Oh, this is fun!
I have so many favorite quotes from so many fanfics... oh, the burden it will be tracking them down again. I feel a bit weird about quoting my own fanfics, but it's been so long since I wrote these lines, it feels like someone else's writing anyway.
From "The Annulment" which takes place just after the wedding in MTM.
“Was I…” His voice cracked and he swallowed and tried again. “Was I wrong in thinking you were going to play the minister?”
“Well, I was going to, but then Piggy said that- Oooohhh.” Kermit almost, almost smiled at the comical dismay in the tux’ed Whatever’s eyes as his brain caught up with his mouth. Gonzo turned a shocked look at Piggy, who was absolutely, relentlessly ecstatic, and not intimidated in the least at being found out.
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Kermit had had enough of interruptions. With a strength that surprised both of them, he dragged Piggy off the set and into his trailer, trying desperately not to hear the catcalls that followed them, trying in vain not to see Piggy’s impish acknowledgements of the attention.
Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not kill.
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Again, she turned her limpid eyes on him, making him forget what he was trying to say and irritating the life out of him.
“Sheesh, stop that. What am I angry about?”
“Oh, nothing really. It’s just our first marital spat. It’s going very well.”
“Oh, yeah.” Married. AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!! “Piggy! How could you do this to me?”
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From
"Turning the Tables" Kermit and Piggy again... yeah, I'm obsessed, sorry.
“Milady, prithee tell what will thine answer be.”
“This ye olde English stuff is getting ye olde, Kermit.” She whispered.
“Vous shouldst talk, milady.”
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From
"A Midsummer Film Distraction"
Piggy shook her head, ostensibly at her frog’s silliness. “Oh, Kermie, of course I’m finished early. It’s karate. Moi doesn’t do any real swordplay in this movie, dear. It’s all just choreography. Besides, moi’s partner needed a break... and some ice.”
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From "Kissy, Kissy" Hmm... I've written more fics than I realized.
“Kermie, Kermie, speak to me, darling!” The little frog clutched his head groggily as he tried to figure out which aching limbs belonged to him and which belonged to Gonzo.
Let’s see, green would be me, so that blue leg would be Gonzo and those lips heading for mine must be-
“Piggy!” He wriggled backward in surprise.
“I thought perhaps vous needed the mouth-to-mouth.” She eagerly bent towards him again, pressing her advantage.
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Still from "Kissy, Kissy," and set just after Piggy falls off the stage in IVMMCM.
“Oy, what a day. Miss Piggy, are you alright?”
Piggy stared at him silently for a moment, gleeful smile still gracing her face, then she blinked several times. “Oh. Oh! Uh, yes, I’m alright, I was just... ah...”
One of the camera operators approached clapping his hands enthusiastically. “Oh, wow, Miss Piggy, you’re the best! That was a hilarious adlib!”
She pulled herself up to a sitting position, looking about nervously. Her eyes met Kermit’s and she bit her lip, flushing lightly.
“Yes, of course, adlib!” Within seconds, Piggy was being helped to her feet. “One never knows what clever joke moi will come up with next... yes.”
Kermit bravely managed to keep a straight face.
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From "Something worth waiting for" I do write other characters, I swear!
Kermit is rating how angry Piggy is.
“The girl you’re taking to Paris with vous. What’s her name? Does moi know her?” Where is she getting that from?! Piggy spun away from him sharply, tapping her foot angrily on the floor. Eight and a half… uh oh. Kermit wished he’d never agreed to take on this charity marathon. He was beginning to wish he’d never left the swamp. Peaceful, calm, completely pig-free…
“Piggy, you’re being ridiculous! I’m the only one going! There’s nobody else!” He had started to yell before he’d even quite realized it. “And even if there was, that’s none of your business, pig!”
Is that a nine and a half or a ten?
Whack!
Ah, ten.
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“Scooter, either Piggy or myself is crazy. I’m just not sure which one.” If it were only possible, the go-fer’s smile would have broadened.
