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RedPiggy
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DINO AND THE BEAST
Kathy sat in the small folding chair in the front lawn of the Townhouse, nodding appreciatively as Prairie Dawn appeared, dragging a large outdoor umbrella along the ground. Prairie dropped it and panted. “Here … here … here is the umbrella you wanted, Kathy.”
Kathy smiled, nodding. “Thanks, Prairie. That’ll be a big help.” She wiped sweat from her brow and drank a gulp of pink lemonade. “This summer heat is a monster.”
“Hey!” Grover exclaimed as he brought some bench materials. “We monsters take offense at that!”
Kathy smiled sheepishly. “Sorry! You think there’ll be enough seating?”
Grover nodded. “The dinosaurs will need some stronger seating other than these cute little wooden benches, but otherwise, we will have enough.”
Kathy nodded and stared at the impromptu stage that was being built just ahead of her. She glanced at Prairie Dawn. “You don’t mind me directing this, do you?”
Prairie shook her head and giggled. “Go ahead! I don’t mind! This is going to be a long and dramatic play anyway. I like mine short and sweet.” She buried her head in her hands and giggled again. “Kelly said the play could be over four hours long.”
Kathy chuckled. “Well, we’ll see about that. Even with an umbrella, I’m not sitting out here in a hot July afternoon for four hours.”
A short rotund blue-skinned humanoid Muppet appeared with some speakers on a cart being dragged behind him, nodding. “Yes,” he said, “we’ll all ….” He completed his sentence with the sound of eggs frying.
Grover walked over to the new resident of the Townhouse. “Simon! I did not know you had moved in! What is your part in the play?”
Simon shrugged. “I’m doing the …,” he said, adding a short wistful trombone piece that sounded like the prologue theme of the play, “… and the …,” he added, continuing with a wide range of sound effects, such as gunshots and galloping horses.
They all stopped as they felt a strange thumping sensation on the ground. Kathy looked at her lemonade glass, watching as the ripples coincided with the sound. She glanced at Prairie, whose eyes were about to fall off of her head, as she continued to crane her neck up … and up … and ….
“Is dis da play?” a baritone male voice asked plainly.
Kathy turned and looked up and found a brown Tyrannosaur, wearing a blue t-shirt with white snowflakes painted on it. He looked at the stage.
Kathy nodded slowly. This was the first time she’d ever seen a Tyrannosaur – in real life. Sure, there were television and movies … but they were always scary. This one seemed … not so much. “Uh, yes, we’re having a play here,” she finally managed to say after staring at him for several moments.
“Gosh, you’re big,” Prairie gasped quietly.
The Tyrannosaur nodded and looked down, cocking his head to the side to see the little girl better. He grinned. “You t’ink so? I’m actually kind of a runt in my species.” He nodded at Kathy. “I’m Roy Hess, by da way. Dis human female named Kelly showed up an’ asked us all ta come here an’ do dis play t’ing, which I’m kinda glad ta do, as dere really hasn’t been a whole lot ta do what wit’ da extinction of our species an’ everyt’ing.”
“Um,” Kathy began slowly, with a smile, “well, we’re glad to have you. I had no idea you survived.”
Roy nodded. “Well, da Comeback version o’ me didn’t quite make it, but since it’d be kinda hard ta have a play wit’ lots o’ characters an’ only have a couple o’ playahs around, Kelly found it necessary ta fly to Oregon an’ come get us Flick Fic Dinosaurs, since we survived da uttah degradation of our society in dat version.”
“Oh,” replied Kathy, Grover, Simon, and Prairie. They glanced at each other. Mixing fanfic universes might make it far more confusing.
After a few hours, the stage was set. A bunch of goblins had generously agreed to provide some hidden mechanisms from the Goblin Kingdom’s Labyrinth in order to reveal and hide the different set pieces. The benches were filled with Muppet and human residents of the Townhouse. Ed sat next to Uncle Deadly and Count von Count on the front row. Tony had his hand firmly planted on the torso of a struggling Lefty as he tried to “get in on the watchamacallit deal”. Meanwhile, Roosevelt Franklin kept stealing Newsie’s (Clyde’s?) glasses and running around, laughing. Ailie and Caitlyn hopped onto a bench, surrounded by Zoot, Dr. Teeth, Digit, Vicki, Joëlle, and Clover. Ernie and Bert bickered quietly as they headed to a bench in the back, loaded down with Logan’s Milk Duds and popcorn and Twizzlers and lemonade.
Finally, Kermit and Piggy sat down on a bench, while Piggy was fanned by Scooter.
Kermit glanced quizzically at Piggy. “You mean you aren’t starring in this?”
