Compilation Fan Fic: Muppet Filming From The Balcony

[Dil]

In honor of Statler and Waldorf from The Balcony, I've made an outline of a Playhouse Muppet Compilation that would've been released in 2006.

DESCRIPTION: Statler & Waldorf interviews and films some clips from The Muppet Show.

NOTES: Words in bold are Balconisms, and underlined words are what is shown at the beginning of the musical number clips.

(At the beginning, we see the same opening of the early opening of Statler and Waldorf from The Balcony, except that it's a little bit longer, and the title says Muppet Filming From The Balcony. Afterwards, we now see the shot of S & W at the balcony.)

STATLER: "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Muppet Filming From The Balcony. I'm Statler..."

WALDORF: "And I'm Waldorf. We're here at the balcony, to film some clips from The Muppet Show, where we loved to hate to be, here with this here movie camera that my great-great grandson gave us."

STATLER: "And, if that isn't enough, we've got a lot of..."

BOTH: "Balconisms!"

WALDORF: "Today's first balconism is Puppet-Tear. A Puppet-Tear is someone who performs a puppet, while the eyes are wet."

STATLER: "And speaking of puppet, Pinnochio is one living piece of wood without strings, whose nose grows when he tells a lie."

WALDORF: "How wood we like to see Pinnochio lying on a seat down from here in the balcony?"


(Both laugh.)

STATLER: "Well, without further ado, here's-a Puppetman!"

(S & W rolls the film, and instert a clip of Puppetman.)

("Puppetman"
May 30, 1981
Album: Rock Around The Clock)

WALDORF: "Well, wood you like to know what the next balconism is? The next one is Enter-Tainer. An Enter-Tainer is what you do to entertainer while going in the house. And I hope that bear doesn't enter-tain us!"


(Both laugh.)

WALDORF: "One of Scott Joplin's songs, The Entertainer, rarely have lyrics. So let's hear those Entertaining lyrics from Milton Berle."

STATLER: "I've seen that comedian since the 1940's."

WALDORF: "What if that guy's brand new, he could be a Com-Edy. A Com-Edy is someone who does a routine on the internet."

STATLER: "You've said two balconisms this time. Next time, just one."

WALDORF: "Let's watch THIS one."

(S & W roll the film, and instert a clip of The Entertainer.)

("The Entertainer"
November 14, 1977
Album: Classical "Lyrical" Hits)

STATLER: "I love Entertainments."

WALDORF: "What kind of Entertainment is your favorite?"


STATLER: "The closing!"

(Both laugh.)

WALDORF: "Anyway, our next balconism is Wrap-Sody. A Wrap-Sody is the way you do to put ropes around a piano, and tighten the music. This one song Rowlf sang is quiet but something to do with loud things."

STATLER: "Why do the dum Muppets do the opposite of what Kermit tells them to do?"

(S & W roll the film, and instert a clip of When.)

("When"
February 27, 1978
Album: Silly Rhapsodies by Rowlf)

(Then insterts a clip of The Rhyming Song.)

("The Rhyming Song"
October 26, 1978
Album: Unrhymable Songs)

STATLER: "What a ironic couple of songs!"


WALDORF: "How about Iron-Ic. Iron-Ic is an opposite piece of metal or mineral which sounds, looks, feels, tastes, and smells icky."

STATLER: "Any old iron?"

(Waldorf plugs in an iron that flattens the clothes.)

STATLER: "My good joke."

(S & W roll film and instert a clip of Any Old Iron.)

("Any Old Iron"
February 6, 1978
Album: London's Favorites)

(Then insterts a clip of the Pigs in Space: Dirth Nadir sketch.)


(Then insterts a clip of the Muppet Newsflash: Fishing Season sketch.)

WALDORF: "Tell me, Statler, have you ever gone fishing?"

STATLER: "Well, Waldorf, I've caugten a ball made out of rubber."

WALDORF: "You mean about the Rubber-Band? A Rubber-Band is a group of things made of rubber that plays music."


STATLER: "Yes, a Rubber-Band, once onstage with Lynda Carter."

