Kingdom Hearts: Pangaea

[RedPiggy]

Author’s Note: MC ate this stupid post! Argh! Lesson, boys and girls – don’t write fic chapters straight on MC. Write it on Word or something first. Otherwise, kiss it goodbye. Ahem. Anyway, this is a fic where I imagine Dinosaurs is a level in Kingdom Hearts 3. I have no idea what will happen in that game, but that won’t stop me from writing this! Read a fic about a Muppet Show level of Kingdom Hearts … because that was cool, too.

Pre-Climax Story
Sora, Donald, and Goofy land in a misty swamp. Sora is dressed in a Georgie costume, which is like an orange hippo but with a dinosaur tail in the back. Donald is a white pterodactyl. Goofy wears a fur caveman costume. Sora stares at his costume while Donald and Goofy snicker at him. Sora tries to pull off the head of the costume, but it’s stuck. Donald and Goofy nearly double over, laughing.

Sora (angrily): It’s not funny!

Donald (laughs): You look like a theme park mascot!

Goofy (to Donald): You look purdy keen yerself, Donald.

Donald (stares at his leathery wings, disgusted): My poor, poor feathers ….

Goofy: Aw, shucks, Donald – I think the look suits ya.

Donald (mumbles): You WOULD, insurance salesman.

Sora: Let’s focus on the task at hand, shall we? We need to find out how Xenahort ties in to the ancient Keyblade Wars.

Donald (yells): WE KNOW! WE KNOW!

Goofy: Well, there’s no reason to be surly, Donald.

Sora (nudges Donald): Yeah. You don’t have to shout. We’re right here.

Donald (mumbles and walks ahead of them)

The trio come across a large moldy sign advertising new tract homes courtesy of Wesayso.

Sora (confused): What’s a tract home?


Adolescent male voice: HELP! HELP ME!

The trio turn and close to the edge of the swamp, a tall lanky green dinosaur with a spiky Mohawk and dressed in a red and white varsity jacket and black-striped t-shirt runs away from a fat brown dinosaur with dark round glasses and a Viking helmet and a black leather vest. The lanky green dinosaur stumbles over some bushes and barely avoids being pounced on by its pursuer.

Sora (in awe): Wow … dinosaurs ….

Goofy: Maybe we should help him?

Donald: How can you tell what’s a boy and what’s a girl?

The trio rushes over as the tall lanky green dinosaur hides behind a group of trees. A message appears on the screen: Sora learned Tail Bash! Donald learned Ancient Hurricane! Goofy learned Bone Shield! Tail Bash shows Sora using the tail of his costume to trip the enemy. Ancient Hurricane involves Donald flying up in the air and twirling around, battering the opponent with a wind storm. Bone Shield makes Goofy’s shield shoot bones out at the enemy. These abilities are only available on this world.

Fat brown dinosaur in-battle dialogue (Arnold Schwar … please don’t make me spell it … anyway, Arnie’s accent): I’ll give you to the count of three so you can run and hide like a scared little bunny. *laughs* You can be our own in-house victim! Ready or not – where’s your brains? So – you wanna join the Scavengers? *after a pterodactyl flies overhead, announcing Andre’s name and all his accomplishments* SHUT UP! I KNOW WHO I AM! *whacks pterodactyl*

When Andre’s down to a quarter health, he burps loudly, staggers around, and falls into the swamp, only to float away.

The lanky green dinosaur (comes out of hiding and approaches the trio): Thanks!

Sora: No problem! Glad we could help.

Green dinosaur (gawks at Sora, snickers): Why are you dressed like that? You look like a stupid theme park mascot.

Donald and Goofy (snicker)

Sora (hangs his head, sighs): It’s stuck.

Green dinosaur (takes off the Georgie head): There you go. Is that better?

Sora (inhales): I can sure breathe a lot better. Thanks. I’m Sora. *points to his friends* That’s Donald, and that’s Goofy. What’s YOUR name?

Green dinosaur: Oh, I’m Robert Mark Sinclair. You can call me Robbie. The only time I hear my full name is when Mom’s about to eat me.

Donald: O_O Your mother would EAT you?

Robbie (shrugs): Yeah. It’s a food chain thing. If a young dinosaur disobeys the parents, the Book of Dinosaur clearly states that parents have a right to eat their young.

Goofy: That’s AWFUL!

Robbie: Yeah, well, that’s why I tried to join this pack called the Scavengers. I’m tired of my mother always bossing me around! I’m 16 years old! She can’t tell me what to do!

Sora: Uh … well … I hope you two can work that out. We really need to get going. See, we’re trying to investigate an evil villain who wants to spread darkness and destruction all over the universe.

