Monsterpiece Theater - B*A*T*H

[D'Snowth]

Yep, I'm starting up my old Monsterpiece Theater spoofs again...

*Fade into Allistair Cookie's library, where he sits in his chair, with a bath towel draped over his shoulders, and a scrub brush in his hand*

ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Oh, hullo there, Allistair Cookie here, welcoming you once again to Monsterpiece Theater... me s'pose you wondering why me have towel, and scrub brush? Well, me tell you! Me absolutely cannot watch tonight's soap opera without me scrub brush, and me big fluffy towel... it be like you watching movie without poppy-corn... go figure. And so, please sit back, relax, wash behind your ears so you can hear tonight's episode of... "B*A*T*H"

*Fade into Ernie and Bert's bathroom, where we find the bathtub is completely full of bubble bath, while Rubber Ducky sits on the edge of the tub. Slowly, Rubber Ducky turns his head, to observe the full of bubble bath, but he can't help but sense something is amiss.*

RUBBER DUCKY: Hark, I can't help but sense something is amiss...

*In bounces Beach Ball (from Elmo's World of Balls)*

BEACH BALL: What's wrong, Rubber Ducky?

RUBBER DUCKY: I can't help but sense something is amiss here...

BEACH BALL: Praytell, whatever do you mean?

RUBBER DUCKY: Well, take a look at the bathtub here... something seems to be missing.

BEACH BALL: Well, let's look at this logically... *Bounces into the water, causing a loud splash* Now then, what seems to be missing?

RUBBER DUCKY: Well, I'm not sure...

BEACH BALL: Then, let's take a look at what we have in the tub, shall we?

RUBBER DUCKY: What a great idea, Beach Ball!

BEACH BALL: Now let's see... as of right now, the tub is full of all of this clear, clean wet stuff... I believe it's called...

RUBBER DUCKY: Water! The clear, clean wet stuff is called water, it's what people take a bath in!

BEACH BALL: Right you are... and this... this soft, white, foamy stuff floating on top... I think they call this...

RUBBER DUCKY: Bubbles! The soft, white, foamy stuff floating on top is called bubbles, sometimes you can put it in your bath water to make bathtime a lot more fun!

BEACH BALL: *Blows air, causing some bubbles to fly everywhere* Yep, I'm having fun! What else?

SCRUB BRUSH: *Slides in* Don't forget me!

BEACH BALL: Oh yeah, that's... that's... what's his name... the skinny guy...

RUBBER DUCKY: That's Scrub Brush!

SCRUB BRUSH: Right, sometimes when people can't reach their backs with their hands and washclothes, they can use me to scrub their backs.

BEACH BALL: I can't reach anything, anyway.

SOAP: *Pops out of the soap dish* Am I late?

BEACH BALL: Oh, hi there uh... uh...

RUBBER DUCKY: Soap!

SOAP: You can't take a bath without me! Without me, you can't scrub yourself, and if you can't scrub yourself, you can't possibly clean yourself.

BEACH BALL: Very informative.

SHAMPOO BOTTLE: *Turns around to face group* I believe I'm next.

BEACH BALL: Who invited you?

RUBBER DUCKY: That's Shampoo!

SHAMPOO BOTTLE: Yep! Shampoo is like soap for your hair, so you can wash your hair while you take a bath!

*Just then, the closet door opens, revealing a washcloth, and a towel hanging from the railing on the inside of the door*

WASHCLOTH and TOWEL: Here we are!

BEACH BALL: Hey, I remember those guys!

RUBBER DUCKY: Washcloth and bath towel!

WASHCLOTH: Soap and I work together, using a little cooperation, to work up a fine lather for you to scrub yourself with, while you take a bath.

TOWEL: And once you're done taking your bath, I help dry you off, so you won't have to walk around dripping wet.

BEACH BALL: So let's see now... we've got water, bubbles, scrub brush, soap, shampoo, washcloth, and towel... that sounds like just about all you need to take a bath... so what could possibly be missing?

*Just then, Big Bird's teddy bear, Radar, runs in, wearing a wool cap and glasses*

RADAR: Attention everyone, attention!

RUBBER DUCKY: What is it, Radar?

RADAR: Incoming Ernie! Everyone resume the position! *Runs out*

RUBBER DUCKY: THAT'S what was missing!

EVERYONE: Ernie!

RUBBER DUCKY: Ernie has to get into the tub so he can take his bath, that's who was missing.

BEACH BALL: Not anymore...

*Just then, Ernie walks in wearing his bathrobe, and humming "Rubber Ducky", as all of the bath products resume their original inanimate form; Ernie picks up his beloved ducky*

ERNIE: Well Rubber Ducky, it's bathtime!

RUBBER DUCKY: *Squeaks*

ERNIE: What's that Rubber Ducky?

RUBBER DUCKY: *Squeaks*

ERNIE: What? Radar was here? What was Radar doing here?

RUBBER DUCKY: *Squeaks*

ERNIE: Oh Rubber Ducky, you're such a quack-up! *Laughs*

RUBBER DUCKY: *Squeaks*

*Fade into Allistair Cookie's library, where Cookie sits, wiping his eyes with his towel*

ALLISTAIR COOKIE: *Wails* Ohhh... that get me EVERYTIME! *Blows nose* Me so glad Ernie come to save da day! *Regains composure* Well now...

RADAR: *Slides in* That all the time we have today, this is Allistair Cookie saying buh-bye from Monsterpiece Theater.

ALLISTAIR COOKIE: That all the time we have today, this is Allistair Cookie saying... whoa-whoa-whoa, how you know what me going to say?

RADAR: That's why Big Bird calls me Radar. And they call you Cookie Monster because you love cookies.

ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Well, they call me Cookie Monster because me... hey, stop that!

RADAR: Sorry.

ALLISTAIR COOKIE: Oh well. *Waves at camera* Buh-bye!

RADAR: Buh-bye!

 

[ISNorden]

Awesome work as usual, Snowthy: having Radar the teddy bear come in and act like his M*A*S*H namesake was a touch of genius.

 

[D'Snowth]

Now I'm being spoiled, lol.