Hensonville Histories.

[The Count]

Chapter 1: Hometown.

Not every tale has an ending, though you'll find that they inevitably have a beginning. So it was with that amphibious entertainer and his troop of theater crazies. Tired of meandering through the streets of the indistinct cities their touring travels took them, they sought to cure their aching souls by claiming a stake to one last chance. "Go home! Go home!" cried out the frenzied drummer of the mainstay musical band. The problem with that was, of course, there was no home to go home to. "What about the theater, my uncle still owns that..." proposed the red-haired gofer, nestled in between the lovebirds—if you could call a white plumed piece of poultry and a blueish furred hooknosed whatever lovebirds. "Destination: The Benny Vanderghast Memorial Theater!" cried out Mrs. Emily Bear, already chomping at the bit to get this whirlwind trip over with—heedless of what the posted speed limitations might say—the bus swerved left and right in a crazy figure eight maneuver that left only Gonzo cheering for more.

A phantomly claw unlocked the back alley doors, admitting his visitors back from their nationwide sojourn. "So tell me frog, any good spooks along the way? Any ghostcards you were meaning to fright?" "Sheesh, you're going to use up all the good jokes." "Yeah, leave some for the bear, he needs all the good jokes he can get" followed the laughing voice of the band's hep guitarist. "Kermie, will we have to stay long in this... venue?" "Uncle Kermit, did you see the statue they had in the park?" "Like, I sure hope we can get back to doing the moovies." Ivories started to tinkle as brown paws graced the old keyboard, filtering out the nuggets of conversation that truly mattered. Kermit was truly hopeful—or should that be hopful—that they would be able to settle down here in this little slice of suburban America. "What was this town called again?" the frog thought to himself—and maybe just loud enough for a passing patron of the arts to hear him. "Hensonville. Welcome , Mayor Chapman at your service."

 

[muppetwriter]

Wow. Great start, Count.

Great description of each of the Muppets, and you seem to be setting up quite a story in a perfect way. Can't wait to read more.

 

[theprawncracker]

OOH! I love it Ed!! Great job!! Very funny lines! Can't wait for more!

 

[redBoobergurl]

Ooh!!! Love it from the start! And it was a nice touch to add "Welcome, Mayor Chapman at your service" Very nice indeed! Looking forward to more!

 

[The Count]

Hey Prawn... Congrats on grolling double 89's.

Mooooooore you say? You're in luck, just so happens I have the next segment ready.

 

[The Count]

Chapter 2: A House Divided.

So it came to be in the year 1998, Kermit and the rest of his Muppet gang pooled their moneys together to purchase a townhouse apartment in Hensonville. Mayor Chapman had been most helpful in sending over a few people to install the phone wires and electric wires—not the easiest task in the world when a self-proclaimed explosives enthusiast such as Crazy Harry aids his talents to the chore. Sam, that most patriotic of eagles, was already tending to the front lawn. "Get off of my Kentucky bluegrass you weirdos!" he could be heard arguing with some of his fratmates. Running water and even a jacuzzi helped alleviate bathroom tensions. Boomerang fish flying through the air, penguins being tossed skywards out back by Sweetums, channel surfing by the two old coots planted in matching armchairs... Yes, these were all signs that the Muppets had made themselves at home here in this hamlet.

"Are you sure this is the place?" asked a nervous comedian—fingers twirling his necktie besmirched with many a pink polka dot. "Don't worry, Phillip gave me directions" his frog friend replied, his eyes looking over the emerald green office edifice. The signpost outside told them this was indeed what they were looking for—Piggy humming to herself an airy melody—recognizing the title from one of their old songs as memories of dancing the night away with her Kermie danced through her head. "The First Time It Happens, yep, let's go in." The trio ascended the steps of a stone staircase until reaching a plate glass windowed door. The name on the outside said Catherine" whereas the woman inside called out "Come on in, door's open!" Fozzie ambled up to the desk, proffering up the two plush maroon cushioned chairs to Kermit and Piggy. He steadfastly refused to take either of the seats—protectively, if not a bit timidly watching over his best friend in the world. The bear's eyes spied a container of sorts, putting nose to work and smelling fresh honey cinnamon cakes. "Help yourself" the southern woman rang, "I'll be there in a second." Kermit prefered to pass while Piggy took a dainty morsel—remembering she was here on business—before Fozzie bravely plunged paw into peril, retrieving his golden treasures. There came a breath of warm yet comfortable southern air when Catherine made her presence known. Red hair flowing in a blaze of sunlight behind her, hazel eyes twinkling—to the point you'd think they were two embers of applewood smoke—dressed to impress her new clients. "Well, well... Fozzie Bear, and Kermit T. Frog... And Miss Piggy, darling, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?"

Introductions made and selling points determined, all sallied forth to view the property, Fozzie opting to return to the MBH reassured in trusting the power couple would be safe with their new human friend. Piggy loved her frog dearly—even a toddler knew that was evident when she flashed her blue bejeweled eyes at him—but living in that boarding house with the rest of her acting colleagues was too much for the diva. Thanks to her own separate savings account, the primadonna pig could afford to at least attempt to gain some peace of mind—not to mention some much-needed privacy—after being convinced by Ru, as the real estate agent was more comfortable in being called. Piggy was surprised to find a few familiar faces behind the doors of her new uptown apartment. "Oh hi Miss Piggy" greeted a furry creature with a squeaky Brooklyn accent. "Who's at the door dearie?" asked an older sounding woman's voice. "Oh my, Miss Piggy! And Kermit! Well, heavens to betsy, it's been ages since we've seen either of you." Kermit held his hand out, taking the one belonging to Mildred Huxtetter while Maureen, as the mink was named, kept gushing over her long-time idol. The landlady's glasses then swiveled off to examine her new tennant, thoroughly engrossed in women's talk with her and Maureen and Catherine. "Well, um... If noone needs me..." the amphibian said—in spite of the girly giggles around and apart from him at the same time—he walked down the street to a simple little coffee shop that had caught his Saturnian peepers.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Loving this! Nice introduction to Catherine and so appropriate that her roomies were the first to meet her. This is really great Ed, I want to keep reading!