Robbie: Mr. Richfield?

Sora, Donald, and Goofy (looking at each other in confusion): Mr. Richfield?

Robbie (nods): Yeah. He works for Wesayso and wants to destroy all the trees so he can build prefabricated homes.

Sora (softly): That’s awful!

Goofy: Well, gawrsh, why doncha just tell him to stop?

Robbie (laughs): Yeah, right.

Sora: Maybe we should talk to him. I’m sure he can listen to reason.

Robbie (gawks at Sora): Uh, maybe. *brightens up* If you REALLY want to talk to Mr. Richfield, I’m gonna need you to prove your worth. You did a great job with Andre, but if you REALLY want a test of your abilities, there’s only one other dinosaur to meet. I can take you to him. *flip transition*

Robbie, Sora, Donald, and Goofy stand outside the Sinclair house, staring into the window, looking as a small pink dinosaur in a high chair watches TV in what appears to be a kitchen. A glowing save point can be seen near the back door on the right. The high chair has a small phone and a remote control for the TV on it. Robbie opens the door and pushes the trio into the house.

Robbie: Okay, here’s the thing: this is my baby brother. Mom’ll be home in another hour. Keep him happy while I go make sure Caroline wants to go to the movies with me Friday night.

Donald: YOU MEAN WE’RE BABYSITTING?

Robbie (shrugs): Yep.

Sora: How can you just leave your brother alone?

Robbie (shrugs again): I’m a teenager. Girls are more important than responsibility. *waves* See ya. *rushes to the door and exits, locking the door behind him*

Donald: I don’t believe this ….

Baby (angrily): I don’t either! I’m gonna tell! *inhales deeply* MOMMA! MOMMA!

Sora (panicking, trying to calm Baby): Don’t yell! Don’t yell! We’re here to do anything you say! We’ll have lots of fun! *reaches out a hand to pet Baby on the hand, but jumps back in terror as Baby snaps at him*

Baby: I don’t – wait. You have to do ANYTHING I say?

Sora, Donald, and Goofy (nodding profusely): Just stay happy!

Baby (laughs maliciously): Okay! *points to phone* Baby not happy … Baby call Momma! Momma eat you!

Sora (sighs): Fine. What do you want us to do first?

Baby (points to the TV): Dance! Like on TV!

A mini-game begins where DTV plays music videos and Sora, Donald, and Goofy must synchronize their dance moves to the music using button combos. A vertical meter appears on the right side of the screen with an angry Baby on the bottom and a happy Baby on the top.

If you win:

Baby (laughs and claps): AGAIN! AGAIN!

The kitchen of the Sinclair house becomes an area that can be explored, with a save point by the back door. The kitchen island and the refrigerator sparkle, letting the player know there are two other mini-games.

If you lose:

Baby (picks up the phone): Hello, Momma? Come eat intruders!

Donald (grabs phone from Baby): Hey! *stares at phone* This is a TOY phone!

Baby (embarrassed): I’m the baby … gotta love me?

Sora (sighs): Let’s try this again….

Sora walks behind the kitchen island counter and a prompt appears: “Start Mini-game.”

Baby (angrily): I’m hungry! Feed my mouth! Fill my belly!

Sora: Okay, okay!

Baby starts giving instructions for how to fix his meals. First, Sora must locate his meat-filled baby bottle. Baby says “warmer” or “cooler” based on where you stand in the kitchen. Sometimes, though, Baby will lie to you and you will find toys or traps, making Baby laugh and clap his hands. After you retrieve the baby bottle and give it to Baby, you must assemble a meal from an increasingly long list of silly groceries. You are given a time limit of one and a half minutes. Assemble it out of order or run out of time and the “lose” scenario plays. If you win, there’s still the fridge game.

The critters who live in the fridge decide to escape so they won’t get eaten. You are forced to capture all the creatures after knocking them unconscious. You have three minutes to capture them all and return them to the fridge. You must then use your keyblade to lock the fridge so they can’t escape again.

After all three mini-games are completed, Fran arrives home with a bag of groceries.

Fran (shocked): What are you and what are you doing here? *calls out* Robbie! *frowns* ROBERT MARK SINCLAIR! GET YOUR LAZY LITTLE GREEN TAIL DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!

Sora (trembles): B-but, ma’am … we were just helping your son take care of the baby. He’s very cute.

Goofy: He’s been so well-behaved, too.

Donald (under his breath): For a complete monster.

