Biff and Sully's Car Race

[minor muppetz]

Biff, Sully, and Stella were wokring on a new construction project. Sully was pushing a cart of bricks, while Stela was carrying large wooden planks.

"Okay, Sully", said Biff, "You put the bricks over there, and Stella, you move those planks the other way".

"Yo!", said Stella, who moved in the opposite direction.

"Ah, Sully, we are going to do a good job today", said Biff.

Sully was about to say something, but then the lunch whistle blew.

"Oh, Sully, it's lunch time", said Biff, "We can finish this later".

They went to the lunch area and had their lunch.

"Mmmm, I've got a great lunch", said Biff, "I've got a hamburger and some mashed potatoes and peas and cole slaw... What do you have, Sully?"

Sully was about to answer when Biff interrupted him:

"Hey, Sully, look at that flyer on the wall! There is going to be a car race this weekend!"

Biff took a closer look at the flyer.

"It says that anybody can enter, and must build their own car, and must have a driver and passenger. We're pretty good at building things. How about we enter the race together?"

Sully just shook his head.

"No? You don't want to enter the race?", asked Biff.

Sully shook his head again.

"But... but why not?", asked Biff.

Sully was about to answer, before he got interrupted by a mean-looking orange gold anything mupet construction worker.

"Because he knows that nobody can beat us!", remarked the mean orange gold construction worker, who was standing with his partner, a green anything muppet construction worker.

"Oh, hi Max, hi Jimbo", said Biff.

Sully shivered, too frightened to talk to them.

"We've entered this race every year", said Max (the orange gold one), and we've never lost."

"Duh, anybody who competes against us must be stupid", said Jimbo.

"Oh, yeah?", said Biff, "Well, we ain't stupid! Sully and I are going to enter and win the race!"

Sully just shook his head.

"Well, it looks like Sully doens't want to enter", said Jimbo.

"I always knew that Sully was the smart one", said Max, who then put his hands on Suly's shoulders, shook him, and then pushed him down.

Max and Jimbo laughed.

"Duh, maybe we should do the same to Biff", said Jimbo.

But then the whistle blew.

"Maybe later", said Max, "Now it's time to go back to work."

Max and Jimbo left, and Sully got up, dizzy.

"Well, Sully, are you sure you don't want to be in the race?", asked Biff.

Sully shook his head.

"You mean.. You mean you're not sure? You will enter with me?"

Sully nodded.

"Oh, great!", said Biff, "And we are going to win!"

Sully fainted.

 

[minor muppetz]

chapter 2

Later that day, Biff and Sully went to Biff's garage, where they built a race car. The car was almost completed, and all that was left were the tires.

"Well, we've got to put some tires on the car, and I've got four tires", said Biff, who got out the tires... Except that they were square tires, not round.

Sully was about to say something, but Biff interrupted him.

"These tires don't look right, Sully", said Biff.

Sully nodded in agreement.

"These tires are shaped like squares, and tires are supposed to be shaped like circles. And the tire store is closed right now."

Sully had an idea, but was interrupted by Biff before he could speak.

"I know!", said Biff, "I'll call some of my friends and see if they have any spare tires. That's what I'll do. I'll start with Oscar."

Biff went to the phone, as Sully got out a chain saw and started sawing at the tires.

Biff got on the phone.

"Hello, Oscar?", said Biff.

"Who is this?", asked Oscar, grouchily.

"It's me, Biff!"

"Oh, hi, BIff", said Oscar, "Now BEAT IT!"

"Oscar, I was wondering if you have any spare tires I could borrow."

"Yes, I do", said Oscar, "I've got four of them, and they are all flat!"

"Oh, then nevermind", said Biff, "I'll just call somebody else".

"And SCRAM!", shouted Oscar, who slammed the phone down on the reciever.

"Hmm, Oscar didn't have any unflat tires", said Biff, "Maybe Bruno has some at the city dump.

Biff got on the phone and attempted to talk to Bruno.

"Hello, Bruno", said Biff, whose talkign was then obscurred by Sully loudly sawing the square tires into circles.

Biff shouted at Sully, "Keep it down, I"m trying to use the phone!"

Sully managed to turn the volume on the saw down.

"So, Bruno, do you have any tires at the city dump or not?", asked Biff. "You don't? Well, thanks anyway".

Biff hung up.

