Monster Circus

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 1

Sweetums, Thog, and Timmy were all at the minature golf corse, playing golf, of course.

"Okay, I've just gotta swing this to make one point", said Thog, who hit the ball, but sliped to his side and fell onto a windmill, breaking it.

"Oh, no, you idiot!", said Timmy, "You broke the windmill!"

"Well, at least I got a hole in one", said Thog.

"Well, it's my turn", said Sweetums.

"No, it's not", said Timmy, "It's my turn".

So Timmy went to make a hit, bu he hit so hard that the ball went through the air and broke a window.

"Oops!", said Timmy.

"Well, it's my turn now", said Sweetums, who took his club and swang it.. only for the club to slip out of his hands after hitting the ball.

The ball went a little too high and hit some platforms, and kept bouncing from platform to building to other places in the golf corse, breaking them. Meanwhile, the club fell and landed on the golf corse owner.

"AAAAAAHHHHH", screamed the annoyed owner, "You three owe me six hundred dollars!"

"But we don't have any pockets", said Timmy.

"I do", said Sweetums, "But I ain't got any money".

"Well, pay me by the end of the month, or else I will press charages", said the owner, "I know where you three fatheads live!

They ran out of the minature golf course, and accidently ran into a man dressed as a ringmaster. He was dresed as a ringmaster because he was a ringmaster.

"Hey, I heard that man yelling at you", said the ringmaster.

"Yeah, we accidently damaged the golf course", said Sweetums.

"And now we've got a month to pay for damages", said Thog.

"You watch your language", said Timmy.

The ringmaster then had a thought. "You know, I've been trying to figure out something spectacular to have at my next circus, and I'm starting to think that maybe my next circus should be a monster circus."

"Really?", said the three monsters.

"Yes, how would you all like to be in the circus?", asked the ringmaster.

"Oh, I've always wanted to be in a real circus", said Thog.

"Wait 'till I tell my dinner", said Timmy.

"Well, you can count on me", said Sweetums.

"God", said the ringmaster, "And ask all your monster buddies to be part of the circus".

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

So many of the Muppet monsters got ready for the circus.

"Boy, I am so excited about performing again", said Mo Frackle, "I haven't gotten a gig since I appeared on Family Feud".

"And I can't remember the last time I've performed", said Mean Mama.

"The fact that The Muppet Show is having a four-month break makes this circus thing worthwhile", said Gorgon Heap.

"Just as long as I don't have to play 'cute'", said Angel Marie.

"Hey, everybody", said Sweetums, "The show's starting!"

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's the Monster Circus", said the announcer, "And now, here's the skaters!"

The Mutations came out on rollerskates while wearing clown costumes. The audience cheered.

Statler and Waldorf were in the audience.

"I miss The Muppet Show", said Statler.

"I don't know", said Waldorf, "The Muppet Show is a bit scarrier".

Sweetums then rode out on stage, riding a unicycle and juggling bowling balls. He was followed by Timmy riding a unicycle and juggling bowling pins. Sweetums and Timmy then jumped off their unicycles and threw their bowling balls and pins up into the air, and they all landed in Gorgon Heaps mouth.

"Amazing!", said Statler.

"You actually liked that?", asked Waldorf.

"No, I mean I found a winning scratch-off ticket on the floor!"

Thog then climbed up a high ladder and walked on the tight rope.

"Oh, I am so scarred", said Thog.

Thog walked on the rope, but his weight caused the rope to go all the way down to the floor. The ringmaster then ran up to Thog.

"Thog, you idiot!", yelled the ringmaster, "You are too heavy to walk across any tightrope! Get off the stage, you big oaf!"

"Okay", said Thog, who walked off, but unfortunately, the ringmaster had his legs spread over the rope, and he was sent flying to the ceilling.

"Oh, I'm stuck on the ceilling", moaned the ringmaster, "So I will introduce the next act from up here. Ladies and gentlemen, here is Carl, the big mean clown!"

"Thank you, thank you", said Carl, "A funny thing happened to me on the way to the circus. I ate spinach!"