“And be called a beast?” Piggy asked, offended. “Surely vous jest!” She grunted at Scooter. “Don’t let up on the manual air conditioning, kid.”
Scooter sighed. “Right,” he affirmed. After a pause, he muttered under his breath, “Why didn’t Kelly bring Skeeter over here? Skeeter’s off playing in Fraggle Rock while I get stuck airing out the hog.”
“What?” Piggy growled.
“Nothing!” Scooter protested nervously. “I was saying I’m glad that Jareth didn’t force Kelly to have this play in the Bog!”
“Oh,” Piggy replied. She sighed, leaning her head on Kermit’s narrow shoulder, making him scrunch down slightly under the weight. “Oh, Kermie … Beauty and the Beast is such a wonderful romantic drama. Don’t you agree?”
Kermit gulped. “Uh, yeah. Quite frankly, I always kind of found it strange.”
Piggy sat erect. “How so?”
Kermit shrugged. “Don’t you find it peculiar that a prince can just hole himself up in a castle with spooky goings-on and no one in his kingdom seems to notice?”
Piggy stared at him dryly. “I highly doubt he updated his Facebook page to say he had transformed into a furry action figure,” she told him, rolling her eyes.
Others shushed them as Simon started to play the prologue theme of the story, though it was more foreboding than the movie’s. Kelly’s voice could be heard as she rose from a hole in the stage.
“A long time ago, there was a run-down old blues shack that had become a cesspool of scum and villainy,” she stated in monotone.
Digit gawked. “I can’t believe she’s mixing Star Wars into this,” he whispered to Vicki. He flashed a quick smirk. “This is why we got along so well.”
Kelly stood on the empty stage, continuing her narration, though she was dressed like Belle, which wasn’t that much of a stretch, since she had her brown hair in a ponytail most of the time anyway, but instead of a dress, she wore a thin white jacket over a robin’s egg-blue t-shirt and blue jeans and brown sneakers. “Inside lived the Scourge of the Swamp, a thing to be feared throughout all of Pangaea, with the exception of the Richfield family,” she added with a grin. “He prided himself on getting any female he could lay his claws on, though he was left wondering if any of them would truly love him as an equal and not as just some,” she paused, waving a paper fan in front of her due to the heat, but the action left everyone giggling because it looked like she was fangirling over the one they quickly figured out would play the male lead, “beefy scaly blue god.”
More snickering from the audience occurred.
Uncle Deadly glanced at the Count. “I wonder how she convinced him to star in this play.”
The Count shrugged. “I shall, perhaps, count the vays … one, she could have --.”
“SHHHHHHH!”
Kelly winked at the Count. “Still, many years passed, and he had begun to lose all hope. However, one fateful day, he came upon a suburban town where everyone tried to be happy and joyous and mirthful.” She chuckled. Behind her, a video screen rose from the floor, and Kelly could be seen pulling on Spike’s tail as he dug his claws into the bar counter in New Pangaea. “Get the lead out!” she screamed. “You’re doing this whether you like it or not!”
“I don’t do foo-foo fairy tales!” he protested, a maddening screech left by his claws as she tried to drag him out of Pearl’s saloon while Pearl and the other patrons laughed.
On stage, Kelly grinned, twisting slightly. If she were a cat, her tail’d be twitching with evil delight. “Despite his misgivings, he began to be curious. Could he ever find true love in such a nightmarish town?” Kelly descended into the floor as cardboard versions of Hensonville buildings rose up in the background, the music an instrumental version of Happiness Hotel.
Cantus Fraggle and Red Fraggle bounded onto the stage, Red dancing as Cantus adding to Simon’s instrumental song with his magic pipe. Kelly returned as Beth, T, and Liza surrounded her.
Kelly sighed. “You know what?”
“What?” asked the female trio.
“It sucks to be me!” Kelly blurted out. “I’m not butt ugly and I’ve got an IQ. I can’t imagine why I don’t have a boyfriend, can you?”
“But you have a career,” Beth noted.
T nodded. “You make over fifty thousand a year!”
Liza hugged Kelly, who still didn’t seem convinced. “And you even just made Minstrel, we hear!”
Kelly gently pushed Liza out of the way and shook her head. “I just started that job and my spine’s out of whack – if the house wasn’t paid for, I’d be living in a shack!”
Statler and Waldorf, who had just joined the audience, booed and hissed.
“The tale’s as old as time, but that doesn’t mean you have to incessantly rhyme!” Waldorf groused.
Statler nodded, crossing his arms defiantly. “Ever just the same!”
Waldorf chuckled. “Never a surprise!”
They both added loudly, “Ever as before, we can be just as sure, how the end’ll arise!”
TO BE CONTINUED….