"Hmm, maybe Forgetful Jones will have some tires", said Biff.

Biff caled Forgetful Jones.

"Hello, Forgetful Jones, this is Biff".

"Biff who?", asked Forgetful Jones, "I don't know any Biff".

"Sure you do", said Biff.

"Oh, yeah", said Forgetful Jones, "I forgot".

"Anyway, I need your help", said Biff, "I am entering a race and I need some round tires. Do you have any that I can borrow?"

"Tires?" What are tires?", asked Forgetful Jones.

"Tires are round objects that you put on cars in order to get them to move", said Biff, "Do you have any or not?"

"I forget", said Forgetful Jones, "I'll ask Buster".

Forgetful Jones faced Buster and asked, "Do I have any round tires?"

"No, you don't", said Buster, "You don't even have a car".

"Oh, yeah", said Forgetful Jones, "I forgot".

Forgetful Jones picked up the phone and said, "Sorry, no round tires". Forgetful then hung up, forgeting to say "bye".

"Well, that's three people who don't have any tires that we can use", said Biff, "I'll call the Count."

Biff called the Count, but there was no answer. The Count was around, though, counting the rings.

"One, one ring. Two rings. Three rings! Four rings! Five rings! Six, six wonderful rings! A ha ha!"

Thunder and lightening appeared as the phone stopped ringing.

By this time, Sully had made the tires round and was about to tell Biff, but then the dorbell rang.

"I'll get it", said Biff, who answered the door. It was Lefty.
"Psst! Hey, bud...", said Lefty.
"Who, me?", said Biff.

"Shhhh!", said Lefty.

"Who, me?", said Biff, in a shofter voice.

"Riiiight", said Lefty, "I've got the deal of the week!"

"Oh, I hope that it's four round tires", said Biff.

"Actually, it's only one round tire", said Lefty.

"Well, one is better than none", said Biff, who loudly said, "I'll take it!"

"Shhh", said Lefty.

"I'll take it", whispered Biff.

"Riiiight", said Lefty, "That'll be a nickle".

Biff came back to the garage.

"Well, Sully, I've got us one round tire", said Biff, "Now we need three more".

But then Biff noticed that Sully made made the square ones into round tires.

"Sully, you've made our tires round", said Biff, "Now I don't need this fifth one".

Biff went outside, and spotted Lefty.

"Hey, I don't need this tire anymore. Can I have my nickle back?", asked BIff.

"oh, no", thought Lefty, who quickly ran away.

"Oh, well", said Biff, "Maybe we'll need a spare tire during the race".

 

[minor muppetz]

chapter 3

It was the day of the race. A large crowd of people came to watch the event.

"Hey, Uncle Biff", said Roxie Marie, "God luck".

"Thanks, Roxie", said Biff, "Sully and I will need it".

"Well, whatever you do, don't give up", said Roxie Marie.

"Come on", said Kingston Livingston III, "Let's find us a place to sit and watch the race".

"Yeah", said Roxie Marie.

Max and Jimbo then approached Biff and Sully.

"WEll, well, well, this is your car, eh?", said Max.

"Yes, it is", said Biff.

"Duh, we still gonna beat you cuz we smarter and faster", said Jimbo.

"Well, we'll just see about that", said Biff.

"Yeah", remaked Max, "When pigs fly!"

Ernie and Bert were sitting on the bench watching the race.
"Well, it's a good day for a race", said Bert.

"Yup, Bert", said Ernie, "Who do you think will win?"

"That depends", said Bert, "Do any of the racers have bottlecaps?"

Mr. Johnson decided to get himself some refreshments for the race.

"I hope that they have hot dogs and soda", said Mr. Johnson, who then saw that Grover was serving the food.

"Oh, no, it's you again!", said Mr. Johnson.

"Yes, it is me", said Grover, "What would you like?"

"I would like a large soda and a hot dog."

"Oh, I am sorry, but we do not serve either", said Grover.

"What?", said Mr. Johnson.

"We only serve healthy refreshments. Would you like a large milk and some carrots?"

Bruno had carried Oscar to the race.

"Well, Bruno, here is the big race", said Oscar, "There's bound to be some crashes, and I can take home all the trash!"

Big Bird and Snuffy also made it to the race.

"Well, I hope that this is a good game", said Snuffy.

"I'm sure that it will be a good game", said Big Bird, "Whoever heard of a bad race?"

