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Sam and Friends BookHere is my next Beat the Time fan-fic with another guest contestant from The Muppet Show! Enjoy!
(The scene is the game-show set.)
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time once again for another exciting episode of everybody's favorite wacky stunt show, the show that ran over 46 years, "BEAT...THE TIME!"
(Beat the Time logo that has a clock for it flashes on the screen for four seconds. Then it fades away as drum rolls)
ANNOUNCER: And here is your host of this long-running show, Mr. Guy Smiley!
(Game-show music plays. Audience cheers as Guy Smiley enters the set through the golden curtains with a little loud grunt.)
GUY SMILEY: Yes! Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! This is Guy Smiley, America's favorite game-show host, welcoming you to episode 18,976 of Beat the Time, everybody's favorite long-running wacky stunt show! And according to the CTW TV Guide, it's been rated number five as one of the top ten TV game-shows on the broadcast!
(audience cheers louder as the game-show music fades away.)
GUY SMILEY: And now, to get things started, here is today's contestant, all the way from "The Muppet Show", Mr. Fozzie Bear!
(audience cheers as Fozzie enters the studio.)
FOZZIE BEAR: Aaaaah! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It's a pleasure to be here on this show! (To Guy) Hey, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Hello Fozzie! How are you?
FOZZIE BEAR: Just feeling a bit nervous.
GUY SMILEY: And are you ready for today's wacky stunt?
FOZZIE BEAR: Oh yes I am, Guy! But what does it involve? Telling jokes to your studio audience? Perform different acts like ventriquilism?
GUY SMILEY: No Fozzie, it's not those.
FOZZIE BEAR: Well what do I have to do? I'm one great comedian!
GUY SMILEY: Yes I know you're a comedian, but for today's wacky stunt, you have to find six things that you see at the circus!
FOZZIE BEAR: I have to WHAT?
GUY SMILEY: You have to find six things that you see at the circus and you got 60 seconds on the clock to find them before it reaches the buzzer, you got that?
FOZZIE BEAR: Well, yeah, I'll give it a best shot.
(Drum roll)
GUY SMILEY: OK! Don't start until I say go, OK?
FOZZIE BEAR: Well, OK, Guy.
GUY SMILEY: OK! Ready? 3...2...1...GO!
(Time-clocking music from Beat the Time with Cookie Monster plays.)
FOZZIE BEAR: Can I start now?
GUY SMILEY: YES YOU CAN! JUST GO ALREADY! GO, GO, GO!
FOZZIE BEAR: AAAAAAAH! (runs out of the studio through the curtains.)
GUY SMILEY: Can he do it? Fozzie Bear has to find six things, yes, six things that you see at the circus!
(Fozzie re-enters the studio, bringing a Fat Blue clown Anything Muppet.)
FOZZIE BEAR: I found a clown, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! Clowns are seen at the circus! (as Fozzie runs out of the studio again) Now you have to find five more!
FAT BLUE CLOWN: Hey, that orange bear just interuppted my tricks!
GUY SMILEY: Well, listen, we're doing a television show here and you can't perform tricks here. Please exit immediately!
FAT BLUE CLOWN: Yeah, my pleasure! HMPH! (exits angrily)
GUY SMILEY: Now, Fozzie Bear has 52 seconds to find five more things that you see at the circus! Can he do it?
(Fozzie re-enters the studio again, bringing the Flying Zucchini Brothers from the Muppet Show!)
FOZZIE BEAR: I found the Flying Zucchini Brothers, Guy! They're acrobats!
GUY SMILEY: Yes, terrific! The Flying Zucchini Brothers are acrobats and acrobats are seen at the circus! Now you got to find four more! (Fozzie runs out of the studio again)
FLYING ZUCCHINI BROTHERS: Where are we?
GUY SMILEY: You're on Beat the Time, Zucchini Brothers! Now move off because we're playing a game here!
(The Zucchini Brothers scream and run out of the studio.)
GUY SMILEY: Now, Fozzie's got 46 seconds to find four more things that you see at the circus!
(Fozzie re-enters the studio again, bringing Chicago the Lion)
FOZZIE BEAR: I found a lion, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Great job, Fozzie! That's three things you see at the circus!
FOZZIE BEAR: Now I have to find three more! (runs out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: Yep! Three down and three more to go!
CHICAGO THE LION: Hey, where am I?
GUY SMILEY: You're on Beat the Time and must get off the stage immediately! GET OFF! GET OFF!
(Chicago the Lion screams and runs out of the stage)
GUY SMILEY: Well Fozzie's got plenty of time left! He's got 39 seconds left on the clock to find three more things that you see at the circus!
