Fan-fic: The ALTERNATE Muppet Show...

[muppet maniac]

As I said a few months earlier, this is what TMS would have been like if it had started earlier and was picked up by another station in the UK.

Here's an example of what a typical episode would be like:

*THAMES Television logo

*Restaurant: Whatnot complains that there is a fly in his soup. Waiter comes in and sees the "fly"...which when the camera pans backward it reveals the "fly"-a giant, furry green, long-legged beaked beast with batwings. Waiter screams and runs like crazy.

*Opening credits-"Muppet-like"(Henson's doodles) designs around screen while applause is heard, with the "Muppet Show" title card. Accompanied by the theme instrumental, with a bit of the Circus calliope.

In each episode, there would be a voiceover that would have "gentlemen" replaced with something funny.

Voice-over(Jerry Nelson): Ladies and Jellyfish, it's The Muppet Show!

(Cuts to the arches like the ones in the TMS opening)

Musical number by the Country Trio(Jim, Frank and Jerry)

*Archway
Kermit: Hello and welcome to tonight's show, and we've got a great show for you tonight because...

(just before he can finish, Beautiful Day Monster, wearing boxing gloves, pops out of nowhere and punches Kermit)

*Short insert: Two Gawky Birds dance to funky organ music.

(Cuts to Kermit in a room with posters/ads for other British tv shows in the background. One of them has an ad for Monty Python)

Kermit: And now, for something completely different...
(puts on "Groucho" glasses, complete with nose and mustache, and acts crazy until he gets whacked by a giant hammer)


*Sketch based on the "Poison to Poison" segment from Sam and Friends. Except instead of Harry the Hipster, the interviewer is a yellow humanoid Muppet who kind of looks like the Newsman. In the skit, he visits the manison of a rich lady(huge lavender muppet-from Muppet Meeting Films). At the end, Gorgoon Heap(her butler, who she asks to "escort" her guest out) eats the interviewer.

Cuts to a living room where two old men are watching the show from

Old man #1: Huh. That was boring
Old man #2: Indeed
OM #1: What else is on?
(camera zooms out to see what else is on: OM #2 changes the channel wiith the remote, but at the same time sees something else "on" TV: a stuffed dodo. The program they're watching now is a party political broadcast-with a man wearing a clown hat, chicken suit and squawking like a penguin)
OM #2: Just some dumb ol' dodo!

(Old man #1 looks at the camera and scrunches up his mouth like the way Kermit does)

*Dance number by six guards(ones who wear the giant black fur hats and stand there all day. They're full-body Muppets)

*Muppet Sports: Cheese Olympics.

*Some serious dude(looks a bit like Nixon) gives a speech on TV humor gone awry...until the camera zooms out to reveal that he's wearing a tutu(!)

*Musical number: "Love Ya to Death" by The Electric Mayhem

Kermit: Well ladies and gentlemen, we've reached the end of tonight's show. It's been great having you with us here and we hope to see yoou again next week

(credits roll)

 

[crazed gonzo fa]

You must have put a lot of work into this. It's awesome! Thanks! Any chance of more?

 

[muppet maniac]

You must have put a lot of work into this. It's awesome! Thanks! Any chance of more?

I might have some more coming, thinking I'd include guest stars like Jackie Wright(he's the bald, short old guy from The Benny Hill Show, the one who always gets "slapped" on the head) and Ringo Staar. Maybe one of the Monty Python guys as well?

Right now I'm still working on a TMS outline(not the alternate like this one, I mean the TMS that aready exists) with Benny Hill and an outline for "The New Scooby-Doo Movies" with the Sesame Street gang.

 

[minor muppetz]

That style seemed more like The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence than The Muppet Show.

 

[muppet maniac]

I'm going to be writing more "alternate" Muppet Show outlines soon, which will follow the same format as the "Sex and Violence" pilot, which would have Kermit added to the regular cast along with Nigel, Sam and Floyd.

Here's a list of episodes that would've been made:

#1-Sex and Violence (re-shot)
*Quiet, Please
*Muppet Election Party
*Puppets in Focus
*What Not to Do With Cheese
*Shock, Horror, and Huh?
*

...and I'll think up of some more later. Also expect to see some Sesame Street Muppets pop up from time to time.