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Bear Man
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2004
- Messages
- 284
- Reaction score
- 98
Dear Mr Bear,
I trust that you are well and that your hibernation this winter was a complete success. Unfortunately I must be the bearer (no pun intended) of bad news. It seems that your agent has also been in hibernation when it comes to protecting your reputation re: your representation in Muppet merchandise.
While the Frog, the Lab Assistant, the Animal and the Whatever are - by and large - accurately and successfully portaryed in their numerous plastic, polystone and stuffed incarnations, it pains me to say that you are not. The newest 'stuffed' Fozzie; with its stiched eyes, poor fur replication and -frankly - wrong proportions is recognisable as you only by your distinctive tie.
The polystone and PVC replicas, whilst being much more accurate in colouring, general proportions and 'texture' still fail to completely accurately represent your comic brilliance - both figures not quite getting your eyes and eyebrows right, and the bust adding the further indignity of a far-too-wide mouth. Besides, you are fur after all - who wants to see you 'sculpted' in plastic.
I understand that unscrupulous persons may use completely accurate portayals of you - especially if they are in the plush form - to mislead, and perhaps make you look like you're doing things you never officially would. But surely your die-hard fans deserve an accurate representation - and surely also this would not be too difficult to produce; simply unstitching one of your stunt doubles to create accurate patterns would be the answer to creating a 'proper' Fozzie plush.
I suggest therefore, that you seek new representation. And that you insist that you be portrayed in the near future in all your Muppetty brilliance in such a form that can be purchased by your fans. Or perhaps one of those fans could contact me with any suggestions as to where I could buy, make or commission a 'proper' bear.
I trust that you are well and that your hibernation this winter was a complete success. Unfortunately I must be the bearer (no pun intended) of bad news. It seems that your agent has also been in hibernation when it comes to protecting your reputation re: your representation in Muppet merchandise.
While the Frog, the Lab Assistant, the Animal and the Whatever are - by and large - accurately and successfully portaryed in their numerous plastic, polystone and stuffed incarnations, it pains me to say that you are not. The newest 'stuffed' Fozzie; with its stiched eyes, poor fur replication and -frankly - wrong proportions is recognisable as you only by your distinctive tie.
The polystone and PVC replicas, whilst being much more accurate in colouring, general proportions and 'texture' still fail to completely accurately represent your comic brilliance - both figures not quite getting your eyes and eyebrows right, and the bust adding the further indignity of a far-too-wide mouth. Besides, you are fur after all - who wants to see you 'sculpted' in plastic.
I understand that unscrupulous persons may use completely accurate portayals of you - especially if they are in the plush form - to mislead, and perhaps make you look like you're doing things you never officially would. But surely your die-hard fans deserve an accurate representation - and surely also this would not be too difficult to produce; simply unstitching one of your stunt doubles to create accurate patterns would be the answer to creating a 'proper' Fozzie plush.
I suggest therefore, that you seek new representation. And that you insist that you be portrayed in the near future in all your Muppetty brilliance in such a form that can be purchased by your fans. Or perhaps one of those fans could contact me with any suggestions as to where I could buy, make or commission a 'proper' bear.