Favorite Fan-Fic Quotes

theprawncracker

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Alright, a challenge, to fan-fic writers and readers! Go back and read some fan-fics! And while you're reading, pick out some of your favorite quotes from that fan-fic! Be sure to tell us what fan-fic it's from!:big_grin:

And remember, have fun!:excited:
 

minor muppetz

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some of my faves

Here are some of my favorites:

"While you're at it, why don't you get yourself a name?", said by Rowlf to Trumpet Girl in The New Gig.

"316 percent", said by Gonzo in Summer In The Theatre.

"You weren't, uh, joking about that resident ghost, uh, were you?", said by a cop (I forget his name) in response to Kermit's comment about Uncle Deadley in Summer In The Theatre.

"I thought I just heard a cow with a lisp", said by Beauregard in regard to Pepes comment about how many fans use abbreviations for varous muppet productions, such as MWoO for The Muppets Wizard of Oz, also in Summer In The Theatre.

"Boys can do that, too, you know", said by Bert in response to The Amazing Al having a woman in the circus just so the cleaning can be done, in The Search For Bert.

Weird Al Yankovic: I ant to do something serious. Something that won't make people laugh.
Rizzo: Why don't you play somethign from your Polka Party album?
---from DrTooths Outline: Weird Al Yankovic.

"At least give the peas a chance", said by Scooter to John Lennon in regard to the vegetables, from TMS Outline: John Lennon.

Would it be fair for me to list favorite quotes from the fan fictions that I have written?
 

Skeeter Muppet

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Here's my list...and I'm sure there will be more added to it :wink:

from Gorgon Heap's Groucho Marx Outline:

Kermit (after talking circles around Miss Piggy): “I saw Groucho do that to Margaret Dumont in one of their movies last night.” *Piggy comes back and karate chops him* That part, however, was not in the original exchange.”

Statler: (to Waldorf) "How is it that you're not in a retirement home yet?"

from Summer in the Theatre, by Lisa:

Sam: "What about those ants in the dressing room? Is anything being done about those?"
Floyd: "Yeah, we're pairin' 'em up with uncles!"

Rowlf: "What'd you sell?"
Robin: "Fozzie's joke book."
Rowlf: "And you actually got money for it?"

(the Muppets are discussing ways to give Kermit the money)
Fozzie: "You mean, a fake letter?"
Rowlf: "That could work. But who should write it?"
Scooter: "Well I can't. He already knows all my handwritings." *glances at Miss Piggy and reaches for the jelly*

from Chasing Robin, also by Lisa:

(after the Muppets have been attempting to break down a door without success)
Fozzie: "Did anyone try the knob?" *He turns the knob, and the door opens easily*
Clifford: "Oh."

(Sam and Scooter are staying behind at the boarding house, waiting for phone calls)
Sam: "This is your idea of helping? Playing Monopoly?"
Scooter: "Waiting for the phone to ring so I can pass along a message. I’ve gone from go-fer to go-between. Go figure.” *looks at the phone and sighs* “Just roll again, Sam. You got doubles. Do me a favor and land on Marvin Gardens.”

from Revenge of Elmo, by thepawncracker:

Grover: (complaining about Piggy) "She is so mean!"
Rowlf: "Welcome to my life."

Rowlf: (after Robin has been injured by Elmo) "I'm not a doctor, but I do play one on the Muppet Show!"

from Swamp Call, by (you guessed it) Lisa:

Maggie: "Mit? Do you ever wonder if you're absolutely insane?"
Kermit: "In this place? Every day."

Maggie: (looking uncertain about her food) "Is this edible?"
Scooter: "Well...is it talking?"
Maggie: "No..."
Fozzie: "Is it blowing up?"
Maggie: "No..."
Rowlf: "Does it look like it could have come off of anyone or anything sitting at this table?"
Maggie: *looking up and down the table* "Not really."
Scooter, Fozzie, Rowlf: "...it's edible."

(after a minor culinary disaster in the kitchen involving the Swedish Chef)
Scooter: *reaching for the phone* "Looks like we're ordering pizza."

Clifford: (he, Scooter and Rowlf are discussing the splitting up of Kermit's duties) “Man, don’t you know what happened last time the public saw me in the frog’s place? I’m not gettin’ into that again. I’ll take the backstage stuff- you guys can talk to the camera.”