 

[The Count]

OK... So you guys know... The first half of the story centers on building the town. So if you want in on this...
1 PM or send me an E-mail message through the forums or straight to my addy, which some of you happen to have, of how to describe you if you want to appear in as grand a first appearance as Cath/Ru above. Though prefering to be refered to simply by name is OK, I'd like it better to know more about the people I've come to consider friends here on the forums.
2 LMK what shop/store/workplace you want to have, what it's funny or punny little name should be, and what details are essential to establish that said workplace is your own.
There are some I already have from previous fanfics, but I want to know more about my friends as mentioned previously.

Welcome everybody who wants to be part of this... And I'll have to contact a few people about the second half of the story, more on that when we get to it.
Enjoy and spread the word!

 

[muppetwriter]

It's looking real awesome, Count. Keep the chapters coming. I'll send you an email in a moment.

 

[The Count]

Chapter 3: J, Jim, Let's Join with Him.

Kermit's flippery feet hit the sidewalk, moving away from the center of attention that was Piggy's perfect new apartment. A tune in his head, he almost absently passed by the two-story building, red bricks piled high cemented in place at the corner of the block. Fresh scents wafted through the half-open doors, while the sign swung in the breeze from its bracketed post tucked into the underside of the joint's navy blue awning. Golden cup with a foamy steaming 11 told the frog this was the place for a cup of joe, in spite of it being named Jim's Coffee House. Almost noone was within sight, the place devoid of life save for the lone brown-bearded figure working the register. The stranger eyed the amphibian, a smile on his face as flipper struck on cold stone floor and steered clear of the cherrywood tables and chairs. He opted for one of those round stools along the highly polished counter, eyes taking in all the memories from the Muppet posters hanging on the washed white walls. "Hi there friend, long time no see" the shopkeep's voice said, snapping the green one back to reality. "Huh?" he said unbelievingly, "Jim?" "Hi Kermit, how's life treating you?" "Aw, it's great to see you again. But didn't you..." "Shush, the others don't need to know that." "Oh, OK. Listen, could I have a cup of coffee?" "Wilkins 57?" "Um, maybe you'd better make that just a dragonfly ripple instead." "Gotcha. Oh, Phillip's upstairs on the second floor." "Really?" "Yeah, he's looking for you, says he wants to talk about something big he's planning."

Spiral staircases wrapped around and around leading Kermit to the upstairs landing after he finished his delicious dessert, Jim pushing the giant Muppet Show poster to the side choosing to go downstairs at the same time unknownst to the frog. Plush green carpeting masked the flippersteps, comfortable couches and squishy chairs lined along to both sides with a smattering of fancy tables. Kermit made his way to the very edge, mesmorized by the view of the theater behind the coffee house's bay windows. "Over here Kermit" called Mayor Chapman. He was seated in one of the larger armchairs, sipping on a brew of hazelnut mixed with just a hint of nutmeg. "So what did you want to talk to me about Phil?" "Well, it's something very exciting. See, our little town's become quite famous now that you and the Muppets have settled here." "Hmmm..." Kermit mused, wondering where this would lead. "And we want to open it up so that all the people who live here can chat away about their Muppet memories and whatever other questions or topics they may have." "And why can't they do that now?" "Well, they can, but this would be an option for them to communicate and create a community of their own online. Sort of like a real forum, but through their computers. There'd be moderators making sure that the content is family friendly and everybody does their best to get along, even if some fights do happen to break out." This idea appealed to Kermit, it would help the Muppets to get to know more about their neighbors and their hometown. "So how does this affect us Phil?" "Well, I was thinking, that if you like, you could be part of this community, create your own accounts and chat with people... Only if you wanted to though." "Mmm, does this online place have a name?" "We were thinking of naming it... Muppet Central." That made the frog smile broadly and warmly, "I think that's a good name. You have our blessing Phil." "Thank you Kermit, you won't regret it." The two shook hands sealing the deal, creating what would become a great partnership.

Jim tiptoed past the paintings of his fellow Muppeteers... Rubber chickens and fake glasses strewn on the table, not to mention a bright red rowing shell located in the corner of the room. The young man was nervous, anyone would be, after being briefed by members of the Muppeteer Undercover Police Protection Enforcement Taskforce (better known as M.U.P.P.E.T.). "OK kid, Burbank gave you the lo' down?" "Yes sir, Mr. Leland sir." "Good. Wait a second... Is this name correct?" "Yes, agent Fozzie Bear reporting for duty." "Then how come you spelled it with the number 3?" The young man was confused for a moment, not comprehending the question put to him until Jim leaned over and showed him the name card signed "Fozzi3 B3ar". "Oh, sorry... I feel so embarrassed" he said retreating back into his own lament. "Don't worry, I'll talk to Phil and he'll have it changed. For now, we'll just call you "Memphis", though everybody else'll know you as Kevin." Kevin stood and saluted "Yes sir!" "You'll do fine, now get out there and start patrolling the streets." Discharged and reenvigorated, Kevin assumed his marching orders proudly. Little did he know that he would be known as Officer Kevin, chief lawman of MC. The man, the badge, the Foz, the P... I...