The Count was counting the race cars.

"One, two, three, four, five race cars! A ha ha!"

Kermit was at the race, in his reporter attire.

"Hi, ho, Kermit the Frog here, reporting on today's big race. And now, I wil interview some of the racers".

Kermit went to a car that was being driven by a tortose and a hare.

"So, what made you two decide to enter the race?", asked Kermit.

"Well, I am very fast", said the tortose, "And my friend the hare is very smart".

"And so naturally", said the hare, "We should be able to win the race".

"A ha", said Kermit, "Well, I hope that you win".

"Thanks", said the hare.

"Gracias", said the tortose.

"And now we'll go over to the next racers, a road runer and a coyotie. Do you think that you two will win?"

"Of course we will", said the coyotie, "I am a super genius."

"And I am super fast", said the road runner.

"I just hope that your speed is as fast when you drive", said the coyotie.

"And we'd like to tell everybody that all of the matrerials we used were from ACME products", said the road runner.

"But... But the A word company isn't one of our sponsors", said Kermit.

"Telly Monster was also reporting, for "MOnster on the Spot".

"And now I am interviewing Biff and Sully", said Telly, "Two good friends of mine. So what made you two decide to race?"

"Well, I wanted to enter, and we both wanted to defeat our mean co-workers, Max and Jimbo", said Biff.

"Yes, they are are mean", said Telly, "And they never lose".

"Well, we hope that this wil be the firs ttime they lose", said Biff.

"But remember", said Tely, "It's just a game".

"No it's not!", shouted Max, "It's a chance to win a big prize!"

"Duh, actually, the prize goes to charity", said Jimbo.

"What?", asked Max, "Then what's the point of racing?"

Big Bird, Roxie Marie, Kingston Livingston III, Ernie, Bert, Cookie Monster, Herry, Snuffy, Stella, and Herbert Birdsfoot were all sitting togetehr.

"Go, Uncle Biff!", shouted Roxie Marie.

"Yeah, go Biff and Sully!", said Herry.

"Buy me a cookie", said Cookie Monster.

"We're pulling for you", said Ernie.

Guy Smiley then entered at the starting line.

"Okay, everybody, it's time for the big race!", said Guy Smiley, "But before that, here is the national anthem as performed by Hoots the Owl!"

"Thank you, thank you", said Hoots, who played the national anthem on his saxaphone. Everybody applauded.

"And now", said Guy Smiley, "On your marks, get set, go!"

The cars all drove off, and all were speding... except for Biff and Sully's. It was going slowly.

"Shouldn't this thing go faster?", asked Biff.

But just then the tires all popped, and the engine exploded.

"Oh, dear", said Snuffy.

"That's one slow car", said The Count.

"Heh, heh, heh, I'm going to enjoy this race", said Oscar.

 

[minor muppetz]

chapter 4

"Well, it look as if Biff and Suly won't be finishing the race", said Kermit, "Their car has broken down, and it wil be hard to repalce the tires and fix the engine in such a small amount of time".

"How terrible!", said a concerned Telly, "If they can't finish the race... Maybe others won't be able to finish the race!"

"It's just a race, Telly", said Kermit, "And I'm sure that there will be a winner".

"Oh, this is awful, Sully", said Biff, "We need to fix this thing fast".

Sully nodded in agreement.

Biff got out of the car, carrying some tools.

"I'll fix the engine", said Biff.

Way down the road, Max and Jimbo were in the lead.

"We're going to win... Again!", said Max.

"Duh, you said it", said Jimbo, "Unless pigs fly, of course".

Just then, Jimbo looked up in the sky and saw some pigs flying.

"Hey, look!", said Jimbo, "Flying pigs!"

Max looked up, and then crashed into a tree. The air bag popped out.

"Duh, it's certainly a good thing we were wearing our seatbelts and had the air bag", said Jimbo.

"Quiet!", said Max, "If the viewers see that the bad guys wear seatbelts, they might chose not to wear their seatbelts".

"Duh, but we're not really bad guys", said Jimbo, "I mena, we haven't done anything to cheat in order to win, and we haven't tried to kill our oponents".

"You may not have", said Max.

In the audience...

"Well, it looks like the tortose and the hare are going to win", said Bert.

"I feel sorry for Biff and Suly", said Ernie.

"But at least they are okay", said Big Bird.

