Janice's Big Break

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 1

It was two days before the next episode of The Muppet Show. Janice was in the prop room, sadly playing her guitar. Floyd had heard her playing and came in to see what was wrong.

"That was good playing, Janice, though a bit sad", said Floyd, "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, well...", said Janice, "I haven't really done much on the show lately."

"What do you mean?", asked Floyd, "You've been playing with the band almost every week, and you've played Nurse Janice in three out of every four shows, and you've sung in the chorus."

"I know", said Janice, "But I'm still not featured enough. I, like, hardly ever get a lead singing opportunity, and rarely get a solo. It's usually you or Dr. Teeth doing the main singing, and I've rully just been part of the band. I want to do more, fer sure!"

"Well, why don't you tell the frog how you feel?", asked Floyd.

"Oh, of course!", said Janice, "Where is Kermit?"

"He's down in the canteen", said Floyd.

Meanwhile, down in the canteen...

"What's wrong, Frog?", asked Gladys, "You're usually happier when you eat your fly sandwhich."

"Oh, the guest star just cancled her appearance", said Kermit.

"Well, she must have been really intelligent to have cancled", said Sam, "Who was the scheduled guets star, anyway?"

"Sarah Pailin", said Kermit.

"Hmm, figures", said Sam, "Always the ones I want on the show."

"We need to do some changing on such short notice", moaned Kermit.

Janice then ran to Kermit.

"Hey, Kermit, I would rully like to do more on the show, fer sure!", said Janice.

"If you want more exposure, I know of a place where women get plenty of it, okay", said Pepe, "It's called X Dancers, okay."

"Hey, wait a minute!", exclaiemd Kermit, "This weeks guest star cancled, you can go on in her place!"

"oh, rully?", said Janice.

"Oh, yeah, you were there for the rehearsals of her main sketch", said Kermit.

"I was going to be an extra", said Janice.

"Well, now you can star in it, and you can also perform up to three numbers", said Kermit.

"I'll take three, fer sure!", said Janice.

"Terriffic!", said Kermit.

"I can put makeup on her, okay", said Pepe.

"I can't wait to be the promoted guest star", said Janice, "It's like this'll be my big break!"

However, upstairs by the canteen door, Miss Piggy had overheard this.

"So, a guest star cancles and they replace her with Janice instead of moi?", thought Piggy, "I'll give her a bigger break."

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

Kermit was by his desk, looking over his papers.

"Let's see, what changes do I make?", thought Kermit.
Hilda walked by.

"Oh, Hilda!", said Kermit, "Look, the guest star cancled and Janice is taking her place. I need you to resize the outfit."

"Okay", said Hilda.

"She won't need to", said Bunsen, "Not with the official Muppet Labs Hot Water Washing Machine."

Beaker dragged in the washing machine.

"Mee mee mee mee mee", said Beaker.

"That's right", said Bunsen, "We will demonstrate."

Sweetums walked by, with a big pile of clothes.

"Well, Kermit, I'm donating some outfits to Goodwill", said Sweetums.

"Mee mee meee mee", said beaker.

"What do you mean I ain't gotta send them?", asked Sweetums.

"He means that we could use some as an experiment", said Bunsen, "Let's put some of your outfits into the washing machine."

Sweetums put a few outfits into the machine.

"Now, Sweetums, you are an extra large, right?", asked Bunsen.

"Actually, I'm a double extra large", said Sweetums.

"Hmm, okay", said Bunsen, "Well, Beaker here will turn the dial to medium, and then he'll push the button."

Beaker did so, and then meeped a bit. The machine moved around as it was washing.

"Soon it will be done washing", said Bunsen.

A ding went off.

"And now we'll look at the outfits", said Bunsen.

Beaker pulled some outfits out, only now they were smaller than Beaker's hands.

"Oh, dear", said Bunsen.

"Hilda, I think you should just make the outfits smaller", said Kermit.

"Okay, I'll go get her measurements", said Hilda.

"No, I'll do it for you, okay", laughed Pepe, who went off.

"Oh, and, uh, do you happen to have a dryer that the outfits can go in?", asked Bunsen.

Janice was in the alley outside the theater, playing her guitar.

"That's mighty fine music, Janice", said Floyd.

"He's right, you know", said Dr. Teeth.

"Thanks, and I can't wait until this weeks show now", said Janice.

"Maybe we should celebrate", said Zoot.