(Fozzie re-enters the studio again, bringing a horse knocking down the curtains)
FOZZIE BEAR: I found a horse, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! That's four things that you see at the circus! Now you have to find two more!
FOZZIE BEAR: You bet, Guy! (runs out of the studio again)
(Prince Charming, from the Sesame Street News Flash: Rapunzel sketch enters the studio.)
PRINCE CHARMING: Hey, some bear just stole my horse! I need him to travel to rescue my princess! Have you seen him?
GUY SMILEY: I haven't seen yours but YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THE STAGE RIGHT NOW!
PRINCE CHARMING: (notices that his horse is here) OHHHHHH! There you are, my horsey! We're coming to rescue you, my dear princess! (rides on his horse as they get out of the studio.)
GUY SMILEY: Now Fozzie Bear has 28 seconds left to find two more things that you see at the circus!
(Fozzie re-enters the studio again, bringing Gonzo's cannon)
FOZZIE BEAR: I found a cannon, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Good job, Fozzie! That's five things you see at the circus!
FOZZIE BEAR: Now I go find one more thing, Guy! (runs out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: One more thing that you see at the circus.
(Gonzo, in his stuntman suit, enters the studio.)
GONZO: Hey Guy, Fozzie just stole my cannon, the one I need for my latest act!
GUY SMILEY: I haven't seen this cannon of yours, Gonzo. SO GET OFF THE STAGE!
GONZO: AAAAAAH! There's my cannon! I'm about to make my act better with it! (runs out of the studio while pushing his cannon)
(Fozzie re-enters the studio again, feeling very nervous)
FOZZIE BEAR: Guy! I'm so nervous! I can't find one more thing!
GUY SMILEY: Well, hurry up, Fozzie! You've got 14 seconds left to find it!
FOZZIE BEAR: 14 SECONDS? AAAAAAH! (runs out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: Well, ladies and gentlemen, Fozzie has 14 seconds left on the clock to find one more thing that you see at the circus! Can he do it on time! Count down with me! (counting down with his audience.) 14...13...12...11...10...9...8...
(as Guy reaches 8, rumbling sounds are heard)
GUY SMILEY: Wait a minute! What are those sounds coming from? Oh, no! It's gotta be--! It can't be---!
(Fozzie re-enters the studio bringing an elephant destroying the set and the wall clock!)
GUY SMILEY: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh, no!
FOZZIE BEAR: I found an elephant, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: WONDERFUL! That's six things that you see at the circus and that means you win the game!
(audience cheers loudly)
FOZZIE BEAR: I WIN? OH, BOY!
GUY SMILEY: Yes you did and are you ready for your grand prize?
FOZZIE BEAR: OH, YES!
GUY SMILEY: Do you love telling jokes?
FOZZIE BEAR: Oh yes I do!
GUY SMILEY: You really do?
FOZZIE BEAR: OH, YES! REALLY!
GUY SMILEY: Well get ready to be lucky because you win a grand trip to the Stage 6 Comedy Club so you can tell your jokes there!
FOZZIE BEAR: REALLY?
GUY SMILEY: YES! REALLY, FOZZIE!
(Statler and Waldorf hop onto the stage from the audience)
STATLER: We're coming to the club, too!
FOZZIE BEAR: Oh, no! Not you two!
WALDORF: Yeah we're coming to see you perform!
STATLER: And we love to hate your jokes there!
BOTH STATLER AND WALDORF: D'OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!
FOZZIE BEAR: Statler! Waldorf! You two can't come there and see me!
STATLER: Oh yes we can!
WALDORF: You are one bear we love to hate!
BOTH STATLER AND WALDORF: D'OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!
(Game-show music plays again as both Statler and Waldorf go back to their seats in the studio audience. The Fat Blue AM zookeeper enters the studio.)
FAT BLUE ZOOKEEPER: Hey, hey, hey! You took my big elephant from the zoo!
GUY SMILEY: (as Fozzie explains to the zookeeper) Well join us next time for another fun-filled game of "Beat the Time!" So this is Guy Smiley saying "Have a nice time!"
(the Beat the Time logo that has a clock for it flashes on the screen.)
FOZZIE BEAR: (to AM zookeeper) Well, you see, I just borrowed it from you as part of the game and now that I found all six things that are seen at the circus, I get to win a trip to the Stage 6 Comedy Club!
FAT BLUE ZOOKEEPER: Really? Oh, wow! Can I come over to that club if I have a chance to see you perform there?
GUY SMILEY: Will somebody get this elephant out of here and have a chance to fix that wall clock?