Jerry Juhl, the pizza guy: "When frogs go through chemo, do they grow hair?"

-Kim
 

theprawncracker

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Yes minor muppetz, this thread was partially designed with fan-fic writers in mind who want to show off their favorite quotes from their own fan-fics.

Anyway, I'm going to start with my fics, and work my way through the others...

Revenge of Elmo

"Wait up Gonzo, I'll drive you to the airport!" Fozzie said.
"Alright! Maybe you'll crash again!" The weirdo said joyfully.


The rest of the Muppets got the same message. Except Gonzo. Who couldn't call because he was having the time of his life trapped in a barrel going down Niagra Falls.


"I can't even play my sax! It tastes like wax!"
"My my Zoot, you're a poet and you didn't even know it!"


"I want to go with the hotty. Hokay!" Pepe shouted as he ran over to Maria.
"Please, I'm married!" Maria told him.
"That's hokay, we'll date in private!" Pepe said.


"She must be 10 times her normal size!" Bert said.
"Actually, she's 15 times her normal size." Bunsen told him.


"I'm sorry Gordon, I couldn't here you, there's a bananna in my ear!" Ernie said.

"Not the time Ernie." Bert told him.


 

minor muppetz

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Okay, then here are some of my favorite quotes from my own fan fics:

from Minor Muppetz' TMS Outline: Dan Akroyd

Scooter: Where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you.
Dan Akroyd: Did you check the bathroom?
Scooter: We have a bathroom?

from The Return of The Dodos:

"Uh, right, Hero Guy, your, uh, imaginary friend..."
---Mr. Snuffleupagus, in response to baby bears mention of Hero Guy.

from Grover On Vacation:

"Elmo will do a good deed and not go on this trip", said Elmo.
"yeah, with the exceptions of our target audience, Furry Red Monster, and that Kevin guy, who will care?", said Gordon.

"So, are Dorthy and Mr. Noodle talking yet?"
---Grover, during his phone conversation with Elmo.

from Minor Muppetz' JHH outline: "Black History Month":

"Well, I'm green, and your blue"
---Kermit, in response to the censors comment about Clifford being a purple guy who acts like he's black.
 

minor muppetz

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another of my quotes

Here's another one of my favorites, included in one of my outlines, Minor Muppetz' TMS outline: Jack Burns.

Wayne: What shows do you write for?
Jack Burns: Oh, shows like that one puppet show hosted by a frog.
Wanda: Oh, I'd hate to be on that show!
 

Fragglemuppet

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*My sarcastic response to Wanda* Don't worry babe, you're not.
Sorry about that; I tend to do that to characters sometimes, lol.

Seriously, I can't believe this thread isn't more popular. Somehow I missed it, and just found it after doing a search, after it was mentioned in another topic. The only one I remember off-hand is:

"Moi am not a puppet!" from "Swamp Call" I believe...

I'll come up with more later. What a great excuse to reread them!
 

Ruahnna

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Tickle me

Some things are just fun to write. These tickled me even if they didn't tickle anyone else!

"Can't Help Lovin' That Frog of Mine"
“Actually,” Link said, “I was sort of nervous when you told me you wanted to talk. I was afraid you were going to say something like, ‘I think it’s time we moved our relationship to a new level.’” He gazed at her earnestly. “Women say that to me all the time—I never know what they mean.”

"Kermie's Girl"
Kermit stood framed in the doorway, an appealing lopsided smile on this face. “Piggy, “ he began tenderly, holding out his arms.
The next moment found him flat on the floor where he had dived to avoid the many objects flying toward him. While she tossed everything within arm’s reach, she kept up a steady stream of ladylike insults aimed at amphibians in general, frogs in particular and Kermit Himself. When she had run out of steam and invective, Kermit got carefully to his feet and approached her.

The boutiques here were marvelous, really, if you had lots of money, and Piggy window-shopped happily, day-dreaming and looking at things that would have been marvelous if you’d been going to a cowboy-spaceman-masquerade, or dinner with the Pope and Motley Crew at the same time.

"You're Not the Boss of Me"
It was difficult to say exactly what the look on Piggy’s face would have launched, but it would have been considerably more than a thousand ships.