Baby (throws the toy phone at Donald, knocking him out, laughs)

Fran (looks over with a motherly expression at Baby and sighs): Thank you all for taking care of my baby. *curtly* I’ll deal with Robbie LATER.

Sora (gets down on his knees): Please don’t eat your son, Mrs. Sinclair! He has a good reason!

Fran (shakes her head, rolling her eyes): I can imagine – he said he had a date tonight.

Goofy (shaking his head): No, ma’am … we’re tryin’ ta … uh … protect the land from … um … Mr. Richfield!

Fran (raises an eyebrow): Mr. Richfield?

Sora (nods enthusiastically and stands up): Yes, ma’am! Robbie told us he was an evil tyrant and we want to help!

Fran (sighs): Earl will be LIVID.

Donald: Earl?

Fran (nods): My husband. Mr. Richfield’s his boss and Earl is too scared of him to protest anything that boss of his does. *checks a clock on the wall* He’ll be home in a bit. I need to fix his supper – and the Baby’s, too.

Goofy: Gawrsh, we already took care of that….

Baby (burps loudly and giggles)

Fran (smiles): Maybe you CAN stay after all. You’ve been SUCH a great help! I don’t know HOW I can repay you.

To be continued …

 

[The Count]

Will there be another installment? Please?

 

[RedPiggy]

After the conversation with Fran, the Babysitting Baby mini-games are unlocked for free play. Winning will result in 50 munny each (after all, the Sinclairs are working stiffs and can’t just come up with a lot of cash). Fran and Baby will both be available to talk to, as well as Donald and Goofy. Their speech will be in text boxes. Baby will be in his high chair and Fran will be at the kitchen island, cooking. Any time spent in the Sinclair house (not counting cut-scenes) will have the instrumental show theme song on loop.

Baby: *angrily* Move! You’re blocking the TV! I’m the baby … gotta love me! I’m a merchandising icon! I whack Not the Momma on the head with a frying pan! Daddy works at a mind-numbing job! Did you bring me a present? Charlene’s at the mall. I like it when Grandma reads to me.

Fran: Thank you for taking care of Baby on such short notice. I’m sorry you can’t be paid more, but Earl’s hours have been reduced. I volunteer at a counseling center for amphibians. It’s good to get out of the house some. Dinosaurs have only been civilized for a few million years now. I’m worried Spike is a bad influence on Robbie.

Donald: I miss my feathers. I’m glad she’s not gonna eat us. My head still hurts.

Goofy: Hey, this music’s kinda catchy – just like The Rite of Spring. We must be too far in the past. I had no idea dinosaurs could talk.

A command prompt appears in front of the phone when Sora walks to it. A cutscene begins.

Sora (picks up the phone only to cringe as there is indeterminate yelling on the other end, hands it to Fran): Here you go.

Fran (takes phone): Yes? Oh! Mr. Richfield! *jaw drops* What do you MEAN Earl didn’t show up for work today? *pause as she listens to more yelling*

Mr. Richfield: -- OR HE’LL BE FIRED!

Fran (sighs): Of course I’ll find him and tell him, Mr. Richfield. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. *hangs up*

Sora (nervous): So, um, what’s up?

Fran (sighs, clenching her fists)

Baby (wide-eyed with wonder): Not the Momma’s in … TROUBLE ….

Fran (glancing at him, frowning): Yes … yes, he is.

Baby (giggles)

Fran (to Sora): If I go try to find Earl – I’m going to tear his face off with my bare teeth. Would you mind doing me a favor?

Goofy (helpfully): Ya wan’ us ta go look for him?

Fran (to Goofy, smiling): Yes, that would be lovely. Please check the rest of the house. If he’s not there, he might be wandering around the forest with his work buddies.

Sora (nods): Sure. What should we tell him?

Fran (glares at Sora): Tell him his WIFE is looking for him. He’s not the smartest dinosaur, but he’ll get the message.

Sora (laughs nervously and nods)

Sora, Donald, and Goofy can now explore the entire Sinclair house. Each room can be entered with the name of the room (eventually) appearing at the bottom of the screen and must be loaded individually. The living room has a couple of treasure chests including a map chest. There is a double door in the back, a fireplace in the back right of the room, a television in the front left of the room, the white sofa (which looks like it’s made of carved bone) in the center, and a bookshelf behind Earl’s “recliner”, which is nothing more than a stool and two armrests. Ethyl Phillips is sleeping on the sofa, with her wheelchair on the side. If Sora tries to interact with her, a message appears. “She’s asleep. It’s best not to wake her.” Sora can explore the bookshelf, with messages identifying family objects such as portraits and the Book of Dinosaur. A reaction command will appear in front of the television when Sora approaches it, saying “Turn On”. There will be a total of four programs: a short of Exploding Cop 2, a short of Box Full of Puppies, a Wesayso commercial, and a special news bulletin from Howard Handupme which announces that polls indicate dinosaurs believe video games will make children lazy.