Kathy sat in the small folding chair in the front lawn of the Townhouse, nodding appreciatively as Prairie Dawn appeared, dragging a large outdoor umbrella along the ground. Prairie dropped it and panted. “Here … here … here is the umbrella you wanted, Kathy.”
Kathy smiled, nodding. “Thanks, Prairie. That’ll be a big help.” She wiped sweat from her brow and drank a gulp of pink lemonade. “This summer heat is a monster.”
“Hey!” Grover exclaimed as he brought some bench materials. “We monsters take offense at that!”
Kathy smiled sheepishly. “Sorry! You think there’ll be enough seating?”
Grover nodded. “The dinosaurs will need some stronger seating other than these cute little wooden benches, but otherwise, we will have enough.”
Kathy nodded and stared at the impromptu stage that was being built just ahead of her. She glanced at Prairie Dawn. “You don’t mind me directing this, do you?”
Prairie shook her head and giggled. “Go ahead! I don’t mind! This is going to be a long and dramatic play anyway. I like mine short and sweet.” She buried her head in her hands and giggled again. “Kelly said the play could be over four hours long.”
Kathy chuckled. “Well, we’ll see about that. Even with an umbrella, I’m not sitting out here in a hot July afternoon for four hours.”
A short rotund blue-skinned humanoid Muppet appeared with some speakers on a cart being dragged behind him, nodding. “Yes,” he said, “we’ll all ….” He completed his sentence with the sound of eggs frying.
Grover walked over to the new resident of the Townhouse. “Simon! I did not know you had moved in! What is your part in the play?”
Simon shrugged. “I’m doing the …,” he said, adding a short wistful trombone piece that sounded like the prologue theme of the play, “… and the …,” he added, continuing with a wide range of sound effects, such as gunshots and galloping horses.
They all stopped as they felt a strange thumping sensation on the ground. Kathy looked at her lemonade glass, watching as the ripples coincided with the sound. She glanced at Prairie, whose eyes were about to fall off of her head, as she continued to crane her neck up … and up … and ….
“Is dis da play?” a baritone male voice asked plainly.
Kathy turned and looked up and found a brown Tyrannosaur, wearing a blue t-shirt with white snowflakes painted on it. He looked at the stage.
Kathy nodded slowly. This was the first time she’d ever seen a Tyrannosaur – in real life. Sure, there were television and movies … but they were always scary. This one seemed … not so much. “Uh, yes, we’re having a play here,” she finally managed to say after staring at him for several moments.
“Gosh, you’re big,” Prairie gasped quietly.
The Tyrannosaur nodded and looked down, cocking his head to the side to see the little girl better. He grinned. “You t’ink so? I’m actually kind of a runt in my species.” He nodded at Kathy. “I’m Roy Hess, by da way. Dis human female named Kelly showed up an’ asked us all ta come here an’ do dis play t’ing, which I’m kinda glad ta do, as dere really hasn’t been a whole lot ta do what wit’ da extinction of our species an’ everyt’ing.”
“Um,” Kathy began slowly, with a smile, “well, we’re glad to have you. I had no idea you survived.”
Roy nodded. “Well, da Comeback version o’ me didn’t quite make it, but since it’d be kinda hard ta have a play wit’ lots o’ characters an’ only have a couple o’ playahs around, Kelly found it necessary ta fly to Oregon an’ come get us Flick Fic Dinosaurs, since we survived da uttah degradation of our society in dat version.”
“Oh,” replied Kathy, Grover, Simon, and Prairie. They glanced at each other. Mixing fanfic universes might make it far more confusing.
After a few hours, the stage was set. A bunch of goblins had generously agreed to provide some hidden mechanisms from the Goblin Kingdom’s Labyrinth in order to reveal and hide the different set pieces. The benches were filled with Muppet and human residents of the Townhouse. Ed sat next to Uncle Deadly and Count von Count on the front row. Tony had his hand firmly planted on the torso of a struggling Lefty as he tried to “get in on the watchamacallit deal”. Meanwhile, Roosevelt Franklin kept stealing Newsie’s (Clyde’s?) glasses and running around, laughing. Ailie and Caitlyn hopped onto a bench, surrounded by Zoot, Dr. Teeth, Digit, Vicki, Joëlle, and Clover. Ernie and Bert bickered quietly as they headed to a bench in the back, loaded down with Logan’s Milk Duds and popcorn and Twizzlers and lemonade.
Finally, Kermit and Piggy sat down on a bench, while Piggy was fanned by Scooter.
Kermit glanced quizzically at Piggy. “You mean you aren’t starring in this?”
“And be called a beast?” Piggy asked, offended. “Surely vous jest!” She grunted at Scooter. “Don’t let up on the manual air conditioning, kid.”
