Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
Gorgon Heap
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2002
- Messages
- 1,623
- Reaction score
- 149
So I finished this "Fraggle Rock" script 7 years ago, almost to the day, but for some reason I never posted it. Not sure why.
The impetus was talking to FR puppeteer Terry Angus. He was describing his primary background character, Morris Fraggle, and how he'd envisioned said character as the editor of the Fraggle Rock newspaper (you can even see him taking notes in an episode, though I forget which one; it's in Season One or Two). So, for Terry, and because I had some ideas I wanted to utilize, and to find out whether or not I could even do it, here is my fan episode script:
ACT ONE
SCENE 1
INT. DOC’S WORKSHOP - DAY
SPROCKET SNOOZES. DOC BURSTS IN.
SPROCKET WAKENS WITH A START.
DOC (CONT’D)
You’ll never believe what I just heard! Ned Shimmelfinney has it on good authority that the old captain who lived across the street was a millionaire!
SPROCKET
Gasp!
DOC TAPS SPROCKET’S NOSE. SPROCKET RUBS IT.
DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, it’s a lot of nonsense of course. They excavated under the captain’s house last year and didn’t find a thing... Still, just for a lark, I might try out this old army surplus metal
detector that I picked up for a song --
HE PRODUCES THE CUMBERSOME OBJECT, AND TUCKS IT UNDER HIS ARM.
DOC (CONT’D)
It was an army song, of course.
(chuckles)
Well, I don’t expect to find anything really, but it’ll give me a good excuse to try this thing out, and who knows? I’ll be leaving this room a wise and respected inventor, but I may
return as a man of wealth and influence.
HE TURNS, NEARLY HITTING SPROCKET, WHO DUCKS. DOC EXITS.
SPROCKET SHAKES HIS HEAD, AND LAYS IT DOWN ON THE WORKBENCH.
TILT DOWN/DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 2
INT. RED & MOKEY’S CAVE - MORNING
RED NAPS IN HER HAMMOCK. MOKEY BURSTS IN.
MOKEY
(screams)
Red! It’s here! It’s here! It’s finally arrived!
RED AWAKES WITH A START.
RED
What’s finally arrived, Mokey?
MOKEY
The newest edition of the “Weekly Fraggle”.
RED
Oh, is that all?
MOKEY
Why, Red! Morris published one of my poems in this week’s paper, and next week, I’m doing an advice column.
RED
(with disinterest)
That’s just great, Mokey.
SHE TURNS OVER IN HER HAMMOCK TO GO BACK TO SLEEP.
MOKEY
Don’t you want to see it?
RED
No offense, Mokey -- I like poems and stories as much as the next Fraggle -- but the newspaper’s really not my cup of radishes. Writing is more your interest, and mine, at the moment, is napping.
SHE TURNS HER BACK.
MOKEY
(dejected)
Oh.
RED
(sighs)
Of course I’ll look at it.
MOKEY
Oh, good!
RED
When I get up.
MOKEY
Oh. All right.
MOKEY EXITS. RED TOSSES AND TURNS IN HER HAMMOCK.
RED
Oh, gorg blisters! Now I’m wide awake! Well, I might as well get up.
SHE HOPS DOWN FROM HER HAMMOCK, AND STARTS PUMPING GRANITE.
MORRIS ENTERS.
MORRIS
Knock knock! Anyone home?
RED
Oh, hey Morris! If you’re looking for Mokey, you just missed her.
MORRIS
Oh, that’s okay, Red. Actually, I was looking for you.
RED PUTS DOWN HER BARBELLS.
RED
For me? Why? Did Gobo cancel tomorrow’s hockey practice?
MORRIS
Oh, no Red. I just wanted to ask for your help.
RED
My help? With what?
MORRIS
Well, you know my paper, “The Weekly Fraggle”?
RED
Yeah -- well, I know of it.
MORRIS
Anyway, I’m expanding “The Weekly Fraggle” into a daily edition, “The Daily Boulder”, and I’d like you to be a part of it. You see --
RED
Hold on a minute, Morris, I think I can see where this is going.
(she takes him aside)
Morris, don’t get me wrong -- you’re a great guy and a great rock hockey player, but working on a newspaper is not my speed. I can’t imagine anything more boring than just writing about stuff.