Baby’s room will have one treasure chest next to his white crib. The walls are decorated with various shapes. A mobile with glow in the dark stars hangs over the crib. Sora can search a pile of toys and a message appears. “Baby Sinclair goes through a lot of toys.” Sora can search the crib and a message appears. “It looks like there is a hole under the crib.”

Charlene’s room upstairs on the right side of the hallway is locked, as is the bathroom.

On the far left of the hallway upstairs is Earl and Fran’s room. There is a low bed on the right and a dresser on the left. There is a special treasure chest where a “mammoth surprise” meal is located. A message appears below it on the item menu: “Earl’s favorite meal. He can’t resist it.”

Upon exiting, Robbie’s room is between Earl and Fran’s room and Charlene’s room. When the trio enter Robbie’s room, a cutscene begins. Robbie’s room has a bed on the right and a desk on the left, filled with books and school papers. There is also an 8-track player on the desk. There is a rope fastened to the desk that leads out of an open semi-circular window.

Goofy (looking around – the Teenage Mutant Ninja Cavemen poster can be seen on the door behind him): Gawrsh, this must be Robbie’s room.

Donald (shakes his head): This looks like something my nephews would have in THEIR rooms.

Sora (sighs): Well, nothing’s in here. We might as well go outside and check the forest. *turns toward the window as he hears grunting and the rope squeaking* What’s that?

Robbie climbs up and enters the room through the window, falling over the desk and landing on the floor with a thud. Sora, Donald, and Goofy stare over him.

Robbie (laughs nervously): Uh … hi?

Sora (frowning): You dumped us to go on a date.

Robbie: Technically, I only ASKED her out on a date.

Donald (angrily): Well, while you were busy shirking responsibility, your father’s gone missing!

Robbie (jumping up, making the trio stumble backwards): What?

Goofy (nods): Your mother got a call from Mr. Richfield. He said yer ol’ man never showed up fer work today.

Sora (nods): Your mom said we should check the forest.

Robbie (crestfallen): That’s on the way to Mr. Richfield’s trailer. He’ll rip out our rib cages and use them as a xylophone.

Sora (sternly): We HAVE to go find your father! What if he’s hurt?

Robbie (sighs): Fine. How will we convince him to come home? He’ll know Mom’s upset with him.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy (look at each other and shrugs)

Sora (snaps his fingers): Wait! We found something called “mammoth surprise” in his room!

Robbie (nods): That might work. *claps hands together* Alright … I guess we should go get him. We’ll go out the back double door. It’s in the living room.

Robbie, Sora, Donald, and Goofy silently file out of the house while Grandma Ethyl still sleeps on the sofa.

This is the first major area where Sora and his team can level up. The forest is a large vertically rectangular space with dozens of large trees, tree stumps, and shrubbery. A couple of Wesayso signs point the way to Richfield’s trailer area, which will be beyond the top of the forest map. There are a few treasure chests. The following Heartless start appearing: Creeper Plants (stationary flowers that fire seeds), Hook Bats (bats with a large hook for feet), and Rapid Thrusters (like a bright yellow beak with short black wings).

Robbie (wide-eyed, terrified): Wh-what ARE those things?

Sora (readying his keyblade): Those’re heartless!

Donald (determined): We gotta defeat ‘em!

Robbie: B-but I don’t know how to fight!

Sora (nods): Then let us take care of it!

Each Heartless comes in a wave of ten. After the last wave is defeated, Sora and the rest of the gang head towards the back of the forest area.

To Be Continued ….

 

[The Count]

Wow, this is rully great. *Waits eagerly for next segment.

 

[RedPiggy]

Right before the trio and Robbie enter the next area, a cutscene begins. A large arm clad in a long-sleeved black leather jacket grabs Robbie and pulls him left out of the frame. Sora and the others turn around and spy Spike dragging Robbie back a few yards.

Sora (readying his keyblade): Aw, come ON … enough already!

Robbie (trying to get free): Spike! Let go of me!

Spike: You’re not SERIOUSLY thinking of hittin’ da Richfield trailer, are ya?

Goofy: We’re here to find Robbie’s father!

Donald: Yeah!

Spike (raises an eyebrow as he stares at the trio, then turns to Robbie, smirking): You bring carry-out wit’ you?