“Aw, don’t worry, everyone knows you’re both crazy!” Kermit frowned at him with all his might. Heedlessly, Scooter continued on, “Gee, I mean, everyone around here is crazy. You oughta know that, of all people.”
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It had taken Fozzie and Rowlf the better part of an afternoon to talk the frog out of changing his name to Steve and moving to Canada. They had relied heavily on logic to soothe his jangled nerves.
“It’s cold up there!” Fozzie waved his arms in an unconscious imitation of Kermit.
“You don’t really look like a Steve.” Rowlf offered calmly, his entire demeanor in stark contrast to the other two.
“They have snow all year round! And polar bears! Mean ones!”
“That’s true, Fozzie, and you know Kermit, Steves have troubles too. It’s not all sunshine and lollypops being a Steve.”
“You’d need a better coat! And snowshoes! And what about the French! What if they want to eat your legs?!” Kermit made a face at Fozzie, who was disconcertingly genuine in his concern.
“You do look more like a Steve than a Philip though.”
“You think?” Fozzie left off his dire warnings about Northern wildlife to consider the issue.
“Sure, look at the eyes.”
“I dunno. Maybe we should get a second opinion.”
“Good idea. Hey, Miss Piggy?” Kermit waved his arms in a desperate gesture to ward off Piggy’s involvement.
“Mmmhmmm?” she greeted them sweetly, eyeing her frog in a speculative manner not entirely different than a French chef might.
“Do you think Kermit look more like-”
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“Dude’s just not himself! I mean, just look at this!”
Fozzie followed Floyd’s gesture and ended up staring helplessly at Animal’s drum set. Desperately, he tried to figure out what he was supposed to be shocking him. “It looks fine to me,” he answered finally after peering cautiously over the battered surface.
“Right on!” Floyd nodded, “No teeth marks, no scratches, no holes.” He gave the bear a hard look. “You know what that means?”
“Everything’s fine and I can go away now?” Fozzie asked hopefully, surreptitiously looking about for an escape route.
“No, man,” Floyd replied, oblivious to the hopes he’d just dashed, “It means no passion, and no passion,” he emphasized, “means no go.”
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And back to Piggy:
“He simply can’t make up his mind!” She sang, almost spitting out the words, dodging the snowths who were evidently quite taken with her fluffy outfit, crooning “Doo doo, doo do doo,” almost lovingly as they pressed up against Piggy.
“Bahama, bahama mama-aaaahhh!” she finished, crashing to the stage with an undignified yelp as she tripped over one of her ardent fans. The snowths, confused by the new sound coming from their beloved, yet fallen, mistress darted off into the wings and disappeared; a wise decision given the current emotional state of Piggy the Snowthqueen.
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Gonzo presents a stunt
Due to popular request, and the insistence of a certain frog,” he added playfully, “this time the crossbows will face away from you and will embed themselves harmlessly into the backdrop that you see hanging there,” he paused and his face lit up in an eager grin, “unless I time it just right!”
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Last one, I promise: Gonzo and Piggy have an odd conversation in dire circumstances. Italics are thoughts.
Oh, thank you, Kermit, thank you!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
It was like striking gold while playing lawn darts in the backyard, then remembering your house was situated over an Incan pyramid: a thrilling discovery that, in retrospect, should not have surprised you.
Kermit... of course, Kermit!
“What else do you like about him?”
“Hmmmph... he’s cute when... he’s mad.”
“Uh huh.”
“He’s ...cute when he... mmmm... panics.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Gonzo agreed solemnly as he filed away his brilliant discovery for, heaven forefend, future reference. If you need to keep someone talking, just bring up his or her favorite subject.
Two year old children living in tribes that had never heard of electricity knew Miss Piggy’s favorite subject.
“Always cute... has flippers.”
“So he does. Are they cute?”
“Flippy, cute and flippy.”
“Cute, flippy flippers.”
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