SHE RESUMES HER WEIGHT-LIFTING REGIMEN.
MORRIS
Oh Red, you’ve got it all wrong! Journalism is the most exciting thing in the world!
RED
Yeah, I -- what?
SHE ABRUPTLY PUTS DOWN THE BARBELL.
MORRIS
Yeah! In the news, you’re always where the action is. When the game is a nail-biter, the news is there. When danger is around the corner, the news is there! When disaster strikes --
RED
The news is there!
RED STRAIGHTENS UP WITH IMPORTANCE.
MORRIS
Yeah! That’s why I want your help finding a really super story to kick off with!
RED
Wow! But why me?
MORRIS
Why, because you know what’s going on! Because you know what’s in the here and now! Because you’re the bravest, most capable Fraggle around!
RED
I am?!
MORRIS GENTLY TOUCHES HER ARM. SHE DOESN’T NOTICE.
MORRIS
Yes, you are. That’s why I want to make you my star reporter!
RED
Star reporter?!
MORRIS PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HER AS HE PAINTS THE PICTURE.
MORRIS
Yeah! Someone who’ll be in the thick of the action, who’ll go bravely where no Fraggle has gone before, who can face down danger, take on monsters, anything to get the story!
RED
Oh, I’d love to!
MORRIS
Great! I’ll start putting together the items for the first issue, and you can start hunting for a great lead-off story!
RED
Yeah!
MORRIS
We’ll meet back in the Great Hall in four Doozer towers.
MORRIS EXITS.
RED
You got it, Morris! Wow, imagine -- me: Red, your Roving Reporter! I can see the headline now:
SHE BREAKS INTO SONG.
SCENE 3
INT. GREAT HALL - MORNING
RUMPLE, FEENIE, LARGE MARVIN AND MARLON GATHER IN A HUDDLE. THEY ‘OO’ AND ‘AH’ ABOUT SOMETHING UNSEEN.
MARLON
Oh, it’s magnificent!
LARGE MARVIN
Yeah, marvelous!
RUMPLE
It’s the most amazing thing I’ve seen!
RED ENTERS.
RED
Oh, boy! Sounds like my first story has just hit the presses! I can see the headline now: “Amazing Discovery Grips Fraggle Rock”.
SHE APPROACHES.
RED (CONT’D)
Hi, gang! Red, your roving reporter, is on the scene! Tell me, in your own words, what, pray tell, is this amazing discovery?
LARGE MARVIN
Feenie here just found a blue pebble!
FEENIE
Yeah!
BEAMING, HE PRESENTS IT TO HER.
RED
That’s the amazing discovery?
FEENIE
Oh, no, that’s not the amazing thing!
RUMPLE
Oh, no way!
FEENIE
The amazing thing is, I also found a green pebble the exact same shape and size!
RUMPLE HOLDS IT UP.
RUMPLE
Yeah, it’s really neat!
RED
Do you guys have any idea how disappointing this is? Isn’t there anything exciting going on?
MARLON
Oh, Red! Red! If it’s excitement you’re looking for, you should swing over to my cave! My life is very interesting! Heh! Full of excitement! Heh! Heh!
RED
Uh, no thanks, Marlon. Anybody else?
LARGE MARVIN
Well, ah, you could always try Boober’s cave. He’s always doing something with water and cloth and stuff.
RED
(sighs, disgusted)
RUMPLE
Large Marvin, that’s laundry.
LARGE MARVIN
I thought it was Red!
RED
It’s a very disappointed star reporter is what it is. Thanks anyway.
RED EXITS, DISMAYED.
FEENIE
You’re welcome, scar reporter!
SCENE 4
INT. CAVERN OUTSIDE BOOBER’S CAVE - MOMENTS LATER
RED LOOKS THROUGH BOOBER’S DOORWAY, AND HANGS HER HEAD.
RED
(sighs)
Boober’s cave is the dullest, quietest, most boring place in the whole Rock.
BOOBER (O.S.)
(screams)
Ah!
RED
Whoa! I’m coming, Boober!
SCENE 5
INT. BOOBER’S CAVE - CONTINUOUS
RED RUSHES INSIDE. BOOBER FRETS AT HIS LAUNDRY TUB, HIS BACK TO RED.
