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Sam and Friends Book
Barry Lee
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This is a Muppet-ized spoof of the works of William Shakespeare.
Ye Ole' Introduction
It's another pleasant morning at the Muppet's boarding house as the chickens cluck to the sound of the alarms. A Studebaker pulls up in the drive way as a bear rushes in the door carrying a huge book.
"KERRRRMITTT!", the bear shouts as he passes through the penguins in the front entrance.
"KEEEERMIT!" he shouts again as he stumbles into the kitchen.
"Yes Fozzie?" Kermit responds to the bear, as he is fiddling around with his cereal bowl, he looks up at Fozzie.
The table is nearly empty, along with Kermit next to him to his right is his little nephew Robin, and Rowlf the piano playing Dog is next too Robin.
"Kermit" Fozzie catches his breath as he slams a huge old book on the table, dust poofs into Kermit's face, "so while visiting my mother, she gave me this book she found in the attic. And she told me a secret."
Kermit sighs, "Okay Fozzie what is this, ahem, secret?"
"Welllll," Fozzie raises his eyesbrows as he catches another breath, "My mother's mother's mother's grandmother's sister's mother, great great great great great great great grandmother's mother was married to William Shakespeare!"
Rowlf and Robin both paused from eating as they looked at each other sort of in confusion and also in amusement.
Kermit looks at Fozzie and smiles, "Yeah sure Fozzie, so whats this book?"
"KERMIT! This is the LAST book Shakespeare has ever written, and get this, it has a frog, and a pig, and a-a- a whatever. similar to us!" Fozzie just smiles in excitement.
Kermit opens the book to find that it is all in old english, "sure Fozzie, this is not the LAST book Shakespeare ever written, let alone including a frog or a bear, or a pig or even a whatever."
Fozzie sighs as he closes the book from Kermit, "KERMIT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME. Also Ma said that this book is cursed by WITCHES!" At this point Rowlf and Robin both start laughing, as a voice trembles down the stairs.
"Hey man, whats all the laughing about? Fozzie finally has a good joke?" the raggidy hipster laughs as he enters the dining room.
"No Floyd," Robin says as he attempts to contain himself from laughter, "Fozzie says that his mother gave him the LAST book by Shakespeare and that Fozzie is related to Shakespeare, and that the last book is cursed by, get this," Robin laughs, "WITCHES!"
"Man, and I thought my days in the nineteen sixties were bad," Floyd chuckles as he takes a seat.
Rowlf, Robin, and Floyd all are trying to keep their laughter to themseleves, as Kermit reads the title of the book...
"MacGonzbeth." Kermit read's aloud, "Hmmm."
Kermit knew that name looked strangely fimiliar. At this point Fozzie walks away to his little room in embarassment. Kermit opens the book again as he coughs away the dust once again. Kermit starts reading the book, but its all full of gibberish.
"You guys, this makes no sense," Kermit procclaims to Robin, Floyd, and Rowlf. All of a sudden, thunder roars around the Muppet boarding house, as three other Muppets, as well as Fozzie, tremble down the stairs to join Kermit, in sheer fear of what's happening.
"Fozzie, this book doesn't make any sense..." Kermit explains to Fozzie.
"What book?" a hooked nose creature asked as he scratches his head.
"Gonzo man, it's this wack book about,...." Floyd tries to reply to Gonzo as an explosion in the house occurs.
"Woah! That almost zapped my tail!" the Rat shouted, as the lights SHUT OFF.
"Kerrrrrmit what's going on in here?" Fozzie asks as the pitch dark startles him. Fozzie tries to move as he bumps into someone who isn't familiar.
"Well Hello, my dear," a scratchy female voice proclaimed as Fozzie screamed and the lights came back on.
Fozzie turns around to find a huge purple heaped lady next to him, wrapped around a cloak similar to what the grim reaper would wear. She looked, like a witch.
"The name is Taminella Grinderfall. You rang?" the witch asked as she chuckeled.
Fozzie, Robin, Rizzo (the Rat), Floyd and Rowlf all of a sudden faint while Gonzo and Kermit stare at Taminella.
"You see you read the opening lines to the last Shakespeare book ever entitled 'MacGonzBeth' and that's my call for me to take over your home!" Taminella explained as she helps herself to a cup of Kermit's morning tea.
"Wait-- MacGonzbeth? I LOVE THAT STORY" Gonzo shouted.
"How do you know that story Gonzo?" Kermit asks as he looks at Taminella.
"Oh, 1973 was just an interesting year..." Gonzo sighs.
"Well anyway's the curse of this book has been layed upon you. On one condition, you have to reanact the WHOLE 900 pages of MacGonzthBeth. Which no one has accomplished." Taminella procclaimed as she puts the tea down.
