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Hello, Muppet fans! This is the start of a new series I am planning to do, where different Muppets meet different superheroes, which basically combines my two favorite things. This will be the first story. Now, I want you to think of a question: What if Bruce Wayne/Batman never took in Dick Grayson/Robin as a ward? What if instead he took in a certain bear named Fozzie. You will find out what happens in that scenario in this story. Here is chapter 1:
An exiled comedian. An exiled crime-fighter. That's what they both were. Fozzie Bear, away from the grasps of the Muppets for just four months. This trip was supposed to be a turning point in the bear's career. Instead, it was turning into a nightmare. Poor Fozzie was just two weeks in the engagement, and the people just didn't seem to like his jokes. He walked into the venue with just enough hope to get through the performance.
"Wocka wocka wocka!" As he started off the night with his trademark wockas, the crowd seemed less than amused. One of the people in the audience was Bruce Wayne. No, Bruce Wayne hadn't disappeared off the face of the earth, not at all. Batman had. Batman was Bruce Wayne's alter ego. He hadn't put on the cape in 3 years. People were wondering where he had gone, what he was doing. As Bruce sat down, he listened to Fozzie's performance with a smile on his face.
"Now, let's talk about this year's election! Eh?" Fozzie never liked to resort to name-calling or publicly shaming people. But, if this was what he had to do to just get the tiniest laugh out of the crowd, then he was going to do it. "We don't want some orange guy running our country. We also don't want Leslie Knope running for president." Fozzie winced. He hated saying the words. But, something strange happened. The crowd cheered.
Fozzie suddenly felt on top of the world. He tried to get back to his trademark humor while he had the crowd laughing. "Did I tell you about the guy with a lightbulb in his brain? He was lightheaded! Wocka wocka!" Nobody laughed this time. Except for Bruce Wayne. Everybody turned around to look at the face of the man laughing, but Bruce Wayne stopped. Fozzie went on with his act. He bombed for another 30 minutes until the show was over.
Bruce walked backstage. A security guard said, "Sir, you can't come back here! It's only for the stars of the show!"
Bruce stopped and said, "You're fired."
A security guard said, "What? You can't do th... Who are you, anyways?"
Bruce showed him a card and replied, "The owner of this place." The security guard walked out shamefully. Bruce walked backstage to see Fozzie.
Fozzie said, "Oh, no. Another negative critic. Listen, I know how bad my jokes were and I apologize if your money was wasted, but I was trying my..."
Bruce said, "I thought you did great. Much funnier stuff than some of the other 'comedians' we have today."
Fozzie was very confused. "Are you pulling my leg? I've also had three people confuse me with their reviews of the show while I've been out here..."
Bruce continued, "No. Honestly, I liked it. Hey, listen, I get the sense that you don't like performing here. Give me an honest opinion of how you're liking doing stand-up comedy here."
Fozzie let out his true feelings as he remarked, "I don't really like doing this. It's just back when I was doing The Muppet Show, I felt awesome. I felt like I could do anything, and I had nice friends to support me. The only trouble I had was with these two hecklers... That's besides the point, anyways."
Bruce had a sudden look of emotion on his face, remembering how alone the citizens of Gotham must feel without the Batman. He looked at Fozzie, and decided to help the poor guy out. "Listen, my name is Bruce Wayne. I can take you in for the next three-and-a-half months of your engagement. You don't have to perform anymore."
Fozzie said, "But, I have to do this."
Bruce gave another one of his business cards to Fozzie as he said, "I own the place. Now, let's get out of here and get you to your new home."
As they hopped in Bruce's car, Fozzie said, "Where are we going anyway?"
"To Wayne Manor, my friend."
An exiled comedian. An exiled crime-fighter. That's what they both were. Fozzie Bear, away from the grasps of the Muppets for just four months. This trip was supposed to be a turning point in the bear's career. Instead, it was turning into a nightmare. Poor Fozzie was just two weeks in the engagement, and the people just didn't seem to like his jokes. He walked into the venue with just enough hope to get through the performance.
"Wocka wocka wocka!" As he started off the night with his trademark wockas, the crowd seemed less than amused. One of the people in the audience was Bruce Wayne. No, Bruce Wayne hadn't disappeared off the face of the earth, not at all. Batman had. Batman was Bruce Wayne's alter ego. He hadn't put on the cape in 3 years. People were wondering where he had gone, what he was doing. As Bruce sat down, he listened to Fozzie's performance with a smile on his face.
"Now, let's talk about this year's election! Eh?" Fozzie never liked to resort to name-calling or publicly shaming people. But, if this was what he had to do to just get the tiniest laugh out of the crowd, then he was going to do it. "We don't want some orange guy running our country. We also don't want Leslie Knope running for president." Fozzie winced. He hated saying the words. But, something strange happened. The crowd cheered.
Fozzie suddenly felt on top of the world. He tried to get back to his trademark humor while he had the crowd laughing. "Did I tell you about the guy with a lightbulb in his brain? He was lightheaded! Wocka wocka!" Nobody laughed this time. Except for Bruce Wayne. Everybody turned around to look at the face of the man laughing, but Bruce Wayne stopped. Fozzie went on with his act. He bombed for another 30 minutes until the show was over.
Bruce walked backstage. A security guard said, "Sir, you can't come back here! It's only for the stars of the show!"
Bruce stopped and said, "You're fired."
A security guard said, "What? You can't do th... Who are you, anyways?"
Bruce showed him a card and replied, "The owner of this place." The security guard walked out shamefully. Bruce walked backstage to see Fozzie.
Fozzie said, "Oh, no. Another negative critic. Listen, I know how bad my jokes were and I apologize if your money was wasted, but I was trying my..."
Bruce said, "I thought you did great. Much funnier stuff than some of the other 'comedians' we have today."
Fozzie was very confused. "Are you pulling my leg? I've also had three people confuse me with their reviews of the show while I've been out here..."
Bruce continued, "No. Honestly, I liked it. Hey, listen, I get the sense that you don't like performing here. Give me an honest opinion of how you're liking doing stand-up comedy here."
Fozzie let out his true feelings as he remarked, "I don't really like doing this. It's just back when I was doing The Muppet Show, I felt awesome. I felt like I could do anything, and I had nice friends to support me. The only trouble I had was with these two hecklers... That's besides the point, anyways."
Bruce had a sudden look of emotion on his face, remembering how alone the citizens of Gotham must feel without the Batman. He looked at Fozzie, and decided to help the poor guy out. "Listen, my name is Bruce Wayne. I can take you in for the next three-and-a-half months of your engagement. You don't have to perform anymore."
Fozzie said, "But, I have to do this."
Bruce gave another one of his business cards to Fozzie as he said, "I own the place. Now, let's get out of here and get you to your new home."
As they hopped in Bruce's car, Fozzie said, "Where are we going anyway?"
"To Wayne Manor, my friend."