RED
Boober, what’s the emergency?
BOOBER
It’s right here!
(indicates)
I missed a radish stain on this shirt and washed it with the rest of the laundry! Now the wash water has turned pink, and all the laundry has been soaking in it! It’ll get discolored.
RED
Is that all?
BOOBER
Is that all?! Do you realize I’ll have to start all over again, and the stains might not even come out?! Oh, I’ve had nightmares like this.
RED
I’m sorry I asked.
RED HEADS FOR THE DOOR.
BOOBER
Yes, you should be sorry!
FLUSTERED, RED DOES AN ABOUT-FACE.
RED
Boober, you sure don’t know a disaster when you see one!
SHE EXITS IN A HUFF. BOOBER RUNS TO THE DOORWAY AND CALLS AFTER HER.
BOOBER
Oh, I don’t know a disaster?! What about this is not disastrous?! Don’t you know my reputation is hanging by a thread?!
SCENE 6
INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE - A FEW MINUTES LATER
RED MOSEYS, HANGDOG, DOWN THE TUNNEL.
RED
Oh, pebbles, laundry -- some news day! I think Morris exaggerated how exciting the news is. I can see the headline now: “Disappointed Star Reporter Hangs Up Trench Coat”.
RED SPOTS GOBO WITH HIS BACK TO THE WALL, BY THE HOLE TO OUTER SPACE.
RED (CONT’D)
Finally, somebody who understands adventure. Hey Gobo!
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOLE, SPROCKET BARKS UP A STORM.
GOBO
Quiet, Red! The hairy monster is waiting on the other side of the hole.
RED
Oo, sounds perilous! How about it, Gobo? Will you give us an exclusive?
GOBO
What are you talking about?
RED
Oh, I’m a star reporter for “The Daily Boulder”, the new daily edition of “The Weekly Fraggle”.
GOBO
Oh, Morris’s paper.
RED
Yeah. So what happens next, Gobo? Our readers must know!
GOBO
Well, as soon as the hairy monster moves away from this hole, that’s when I’ll make my move. Just gotta sit and wait it out.
RED
Is that it?
GOBO
Yup, pretty much.
RED
Hmm.
INT. DOC’S WORKSHOP - INTERCUT
SPROCKET GROWLS AT THE HOLE. DOC ENTERS AND SLAMS THE DOOR BEHIND HIM, STARTLING SPROCKET, WHO BUMPS HIS HEAD.
DOC
Well, that was a waste of time. All I turned up was a tin can, some bottle caps, and about thirty-two cents in change.
HE SCATTERS HIS HAUL ON THE WORKBENCH. SPROCKETS SNIFFS IT.
DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, it’s just as well. It’s only Ned Shimmelfinney and his silly rumors. He probably made the whole thing up just to annoy me... Still, the captain did live here all his life, even before this house was built. I suppose I have nothing to lose by firing this up in here.
HE SCANS THE FLOOR WITH THE METAL DETECTOR. IT GOES OFF, STARTLING SPROCKET, WHO SCATTERS THE OBJECTS WITH HIS NOSE.
SEIZING THE OPPORTUNITY, GOBO SNEAKS UP TO THE WASTEBASKET AND GRABS THE POSTCARD.
DOC (CONT’D)
(chuckles)
Oh, would you listen to that, Sprocket? I’d say there’s a whole lot of metal under the floor. I’d better pry up some of these floorboards and see what’s under there.
GOBO EXITS.
INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE - INTERCUT
GOBO RUSHES IN TO A WAITING RED.
RED
What do you say, Gobo? Do you have anything exciting for us?
GOBO
Well, I do happen to have the latest card from Uncle Traveling Matt!
RED
(sighs, sarcastic)
Ugh! Stop the presses.
GOBO
(reading)
“Dear Nephew Gobo...”
SCENE 7
EXT. SHIP - DAY
TRAVELING MATT PEERS OUT OF A CRATE.
MATT
The other day, I made an amazing discovery while a guest on one of the silly creatures’ aquatic vessels.
MATT OBSERVES A MAN FEEDING OUT LINE FROM AN AIR PUMP.