The audience was quiet.

"Mommy, I don't like that clown", said a child.

"I heard that", said Carl, who ran to the audience and ate the child.

"What are you doing to my child?", asked the mother.

Carl finished the child, and then ate the mother.

Angel Marie then came on-stage with a cannon, and Gorgon Heap got in front of it.

"And now, I will shoot cannonballs, and Gorgon heap will catch them with his mouth!", said Angel Marie.

Gorgon got in front of the cannon, and sure enough, he caught all of the cannonballs with his mouth.

"Those were delicious", said Gorogn, who then ate the cannon.

The ringmaster had gotten down from the ceilling.

"hey, doofus", said the ringmaster, "You just ate the cannon. We neded that cannon for later!"

"Oh, well, I can go to the hardware store and buy another one", said Gorgon Heap, who then suddenly blew up.

The ringmaster then turned to the audience.

"Anyway, here is the amazing fire eater", said the ringmaster.

Mean Mama came on-stage, eating a torch of fire.

"Hey, that was false advertising!", yelled Statler.

"Why?", asked Mean Mama.

"You were supposed to eat fire, not the torch!", yelled Statler.

Then, Mo and Boppity did a trampeeze act. They got on trampeezes on opposite ends, and let go and caught the other trampeezes. They were a success. But then, Boppity caught onto Mo's legs, and the trampeeze then stopped swinging.

"Oh, no!", cried Boppity.

"We're stuck!", cried Mo.

"Well, just stay there until the end of the show", said the ringmaster, "And now, it's time for the high-diving act".

Sweetums climbed up to the diving board, and he was about to jump into a pool full of water, but then Beautiful Day Monster showed up.

"Hey, I was supposed to do the high-diving act!", said Beautiful Day Monster.
"No, I was!", yelled Sweetums.

"No, I was", said Beautiful Day Monster.

"No, I was", yeled Sweetums.

But then Luncheon Counter Monster got to the bottom of the ladder, ate part of it, and the diving board fell apart.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

Next, one of the Mutations was about to jump through three hoops of fire while on a motorcycle. The Mutation was on his motorcycle, on a ramp, and was ready to jump... But then the tires broke before he could get off the ramp, and he fell down.

"And now, here's the amazing balloon eater!", said the ringmaster.
Doglion came on-stage, eating unblown balloons.
"These are mighty tatsy", said Doglion.

"Excuse me", said Thog, "But shouldn't you blow them up first?"

"I would", said Doglion, "But I am not good at blowing up balloons."

"Oh, I'll help you", said thog, who took one balloon... And then ate it.

"You were supposed to blow it up, dummy!", yeleld Doglion.

"Heh heh heh, I was only kidding", said Thog, who then took a balloon and blew it up. He blew a really big balloon.

"Be carful, it might pop!", said Doglion.

But the balloon slipped out of Thog's hand, and flew all over the circus until it fell into the rignmasters mouth, right down his throat.

"Now I'm gonna sound funny", said the rignmaster, who spoke with a helium-filed voice.

"And now, here is Timmy Monster, who will balance on a rubber ball!", said Sweetums.

Timmy got on stage and got a big, rubber ball. He put itdown, and then he stood on it... And then it popped.

The ringmaster's vocie was back to normal, so he introduced the big finale.

"And now, the human... errrrr, monster cannonbal!"

"I thought it was cannibal", whispered Waldorf.

Mo got behind the cannon, and Gloat got in the cannon.

"I shall now be shot from the cannon", said Gloat.

"One, two, three, fire!", said Mo, who lit the rope. However, instead of sending Gloat flying out, the cannon shot backwards, and sent Mo out of the circus. However, the crowd cheered.

Later the ringmaster and all of the monsters went to a local bar.

"I'll have three beers", said Swetums, who took the three beer bottles and ate them.

The minature golf course owner showed up.

"Hey, I saw you at the circus", said the owner, "Can you give me my money now?"

"Oh, sure", said Sweetum, who handed over the money.

"Hey, this is six hundred dollars", said the owner, "I thought I said the damages cost six thousand dollars."