End of sketch
(The scene is the game-show set.)
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time once again for another exciting episode of everybody's favorite wacky stunt show, the show that ran over 46 years, "BEAT...THE TIME!"
(Beat the Time logo that has a clock for it flashes on the screen for four seconds. Then it fades away as drum rolls)
ANNOUNCER: And here is your host of this long-running show, Mr. Guy Smiley!
(Game-show music plays. Audience cheers as Guy Smiley enters the set through the golden curtains with a little loud grunt.)
GUY SMILEY: Yes! Thank you, ladies and gentlemen! This is Guy Smiley, America's favorite game-show host, welcoming you to episode 18,976 of Beat the Time, everybody's favorite long-running wacky stunt show! And according to the CTW TV Guide, it's been rated number five as one of the top ten TV game-shows on the broadcast!
(audience cheers louder as the game-show music fades away.)
GUY SMILEY: And now, to get things started, here is today's contestant, all the way from "The Muppet Show", Mr. Fozzie Bear!
(audience cheers as Fozzie enters the studio.)
FOZZIE BEAR: Aaaaah! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It's a pleasure to be here on this show! (To Guy) Hey, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Hello Fozzie! How are you?
FOZZIE BEAR: Just feeling a bit nervous.
GUY SMILEY: And are you ready for today's wacky stunt?
FOZZIE BEAR: Oh yes I am, Guy! But what does it involve? Telling jokes to your studio audience? Perform different acts like ventriquilism?
GUY SMILEY: No Fozzie, it's not those.
FOZZIE BEAR: Well what do I have to do? I'm one great comedian!
GUY SMILEY: Yes I know you're a comedian, but for today's wacky stunt, you have to find six things that you see at the circus!
FOZZIE BEAR: I have to WHAT?
GUY SMILEY: You have to find six things that you see at the circus and you got 60 seconds on the clock to find them before it reaches the buzzer, you got that?
FOZZIE BEAR: Well, yeah, I'll give it a best shot.
(Drum roll)
GUY SMILEY: OK! Don't start until I say go, OK?
FOZZIE BEAR: Well, OK, Guy.
GUY SMILEY: OK! Ready? 3...2...1...GO!
(Time-clocking music from Beat the Time with Cookie Monster plays.)
FOZZIE BEAR: Can I start now?
GUY SMILEY: YES YOU CAN! JUST GO ALREADY! GO, GO, GO!
FOZZIE BEAR: AAAAAAAH! (runs out of the studio through the curtains.)
GUY SMILEY: Can he do it? Fozzie Bear has to find six things, yes, six things that you see at the circus!
(Fozzie re-enters the studio, bringing a Fat Blue clown Anything Muppet.)
FOZZIE BEAR: I found a clown, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! Clowns are seen at the circus! (as Fozzie runs out of the studio again) Now you have to find five more!
FAT BLUE CLOWN: Hey, that orange bear just interuppted my tricks!
GUY SMILEY: Well, listen, we're doing a television show here and you can't perform tricks here. Please exit immediately!
FAT BLUE CLOWN: Yeah, my pleasure! HMPH! (exits angrily)
GUY SMILEY: Now, Fozzie Bear has 52 seconds to find five more things that you see at the circus! Can he do it?
(Fozzie re-enters the studio again, bringing the Flying Zucchini Brothers from the Muppet Show!)
FOZZIE BEAR: I found the Flying Zucchini Brothers, Guy! They're acrobats!
GUY SMILEY: Yes, terrific! The Flying Zucchini Brothers are acrobats and acrobats are seen at the circus! Now you got to find four more! (Fozzie runs out of the studio again)
FLYING ZUCCHINI BROTHERS: Where are we?
GUY SMILEY: You're on Beat the Time, Zucchini Brothers! Now move off because we're playing a game here!
(The Zucchini Brothers scream and run out of the studio.)
GUY SMILEY: Now, Fozzie's got 46 seconds to find four more things that you see at the circus!
(Fozzie re-enters the studio again, bringing Chicago the Lion)
FOZZIE BEAR: I found a lion, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Great job, Fozzie! That's three things you see at the circus!
FOZZIE BEAR: Now I have to find three more! (runs out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: Yep! Three down and three more to go!
CHICAGO THE LION: Hey, where am I?
GUY SMILEY: You're on Beat the Time and must get off the stage immediately! GET OFF! GET OFF!
(Chicago the Lion screams and runs out of the stage)
GUY SMILEY: Well Fozzie's got plenty of time left! He's got 39 seconds left on the clock to find three more things that you see at the circus!