"CELL-LE-BRATE! CE-LE-BRATE!", said Animal.

"Hey, I think I know what my opening number should be", said Janice.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

Everybody was getting ready for rehearsals for the main sketch that was to have been done by the guest star.

"Here is your outfit, Janice", said Hilda, handing her a winter coat and some ice skates.

"Oh, wow", said Janice, "It was tailored to my size."

"Now, you've watched th eprevious rehearsals, right?", asked Kermit.

"Fer sure!", said Janice, "I was supposed to play guitar in the orchestra for it."

"Well, just do what the guest star was doing", said Kermit.

"Wait a minute", said Pepe, "So she's not going to wear anything sexy?"

"Well, no", said Kermit, "Our guest star was going to eb Sara Pailin, and since Palin was the governor of alaska, we were going to have her do an Alaskan sketch, in which she taught Thog how to ice skate. Since Mrs. Pailin cancled, Janice is doing the same sketch."

"Why couldn't both be doing a hot tub sketch, okay", said Pepe.

"Well, I am ready", said Thog.

"Oh, good", said Kermit, "Everybody on the stage!"

Meanwhile, underneath the stage, Miss Piggy was looking at some blueprints and papers.

"So", thought Piggy, "These will be the spots that Janice skates to alone. I'll have to saw this part of the stage, and replace it with some thicker ice."

The setting was a big, snowy Alaskan villiage, with a large ice skating rink in the middle, where water turned to ice. The Mutations were all wearing eskimo attire and skating. The penguins and chickens were also skating, while Thog just wore a scarf.

"Okay, begin rehearsals!", shouted Kermit.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

The sketch began. Thog looked sad, as the Mutations, chickens, and penguins skated by. Janice then skated by Thog.

"Hey, what's wrong?", asked Janice.

"I don't know how to skate at all", said Thog, "I've tried, but I keep falling."

"Well, like, you've got to, like, keep trying", said Janice.

"But the other skaters keep teasing me", said Thog.

The Mutations then skated by, pointing and laughing.

"I'll teach you how to skate", said Janice, "Just follow my steps."

Janice then skated a bit, and Thog repeated, then Janice skated some more, and Thog imitated it.

"I'm getting it!", said a proud Thog.

"Good, good", said Janice, "Now watch me do a figure 8."

Janice did a figure 8, but when she skated out of the way, she fell through the "ice".


"Oh, no!", creid Floyd.

"Everyody stop the rehearsal", said Kermit.

Unfortunately, Thog had started the figure 8 without noticing Janice's accident, and he fell throught he hole, falling on Janice.

"Oh, Thog gets all the action", said a jealous Pepe.

"I'm so sorry", said Thog, who got up off Janice.

"Ohhhhh", moaned Janice, "I think I'm broken."

"Quick! Get her to the hospital!", said Kermit.

Rowlf showed up, dressed as Dr. Bob.

"No need for that", said Rowlf, "I'll check on her."

Rowlf did soem checking, and then...

"Yup, she needs to go to a real hospital."

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 5

So Janice was rushed to the hospital. Kermit and Floyd went along to the hospital.

The nurse checked on Janice.

"Well, your limbs are broken, and you have abad back", said the nurse.

"Will I be able to perform on The Mupet Show this week?", asked Janice.

"No, you'll have to stay in the hospital for a week", said the nurse.

"Oh, bummer", cried Janice.

"What'll we do about her acts?", asked Floyd.

"Well, we could let her go on in a few weeks", said kermit.

Miss Piggy then entered.

"So, how's Janice?", asked Miss Piggy wirth fake concern.

"Oh, she won't be able to go on", said Kermit.

"Well, Moi would happily take her place", said Miss Piggy.

"Fine", said Kermit, "You can be the featured guest star."

"Oh, wow!", said Miss Piggy, "So I get to sing, dance, perform the alaska ice skating sketch, star in Pigs in Space and Vets Hospital..."

"Well, Vets Hospital will have to be cancled", said Kermit, "Janice is in that sketch."

"By the way", said Janice, "Is Thog hurt very badly?"

"No, you broke his fall", said Kermit, "He's only aching a little."

"Well, I think I'll go back to the theater and practice my material", said Miss Piggy.

"I'll have to come with you",s aid Kermit.

"I'll bring the rest of the band over to visit you later", said Floyd.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 6

Back at the theater...

"I fixed the broken part of the stage, boss", said Beauregard.

