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Sam and Friends BookOkay, since so many complain about Elmo, I decided to coin a new version of the old adage...if you can't beat 'em, parody 'em. My friends and I, even in grade school, loved to burp - as many boys do. So...
(Intro: Elmo loves his *burp* Excuse Elmo. Elmo loves his goldfish (picture shows crayon writing "Elmo's World")...Hey, Elmo didn't have time to say Elmo loves his crayon.
Oh well, Hi, this is Elmo's world. Guess what Elmo's thinking about today? La da da daaaaarp! Excuse Elmo. Oh, just a minute. (Elmo goes to door, opens it only to find a very large belch coming from outside that rattles the room.)
Burping. You know, burping.
(Music montage of children belching - a child drinks soda pop and belches, an older kid burps at the dinner table very loudly, and after a couple girls burp softly and giggle, a kid belches "hello, Elmo.")
There sure are lots of different types of burps. But, what makes you burp? Let's ask Mr. Noodle. Oh, shade. (Shade opens, Mr. Noodle eats a piece of meat, drinks tap water, and then drinks iced tea before children finally get him to drink soda pop and burp.)
Thanks, Mr. Noodle. That makes Elmo wonder, how do you burp?
(Video of several children showing how they burp after drinking pop, and finally of a schoolgirl named Kiersten with a little boy.)
Kiersten: Elmo, this is how I burp my baby brother. (She burps him)
Wow! Now, Elmo will ask a baby. (Walks over) Hi, Baby. How do you burp?
(Kiersten comes on stage)
Kiersten: Elmo, I was just showing you, weren't you watching?
Elmo: Elmo guesses not.
K: "Elmo, babies can't burp themselves."
E: "They can't?"
K: "No." She picks the baby up. "Now, pay attention this time, Elmo." (She burps the baby.) See how it's done?
E: Oh, yeah, Elmo sees now.
K: But, you don't have to say excuse me for the baby, even though you should always say excuse me when you burp.
E: Oh, right. Elmo should always say Excuse Elmo.
G: No, not "excuse Elmo," it's "excuse me." Why can you use third person pronouns and not first person?
Elmo: Elmo doesn't understand Kiersten. (Girl gives Bert-like exasperated noise and walks off witht he baby)
Anyway, thanks, Kiersten. Elmo's friend Jimmy and his older brother Johnny like to drink lots of pop, run around fast, and have belching contests. And they told Elmo all about it.
Jimmy: Hi, I'm Jimmy. This is my brother Johnny.
Johnny: We're up to a record of two minutes between us. Which means, thanks to Jimmy here, we can sing a song.
Jimmy: It's the ABC song. Why don't you join in!
(Johnny and Jimmy belch while saying the ABCs, taking turns saying each letter)
Elmo: That was fun. What else belches? (Elmo asks if a birthday cake, a frisbee, and a trash can can belch. At the last, Oscar comes out of his can and peels off a loud one, saying grouches love to burp.)
Elmo: Thanks, Oscar. Now..
Computer: Elmo has mail, Elmo...*burp*
Elmo: Say "Excuse me," computer.
Kiersten (offstage): See, Elmo, you can use first person pronouns after all.
Elmo (ignoring her): Oh, boy, Elmo has e-mail from his friend Baby Bear and his little sister Curly Bear.
Baby Bear: Hi, Elmo. Guess what? Curly Bear used to be a baby, and Mom or Dad had to burp her.. Then, I learned how. But now that she's bigger, Curly Bear can now burp herself. Listen as I, the proud big brother, give her a sippy cup full of pop and show off my baby sister's newest found skill. (Curly drinks from it and burps.) Say excuse me, Curly.
Curly: Scuse me.
Baby Bear: Aw, that's great, I am so proud that my little sister can burp!
Kiersten (offscreen still): See, Elmo, even Curly can say "Excuse me" and not "Excuse Curly"
Elmo: Yeah, she's really growing up. Now, let's see, where can Elmo find out more? Hey, we can watch the burping channel!
TV: (Announcer belches the words: It's the burping channel, all burps, all the time.) Oh, sorry, had a lot of gas right there, so I guess we can't show you anything. Anyway, tune in next time, to see Julia Children making Belchin' Waffles.
Elmo: Oh, boy. Elmo's so happy.
Kiersten's voice (offstage) I"m so happy!
Elmo: Kiersten's happy, too. So, why don't we sing the burping song. (Elmo plays the piano while peeling off several very loud burps.)
(End SS segment)
Oscar: What's that, Slimy? Yeah, I kind of liked that, too. All those gross noises just tug at an old grouch's heartstrings...
----------------------------
My likely only long parody of a SS skit, but I found it funny enough to not only put in a comedy tape for cousins and a sister & brother-in-law who are missionaries in England, I thought I'd also post it hear after I thought ot it. (My sig has an item from an earlier such tape.)