MATT (CONT’D)
The silly creature was throwing a length of funny-looking rope into the water. Having no idea what was on the other end of that rope, I decided to find out for myself.
AS SOON AS THE MAN’S BACK IS TURNED, MATT DIVES IN WITH A SPLASH, GIVING THE MAN PAUSE.
EXT. UNDERWATER - CONTINUOUS
MATT FOLLOWS THE LINE.
MATT (V.O.)
When I came to the end of the line, I saw the most terrifying hulking beast on the other end of it.
MATT SPOTS A DEEP-SEA DIVER EXAMINING THE AQUATIC LIFE.
MATT (CONT’D)
On closer observation, however, I realized the creature was only exploring his surroundings.
Evidently, this beast was the silly creature’s aquatic pet, and he was taking it for a walk.
MATT PATS THE DIVER ON THE HELMET.
MATT (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Sometimes the best way to learn something is by seeing it for yourself.
THE DIVER TURNS HIS HEAD, LOOKING AFTER MATT.
INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE - INTERCUT
GOBO FINISHES READING.
GOBO
“Love, your Uncle Traveling Matt.”
RED
(sarcastic)
Riveting reading, Gobo. Almost as interesting as Boober’s pink laundry.
RED TUNES OUT.
GOBO
Hey! Oh, there’s more: “P.S. Seeing the aquatic creature put me in the mood for exploring the bottom of the Laughing Lagoon on my next trip home, and I’d appreciate it if you’d gather up some tube vines from the Freckled Forest.” Those things are a mess.
RED
Wake me if something interesting happens.
GOBO
Sorry, Red. What I have to do is tough, but not what I’d call news. To tell you the truth, though, I’d rather face the challenge of the hairy monster than what I have to do next.
HE EXITS. RED RESPONDS, HALF OUT OF IT.
RED
Uh-huh, gotcha. Challenge, hairy monster, what you have to do next. Sigh.
(beat, she sits bolt upright)
Whoa! Did Gobo just say he was going to challenge the hairy monster?
MUSICAL STING.
Part Two coming up.
David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
The impetus was talking to FR puppeteer Terry Angus. He was describing his primary background character, Morris Fraggle, and how he'd envisioned said character as the editor of the Fraggle Rock newspaper (you can even see him taking notes in an episode, though I forget which one; it's in Season One or Two). So, for Terry, and because I had some ideas I wanted to utilize, and to find out whether or not I could even do it, here is my fan episode script:
ACT ONE
SCENE 1
INT. DOC’S WORKSHOP - DAY
SPROCKET SNOOZES. DOC BURSTS IN.
DOC
Sprocket!
Sprocket!
SPROCKET WAKENS WITH A START.
DOC (CONT’D)
You’ll never believe what I just heard! Ned Shimmelfinney has it on good authority that the old captain who lived across the street was a millionaire!
SPROCKET
Gasp!
DOC
Yes! They say his fortune was made up of valuable objects he’d collected from his days as a master of the sea: gold doubloons, rubies, pearls as big as your nose!
Yes! They say his fortune was made up of valuable objects he’d collected from his days as a master of the sea: gold doubloons, rubies, pearls as big as your nose!
DOC TAPS SPROCKET’S NOSE. SPROCKET RUBS IT.
DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, it’s a lot of nonsense of course. They excavated under the captain’s house last year and didn’t find a thing... Still, just for a lark, I might try out this old army surplus metal
detector that I picked up for a song --
HE PRODUCES THE CUMBERSOME OBJECT, AND TUCKS IT UNDER HIS ARM.
DOC (CONT’D)
It was an army song, of course.
(chuckles)
Well, I don’t expect to find anything really, but it’ll give me a good excuse to try this thing out, and who knows? I’ll be leaving this room a wise and respected inventor, but I may
return as a man of wealth and influence.
HE TURNS, NEARLY HITTING SPROCKET, WHO DUCKS. DOC EXITS.
SPROCKET SHAKES HIS HEAD, AND LAYS IT DOWN ON THE WORKBENCH.
TILT DOWN/DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 2
INT. RED & MOKEY’S CAVE - MORNING
RED NAPS IN HER HAMMOCK. MOKEY BURSTS IN.
MOKEY
(screams)
Red! It’s here! It’s here! It’s finally arrived!
