Herbert Birdsfoot Teaches Etiquette to Cookie Monster

[wiley207]

Based on an old Animaniacs episode I once saw, I made up a classic-style Sesame Street skit featuring Herbert Birdsfoot and Cookie Monster...

We see Herbert Birdsfoot and Cookie Monster in a big, luxurious dining room, with big chairs, candles, and very fancy, tasty-looking platters, such as a big roast turkey, salads, and more.

Herbert Birdsfoot: Now, Cookie Monster, today I am going to lecture everyone here about proper dinner etiquette. Now sit down in that chair there.

Cookie Monster: FOOD! (runs over to the stuff on the table, but Herbert grabs Cookie and stops him)

Herbert: No, Cookie. I am going to teach you how to eat your food PROPERLY. Please sit down, and don’t touch a morsel until I say so, OK?

Cookie: OK. (sits down on the chair)

Herbert: Now, here is a pitcher of water. Where does your water go?

Cookie: (points to his open mouth) Aah-aah-ah-ah-ah!

Herbert: Yes, the water goes in your mouth, but not from the pitcher. We pour it into the water glass. (holds up a water glass and pours the water in) Now, you drink the water. Here.

Herbert gives Cookie Monster the water glass, who puts the glass in his mouth and eats it with awful crashing sounds!

Cookie: AAAAAHM-num-num-num-num…

Herbert: NO! Cookie Monster! You are NOT supposed to eat the water glass! (gets out another full water glass) Here. Now drink out of it, the RIGHT way.

Cookie: OK. (sips out of the glass neatly) Ah…

Herbert: Good. Now comes phase two… (gets out a plate with a big turkey drumstick on it) To eat this, do NOT use your hands. You use a dinner fork and a steak knife.

Cookie Monster picks up a salad fork and begins to dive it into the drumstick.

Herbert: Cookie, STOP! That is a SALAD fork, not a dinner fork!

Cookie: Oops, me sorry. (gets out the dinner fork and a butter knife)

Herbert: (sighs) Look, you got the dinner fork, but now you have the wrong knife. You have the butter knife! You need the STEAK knife.

Cookie: Butter knife, steak knife, oooh, ME CONFUSED!

Herbert: Don’t worry. After you do it a few times, it gets to become a habit. You will get used to it.

Cookie: Me sorry. (gets his steak knife and dinner fork and begins eating the drumstick)

Later, Cookie has perfectly finished his drumstick.

Cookie: Ooh… exquisite!

Herbert: Good, Cookie Monster! You demonstrated proper etiquette! Now you get dessert… (gets out a plate of cookies)

Cookie: COOKIES! (begins devouring them in a messy manner) AAAAAHM-num-num-num-num…

Herbert Birdsfoot sighs and looks toward the camera.

END

 

[Fragglemuppet]

Very clever idea, but I think it would have been more interesting and informative if you had had Herbert demonstrate the difference between each knife and fork, for me if for no one else.
*wink* It also might have been a nice addition if you had Herbert demonstrate the way to cut the turkey with the knife and fork.
Still, as I said, it was a brilliant inspiration. Do you mind describing the Animaniacs skit this came from?

 

[wiley207]

It's from an episode where the Warner siblings are invited to a formal party, and the first half features Dr. Scratch-n-sniff teaching the kids manners.