(Intro: Elmo loves his *burp* Excuse Elmo. Elmo loves his goldfish (picture shows crayon writing "Elmo's World")...Hey, Elmo didn't have time to say Elmo loves his crayon.
Oh well, Hi, this is Elmo's world. Guess what Elmo's thinking about today? La da da daaaaarp! Excuse Elmo. Oh, just a minute. (Elmo goes to door, opens it only to find a very large belch coming from outside that rattles the room.)
Burping. You know, burping.
(Music montage of children belching - a child drinks soda pop and belches, an older kid burps at the dinner table very loudly, and after a couple girls burp softly and giggle, a kid belches "hello, Elmo.")
There sure are lots of different types of burps. But, what makes you burp? Let's ask Mr. Noodle. Oh, shade. (Shade opens, Mr. Noodle eats a piece of meat, drinks tap water, and then drinks iced tea before children finally get him to drink soda pop and burp.)
Thanks, Mr. Noodle. That makes Elmo wonder, how do you burp?
(Video of several children showing how they burp after drinking pop, and finally of a schoolgirl named Kiersten with a little boy.)
Kiersten: Elmo, this is how I burp my baby brother. (She burps him)
Wow! Now, Elmo will ask a baby. (Walks over) Hi, Baby. How do you burp?
(Kiersten comes on stage)
Kiersten: Elmo, I was just showing you, weren't you watching?
Elmo: Elmo guesses not.
K: "Elmo, babies can't burp themselves."
E: "They can't?"
K: "No." She picks the baby up. "Now, pay attention this time, Elmo." (She burps the baby.) See how it's done?
E: Oh, yeah, Elmo sees now.
K: But, you don't have to say excuse me for the baby, even though you should always say excuse me when you burp.
E: Oh, right. Elmo should always say Excuse Elmo.
G: No, not "excuse Elmo," it's "excuse me." Why can you use third person pronouns and not first person?
Elmo: Elmo doesn't understand Kiersten. (Girl gives Bert-like exasperated noise and walks off witht he baby)
Anyway, thanks, Kiersten. Elmo's friend Jimmy and his older brother Johnny like to drink lots of pop, run around fast, and have belching contests. And they told Elmo all about it.
Jimmy: Hi, I'm Jimmy. This is my brother Johnny.
Johnny: We're up to a record of two minutes between us. Which means, thanks to Jimmy here, we can sing a song.
Jimmy: It's the ABC song. Why don't you join in!
(Johnny and Jimmy belch while saying the ABCs, taking turns saying each letter)
Elmo: That was fun. What else belches? (Elmo asks if a birthday cake, a frisbee, and a trash can can belch. At the last, Oscar comes out of his can and peels off a loud one, saying grouches love to burp.)
Elmo: Thanks, Oscar. Now..
Computer: Elmo has mail, Elmo...*burp*
Elmo: Say "Excuse me," computer.
Kiersten (offstage): See, Elmo, you can use first person pronouns after all.
Elmo (ignoring her): Oh, boy, Elmo has e-mail from his friend Baby Bear and his little sister Curly Bear.
Baby Bear: Hi, Elmo. Guess what? Curly Bear used to be a baby, and Mom or Dad had to burp her.. Then, I learned how. But now that she's bigger, Curly Bear can now burp herself. Listen as I, the proud big brother, give her a sippy cup full of pop and show off my baby sister's newest found skill. (Curly drinks from it and burps.) Say excuse me, Curly.
Curly: Scuse me.
Baby Bear: Aw, that's great, I am so proud that my little sister can burp!
Kiersten (offscreen still): See, Elmo, even Curly can say "Excuse me" and not "Excuse Curly"
Elmo: Yeah, she's really growing up. Now, let's see, where can Elmo find out more? Hey, we can watch the burping channel!
TV: (Announcer belches the words: It's the burping channel, all burps, all the time.) Oh, sorry, had a lot of gas right there, so I guess we can't show you anything. Anyway, tune in next time, to see Julia Children making Belchin' Waffles.
Elmo: Oh, boy. Elmo's so happy.
Kiersten's voice (offstage) I"m so happy!
Elmo: Kiersten's happy, too. So, why don't we sing the burping song. (Elmo plays the piano while peeling off several very loud burps.)
(End SS segment)
Oscar: What's that, Slimy? Yeah, I kind of liked that, too. All those gross noises just tug at an old grouch's heartstrings...
----------------------------
My likely only long parody of a SS skit, but I found it funny enough to not only put in a comedy tape for cousins and a sister & brother-in-law who are missionaries in England, I thought I'd also post it hear after I thought ot it. (My sig has an item from an earlier such tape.)
