then this MUST be a stick of butter!
FAT BLUE: Hey, now wait just a minute...!
GROVER: *Grabs the loaf of bread* Now what do you have here?
FAT BLUE: That's a loaf of bread!
GROVER: You sure? It doesn't look like a loaf of bread... lookie here... *Points to the picture of a loaf of bread on the pictoral inventory list* See there? THAT is a loaf of bread... see how it has golden brown crust, and soft white inside?
FAT BLUE: I know, but...
GROVER: THIS is shiney and yellow, it does not look like a loaf of bread to me!
FAT BLUE: That's the bag! The loaf of bread is inside!
GROVER: Oh, another inside job, huh? Let's see... *Rips open the bag* Well, what do you know, there IS a loaf of bread in here... but just to make sure... *Sniffs it* Yeah, smells like freshly-baked bread... *Grabs a slice and eats it* Mmm! Tastes like freshly-baked bread too! Oh, I bet this stick of butter would go nicely on this...
FAT BLUE: HEY!
GROVER: I am sorry sir, yes, let's continue... *Grabs the carton of milk* Now, you tell me what this is.
FAT BLUE: THAT IS A CARTON OF MILK!
GROVER: A carton of milk, huh? *Looks at pictoral inventory list* Well, milk is wet and white... THIS is white alright... but, it isn't wet, it's dry...
FAT BLUE: THAT'S JUST THE CARTON! THE MILK IS INSIDE!
GROVER: Is it now? *Opens the carton* Hey, sir you are right, there IS milk in here! Oh, after that slice of bread, I am kind of thirsty... *Drinks from the carton*
FAT BLUE: WHY YOU LITTLE...
GROVER: There is no need to shout sir, you will draw attention from all the other customers... now then... *Grabs the eggs*
FAT BLUE: Careful! Those are the eggs!
GROVER: Eggs? Oh, ha-ha-ha, very good sir, but I am one step ahead of you this time... see, I know that the eggs are INSIDE here... and I will just open the box and... *Opens* Hey... wait just a minute...
FAT BLUE: NOW what? !
GROVER: These are not eggs!
FAT BLUE: OF COURSE THEY ARE! ! !
GROVER: No, no, no... see, lookie here... *Points to pictoral inventory list* See there? THOSE are eggs... kind of oval-shaped and white? THESE are oval-shaped, but they are BROWN, they are NOT white...
FAT BLUE: They're SUPPOSED to be BROWN! I PREFER BROWN EGGS TO WHITE EGGS!
GROVER: BROWN eggs? ! *Counts the eggs*
FAT BLUE: NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING? !
GROVER: And you have twelve of them... twelve brown eggs... you realize what this means, sir?
FAT BLUE: WHAT? !
GROVER: That means that you sir, have a DIRTY dozen!
FAT BLUE: *Moans and faints*
GROVER: *Looks at groceries* Hmm... uh sir? Is it alright if I help myself to some scrambled eggs, and buttered toast?
*Fade into Allistair Cookie's library*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: And so end "The Dirty Dozen"...
*The green and lavendar AM walk past Cookie, dressed in medical uniforms, and carrying a stretcher; seconds later, they walk back in their original direction, with Fat Blue, moaning, on the stretcher*
ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Boy, that blue man really class act... he even convinced the paramedics! *Laughs* Well, that all the time we have tonight, this Allistair Cookie saying goodnight from Monsterpiece Theater.
