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TotallySpiesFan
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OK, here is a script, and I hope you will think it's excellent. It might be the same thing on "Audience Lunch", though.
(The scene is the lobby of MGM Grand Hotel. Roger works there. Guy Smiley enters the hotel.)
ROGER: (clears throat) Good evening, Mr. Guy Smiley! Welcome to the "Atlantic Plaza", hotel of the famous stars of television and movies. We have over 5044 deluxe rooms, five swimming pools, a convention center, the MGM Grand Arena, CBS Television City, the Grand Spa, numerous shops and night clubs, nine restaurants, two food courts, the largest casino in Las Vegas, and a lion habitat.
GUY SMILEY: Thank you, Roger. I hope you have a lot of these rooms for us, because today I, Guy Smiley, America's favorite game-show host, am taking my entire studio audience out for my big vacation!!!
(Game-show music starts playing. Minor characters from "Sesame Street", "The Muppet Show", "Fraggle Rock", "Muppets Tonight", "Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas", "Dog City", "The Jim Henson Hour", "Little Muppet Monsters", "Puppetman", "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs", "The Wubbulous World Of Dr. Seuss", "Song Of the Cloud Forest", "The Christmas Toy", "Jim Henson's Animal Show", "The Ghost Of Faffner Hall", "Muppet Treasure Island", "Muppet Musicians of Bremen", "The Tale of Bunny Picnic", Otto Octopus of the video "It's Not Easy Bein' Green", and a Christmas Turkey of "Muppet Family Christmas" (as audience members) burst in with excitement.)
ROGER: Very good. Very good. (as game-show music starts fading away) Unfortunately, I must know how many people are in your entire studio audience.
GUY SMILEY: But why, Roger? Why?
ROGER: Because we may not have enough rooms for them and there are so many guests that have to stay in their own rooms....(Guy and the audience members become disappointed in a few seconds) but I think we do.
(Guy and the audience members become very happy with excitement)
GUY SMILEY: Oh good! Very good, Roger! (To all audience members) All right, studio audience members, step right up and be counted!
(time-clock music from "To Tell A Face" and "Say the Word" starts playing. The audience members walk into a line as Roger counts them.)
ROGER: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16...
GUY SMILEY: (to 17th audience member) Come on. Step right through.
ROGER: 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32...
GUY SMILEY: (to 33rd audience member) Move on now! Move on!
ROGER: 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48...
GUY SMILEY: (to 49th audience member) Go on! Move!
ROGER: 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64...
GUY SMILEY: (to 65th audience member) Step along, buddy!
ROGER: 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80...
GUY SMILEY: (to 81st audience member) Keep going, keep going.
ROGER: 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96...
GUY SMILEY: (to 97th audience member) Step up right now! Keep moving.
ROGER: 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112...
GUY SMILEY: (to 113rd audience member) Step up as you please.
ROGER: 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125...
GUY SMILEY (to 126th audience member) Keep up the counting!
ROGER: 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142...
GUY SMILEY (to 143rd audience member) Follow up, pal! Follow up!
ROGER: 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164...
GUY SMILEY: (to 165th audience member) Come on now. Don't be shy. Move on!
ROGER: 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183...
GUY SMILEY (to 184th audience member) Walk up straight!
ROGER: 184, 185, 186, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206...
GUY SMILEY (to 207th audience member) Keep moving! Keep moving!
ROGER: 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222, 223, 224, 225...
GUY SMILEY (to 226th audience member) Come on! Get going!
ROGER: 226, 227, 228, 229, 230, 231, 232, 233, 234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241, 240, 241, 242...
GUY SMILEY (to 243rd audience member) Walk up straight!
ROGER: 243, 244, 245, 246, 247, 248, 249, 250, 251, 252, 253, 254, 255, 256, 257, 258, 259, 260, 261...
GUY SMILEY: (to 262nd audience member) Get along now. Get along.
ROGER: 262, 263, 264, 265, 266, 267, 268, 269, 270, 271, 272, 273, 274, 275, 276, 277, 278, 279, 280...
GUY SMILEY: (as 281st audience member follows up) Step up right through!
ROGER: 281, 282, 283, 284, 285, 286, 287, 288, 289, 290, 291, 292, 293, 294, 295, 296, 297, 298... (as time-clock music stops playing) 299.
GUY SMILEY: There are 299 in my studio audience!!! (Crowd off-screen cheers) (angrily staring at Pierre) Well, Roger?
ROGER: Well,...YOU'RE IN LUCK! WE HAVE THE SPECIAL: VACATION FOR 299!!!!!
GUY SMILEY: (as game-show music plays again) Wonderful, Roger!!! That's great news!!!