"Oops", said Sweetums.

Mean Mama ate an entire beer keg, and then ringing noise came form inside her. She put her arm into her mouth and took out a cell phone, answering it.

"Hello? No, I do not want to buy a microphone", said Mean Mama.

Luncheon Counter Monster then ate part of the counter.

Carl walked around, intoxicated.

"Hi, I'm Carl, the big mean drunk", said Carl, "Now hand over the beer!"

Sweetums went up to the ringmaster.

"Oh, no", said Sweetums, "I have a problem".

"I know", said the ringmaster, "But there is alcohlics anonymous."

"No, not that problem", said Swetums, "It turns out that I owe more than I had thought".

"Don't worry", said the ringmaster, "I have plenty of contracts."

He then raised his voice to all the monsters.

"Attention, all of you", yeleld the ringmaster, "You were all great, and I would like for you all to sign contracts to go on a traveling circus tour!"

"Oh, boy!", yelled the drunk monsters, who all quickly signed contracts, without reading them first because they were so drunk (but amazingly, they were able to sign their names quite clearly).

Then Thog came to sign his.
"Oh, boy", said Thog, "I get to tour. I'll just need to read this..."

"Wait a minute", said the rinmaster, "Why aren't you drunk?"

"Oh, I'm the designated driver", said Thog, "Because everyone mistakes me for a minor."

Thog looked at the contract.

"Hey, if you just sign it, I'll give you free candy", said the ringmaster.

"Okay", said Thog, "Once I read the contract."

But Thog had some trouble reading it.

"Oooooohhhhhh...", moaned Thog, "So many big words that I don't understand....."

"Just sign your name and you won't have to worry about it", said the ringmaster.

"Okay", said Thog, who signed his name, "Now where is the free candy?"

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

The monsters were getting ready to travel. They were at the site of the circus train, but they were passing the time by practicing new acts.

"I'm gonna bend bars", said Gloat, who took out a metal bar and attempted to bend the bar. Of course, he failed.

"You failed", said Gorgon Heap, "Too bad". Gorgon then took the bar and ate it.

Mo Frackle rode on a bicycle, with Boppity, the green frackle who resembles Boppity, the gray frackle who resembles Boppity, and the pink frackle who resembles Boppity sitting on him.

"I'm riding a bike with people on me", said Mo, who started to lose balance and crashed into a big mailbox.

Timmy wathced the Mutations peform cartwheels and backflips.

"Show offs", said Timmy, "Watch me make a backflip".

Timmy proceeded to make a backflip, but he fell on his back.

"Well, everybody, it's time tog et in the train", said the ringmaster.

"Oh, boy", said Luncheon Counter Monster.

"I hope to see all of my fans", said Beautiful Day Monster, "I really like kids."

"Why would kids be fans of you?", asked Doglion.

"Oh, I used to be on Sesame Street", said Beautiful Day Monster.

"Well, let's get in the train", said Sweetums, who proceeded to get into one of the cars.

"Uh, not so fast", said the ringmaster, "I may have arranged for us to go by train, but you monsters have to ride in the cages".

"But I'm afraid of cages", said Thog.

"I refuse to ride", said Sweetums.

"You signed a contract. You have to come", said the ringmaster, "You may have been drunk when you signed it, but you still signed it."

"But must we all ride in cages?", asked Sweetums.

"Oh, you can ride in the cars", said the rignmaster, "But then you'll have to take a big pay cut".

"Fine, we'll ride in the cages", said Sweetums.

"That's the spirit", said the rignmaster.

"Last one in's a rotten egg!", said Mean Mama.

"I like rotten eggs", said Doglion.

They all got in the cages, and the ringmaster then locked the cages.

"What's this lock for?", asked Boppity.

"For safety", said the ringmaster.

Six hours later...

"We've been in here for a long time", said Timmy.

"I'm hungry", said Carl, "Don't they serve meals for monsters?"

"It could be worse", said Thog, "I've had to go to the bathroom for three hours".

Soon, the train was headed towards a stop.

