Beat the Time with Statler and Waldorf

mikealan

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Enjoy the fan-fic with :sleep: and :boo: , plus a non-Henson character as for your request!

(The scene starts with the "Beat the Time" logo with stars on the blue background)

(drum roll)

ANNOUNCER: And now it's time for our popular stunt show, "Beat...the...TIME!"

(audience cheers; scene fades to a game-show set which looks like the one from "The Price Is Right" as game-show music from Beat the Time with Elmo and Guy Smiley Taking His Studio Audience For Lunch sketch plays.)

ANNOUNCER: And here's our star of our show, Guy Smiley!

(audience cheers again as Guy Smiley enters the studio through the curtains with a brief struggle.)

GUY SMILEY: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Hi there and welcome to another edition of Beat the Time, the show that has been rated for 18,708 stars! (game-show music fades away) This is your well-known star of daytime television, Guy Smiley. And now to get things started, let's start off with today's two contestants, the men who have been watching us on our show and who have been watching "The Muppet Show" every night, Statler and Waldorf!

(Statler and Waldorf get up from the audience and go onstage.)

STATLER: You know, Waldorf, I think this is our first time playing this show.

WALDORF: Yeah, better than watching it all the time!

(Both Statler and Waldorf chuckle)

GUY SMILEY: All right Statler and Waldorf, are you two ready for today's stunt?

STATLER: You bet we are!

WALDORF: Not if our today's stunt goes bad.

(Both Statler and Waldorf chuckle again)

GUY SMILEY: OK, if you two do complete today's stunt, you will win a trip to the Indy 500 Car Race in Minneapolis, Minnesota!

STATLER: Sounds like fun!

WALDORF: Sure does!

(Both Statler and Waldorf chuckle again)

GUY SMILEY: OK. Now, here's what you two must do. In order to win a trip to the car race in Minnesota, you must find one of the popular Indy-type cars you see on television and on movies.

BOTH STATLER AND WALDORF: We have to WHAT?

GUY SMILEY: You two have to find one of the popular Indy-type cars you see on television and on movies, just ONE popular car! But you must do it real quick for 21 seconds before the clock strikes to zero!

STATLER: Hey, that doesn't look like a bad stunt at all.

WALDORF: Yeah, so we can keep on losing it!

(Both Statler and Waldorf chuckle again)

(drum roll)

GUY SMILEY: So be ready, get set and (very loud) GO!

(Time-ticking music from Beat the Time with Elmo starts playing)

BOTH STATLER AND WALDORF: Do we have to?

GUY SMILEY: (very loud again) YES YOU TWO MUST FIND ONE CAR RIGHT NOW! GO, GO, GO!

(Both Statler and Waldorf run off the stage)

GUY SMILEY: Will they do it? Statler and Waldorf are about to find one popular Indy car you see on television and movies, just one car! They now have got 17 seconds left to find it! Can they do it on time?

(Guy looks around to see if Statler and Waldorf are coming back, but they have not re-entered the studio for five seconds!)

GUY SMILEY: What's been taking them so long? Looks like they've been trying to find it and they've got 12 seconds left! Can they do it or not?

(then all of the sudden, rumbling sounds are heard and the lights are beginning to flick)

GUY SMILEY: Wait a minute! What's that sound? Could it be one of the cars they found? Oh, no! Something is coming! It must be---!

(Statler and Waldorf with their sunglasses on crash through the wall while driving on Speed Racer's car! Audience roars and cheers)

GUY SMILEY: WOW! YOU TWO DID IT ON TIME! YOU WIN THE TRIP!

BOTH STATLER AND WALDORF: Did we win?

GUY SMILEY: YES! You two just found ONE Indy car, which was seen on television!

STATLER: You know what it's like to win our game?

WALDORF: No, what is it, Statler?

STATLER: Stealing stuff to win prizes!

(Both Statler and Waldorf chuckle again as Speed Racer opening theme plays throughout the show)

GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! Wonderful, Statler and Waldorf!

(As Guy speaks, Speed Racer (in animated form) enters the studio.)

SPEED RACER: Hey, you two took my car! I need that for my upcoming car race!

GUY SMILEY: Well audience, that's all the time we have for today for today's show. And this is your well-known Guy Smiley saying, "See you on the next fun-filled game of "Beat the Time!" (begins yelling at the stage crew as he notices that Speed Racer's car is in the studio) WILL SOMEBODY GET THIS CAR OUTTA HERE! GET OUR WALL HERE FIXED RIGHT NOW AS WELL!

(scene ends with chaos)
 

mikealan

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Here's the same version with better grammar.