ROGER: YES! WE HAVE 109 VACANT ROOMS FOR YOUR AUDIENCE PEOPLE! (To all audience members) OK, you guys, find yourself rooms! They're on the 4th, 6th, 11th, 12th, 16th, 19th, and 29th floors!
GUY SMILEY: Thank you so much for where they have to stay in, Roger! Hey! Don't you know who you forgot to count?
ROGER: No, Mr. Smiley. What did I forget to count?
GUY SMILEY: You forgot to count me!
ROGER: Oh! You are right, Mr. Smiley! You and all of your audience people make 300!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! That's great! Thank you! (as game-show music starts fading away again) Now, I'm gonna relax and have a fun time during my vacation....
ROGER: Oh no you can't! You can't go in there!
GUY SMILEY: Why not?
ROGER: There aren't any more vacant rooms for you right now. We do not have the special Vacation for 300 BUT we do have Vacation for 249!
GUY SMILEY: *sigh* No, you don't understand! I'm taking them for my vacation! That's my studio audience vacation and I want to have fun!
(Chester McGrath (purple AM) enters)
CHESTER McGRATH: Mmm-hmm. Chester McGrath here for a three-day vacation.
ROGER: Yes, and welcome to MGM Grand Hotel! The guests from Room 283 will be out in a moment. (To Guy) It's OK, I will find you a vacant room for you to sleep in. Just wait patiently.
GUY SMILEY: But, but...(as game-show music plays again) (to Chester McGraph) Oh! Chester McGraph, would you like to have a vacation with Guy Smiley, America's favorite game-show host? Huh? (Chester ignores him.)
(Mr. Simon (blue AM) enters)
GUY SMILEY: Hey! Mr. Simon! Are you a friend of mine?
MR. SIMON: No! (walks away)
(The Rogers family enters)
GUY SMILEY: Mr. & Mrs. Rogers, would you like to have a vacation with Guy Smiley, America's favorite game show host? (they start ignoring him. Ms. Lodge enters.) Ms. Lodge! Are you a friend of mine?
MS. LODGE: No! (goes to the waiting room)
GUY SMILEY: I don't understand this! Oh! (to bellhop) Bellhop! Bellhop! I need a vacant room immediately!! (pause) I guess...I guess...I'll wait by the plants until someone is finished with his vacation, perhaps...
Do you like my script?
(The scene is the lobby of MGM Grand Hotel. Roger works there. Guy Smiley enters the hotel.)
ROGER: (clears throat) Good evening, Mr. Guy Smiley! Welcome to the "Atlantic Plaza", hotel of the famous stars of television and movies. We have over 5044 deluxe rooms, five swimming pools, a convention center, the MGM Grand Arena, CBS Television City, the Grand Spa, numerous shops and night clubs, nine restaurants, two food courts, the largest casino in Las Vegas, and a lion habitat.
GUY SMILEY: Thank you, Roger. I hope you have a lot of these rooms for us, because today I, Guy Smiley, America's favorite game-show host, am taking my entire studio audience out for my big vacation!!!
(Game-show music starts playing. Minor characters from "Sesame Street", "The Muppet Show", "Fraggle Rock", "Muppets Tonight", "Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas", "Dog City", "The Jim Henson Hour", "Little Muppet Monsters", "Puppetman", "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs", "The Wubbulous World Of Dr. Seuss", "Song Of the Cloud Forest", "The Christmas Toy", "Jim Henson's Animal Show", "The Ghost Of Faffner Hall", "Muppet Treasure Island", "Muppet Musicians of Bremen", "The Tale of Bunny Picnic", Otto Octopus of the video "It's Not Easy Bein' Green", and a Christmas Turkey of "Muppet Family Christmas" (as audience members) burst in with excitement.)
ROGER: Very good. Very good. (as game-show music starts fading away) Unfortunately, I must know how many people are in your entire studio audience.
GUY SMILEY: But why, Roger? Why?
ROGER: Because we may not have enough rooms for them and there are so many guests that have to stay in their own rooms....(Guy and the audience members become disappointed in a few seconds) but I think we do.
(Guy and the audience members become very happy with excitement)
GUY SMILEY: Oh good! Very good, Roger! (To all audience members) All right, studio audience members, step right up and be counted!
(time-clock music from "To Tell A Face" and "Say the Word" starts playing. The audience members walk into a line as Roger counts them.)
ROGER: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16...
GUY SMILEY: (to 17th audience member) Come on. Step right through.
ROGER: 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32...
GUY SMILEY: (to 33rd audience member) Move on now! Move on!
ROGER: 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48...