“Don’t talk to me about fair,” Piggy panted, pinning her frog down and covering him with kisses. “You re the most unreasonable (kiss), impossible (kiss), pig-headed (kiss)—
“Me (kiss)--Pig-headed?” Kermit fumed, wrestling Piggy into a potentially more manageable position. “All I’ve got to say (kiss) is that it takes one to know one (long kiss)—“
“Oh yeah? (kiss)”
“Yeah! (nibble)”
 

Fragglemuppet

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Good ones Ru, the tickled me, too. But that last one? I don't think I've read that far in the story, and all I have to say is, my my!
 

Leyla

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Oh, this is fun!

I have so many favorite quotes from so many fanfics... oh, the burden it will be tracking them down again. :wink: I feel a bit weird about quoting my own fanfics, but it's been so long since I wrote these lines, it feels like someone else's writing anyway.

From "The Annulment" which takes place just after the wedding in MTM.

“Was I…” His voice cracked and he swallowed and tried again. “Was I wrong in thinking you were going to play the minister?”

“Well, I was going to, but then Piggy said that- Oooohhh.” Kermit almost, almost smiled at the comical dismay in the tux’ed Whatever’s eyes as his brain caught up with his mouth. Gonzo turned a shocked look at Piggy, who was absolutely, relentlessly ecstatic, and not intimidated in the least at being found out.

-----------------------------------------------------
Kermit had had enough of interruptions. With a strength that surprised both of them, he dragged Piggy off the set and into his trailer, trying desperately not to hear the catcalls that followed them, trying in vain not to see Piggy’s impish acknowledgements of the attention.

Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not kill.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Again, she turned her limpid eyes on him, making him forget what he was trying to say and irritating the life out of him.

“Sheesh, stop that. What am I angry about?”


“Oh, nothing really. It’s just our first marital spat. It’s going very well.”

“Oh, yeah.” Married. AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!! “Piggy! How could you do this to me?”

----------------------------------------------------------------
From "Turning the Tables" Kermit and Piggy again... yeah, I'm obsessed, sorry.

“Milady, prithee tell what will thine answer be.”

“This ye olde English stuff is getting ye olde, Kermit.” She whispered.


Vous shouldst talk, milady.”
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From "A Midsummer Film Distraction"

Piggy shook her head, ostensibly at her frog’s silliness. “Oh, Kermie, of course I’m finished early. It’s karate. Moi doesn’t do any real swordplay in this movie, dear. It’s all just choreography. Besides, moi’s partner needed a break... and some ice.”
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From "Kissy, Kissy" Hmm... I've written more fics than I realized.

“Kermie, Kermie, speak to me, darling!” The little frog clutched his head groggily as he tried to figure out which aching limbs belonged to him and which belonged to Gonzo. Let’s see, green would be me, so that blue leg would be Gonzo and those lips heading for mine must be-

“Piggy!” He wriggled backward in surprise.

“I thought perhaps vous needed the mouth-to-mouth.” She eagerly bent towards him again, pressing her advantage.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Still from "Kissy, Kissy," and set just after Piggy falls off the stage in IVMMCM.

“Oy, what a day. Miss Piggy, are you alright?”

Piggy stared at him silently for a moment, gleeful smile still gracing her face, then she blinked several times. “Oh. Oh! Uh, yes, I’m alright, I was just... ah...”

One of the camera operators approached clapping his hands enthusiastically. “Oh, wow, Miss Piggy, you’re the best! That was a hilarious adlib!”

She pulled herself up to a sitting position, looking about nervously. Her eyes met Kermit’s and she bit her lip, flushing lightly.

“Yes, of course, adlib!” Within seconds, Piggy was being helped to her feet. “One never knows what clever joke moi will come up with next... yes.”

Kermit bravely managed to keep a straight face.
----------------------------------------------------------------
From "Something worth waiting for" I do write other characters, I swear!
Kermit is rating how angry Piggy is.

“The girl you’re taking to Paris with vous. What’s her name? Does moi know her?” Where is she getting that from?! Piggy spun away from him sharply, tapping her foot angrily on the floor. Eight and a half… uh oh. Kermit wished he’d never agreed to take on this charity marathon. He was beginning to wish he’d never left the swamp. Peaceful, calm, completely pig-free…
“Piggy, you’re being ridiculous! I’m the only one going! There’s nobody else!” He had started to yell before he’d even quite realized it. “And even if there was, that’s none of your business, pig!”