(The scene starts with the "Beat the Time" logo with stars on the blue background)

(drum roll)

ANNOUNCER: And now it's time for the popular stunt show, "Beat...the...TIME!"

(audience cheers; scene fades to a game-show set which looks like the one from "The Price Is Right" as game-show music from Beat the Time with Elmo and Guy Smiley Taking His Studio Audience For Lunch sketch plays.)

ANNOUNCER: And here's the star of our show, Guy Smiley!

(audience cheers again as Guy Smiley enters the studio through the curtains with a brief struggle.)

GUY SMILEY: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Hi there and welcome to another edition of Beat the Time, the show that has been rated with 18,708 stars! (game-show music fades away) And I am your well-known star of daytime television, Guy Smiley. And now to get things started, let's send in today's contestants, the men who have been watching our show and "The Muppet Show" every night, Statler and Waldorf!

(Statler and Waldorf get up from the audience and go onstage.)

STATLER: You know, Waldorf, I think this is our first time as contestants on this show.

WALDORF: Yeah, it's better than watching it all the time!

(Both Statler and Waldorf chuckle)

GUY SMILEY: All right Statler and Waldorf, are you two ready for today's stunt?

STATLER: You bet we are!

WALDORF: But not if our stunt goes bad.

(Both Statler and Waldorf chuckle again)

GUY SMILEY: OK, if you two complete today's stunt, you will win a trip to the Indy 500 Car Race in Minneapolis, Minnesota!

STATLER: Sounds like fun!

WALDORF: Sure does!

(Both Statler and Waldorf chuckle again)

GUY SMILEY: OK. Now, here's what you two must do. In order to win a trip to the greatest car race in Minnesota, you must find and bring me one of the popular Indy-type cars you see on television and in the movies.

BOTH STATLER AND WALDORF: We have to WHAT?

GUY SMILEY: You two have to find one of those popular Indy-type cars you see on television and in movies, just ONE popular car! But you must do it really quickly because you only have 21 seconds on the clock!

STATLER: Say, this is going to be a difficult stunt, eh, Waldorf?

WALDORF: You bet!

(Both Statler and Waldorf chuckle again)

(drum roll)

GUY SMILEY: So get ready, get set and (very loud) GO!

(Time-ticking music from Beat the Time with Elmo starts playing)

BOTH STATLER AND WALDORF: Do we have to?

GUY SMILEY: (very loud again) YES YOU TWO MUST FIND ONE INDY-TYPE CAR RIGHT NOW! GO, GO, GO!

(Both Statler and Waldorf run off the stage)

GUY SMILEY: Will they do it? Statler and Waldorf are trying to find one popular Indy car seen on television and in the movies, just one car! They now have got 17 seconds left to find it! Can they do it on time?

(Guy looks around to see if Statler and Waldorf are coming back, but they have not re-entered the studio for five seconds!)

GUY SMILEY: What's been taking them so long? Looks like they've been trying to find it but they've only got 12 seconds left! Can they do it or not?

(Suddenly, rumbling sounds are heard and the lights are beginning to flicker)

GUY SMILEY: Wait a minute! What's that sound? Oh, no! Something is coming! It must be---!

(Statler and Waldorf wearing sunglasses on crash through the wall while driving in Speed Racer's car! Audience roars and cheers)

GUY SMILEY: WOW! YOU TWO DID IT! YOU BROUGHT BACK AN INDY-TYPE CAR ON TIME! YOU WIN THE TRIP!

BOTH STATLER AND WALDORF: Did we win?

GUY SMILEY: YES! You two delivered ONE Indy car, which has been seen on television!

STATLER: You know what it means to win this game?

WALDORF: No, what is it, Statler?

STATLER: You steal stuff to win prizes! Now that's what we call FUN!

(Both Statler and Waldorf chuckle again as the Speed Racer opening theme plays throughout the show)

GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! Wonderful, Statler and Waldorf!

(As Guy speaks, Speed Racer (in animated form) enters the studio.)

SPEED RACER: Hey, you two took my car! I need that for my upcoming car race!

GUY SMILEY: Well audience, that's all the time we have for today's show. And this is your well-known host Guy Smiley saying, "See you on the next fun-filled game of "Beat the Time!" (begins yelling at the stage crew as he notices that Speed Racer's car is in the studio) WILL SOMEBODY GET THIS CAR OUTTA HERE! GET OUR WALL HERE FIXED RIGHT NOW AS WELL!

(scene ends with chaos)
 

GuySmileyfan

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That was funny. And I'm sorry I took Miss Piggy for Beat the Time before you do.
 
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