RED AWAKES WITH A START.
RED
What’s finally arrived, Mokey?
MOKEY
The newest edition of the “Weekly Fraggle”.
RED
Oh, is that all?
MOKEY
Why, Red! Morris published one of my poems in this week’s paper, and next week, I’m doing an advice column.
RED
(with disinterest)
That’s just great, Mokey.
SHE TURNS OVER IN HER HAMMOCK TO GO BACK TO SLEEP.
MOKEY
Don’t you want to see it?
RED
No offense, Mokey -- I like poems and stories as much as the next Fraggle -- but the newspaper’s really not my cup of radishes. Writing is more your interest, and mine, at the moment, is napping.
SHE TURNS HER BACK.
MOKEY
(dejected)
Oh.
RED
(sighs)
Of course I’ll look at it.
MOKEY
Oh, good!
RED
When I get up.
MOKEY
Oh. All right.
MOKEY EXITS. RED TOSSES AND TURNS IN HER HAMMOCK.
RED
Oh, gorg blisters! Now I’m wide awake! Well, I might as well get up.
SHE HOPS DOWN FROM HER HAMMOCK, AND STARTS PUMPING GRANITE.
MORRIS ENTERS.
MORRIS
Knock knock! Anyone home?
RED
Oh, hey Morris! If you’re looking for Mokey, you just missed her.
MORRIS
Oh, that’s okay, Red. Actually, I was looking for you.
RED PUTS DOWN HER BARBELLS.
RED
For me? Why? Did Gobo cancel tomorrow’s hockey practice?
MORRIS
Oh, no Red. I just wanted to ask for your help.
RED
My help? With what?
MORRIS
Well, you know my paper, “The Weekly Fraggle”?
RED
Yeah -- well, I know of it.
MORRIS
Anyway, I’m expanding “The Weekly Fraggle” into a daily edition, “The Daily Boulder”, and I’d like you to be a part of it. You see --
RED
Hold on a minute, Morris, I think I can see where this is going.
(she takes him aside)
Morris, don’t get me wrong -- you’re a great guy and a great rock hockey player, but working on a newspaper is not my speed. I can’t imagine anything more boring than just writing about stuff.
SHE RESUMES HER WEIGHT-LIFTING REGIMEN.
MORRIS
Oh Red, you’ve got it all wrong! Journalism is the most exciting thing in the world!
RED
Yeah, I -- what?
SHE ABRUPTLY PUTS DOWN THE BARBELL.
MORRIS
Yeah! In the news, you’re always where the action is. When the game is a nail-biter, the news is there. When danger is around the corner, the news is there! When disaster strikes --
RED
The news is there!
RED STRAIGHTENS UP WITH IMPORTANCE.
MORRIS
Yeah! That’s why I want your help finding a really super story to kick off with!
RED
Wow! But why me?
MORRIS
Why, because you know what’s going on! Because you know what’s in the here and now! Because you’re the bravest, most capable Fraggle around!
RED
I am?!
MORRIS GENTLY TOUCHES HER ARM. SHE DOESN’T NOTICE.
MORRIS
Yes, you are. That’s why I want to make you my star reporter!
RED
Star reporter?!
MORRIS PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HER AS HE PAINTS THE PICTURE.
MORRIS
Yeah! Someone who’ll be in the thick of the action, who’ll go bravely where no Fraggle has gone before, who can face down danger, take on monsters, anything to get the story!
RED
Oh, I’d love to!
MORRIS
Great! I’ll start putting together the items for the first issue, and you can start hunting for a great lead-off story!
RED
Yeah!
MORRIS
We’ll meet back in the Great Hall in four Doozer towers.
MORRIS EXITS.
RED
You got it, Morris! Wow, imagine -- me: Red, your Roving Reporter! I can see the headline now:
SHE BREAKS INTO SONG.
SCENE 3
INT. GREAT HALL - MORNING
RUMPLE, FEENIE, LARGE MARVIN AND MARLON GATHER IN A HUDDLE. THEY ‘OO’ AND ‘AH’ ABOUT SOMETHING UNSEEN.
MARLON
Oh, it’s magnificent!
LARGE MARVIN
Yeah, marvelous!
RUMPLE
It’s the most amazing thing I’ve seen!
