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It's been a long time since I last wrote a fan fic outline for Muppets Tonight! Enjoy!
Cold Opening/ Dressing Room
Clifford, Johnny Fiama, Sal, and Rizzo all chat with Chuck Norris, talking about his action movies. After Sal tells Chuck that his favorite Chuck Norris movie is Back to the Future, Chuck points out that he wasn't in that movie, leading Sal to say that Chuck Norris is not a very great actor.
Introduction
Clifford introduces a clip from Chuck Norris' early television series, "Walker, Alabama Ranger".
Walker, Alabama Ranger
Chuck Norris plays Walker in what is more of an Andy Griffin Sow parody than a Walker Texas Ranger parody. Fozzie plays Walker's deputer, Eddie, who has accidently locked the town drunk, played by Mr. Poodlepants, in a jail cell. Walker karate chops the bars, and the drunk escapes. Then Grampa Opie (played by Ron Howard) shows up to inform them that Gomer's gas station has been blown up. Walker decides to just give up.
Nursing Home
Statler tells Waldorf that television is just the same now as it used to be: terrible.
Lobby
Kermit tells Bobo that he's expecting a very important package to be delivered. Bobo promises to be careful with the package when it comes. Kermit gets on the elevador, and a delivery man shows up with the package. Bobo decides to take it to Kermit. He gets on the elevador, and asks Seymour and Pepe to take him to where Kermit went.
Hallway
Bobo asks Bunsne and Beaker which way Kermit went. They don't know, because they weren't paying attention.
Controll Room
Bobo goes into the controll room looking for Kermit, but Kermit is not there. Nigel cues the next sketch.
Sketch
Chuck Norris and Miss Piggy karate chop various objects in a challenge. They start at karate chopping dummies, vases, and punching bags, but go on to karate chop set pieces, windows, tables, and cameras. In the end, Chuck tells Miss Piggy that she's not so bad for a pig. This offends Miss Piggy, who karate chops Chuck so badly that he goes through the wall, and he gets blown up.
Office
Bobo finds Kermit and tells him that he's found his important package. Kermit tells Bobo that he should have called for him on the itnercom. Bobo adds, "at least I didn't break it".
Song: Insensitive
Spamela sings Insensitive, but halfway trhough it, a chandelier fals on her.
Nursing Home
Statler: I guess she's really sensitive.
Waldorf: And you're saying that you're not?
Statler: No, I'm just saying...
(a chandelier falls on Statler, and Waldorf laughs)
(fade to commercial break)
Dressing Room
Chuck Norris is so embarrassed by getting beat by Miss Piggy that he's gonna give up being a tough guy, and do "sissy stuff" instead. Clifford tries to get him to reconsider, but Chuck tells him, "I've already started being a sissy. I've agreed to be on this show."
Song: Different Drum
Johnny Fiama sings, backed by Animal on drums. Animal starts drumming very loudly, ruinning the song a bit. Sal runs up to beat Animal.
Lobby
Bobo coems back to the lobby to find that all of his things have been stolen.
Introduction
Clifford: (sadly) I'm sorry to say this, but Chuck Norris has decided to give up being a tough guy, and has swithced to being a sissy.
(the audience gasps)
Clifford: Anywhoo, here he is, Chuck Norris, singing... (cringes) "Lolly Pop".
Song: Lolly Pop
Chuck Norris not only sings Loly Pop, but also wears a pink dress and hat.
Nursing Home
Statler: Does this mean that Walker: Texas Ranger wil be cancled?
Waldorf: I sure hope so.
Statler: Hmmm, I'd rather this show be cancled.
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)
Song: Loly Pop (continued)
Chuck Norris continues singing and dancing.
Controll Room
Clifford, Rizzo, Nigel, Sal, and others are in shock, wondering what they can do to get him back to normal. Sam the Eagle notes that Chuck Norris is now a disgrace. Rizzo thinks he knows what he can do to get Chuck Norris fighting again.
Song: Lolly Pop (continued)
Chuck starts dancing, but then Doglion comes on-stage and starts to attack Chuck Norris. Chuck at first squirms like a little girl, but then, after Doglion gets him into a headlock, he steps on Doglions foot, followe dby kicking him. Chuck thinks that that felt a little good, but he's still gonna be a sissy, and continues singing. Sal comes on-stage to beat up Chuck, and pushes him down. Miss Piggy coems to give him a second karate chop. Crazy Harry gives him a bomb, and blows him up, but Chuck continues his act. A group of ninja rats (who claim to have gotten in when Bobo wasn't at his desk) come in to attack him, but Chuck soon beats them. He then feels very confident again, and announces that he will no longer be a sissy. Now he must change his close.
Song: The National Anhtem
Sam decides that this great moment in victory should be celebrated with everybody singing The National Anthem. He leads Clifford, Kermit, Gonzo, Rizzo, Seymour, Pepe, the penguins, and the audience in the anthem.
Tag
Chuck Norris leaves the station, happy that he's a man again, but he then gets hit by a car, and starts crying. "Here we go again" says Kermit.