(A Rubber Band Man appears.)

WALDORF: "Is that the guy that you caught while fishing?"

(A Lynda Carter Muppet appears.)

LYNDA CARTER MUPPET: "Is that the guy I'm trying to get?"

WALDORF: "Here! Fetch!"

(Waldorf throws the Rubber Band man out of the balcony, then the Lynda Carter Muppet leaves and tries to get it, then Waldorf chuckles.)

WALDORF: "She fell for it."

STATLER: "Ever heard of some Sweet 'Gingerbread Man'?"

WALDORF: "Be it... Moneybank man."

(S & W roll the film instert a clip of RubberBand Man.)

("RubberBand Man"
February 14, 1980
Album: Act Like Music)

(Then insterts a clip of Sweet Gingerbread Man.)

("Sweet Gingerbread Man"
November 28, 1977
Album: Musical Sweets)

STATLER: "I love to use some balconisms."

WALDORF: "Yeah, me too. Our next balconism is Ham-let, a ham-let is a piglet who said 'To be or not to be.'"

STATLER: "Pigs Pigs Pigs. Grade 2B."

WALDORF: "2B or not 2B?"


(Both laugh.)

(S & W roll the film and instert a clip of a Veterinarian's Hospital: Hamlet sketch.)

(Then insterts a clip of Happy Wanderer.)

("Happy Wanderer"
September 20, 1979
Album: Pig's Song)

WALDORF: "That was my favorite song since the 1930's."

STATLER: "Can't you let ME tell a balconism?! Ahem, the next one is Dez-sert. A dez-sert is something to do with ice cream that is sandy."


WALDORF: "I'M supposed to say the balconisms. Anyway, I'd love to be at the land of the sand, especially with Chris Langham."

(S & W roll the film and instert a clip of Hawaiian Cowboy.)

("Hawaiin Cowboy
January 31, 1981
Album: Hello, Hawaii)

WALDORF: "Well, time is running out, and our dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Our last balconism for today is Com-Edy..."

STATLER: "You said it before!"

WALDORF: "Oh, sorry. You know, this number has nothing to be afraid of and nothing to worry about..."


STATLER: "ENOUGH 'NOTHING'S!"

WALDORF: "Alright. I like Comedians, but not that bear."

(S & W roll the film & instert a clip of Comedy Tonight.)

("Comedy Tonight"
October 18, 1976
Album: Nothing but laughter)

(Then insterts a clip of Variety Drag.)

("Variety Drag"
October 31, 1977
Album: Stat & Wall time)

STATLER: "That dum ol' bear can't EVER heckle us. We always heckle HIM. No paybacks! I don't want to pay back."

(Both laugh.)

WALDORF: "We only love numbers WE did."

STATLER: "Anyway, Waldorf, have you said a new balconism? Say it, or I'll crush that camera w--!"

WALDORF: "Don't you do that!?"

(Statlers destroys the camera with a hammer.)

STATLER: "Hammer! Well, time!"


WALDORF: "C.U.! Later!"


(Both laugh.)

(While we see the clips going out of control, the credits roll on the screen.)

That's the end of the outline. What do you think of that?

 

[ReneeLouvier]

It's really neat!

 

[minor muppetz]

That was good. At first, I thought that it was going to be a compilation for From the Balcony. Good job with the clips. Did you look at the thread in the Classic Muppets folder listing the segments that were included in the compiations? Did you look at the pages for the compilations at Muppet Wiki? Have you actually seen all of the compilation videos? Or is it just a coincidence that none of the clips you included were in any of the previous compilation videos?

 

[MartyMuppets]

This is the first time I've noticed this Dil.
It's excellent.

 

[Barry Lee]

I thought it was pretty good Dil... good job.

 

[Dil]

Just Imagine this:

The Lynda Carter Muppet would be a likeness of Lynda Carter.
The Muppet Version would have beady eyes and a black mouth with a pink tongue.
The Lynda Carter Muppet would be voiced by Lynda Carter herself, as performer Eric Jacobson would puppeteer the Muppet.