RED ENTERS.
RED
Oh, boy! Sounds like my first story has just hit the presses! I can see the headline now: “Amazing Discovery Grips Fraggle Rock”.
SHE APPROACHES.
RED (CONT’D)
Hi, gang! Red, your roving reporter, is on the scene! Tell me, in your own words, what, pray tell, is this amazing discovery?
LARGE MARVIN
Feenie here just found a blue pebble!
FEENIE
Yeah!
BEAMING, HE PRESENTS IT TO HER.
RED
That’s the amazing discovery?
FEENIE
Oh, no, that’s not the amazing thing!
RUMPLE
Oh, no way!
FEENIE
The amazing thing is, I also found a green pebble the exact same shape and size!
RUMPLE HOLDS IT UP.
RUMPLE
Yeah, it’s really neat!
RED
Do you guys have any idea how disappointing this is? Isn’t there anything exciting going on?
MARLON
Oh, Red! Red! If it’s excitement you’re looking for, you should swing over to my cave! My life is very interesting! Heh! Full of excitement! Heh! Heh!
RED
Uh, no thanks, Marlon. Anybody else?
LARGE MARVIN
Well, ah, you could always try Boober’s cave. He’s always doing something with water and cloth and stuff.
RED
(sighs, disgusted)
RUMPLE
Large Marvin, that’s laundry.
LARGE MARVIN
I thought it was Red!
RED
It’s a very disappointed star reporter is what it is. Thanks anyway.
RED EXITS, DISMAYED.
FEENIE
You’re welcome, scar reporter!
SCENE 4
INT. CAVERN OUTSIDE BOOBER’S CAVE - MOMENTS LATER
RED LOOKS THROUGH BOOBER’S DOORWAY, AND HANGS HER HEAD.
RED
(sighs)
Boober’s cave is the dullest, quietest, most boring place in the whole Rock.
BOOBER (O.S.)
(screams)
Ah!
RED
Whoa! I’m coming, Boober!
SCENE 5
INT. BOOBER’S CAVE - CONTINUOUS
RED RUSHES INSIDE. BOOBER FRETS AT HIS LAUNDRY TUB, HIS BACK TO RED.
RED
Boober, what’s the emergency?
BOOBER
It’s right here!
(indicates)
I missed a radish stain on this shirt and washed it with the rest of the laundry! Now the wash water has turned pink, and all the laundry has been soaking in it! It’ll get discolored.
RED
Is that all?
BOOBER
Is that all?! Do you realize I’ll have to start all over again, and the stains might not even come out?! Oh, I’ve had nightmares like this.
RED
I’m sorry I asked.
RED HEADS FOR THE DOOR.
BOOBER
Yes, you should be sorry!
FLUSTERED, RED DOES AN ABOUT-FACE.
RED
Boober, you sure don’t know a disaster when you see one!
SHE EXITS IN A HUFF. BOOBER RUNS TO THE DOORWAY AND CALLS AFTER HER.
BOOBER
Oh, I don’t know a disaster?! What about this is not disastrous?! Don’t you know my reputation is hanging by a thread?!
SCENE 6
INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE - A FEW MINUTES LATER
RED MOSEYS, HANGDOG, DOWN THE TUNNEL.
RED
Oh, pebbles, laundry -- some news day! I think Morris exaggerated how exciting the news is. I can see the headline now: “Disappointed Star Reporter Hangs Up Trench Coat”.
RED SPOTS GOBO WITH HIS BACK TO THE WALL, BY THE HOLE TO OUTER SPACE.
RED (CONT’D)
Finally, somebody who understands adventure. Hey Gobo!
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOLE, SPROCKET BARKS UP A STORM.
GOBO
Quiet, Red! The hairy monster is waiting on the other side of the hole.
RED
Oo, sounds perilous! How about it, Gobo? Will you give us an exclusive?
GOBO
What are you talking about?
RED
Oh, I’m a star reporter for “The Daily Boulder”, the new daily edition of “The Weekly Fraggle”.
GOBO
Oh, Morris’s paper.
RED
Yeah. So what happens next, Gobo? Our readers must know!
GOBO
Well, as soon as the hairy monster moves away from this hole, that’s when I’ll make my move. Just gotta sit and wait it out.