Cold Opening/ Dressing Room
Clifford, Johnny Fiama, Sal, and Rizzo all chat with Chuck Norris, talking about his action movies. After Sal tells Chuck that his favorite Chuck Norris movie is Back to the Future, Chuck points out that he wasn't in that movie, leading Sal to say that Chuck Norris is not a very great actor.
Introduction
Clifford introduces a clip from Chuck Norris' early television series, "Walker, Alabama Ranger".
Walker, Alabama Ranger
Chuck Norris plays Walker in what is more of an Andy Griffin Sow parody than a Walker Texas Ranger parody. Fozzie plays Walker's deputer, Eddie, who has accidently locked the town drunk, played by Mr. Poodlepants, in a jail cell. Walker karate chops the bars, and the drunk escapes. Then Grampa Opie (played by Ron Howard) shows up to inform them that Gomer's gas station has been blown up. Walker decides to just give up.
Nursing Home
Statler tells Waldorf that television is just the same now as it used to be: terrible.
Lobby
Kermit tells Bobo that he's expecting a very important package to be delivered. Bobo promises to be careful with the package when it comes. Kermit gets on the elevador, and a delivery man shows up with the package. Bobo decides to take it to Kermit. He gets on the elevador, and asks Seymour and Pepe to take him to where Kermit went.
Hallway
Bobo asks Bunsne and Beaker which way Kermit went. They don't know, because they weren't paying attention.
Controll Room
Bobo goes into the controll room looking for Kermit, but Kermit is not there. Nigel cues the next sketch.
Sketch
Chuck Norris and Miss Piggy karate chop various objects in a challenge. They start at karate chopping dummies, vases, and punching bags, but go on to karate chop set pieces, windows, tables, and cameras. In the end, Chuck tells Miss Piggy that she's not so bad for a pig. This offends Miss Piggy, who karate chops Chuck so badly that he goes through the wall, and he gets blown up.
Office
Bobo finds Kermit and tells him that he's found his important package. Kermit tells Bobo that he should have called for him on the itnercom. Bobo adds, "at least I didn't break it".
Song: Insensitive
Spamela sings Insensitive, but halfway trhough it, a chandelier fals on her.
Nursing Home
Statler: I guess she's really sensitive.
Waldorf: And you're saying that you're not?
Statler: No, I'm just saying...
(a chandelier falls on Statler, and Waldorf laughs)
(fade to commercial break)
Dressing Room
Chuck Norris is so embarrassed by getting beat by Miss Piggy that he's gonna give up being a tough guy, and do "sissy stuff" instead. Clifford tries to get him to reconsider, but Chuck tells him, "I've already started being a sissy. I've agreed to be on this show."
Song: Different Drum
Johnny Fiama sings, backed by Animal on drums. Animal starts drumming very loudly, ruinning the song a bit. Sal runs up to beat Animal.
Lobby
Bobo coems back to the lobby to find that all of his things have been stolen.
Introduction
Clifford: (sadly) I'm sorry to say this, but Chuck Norris has decided to give up being a tough guy, and has swithced to being a sissy.
(the audience gasps)
Clifford: Anywhoo, here he is, Chuck Norris, singing... (cringes) "Lolly Pop".
Song: Lolly Pop
Chuck Norris not only sings Loly Pop, but also wears a pink dress and hat.
Nursing Home
Statler: Does this mean that Walker: Texas Ranger wil be cancled?
Waldorf: I sure hope so.
Statler: Hmmm, I'd rather this show be cancled.
(Statler and Waldorf laugh)
Song: Loly Pop (continued)
Chuck Norris continues singing and dancing.
Controll Room
Clifford, Rizzo, Nigel, Sal, and others are in shock, wondering what they can do to get him back to normal. Sam the Eagle notes that Chuck Norris is now a disgrace. Rizzo thinks he knows what he can do to get Chuck Norris fighting again.
Song: Lolly Pop (continued)
Chuck starts dancing, but then Doglion comes on-stage and starts to attack Chuck Norris. Chuck at first squirms like a little girl, but then, after Doglion gets him into a headlock, he steps on Doglions foot, followe dby kicking him. Chuck thinks that that felt a little good, but he's still gonna be a sissy, and continues singing. Sal comes on-stage to beat up Chuck, and pushes him down. Miss Piggy coems to give him a second karate chop. Crazy Harry gives him a bomb, and blows him up, but Chuck continues his act. A group of ninja rats (who claim to have gotten in when Bobo wasn't at his desk) come in to attack him, but Chuck soon beats them. He then feels very confident again, and announces that he will no longer be a sissy. Now he must change his close.
Song: The National Anhtem
Sam decides that this great moment in victory should be celebrated with everybody singing The National Anthem. He leads Clifford, Kermit, Gonzo, Rizzo, Seymour, Pepe, the penguins, and the audience in the anthem.
Tag
Chuck Norris leaves the station, happy that he's a man again, but he then gets hit by a car, and starts crying. "Here we go again" says Kermit.
