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PIGS IN SPACE: THE PURPLE MENACE
Written by Patrick Moore
ANNOUNCER
It time for Pigs In Space! In our last episode, the crew of the Swinetrek just escaped from a great threat…low ratings!
(We see Link, Piggy, and Strangepork eating dinner.)
STRANGEPORK
These veggie burgers are the best you ever cooked, First Mate Piggy.
PIGGY
Thank you, Dr. Strangepork. I got it from an old recipe.
LINK
Didn’t you buy these at the frozen food section?
PIGGY
Shut up, stupid.
(Just then, a very familiar creature appears. Yes, it’s Barney.)
BARNEY
Hello!
PIGGY
What the Jim Henson are you?
BARNEY
I’m Barney the Dinosaur, and I’m looking for my good friend, Baby Bop.
STRANGEPORK
That can’t be right.
PIGGY
That Link has less brains than this purple dofus?
STRANGEPORK
No, that dinosaurs are extinct.
BARNEY
Let’s sing a song.
PIGGY
Let’s not.
BARNEY
Let’s sing the Barney Theme Song.
LINK
Okay.
(Barney and Link begin to sing.)
PIGGY
(Turns to camera.) I don’t know what you kids see in this twit? (Turns back to Link and Barney.) SHUT UP!
BARNEY
You can’t say that. That’s a bad word.
PIGGY:
I just want you brainless dolts to shut up with that stupid singing!
BARNEY:
I think Piggy needs a time out.
LINK
She sure does, Barney.
PIGGY
You stay out of this, pea brain! (To Barney.) Look, stupid, I want you out of our ship.
BARNEY
What’s the magic word?
PIGGY
Magic word this! (Piggy karate chops Barney.)
BARNEY
You can’t do that to me. I’m a celebrity.
PIGGY
Big Bird’s a celebrity, but you’re a glorified knockoff!
(Piggy grabs Barney, and throws him out an air lock. Barney sings “I Love You” while floating in space.)
PIGGY
Well, that’s over.
STRANGEPORK
No it isn’t! There’s something else on the ship!
PIGGY
What can be worse than that purple freak?
(We now see the Teletubbies enter, as Piggy screams at the camera.)
ANNOUNCER
Is this the end of the Swinetrek crew?
PIGGY
This is the worse Pigs In Space episode ever.
ANNOUNCER
Stay tuned next time for the next PIGS IN SPACE!
(Cut to the Satellite of Love, where we see Mike and the Bots watching Jurassic Park III. Barney crashes through the screen ending the movie.)
TOM SERVO
Oh crud, it’s Barney!
CROW
I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.
MIKE
Get his autograph?
CROW
Beat him like a piñata.
(Mike and the Bots have metal baseball bats, as we fade to black to hear Barney scream in pain.)
THE END
NOTE: Hi! This is my second Muppet crossover, since the Muppet Show/Daria one I did months ago was a huge hit. I had this idea for the Muppets to meet Barney the Dinosaur, and how he would blend his cuteness to the Muppet universe. There are various Barney haters out there and this story is for them. I added the guys of MST3K in a cameo since this story is set in outer space and all. I might go back to another Muppet Show crossover with another series in the near future. Thanks for reading!
Written by Patrick Moore
ANNOUNCER
It time for Pigs In Space! In our last episode, the crew of the Swinetrek just escaped from a great threat…low ratings!
(We see Link, Piggy, and Strangepork eating dinner.)
STRANGEPORK
These veggie burgers are the best you ever cooked, First Mate Piggy.
PIGGY
Thank you, Dr. Strangepork. I got it from an old recipe.
LINK
Didn’t you buy these at the frozen food section?
PIGGY
Shut up, stupid.
(Just then, a very familiar creature appears. Yes, it’s Barney.)
BARNEY
Hello!
PIGGY
What the Jim Henson are you?
BARNEY
I’m Barney the Dinosaur, and I’m looking for my good friend, Baby Bop.
STRANGEPORK
That can’t be right.
PIGGY
That Link has less brains than this purple dofus?
STRANGEPORK
No, that dinosaurs are extinct.
BARNEY
Let’s sing a song.
PIGGY
Let’s not.
BARNEY
Let’s sing the Barney Theme Song.
LINK
Okay.
(Barney and Link begin to sing.)
PIGGY
(Turns to camera.) I don’t know what you kids see in this twit? (Turns back to Link and Barney.) SHUT UP!
BARNEY
You can’t say that. That’s a bad word.
PIGGY:
I just want you brainless dolts to shut up with that stupid singing!
BARNEY:
I think Piggy needs a time out.
LINK
She sure does, Barney.
PIGGY
You stay out of this, pea brain! (To Barney.) Look, stupid, I want you out of our ship.
BARNEY
What’s the magic word?
PIGGY
Magic word this! (Piggy karate chops Barney.)
BARNEY
You can’t do that to me. I’m a celebrity.
PIGGY
Big Bird’s a celebrity, but you’re a glorified knockoff!
(Piggy grabs Barney, and throws him out an air lock. Barney sings “I Love You” while floating in space.)
PIGGY
Well, that’s over.
STRANGEPORK
No it isn’t! There’s something else on the ship!
PIGGY
What can be worse than that purple freak?
(We now see the Teletubbies enter, as Piggy screams at the camera.)
ANNOUNCER
Is this the end of the Swinetrek crew?
PIGGY
This is the worse Pigs In Space episode ever.
ANNOUNCER
Stay tuned next time for the next PIGS IN SPACE!
(Cut to the Satellite of Love, where we see Mike and the Bots watching Jurassic Park III. Barney crashes through the screen ending the movie.)
TOM SERVO
Oh crud, it’s Barney!
CROW
I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.
MIKE
Get his autograph?
CROW
Beat him like a piñata.
(Mike and the Bots have metal baseball bats, as we fade to black to hear Barney scream in pain.)
THE END
NOTE: Hi! This is my second Muppet crossover, since the Muppet Show/Daria one I did months ago was a huge hit. I had this idea for the Muppets to meet Barney the Dinosaur, and how he would blend his cuteness to the Muppet universe. There are various Barney haters out there and this story is for them. I added the guys of MST3K in a cameo since this story is set in outer space and all. I might go back to another Muppet Show crossover with another series in the near future. Thanks for reading!