Robbie (gets free): They’re not food, Spike. They’re going to help me get Dad.

Spike (frowns): Tut, tut – don’t try ta kid a kiddah, Sinclair. Just like you only wanted ta join da Scavengers ta get outta gettin’ grounded, I know yer only bringin’ dem along ta do all de dirty work for ya.

Robbie (offended): I can be vicious!

Spike (grins): I also hear you are da most picked-on kid in school. That veg kick you went on really damaged any kind of “vicious” rep you may have evah had. *chuckles*

Robbie (scoffs): Oh, and I guess YOU’RE the most dangerous dinosaur around?

Spike (keeps grinning): Ask around. *pats Robbie on the shoulder* You wanna live past the boss battle, kid, you gotta shape up yer game. Yer main problem is dat you only got enough meat on yer bones ta starve most predators inta extinction. *laughs*

Robbie (rolls his eyes): And I guess this means you have some suggestions?

Spike (gets dead serious): Yer Mom still cookin’ supper?

Robbie: Yeah ….

Spike (nods and beams): Sure! I got plenty of suggestions. *raises his index finger* First of all, you four stink. Richfield is t’ree times MY size. Even da four o’ you put together can’t outmuscle him.

Sora (offended): We’ve defeated HUMONGOUS monsters. How bad can it be?

Spike (stares at Sora dryly): Dose monsters evah wanna EAT ya, kid?

Sora: Uh….

Spike: T’ought so. *to Robbie* Look, I help you out – I t’ink I deserve a little … compensation.

Robbie (angrily): Will you just go ahead and tell us already? I already SAID you could come over for dinner!

Spike (claps his hands together once): Okey-dokey. First t’ting we’re gonna do is stretch dose little neurons o’ yours. Now, go ahead an’ hit me. *Robbie takes a swing but Spike jerks back* Oooooh, so close, an’ yet … so far. *to Sora* You t’ink you can do bettah, buttah cup? All t’ree o’ you can try an’ take me on.

The battle that ensues is unwinnable, as Spike is trying to make a point. He can dodge any attack Sora and the others can dish out. Depending on his location, he will try to push down trees or launch rocks at the trio. If he succeeds in hitting Sora, Spike mocks him, saying “Da object is ta NOT get hit, y’know!u201D After several command prompts, which creates a special attack where the trio spread out and attack the ground which creates three shockwaves that surround Spike and knock him down, Spike laughs and charges, using his tail to trip all three in one rapid twirl. While the trio is dizzy on the ground, Spike dashes behind a tree and pats the trunk and stares at Robbie.

Spike: Now, all I gotta do is push dis t’ing down an’ dey won’t be gettin’ up again.

Sora (wearily sits back up, rubbing his head): I think we get the picture. You win.

Spike (nods and helps Sora and the gang up): I gotta hand it to ya, squirt … you t’ree got a harder bunch o’ heads dan I t’ought. But ta win any fight against da baddest o’ da bad here, you gotta use what’s INSIDE dat noggin’, not just rely on a thick skull, comprende?

Donald (rubbing the back of his neck): Yeah, yeah … we understand.

Spike (to Sora): Richfield nevah gets outta dat trailer o’ his. Dat gives him de advantage, but ONLY if ya get in dere wit’ him, got it?

Robbie (nods): We got it.

Spike (slams his hand hard on Robbie’s back): Good! Now – just ta make sure I made a successful investment – all o’ you are gonna get another round wit’ da Scavengers. Dose guys are my family, so I gotta make sure dey get their exercise, right? Get past all o’ dem wit’ da knowledge I imparted onto yer impressionable noggin’s, an’ you just might make it ta gettin’ back at Richfield.

To be continued ….

 

[The Count]

Rully interested to see how this continues as the gang goes through the Scavenger gauntlet.

 

[RedPiggy]

This is really frustrating ... getting emails for nearly every subscription except this one! AAARRRGGGHHH!

I don't know when I'm going to post the next part. I may only be able to do these on maybe 2 or 3 days out of the week.

 

[The Count]

Is okay... Post when you can. You is got only two hands. Life is life.
Is also a good cereal okay.

Anyway, you know we luvs you Kells. Again, post when possible.

 

[RedPiggy]

Woohoo! An email alert -- that was on time! Whatever magic you worked, thanks!

 

[The Count]

*Mindcasting images onto the crystal ball trying to find... Magic you say? Hmm, wasn't aware of it. Must've been one of those ordinary miracles Quasi notices. *Disappears back into nothingness leaving a smile for Kelly. *OOC: Sorry, but something just happened that's made me hopping mad. *Sigh, please post more...