Is that a nine and a half or a ten?
Whack!
Ah, ten.
------------------------------------------------------------------
“Scooter, either Piggy or myself is crazy. I’m just not sure which one.” If it were only possible, the go-fer’s smile would have broadened.
“Aw, don’t worry, everyone knows you’re both crazy!” Kermit frowned at him with all his might. Heedlessly, Scooter continued on, “Gee, I mean, everyone around here is crazy. You oughta know that, of all people.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------
It had taken Fozzie and Rowlf the better part of an afternoon to talk the frog out of changing his name to Steve and moving to Canada. They had relied heavily on logic to soothe his jangled nerves.
“It’s cold up there!” Fozzie waved his arms in an unconscious imitation of Kermit.

“You don’t really look like a Steve.” Rowlf offered calmly, his entire demeanor in stark contrast to the other two.
“They have snow all year round! And polar bears! Mean ones!”
“That’s true, Fozzie, and you know Kermit, Steves have troubles too. It’s not all sunshine and lollypops being a Steve.”
“You’d need a better coat! And snowshoes! And what about the French! What if they want to eat your legs?!” Kermit made a face at Fozzie, who was disconcertingly genuine in his concern.
“You do look more like a Steve than a Philip though.”
“You think?” Fozzie left off his dire warnings about Northern wildlife to consider the issue.
“Sure, look at the eyes.”
“I dunno. Maybe we should get a second opinion.”
“Good idea. Hey, Miss Piggy?” Kermit waved his arms in a desperate gesture to ward off Piggy’s involvement.
“Mmmhmmm?” she greeted them sweetly, eyeing her frog in a speculative manner not entirely different than a French chef might.
“Do you think Kermit look more like-”
---------------------------------------------------------------
“Dude’s just not himself! I mean, just look at this!”

Fozzie followed Floyd’s gesture and ended up staring helplessly at Animal’s drum set. Desperately, he tried to figure out what he was supposed to be shocking him. “It looks fine to me,” he answered finally after peering cautiously over the battered surface.

“Right on!” Floyd nodded, “No teeth marks, no scratches, no holes.” He gave the bear a hard look. “You know what that means?”

“Everything’s fine and I can go away now?” Fozzie asked hopefully, surreptitiously looking about for an escape route.

“No, man,” Floyd replied, oblivious to the hopes he’d just dashed, “It means no passion, and no passion,” he emphasized, “means no go.”
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And back to Piggy:

“He simply can’t make up his mind!” She sang, almost spitting out the words, dodging the snowths who were evidently quite taken with her fluffy outfit, crooning “Doo doo, doo do doo,” almost lovingly as they pressed up against Piggy.

“Bahama, bahama mama-aaaahhh!” she finished, crashing to the stage with an undignified yelp as she tripped over one of her ardent fans. The snowths, confused by the new sound coming from their beloved, yet fallen, mistress darted off into the wings and disappeared; a wise decision given the current emotional state of Piggy the Snowthqueen.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Gonzo presents a stunt

Due to popular request, and the insistence of a certain frog,” he added playfully, “this time the crossbows will face away from you and will embed themselves harmlessly into the backdrop that you see hanging there,” he paused and his face lit up in an eager grin, “unless I time it just right!”

----------------------------------------------
Last one, I promise: Gonzo and Piggy have an odd conversation in dire circumstances. Italics are thoughts.

Oh, thank you, Kermit, thank you!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

It was like striking gold while playing lawn darts in the backyard, then remembering your house was situated over an Incan pyramid: a thrilling discovery that, in retrospect, should not have surprised you.


Kermit... of course, Kermit!

“What else do you like about him?”

“Hmmmph... he’s cute when... he’s mad.”

“Uh huh.”

“He’s ...cute when he... mmmm... panics.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Gonzo agreed solemnly as he filed away his brilliant discovery for, heaven forefend, future reference. If you need to keep someone talking, just bring up his or her favorite subject.

Two year old children living in tribes that had never heard of electricity knew Miss Piggy’s favorite subject.

“Always cute... has flippers.”

“So he does. Are they cute?”

“Flippy, cute and flippy.”

“Cute, flippy flippers.”
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