(Fozzie re-enters the studio again, bringing a horse knocking down the curtains)
FOZZIE BEAR: I found a horse, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful! That's four things that you see at the circus! Now you have to find two more!
FOZZIE BEAR: You bet, Guy! (runs out of the studio again)
(Prince Charming, from the Sesame Street News Flash: Rapunzel sketch enters the studio.)
PRINCE CHARMING: Hey, some bear just stole my horse! I need him to travel to rescue my princess! Have you seen him?
GUY SMILEY: I haven't seen yours but YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THE STAGE RIGHT NOW!
PRINCE CHARMING: (notices that his horse is here) OHHHHHH! There you are, my horsey! We're coming to rescue you, my dear princess! (rides on his horse as they get out of the studio.)
GUY SMILEY: Now Fozzie Bear has 28 seconds left to find two more things that you see at the circus!
(Fozzie re-enters the studio again, bringing Gonzo's cannon)
FOZZIE BEAR: I found a cannon, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: Good job, Fozzie! That's five things you see at the circus!
FOZZIE BEAR: Now I go find one more thing, Guy! (runs out of the studio again)
GUY SMILEY: One more thing that you see at the circus.
(Gonzo, in his stuntman suit, enters the studio.)
GONZO: Hey Guy, Fozzie just stole my cannon, the one I need for my latest act!
GUY SMILEY: I haven't seen this cannon of yours, Gonzo. SO GET OFF THE STAGE!
GONZO: AAAAAAH! There's my cannon! I'm about to make my act better with it! (runs out of the studio while pushing his cannon)
(Fozzie re-enters the studio again, feeling very nervous)
FOZZIE BEAR: Guy! I'm so nervous! I can't find one more thing!
GUY SMILEY: Well, hurry up, Fozzie! You've got 14 seconds left to find it!
FOZZIE BEAR: 14 SECONDS? AAAAAAH! (runs out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: Well, ladies and gentlemen, Fozzie has 14 seconds left on the clock to find one more thing that you see at the circus! Can he do it on time! Count down with me! (counting down with his audience.) 14...13...12...11...10...9...8...
(as Guy reaches 8, rumbling sounds are heard)
GUY SMILEY: Wait a minute! What are those sounds coming from? Oh, no! It's gotta be--! It can't be---!
(Fozzie re-enters the studio bringing an elephant destroying the set and the wall clock!)
GUY SMILEY: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh, no!
FOZZIE BEAR: I found an elephant, Guy!
GUY SMILEY: WONDERFUL! That's six things that you see at the circus and that means you win the game!
(audience cheers loudly)
FOZZIE BEAR: I WIN? OH, BOY!
GUY SMILEY: Yes you did and are you ready for your grand prize?
FOZZIE BEAR: OH, YES!
GUY SMILEY: Do you love telling jokes?
FOZZIE BEAR: Oh yes I do!
GUY SMILEY: You really do?
FOZZIE BEAR: OH, YES! REALLY!
GUY SMILEY: Well get ready to be lucky because you win a grand trip to the Stage 6 Comedy Club so you can tell your jokes there!
FOZZIE BEAR: REALLY?
GUY SMILEY: YES! REALLY, FOZZIE!
(Statler and Waldorf hop onto the stage from the audience)
STATLER: We're coming to the club, too!
FOZZIE BEAR: Oh, no! Not you two!
WALDORF: Yeah we're coming to see you perform!
STATLER: And we love to hate your jokes there!
BOTH STATLER AND WALDORF: D'OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!
FOZZIE BEAR: Statler! Waldorf! You two can't come there and see me!
STATLER: Oh yes we can!
WALDORF: You are one bear we love to hate!
BOTH STATLER AND WALDORF: D'OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!
(Game-show music plays again as both Statler and Waldorf go back to their seats in the studio audience. The Fat Blue AM zookeeper enters the studio.)
FAT BLUE ZOOKEEPER: Hey, hey, hey! You took my big elephant from the zoo!
GUY SMILEY: (as Fozzie explains to the zookeeper) Well join us next time for another fun-filled game of "Beat the Time!" So this is Guy Smiley saying "Have a nice time!"
(the Beat the Time logo that has a clock for it flashes on the screen.)
FOZZIE BEAR: (to AM zookeeper) Well, you see, I just borrowed it from you as part of the game and now that I found all six things that are seen at the circus, I get to win a trip to the Stage 6 Comedy Club!
FAT BLUE ZOOKEEPER: Really? Oh, wow! Can I come over to that club if I have a chance to see you perform there?
GUY SMILEY: Will somebody get this elephant out of here and have a chance to fix that wall clock?
End of sketch
