Ernie and the string

minor muppetz

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(Ernie is walking and humming. He walsk past Lefty)
Lefty: Psst, hey, bud.
Ernie: Who, me?
Lefty: Shhh!!
Ernie: (whispering) Who, me?
Lefty: Riiiiight. I've got an incredible offer for you.
Ernie: Really?
Lefty: It's incredible! It's spectacular! It's stupendious!
Ernie: What is it?
Lefty: (opens coat, revealing string) It's string.
Ernie: String!?
Lefty: Shhh!!!
Ernie: (whispering) String?
Lefty: Riiiiiight.
Ernie: What would I want string for?
Lefty: Well, suppose the string on your yo-yo broke.
Ernie: Oh, then I'd just tie it back together.
Lefty: Oh, well, uh, what if your jump rope broke?
Ernie: Then I'd tie that back together.
Lefty: Oh, well, uh, what if you had some spaghetti, but then decided that you would rather have somethign else, that looks liek spaghetti but isn't?
Ernie: Well, I wouldn't eat string. My friend Cookie Monster might, but not me.
Lefty: Well, uh, uh, uh, what if, uh, um, uh, what if yu lost your, uh, shoe strings.
Ernie: Oh, then I'd buy a new pair of shoes. Unlikely, though, since I've had the same pair for 37 years.
Lefty: But what if you didn't have the money to buy new shoes?
Ernie: Oh, then I'd buy some string....
Lefty: And you can buy some string right now!
Ernie: Oh, that's great! How much is the string?
Lefty: It'll cost you three nickles!
Ernie: Okay, then. (checks pocket) Uh, I'm sorry, but I only have a dime and a nickle. Maybe some other time.
Lefty: oh. (sighs)
(Ernie leaves)
Lefty: (sudden realization) Hey, wait a minute! Come back here! (chases Ernie)
 
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