RED
Is that it?
GOBO
Yup, pretty much.
RED
Hmm.
INT. DOC’S WORKSHOP - INTERCUT
SPROCKET GROWLS AT THE HOLE. DOC ENTERS AND SLAMS THE DOOR BEHIND HIM, STARTLING SPROCKET, WHO BUMPS HIS HEAD.
DOC
Well, that was a waste of time. All I turned up was a tin can, some bottle caps, and about thirty-two cents in change.
HE SCATTERS HIS HAUL ON THE WORKBENCH. SPROCKETS SNIFFS IT.
DOC (CONT’D)
Oh, it’s just as well. It’s only Ned Shimmelfinney and his silly rumors. He probably made the whole thing up just to annoy me... Still, the captain did live here all his life, even before this house was built. I suppose I have nothing to lose by firing this up in here.
HE SCANS THE FLOOR WITH THE METAL DETECTOR. IT GOES OFF, STARTLING SPROCKET, WHO SCATTERS THE OBJECTS WITH HIS NOSE.
SEIZING THE OPPORTUNITY, GOBO SNEAKS UP TO THE WASTEBASKET AND GRABS THE POSTCARD.
DOC (CONT’D)
(chuckles)
Oh, would you listen to that, Sprocket? I’d say there’s a whole lot of metal under the floor. I’d better pry up some of these floorboards and see what’s under there.
GOBO EXITS.
INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE - INTERCUT
GOBO RUSHES IN TO A WAITING RED.
RED
What do you say, Gobo? Do you have anything exciting for us?
GOBO
Well, I do happen to have the latest card from Uncle Traveling Matt!
RED
(sighs, sarcastic)
Ugh! Stop the presses.
GOBO
(reading)
“Dear Nephew Gobo...”
DISSOLVE TO:
SCENE 7
EXT. SHIP - DAY
TRAVELING MATT PEERS OUT OF A CRATE.
MATT
The other day, I made an amazing discovery while a guest on one of the silly creatures’ aquatic vessels.
MATT OBSERVES A MAN FEEDING OUT LINE FROM AN AIR PUMP.
MATT (CONT’D)
The silly creature was throwing a length of funny-looking rope into the water. Having no idea what was on the other end of that rope, I decided to find out for myself.
AS SOON AS THE MAN’S BACK IS TURNED, MATT DIVES IN WITH A SPLASH, GIVING THE MAN PAUSE.
EXT. UNDERWATER - CONTINUOUS
MATT FOLLOWS THE LINE.
MATT (V.O.)
When I came to the end of the line, I saw the most terrifying hulking beast on the other end of it.
MATT SPOTS A DEEP-SEA DIVER EXAMINING THE AQUATIC LIFE.
MATT (CONT’D)
On closer observation, however, I realized the creature was only exploring his surroundings.
Evidently, this beast was the silly creature’s aquatic pet, and he was taking it for a walk.
MATT PATS THE DIVER ON THE HELMET.
MATT (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Sometimes the best way to learn something is by seeing it for yourself.
THE DIVER TURNS HIS HEAD, LOOKING AFTER MATT.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. TUNNEL TO OUTER SPACE - INTERCUT
GOBO FINISHES READING.
GOBO
“Love, your Uncle Traveling Matt.”
RED
(sarcastic)
Riveting reading, Gobo. Almost as interesting as Boober’s pink laundry.
RED TUNES OUT.
GOBO
Hey! Oh, there’s more: “P.S. Seeing the aquatic creature put me in the mood for exploring the bottom of the Laughing Lagoon on my next trip home, and I’d appreciate it if you’d gather up some tube vines from the Freckled Forest.” Those things are a mess.
RED
Wake me if something interesting happens.
GOBO
Sorry, Red. What I have to do is tough, but not what I’d call news. To tell you the truth, though, I’d rather face the challenge of the hairy monster than what I have to do next.
HE EXITS. RED RESPONDS, HALF OUT OF IT.
RED
Uh-huh, gotcha. Challenge, hairy monster, what you have to do next. Sigh.
(beat, she sits bolt upright)
Whoa! Did Gobo just say he was going to challenge the hairy monster?
MUSICAL STING.
Part Two coming up.
David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