"They are fixing the car the best that they can", said Herbert Birdsfoot.

"Yo!", said Stella.

Indeed, the engine was about to be completed.

"Hey, Sully, the engine is fixed", said Biff, "Step on the gas".

Sully did, and the car suddenly blasted off like a rocket, past Biff.

"And now Bif and Suly's car is back in the race", said Kermit, "Without wheels or a driver!"

"Oh, no!", said Telly.

Indeed, Suly was in the passenger seat, and put his hands on the sterring wheel, trying to control the car as best as he could. He quickly got his seatbelt off and scooted over the the drivers seat.

"It looks like Sully is switching seats while the car is moving", said Kermit.

"Which, you must add, is very dangerous", said Telly.

Biff started running after the car.

"Hey, Sully, come back!", shouted Biff, "I need to ride with you!"

The tortose and the hare's car was about to make it past the finsih line, but then Sully quickly beat that car, going past the line.

"And the winner is Sully, without Biff!", said Guy Smiley.

The crowd cheered.

"That is great driving", said Oscar, "Who says you need wheels to drive?"

But then when Suly stepped on the breaks, he couldn't get the car to stop. He nervously put his fot down on the break, but then the car crashed into a brick wall.

"Oh, no!", shouted the crowd.

But then it was back to the beginning of the race. It turns out that Suly has just been thinking all of what had just hapened.

"Hey, Sully! Suly!", said Biff, "What are you thinking about?"

Sully was about to answer...

"The race is about to begin", interrupted Biff.

"On your marks, get set, go!", shouted Guy Smiley, and the race began, this time in reality, not in Sully's imagination.

 

[minor muppetz]

chapter 5

The race bagn. Biff and Sully started out in first, right in front of Max and Jimbo.

"We're in the lead, Sully, we're in the lead!", said Biff.

"Duh, they are actually beating us", said Jimbo.

"Not if I can help it", said Max, who took out a wrench and threw it at Biff and Sully, nbearly knocking them off the track.

"Hey, they almost hurt us", said Biff.

The other cars then past them.

"Oh, no", cried Biff, "Now we're last!"

"Hey, my Uncle Biff just demonstrated first and last", said Roxie Marie, "He was first in the race, and now he's last".

"But he still in last", said Cookie Monster.

"Quiet, said Herry, "I'm trying to watch the race!"

"What a cute little race", said Grover, "All of the cars are riding safely".

"Well, Bruno", said Oscar, "If it weren't for that racer throwing his wrench at Biff and Sully, this whole thing would have been a letdown".

"Well, so far, Max and Jimbo are in the elad", said Kermit.

"And Biff and Sully are in last", said Telly.

"No, actualy they are catching up", said Kermit.

It was true. Biff and Sully were now just in front of them.

"You two back again?", said Max.

"Yes, we are", said Biff, "I'd throw your wrench back at you, except that we didn't have time to get out of the car."

"Well, we've got more supplies to throw at you", said Max, "Jimbo, where is the tool box?"

"It's in the back of our car", said Jimbo.

"Dang it", said Max, "Take the steering wheel while I look in back."

Max got into the back of the car, looking for tools to throw at Biff and Sully, and Jimbo took the steering wheel, only he didn't know how to drive, and the car went off the road, and crashed into a tree.

"Hey, Sully, we're first again!", said Biff.

Biff and Sully then drove right past the finish line. A camnera flashed.

"It's a photo finish!", said Guy Smiley.

"How can it be a photo finish?", asked Roxie Marie, "Uncle Biff and Sully's car was the only one to go past the finish line at the same time."

"Well, it looks like Biff and Sully won", said Kermit.

Kermit walked over to Biff and Sully.

"So, how does it feel to have won the race?", asked Kermit.

"Oh, it feels terriffic", said Biff.

"How do you feel, Sully?", asked Kermit.

"Oh, Sully feels good, too", interrupted Biff.

"And you two get to chose who gets the prize money", said Kermit, "Have you decided?"

"Yes, we have", said Biff, "We would like to donate our money to Sesame Workshop. Hey, Joan, if you are watching, can you get us back on the show?"

"Well, there you have it", said Kermit, "And in other news, Max and Jimbo have been arreested for attempting to crash the other cars.

"We were just having fun!", Max lied to the police.

"Duh, why do I go to jail?", said Jimbo, "I didn't want to cheat."

The End