Scooter sighed. “Right,” he affirmed. After a pause, he muttered under his breath, “Why didn’t Kelly bring Skeeter over here? Skeeter’s off playing in Fraggle Rock while I get stuck airing out the hog.”
“What?” Piggy growled.
“Nothing!” Scooter protested nervously. “I was saying I’m glad that Jareth didn’t force Kelly to have this play in the Bog!”
“Oh,” Piggy replied. She sighed, leaning her head on Kermit’s narrow shoulder, making him scrunch down slightly under the weight. “Oh, Kermie … Beauty and the Beast is such a wonderful romantic drama. Don’t you agree?”
Kermit gulped. “Uh, yeah. Quite frankly, I always kind of found it strange.”
Piggy sat erect. “How so?”
Kermit shrugged. “Don’t you find it peculiar that a prince can just hole himself up in a castle with spooky goings-on and no one in his kingdom seems to notice?”
Piggy stared at him dryly. “I highly doubt he updated his Facebook page to say he had transformed into a furry action figure,” she told him, rolling her eyes.
Others shushed them as Simon started to play the prologue theme of the story, though it was more foreboding than the movie’s. Kelly’s voice could be heard as she rose from a hole in the stage.
“A long time ago, there was a run-down old blues shack that had become a cesspool of scum and villainy,” she stated in monotone.
Digit gawked. “I can’t believe she’s mixing Star Wars into this,” he whispered to Vicki. He flashed a quick smirk. “This is why we got along so well.”
Kelly stood on the empty stage, continuing her narration, though she was dressed like Belle, which wasn’t that much of a stretch, since she had her brown hair in a ponytail most of the time anyway, but instead of a dress, she wore a thin white jacket over a robin’s egg-blue t-shirt and blue jeans and brown sneakers. “Inside lived the Scourge of the Swamp, a thing to be feared throughout all of Pangaea, with the exception of the Richfield family,” she added with a grin. “He prided himself on getting any female he could lay his claws on, though he was left wondering if any of them would truly love him as an equal and not as just some,” she paused, waving a paper fan in front of her due to the heat, but the action left everyone giggling because it looked like she was fangirling over the one they quickly figured out would play the male lead, “beefy scaly blue god.”
More snickering from the audience occurred.
Uncle Deadly glanced at the Count. “I wonder how she convinced him to star in this play.”
The Count shrugged. “I shall, perhaps, count the vays … one, she could have --.”
“SHHHHHHH!”
Kelly winked at the Count. “Still, many years passed, and he had begun to lose all hope. However, one fateful day, he came upon a suburban town where everyone tried to be happy and joyous and mirthful.” She chuckled. Behind her, a video screen rose from the floor, and Kelly could be seen pulling on Spike’s tail as he dug his claws into the bar counter in New Pangaea. “Get the lead out!” she screamed. “You’re doing this whether you like it or not!”
“I don’t do foo-foo fairy tales!” he protested, a maddening screech left by his claws as she tried to drag him out of Pearl’s saloon while Pearl and the other patrons laughed.
On stage, Kelly grinned, twisting slightly. If she were a cat, her tail’d be twitching with evil delight. “Despite his misgivings, he began to be curious. Could he ever find true love in such a nightmarish town?” Kelly descended into the floor as cardboard versions of Hensonville buildings rose up in the background, the music an instrumental version of Happiness Hotel.
Cantus Fraggle and Red Fraggle bounded onto the stage, Red dancing as Cantus adding to Simon’s instrumental song with his magic pipe. Kelly returned as Beth, T, and Liza surrounded her.
Kelly sighed. “You know what?”
“What?” asked the female trio.
“It sucks to be me!” Kelly blurted out. “I’m not butt ugly and I’ve got an IQ. I can’t imagine why I don’t have a boyfriend, can you?”
“But you have a career,” Beth noted.
T nodded. “You make over fifty thousand a year!”
Liza hugged Kelly, who still didn’t seem convinced. “And you even just made Minstrel, we hear!”
Kelly gently pushed Liza out of the way and shook her head. “I just started that job and my spine’s out of whack – if the house wasn’t paid for, I’d be living in a shack!”
Statler and Waldorf, who had just joined the audience, booed and hissed.
“The tale’s as old as time, but that doesn’t mean you have to incessantly rhyme!” Waldorf groused.
Statler nodded, crossing his arms defiantly. “Ever just the same!”
Waldorf chuckled. “Never a surprise!”
They both added loudly, “Ever as before, we can be just as sure, how the end’ll arise!”
TO BE CONTINUED….
NOT to be a nag...but MORE!MORE!