GUY SMILEY: (to 49th audience member) Go on! Move!
ROGER: 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64...
GUY SMILEY: (to 65th audience member) Step along, buddy!
ROGER: 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80...
GUY SMILEY: (to 81st audience member) Keep going, keep going.
ROGER: 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96...
GUY SMILEY: (to 97th audience member) Step up right now! Keep moving.
ROGER: 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112...
GUY SMILEY: (to 113rd audience member) Step up as you please.
ROGER: 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125...
GUY SMILEY (to 126th audience member) Keep up the counting!
ROGER: 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142...
GUY SMILEY (to 143rd audience member) Follow up, pal! Follow up!
ROGER: 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164...
GUY SMILEY: (to 165th audience member) Come on now. Don't be shy. Move on!
ROGER: 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183...
GUY SMILEY (to 184th audience member) Walk up straight!
ROGER: 184, 185, 186, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206...
GUY SMILEY (to 207th audience member) Keep moving! Keep moving!
ROGER: 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222, 223, 224, 225...
GUY SMILEY (to 226th audience member) Come on! Get going!
ROGER: 226, 227, 228, 229, 230, 231, 232, 233, 234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241, 240, 241, 242...
GUY SMILEY (to 243rd audience member) Walk up straight!
ROGER: 243, 244, 245, 246, 247, 248, 249, 250, 251, 252, 253, 254, 255, 256, 257, 258, 259, 260, 261...
GUY SMILEY: (to 262nd audience member) Get along now. Get along.
ROGER: 262, 263, 264, 265, 266, 267, 268, 269, 270, 271, 272, 273, 274, 275, 276, 277, 278, 279, 280...
GUY SMILEY: (as 281st audience member follows up) Step up right through!
ROGER: 281, 282, 283, 284, 285, 286, 287, 288, 289, 290, 291, 292, 293, 294, 295, 296, 297, 298... (as time-clock music stops playing) 299.
GUY SMILEY: There are 299 in my studio audience!!! (Crowd off-screen cheers) (angrily staring at Pierre) Well, Roger?
ROGER: Well,...YOU'RE IN LUCK! WE HAVE THE SPECIAL: VACATION FOR 299!!!!!
GUY SMILEY: (as game-show music plays again) Wonderful, Roger!!! That's great news!!!
ROGER: YES! WE HAVE 109 VACANT ROOMS FOR YOUR AUDIENCE PEOPLE! (To all audience members) OK, you guys, find yourself rooms! They're on the 4th, 6th, 11th, 12th, 16th, 19th, and 29th floors!
GUY SMILEY: Thank you so much for where they have to stay in, Roger! Hey! Don't you know who you forgot to count?
ROGER: No, Mr. Smiley. What did I forget to count?
GUY SMILEY: You forgot to count me!
ROGER: Oh! You are right, Mr. Smiley! You and all of your audience people make 300!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! That's great! Thank you! (as game-show music starts fading away again) Now, I'm gonna relax and have a fun time during my vacation....
ROGER: Oh no you can't! You can't go in there!
GUY SMILEY: Why not?
ROGER: There aren't any more vacant rooms for you right now. We do not have the special Vacation for 300 BUT we do have Vacation for 249!
GUY SMILEY: *sigh* No, you don't understand! I'm taking them for my vacation! That's my studio audience vacation and I want to have fun!
(Chester McGrath (purple AM) enters)
CHESTER McGRATH: Mmm-hmm. Chester McGrath here for a three-day vacation.
ROGER: Yes, and welcome to MGM Grand Hotel! The guests from Room 283 will be out in a moment. (To Guy) It's OK, I will find you a vacant room for you to sleep in. Just wait patiently.
GUY SMILEY: But, but...(as game-show music plays again) (to Chester McGraph) Oh! Chester McGraph, would you like to have a vacation with Guy Smiley, America's favorite game-show host? Huh? (Chester ignores him.)
(Mr. Simon (blue AM) enters)
GUY SMILEY: Hey! Mr. Simon! Are you a friend of mine?
MR. SIMON: No! (walks away)
(The Rogers family enters)
GUY SMILEY: Mr. & Mrs. Rogers, would you like to have a vacation with Guy Smiley, America's favorite game show host? (they start ignoring him. Ms. Lodge enters.) Ms. Lodge! Are you a friend of mine?
MS. LODGE: No! (goes to the waiting room)
GUY SMILEY: I don't understand this! Oh! (to bellhop) Bellhop! Bellhop! I need a vacant room immediately!! (pause) I guess...I guess...I'll wait by the plants until someone is finished with his vacation, perhaps...
Do you like my script?