"Oh, good", said Kermitt.

"I fixed it with bubble gum", said Beauregard.

"Uh, that's not so good", said Kermit.

"Well, I think I can still skate", said Thog, who went on stage and skated, proving himself worthy.

"Well, let's start the rehearsals", said Miss Piggy, "I cannot wait to do the show!"

Miss Piggy went out and skated, but accidently sprained her ankle and slid into Thog, causing Thog to fall backwards and squash Miss Piggy.

"Oh, sorry", said Thog.

"Get off me", demanded Miss Piggy.

"I figured the pig would be heavier, okay", said Pepe.

"Watch it, shrimp!", warned Piggy.

Back at the hospital...

"Well, Janice, we've decided to give you some things", said FLoyd.

"How generous", said Janice.

"I brought you so e flowers", said Floyd.

"CANDY! CANDY!", shouted Animal.

"That's the spirit, Animal", said Dr. Teeth.

"I brought you a note from my sax", said Zoot, who blew a saxaphone note.

"And I brought you a few notes from my trumpet", said Lips, who played a rousing tune.

"Show off", remarked a jealous Zoot.

"And, like, that was more than just a few notes, fer sure!", said Janice.

The nurse then brought Miss Piggy, dressed in full body cast, into the room.

"Here is your room, Miss Piggy', said the nurse.

"Why do I get this room?", asked Piggy.

"You can either share a room with her or a fellow who was invovled in a coffee accident", said the nurse.

"How can one get in a coffee accident?", asked Floyd.

"Well, usually by spilling coffee on oneself", said the nurse, "Though this guy's accident was the result of refusing to drink Wilkins Coffe."

"Well, like, can you bring me a Wilkins?", asked Janice.

A few hors later...

"So, like, what happened to you?", asked Janice.

"Thog fell on me", said Miss Piggy.

"Of cours,e of course", sighed Janice.

"I have to confess", said Piggy, "I was responsible for your injury."
"What?", asked Janice, "But why?"

"I wanted to be heavily featured in the show", said Piggy, "And I decided to get you out of the show in order to do so."

"Well, that makes sense", said Janice, "And you got what you deserved."

"Watch it", warned Piggy.

"Like, you are in a full-body cast", said Janice, "You can't harm me yet."

Kermit then walked in.

"Well, I have no choice but to cancel this weeks show", said Kermit.

"Oh, what a pity", said Miss Piggy.

"I'll tell you what", said Kermit, "Since you get out of the hospital in a week, I'll let you guest star in two weeks."

"Oh, great!", said Janice, "Two big breaks so soon! But, uh, I think we should wait until Piggy heals. She can guest star with me, fer sure!"

"Oh, how nice", said Piggy, "And after what I did to vous."

"Uh, what are you talking about?", asked Kermit.

"Piggy attempted to harm me", said Janice.

"Oh", said Kermit, who suddenly grew devil horns, and fire spreaded from around him, "Well, this is strike thirteen. Your time is up!"

"What?", asked Miss Piggy. Sweetums, Thog, and the rest of the Electric Mayhem then walekd in, all with horns and firey red eyes.

"Come with us", said Sweetums, who grabbed her.

"NOOOOOOOO....", cried Piggy.

Then Piggy woke up, still in a hospital bed.

"What.. What happened?", asked Piggy.

"You've been in a coma for three months", said Kermit.

"Why, Kermie, how'd it happen?", asked Piggy.

Janice then showed up.

"Well, I fell through the hole, then I landed on you, and after I got out of your way, Thog fell through and injured you. You were unconcious."

"Wait... So, you still got your own show?", asked Piggy.

"Fer sure!", said Janice, "But I was so concerned about you, that I could hardly concentrate."

"I am so happy you are alive", said Kermit, "I've been here ever since. Floyd's been hosting in your absense. But since you are back, I would like for you to be in every act next week."

"Oh, how sweet! said Piggy, "Even after that Moi did to Janice?"

"After what?", asked Kermit and Janice, simultaneously.

"Uh... Never mind!", said a nervous Piggy.

The End

 

[minor muppetz]

Man, for the ending, I should have had it revealed that Janice fell through the hole, and after seeing she was alright, Piggy karate-chopped her, and then Thog fell through the hole and landed only on Piggy (as Janice was karate-chopped out of the way).

 

[ElectricMayhem1]

nice story!

 

[LipsGF4Life]

I love that story!Janice and Piggy momento!