"Hey, it looks like we are stopping", said Luncheon Counter Monster.

"What kind of a building is that?", asked Gloat.

"Hmm, it looks like a slaughter house to me", said Sweetums.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 5

The train had stopped at the front of the slaughter house.

"Everybody get out!", said the ringmaster.

"Oh, good", said Thog, "Now I can go to the restroom".

"And I can stretch my legs", said Mo.

"You should have told me you wanted them stretched when we were on the train", said Carl, who took Mo's legs and stretched them out, "I was very bored on board."

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH", screamed Mo.

Soon, all of the monsters were taken to the dining room at the slaughter house.

"I've got plenty of food for you all to enjoy!", said the cook.

"I'll have some roast beef", said Sweetums.

"I'll have a boiled kitten", said Mean Mama.

"I'll have a grilled chair", said Boppity.

"I'll have some carrots and broccolli", said Thog.

They all soon enjoyed their meals.

"This all looks delicious!", said Gorgon Heap.

"Yes it does, doesn't it?", said Luncheon Counter Monster.

One of the Mutations, who had an entire chicken stuffed into his mouth, tried to say something, but nobody could understand him.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, ya fool!", said Doglion.

One of the other Mutations slapped the Mutation who had his mouth full over the head.

"FOOD FIGHT!", yelled Timmy.

All of the monsters then proceeded to throw their foods at each other.

"This is fun", said Carl, who caught some food with his mouth.

Soon, the monsters were taken to their dungeon rooms for the night.

"You all will sleep in here", said the ringmaster.

"Nice dungeons", said Sweetums.

They all got in cages, many different ones, and then tried to sleep.

"Good night, Sweetums", said Thog.

"Good night, Thig", said Sweetums.

"Good night, Mean Mama", said Doglion.

"Good night, Doglion", said Mean Mama.

The cages then started to move on their own.

"What the...?", said a startled Gloat.

The cages were moving, because the cages were attached to a train track.

"Oh, cool!", said Thog.

"I wonder where we are going", said Sweetums.

"But this is a great way to sleep", said Mean Mama.

"Oh, I've gotta agree with you on that", said Gorgon Heap.

Soon, Sweetums looked ahead. There were a few empty cages befor ehim, which were going into fire, and then a very large, mechanical mallet was hitting and crushing the cages in front of them.

"Look! Those cages are being destroyed!", said Sweetums.

The it hit them.

"Oh, no!", cried Timmy, "I think we are about to be slaughtered!"

All of the monsters then screamed and tried to get out of their cages, but the cages were lcoked.

"We're doomed!", cried Thog.

"Oh, what are we gonna do?", said a nervous Boppity.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 6

Sweetums was scarred. He then saw most of his life flash before his eyes. Memories of chasing the Muppets car from Mad Man Mooney's car dealership, chasing women out of a tent, running through a movie screen, falling into a sewer, battling Sir Robin the Brave, carrying Rita Moreno, Sandy Duncan cheering him up, daning with Bernadette Peters, Timmy, and Thog, dancing with Leslie Uggams and the monsters, singing Surfing USA with the frogs, playing with a paddle ball, brushing his fur with a long brush, and hitting pirates.

"We've gotta get out of here!", said Sweetums.

"But how?", asked Thog.

"Oh, I know how", said an annoyed Luncheon Counter Monster.

Luncheon Counter Monster then proceeded to chew on the bars.

"Good idea", said Mean Mama.

"I don't know", said Gorgon heap, "These bars don't look very delicious".

"Those are strong words comming out of one of the worlds greatest eaters", said Mo.

"Shut up, Mo!", said an annoyed Gorgon.

The monsters all ate their way out of the cages and ran off.

"We will survive! We will survive!", sung Sweetums.

But then a group of robots with large drills got in the way.

"Not so fast", said one of the robots, "get back in the cages and prepare to die!"

"No, we're a lot stronger than you", said Sweetums, "We can break you all easier!"

"Yes, you can", said the robot, "But then you'll have to pay for the damages, and we ain't cheap".