"We'll do it!" Kermit shouts.
"We'll... wha?" Gonzo questions in shock.
"KERRRRMITTT!", the bear shouts as he passes through the penguins in the front entrance.
"KEEEERMIT!" he shouts again as he stumbles into the kitchen.
"Yes Fozzie?" Kermit responds to the bear, as he is fiddling around with his cereal bowl, he looks up at Fozzie.
The table is nearly empty, along with Kermit next to him to his right is his little nephew Robin, and Rowlf the piano playing Dog is next too Robin.
"Kermit" Fozzie catches his breath as he slams a huge old book on the table, dust poofs into Kermit's face, "so while visiting my mother, she gave me this book she found in the attic. And she told me a secret."
Kermit sighs, "Okay Fozzie what is this, ahem, secret?"
"Welllll," Fozzie raises his eyesbrows as he catches another breath, "My mother's mother's mother's grandmother's sister's mother, great great great great great great great grandmother's mother was married to William Shakespeare!"
Rowlf and Robin both paused from eating as they looked at each other sort of in confusion and also in amusement.
Kermit looks at Fozzie and smiles, "Yeah sure Fozzie, so whats this book?"
"KERMIT! This is the LAST book Shakespeare has ever written, and get this, it has a frog, and a pig, and a-a- a whatever. similar to us!" Fozzie just smiles in excitement.
Kermit opens the book to find that it is all in old english, "sure Fozzie, this is not the LAST book Shakespeare ever written, let alone including a frog or a bear, or a pig or even a whatever."
Fozzie sighs as he closes the book from Kermit, "KERMIT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME. Also Ma said that this book is cursed by WITCHES!" At this point Rowlf and Robin both start laughing, as a voice trembles down the stairs.
"Hey man, whats all the laughing about? Fozzie finally has a good joke?" the raggidy hipster laughs as he enters the dining room.
"No Floyd," Robin says as he attempts to contain himself from laughter, "Fozzie says that his mother gave him the LAST book by Shakespeare and that Fozzie is related to Shakespeare, and that the last book is cursed by, get this," Robin laughs, "WITCHES!"
"Man, and I thought my days in the nineteen sixties were bad," Floyd chuckles as he takes a seat.
Rowlf, Robin, and Floyd all are trying to keep their laughter to themseleves, as Kermit reads the title of the book...
"MacGonzbeth." Kermit read's aloud, "Hmmm."
Kermit knew that name looked strangely fimiliar. At this point Fozzie walks away to his little room in embarassment. Kermit opens the book again as he coughs away the dust once again. Kermit starts reading the book, but its all full of gibberish.
"You guys, this makes no sense," Kermit procclaims to Robin, Floyd, and Rowlf. All of a sudden, thunder roars around the Muppet boarding house, as three other Muppets, as well as Fozzie, tremble down the stairs to join Kermit, in sheer fear of what's happening.
"Fozzie, this book doesn't make any sense..." Kermit explains to Fozzie.
"What book?" a hooked nose creature asked as he scratches his head.
"Gonzo man, it's this wack book about,...." Floyd tries to reply to Gonzo as an explosion in the house occurs.
"Woah! That almost zapped my tail!" the Rat shouted, as the lights SHUT OFF.
"Kerrrrrmit what's going on in here?" Fozzie asks as the pitch dark startles him. Fozzie tries to move as he bumps into someone who isn't familiar.
"Well Hello, my dear," a scratchy female voice proclaimed as Fozzie screamed and the lights came back on.
Fozzie turns around to find a huge purple heaped lady next to him, wrapped around a cloak similar to what the grim reaper would wear. She looked, like a witch.
"The name is Taminella Grinderfall. You rang?" the witch asked as she chuckeled.
Fozzie, Robin, Rizzo (the Rat), Floyd and Rowlf all of a sudden faint while Gonzo and Kermit stare at Taminella.
"You see you read the opening lines to the last Shakespeare book ever entitled 'MacGonzBeth' and that's my call for me to take over your home!" Taminella explained as she helps herself to a cup of Kermit's morning tea.
"Wait-- MacGonzbeth? I LOVE THAT STORY" Gonzo shouted.
"How do you know that story Gonzo?" Kermit asks as he looks at Taminella.
"Oh, 1973 was just an interesting year..." Gonzo sighs.
"Well anyway's the curse of this book has been layed upon you. On one condition, you have to reanact the WHOLE 900 pages of MacGonzthBeth. Which no one has accomplished." Taminella procclaimed as she puts the tea down.
"We'll do it!" Kermit shouts.
"We'll... wha?" Gonzo questions in shock.