"Neither am I", said Mean Mama.

"How expensive are you?", asked Sweetums.

"We cost more than that minature golf course you destroyed and therefore had to join the circus to pay for", said another robot.

"Oh, good point", said Sweetums.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 7

The robots were cornering the monsters.

"Ohhh, ohhhhh, what'll we do?", asked Thog.

"You will die", said one of the robots.

"I was asking Doglion", said Sweetums.

"How should I know what to do?", asked Doglion.

But then a big steamroler suddenly ran into the wall and over all of the robots. And nobody was even inside the steamroller.

"What luck!", said Timmy.

"Let's all get out of here", said Boppity.

"Good idea", said Gloat.

They all ran through a hallway.

"You know, I don't know why I chose to join your stupid circus", said Mean Mama.

"Yeah, if it weren't for Sweetums, Thog, and Timmy, we wouldn't even be in this mess!", said Doglion.

"Well, now is not the time to be arguing", said Mean Mama.

They all fell through the floor, and into the basement.

"Oh, this is a mess", said Timmy.

"Quick! Let's go up the stairs!", said Sweetums.

They all ran up the stairway, but by the time they got to the door, the ringmaster, the golf course owner, and the foreman of the slaughter house were all at the door, blocking the monsters.

Scarry, suspenseful music started to play. Everybody looked at Boppity, who had a CD player attached to his waist.

"My music's great, huh?", asked Boppity.

"Do you have 'Ain't She Sweet'"? asked Doglion.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 8

"Hey, out of our way!", said Sweetums, "We're escaping from being slaughtered!"

"That's why you were delivered here", said the ringmaster.

"Huh?", said the monster.

"The three of us are very good friends", said the foreman of the slaughterhouse.

"When you knocked my course down, I fined you because I knew the only way you'd make enough money to pay me back would be by joining the circus", said the golf course owner.

"And I tricked you all into signing contracts that allow for you all to be slaughtered, because these days there is a lot of good money comming in for slaughtering monsters", said the ringmaster.


"And I make off with a lot of money from slaughtering you", said the foreman.

"Thog, you weren't supposed to be drunk", said Swetums, "Why didn't you stop us from signing the contracts?"

"I couldn't read or understand many of those big words", said Thog.

But then the stairway fell, and most of the monsters fell to the ground.

"Well, once again, we win", said the ringmaster.

"What do you mean by 'once again'?", asked Doglion.

"We've outsmarted millions of monsters", said the foreman, "and now it's a million and more".

The foreman got a ladder and went downstairs to capture the monsters again. The ringmaster and the golf course owner soon followed.

"Hey, I've got an idea", said Timmy.

"What's that?", asked Mean Mama.

"There's only three of them, but many of us monsters", said Timmy.

"So?", asked Thog.

"Oh, don't you get it?", asked Sweetums, "We can defeat them merely due to our size, as well as our status as monsters."

"That's not what I meant", said Timmy, "But your plan is a lot better!"

So as soon as the three humans got down, the Mutations grabbed them.

"What the...?", said the ringmaster.

"I didn't know that monsters were smart", said the foreman.

"Then I guess you never watch Sesame Street", said Sweetums.

"Sesame Street?", said the foreman, "That's just a babies show!"

"A baby show with puppets", added the golf course owner.

The monsters were then offended by these remarks.

"KILL THEM!",yelled Carl.

The Mutations threw the humans into a cage and threw the cage into the fire and then had them slaughtetred.

"Well, that's the end of them", said Boppity.

"I'm hungry", said Thog.

"Let's eat this building", said Doglion.

So they ate the building.

"That was a great meal", said Mean Mama, "But what about dessert?"

So they all went to the ringmasters home and ate their contracts.

"Well, there's no more contracts for us", said Sweetums.

"And that's the end of that chapter", said Thog.

"What chapter?", asked Sweetums.

"This chapter", said Thog.

The End

"That's not just the end of this chapter, but it's the end of the story", said Sweetums.

"And I'm proud to say that I ate chapter 8!", said Gorgon Heap.