A World of Disney Christmas

[muppetwriter]

This week, I finished up a special Christmas mini-story for my World of Disney series that I want to post here on Muppet Central. For those who haven't read the first "World of Disney," which features the Muppets as main characters, you can here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5902031/1/World-of-Disney

But before you do, check out "A World of Disney Christmas" to help get you into the holiday spirit!
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Christmas. It is a time when many come together. Old and young. Parent and child. Husband and wife. It is the time when one can be a peace – not letting the matters of the universe to weigh on their shoulders. My newest apprentice, Joanie Navarro, has yet to realize how much of a burden the duties of Guardian of the Disneyverse have on her once-normal life. For Joanie, her first Christmas as Guardian will be become a test – a test to see how she will handle being savior and human.

Yen Sid​

December 6, 1977​

​

The Muppet Theater buzzed with activity as its residents got an early start on Christmas. Many were putting up decorations throughout, including Christmas trees in both the backstage area and on stage – the latter being for a Christmas pageant that they planned on throwing on Christmas Eve. By afternoon, the entire interior of the theater looked festive, which proved to Kermit the Frog that their duties for the day were met with great success. Even Diana Navarro’s masterpiece that she painted for the backdrop of the stage was enough to put Kermit in the spirit of the holidays.

“Excellent work, Diana!” The frog said as he approached her.

From atop an eight-foot ladder and wearing a white cap and overalls that were stained with various colors of paint, Diana looked down towards Kermit and smiled. “Thanks, Kermit.” She glanced at her masterpiece – a snowy field with a log cabin settled on the far left beneath a majestic polar sky. “Hope it’s not too much.”

Kermit shook his head. “It’s perfect.”

“Not too unrealistic?”

Kermit softly moaned. “It’s perfect.”

“Because I can easily…”

“Diana! It’s perfect!”

Suddenly, all activity stopped and the theater got seriously quiet, all because of Kermit’s frantic outburst. All eyes focused on him, including Diana’s, who nearly fell from the ladder once the pitch in Kermit’s voice increased. “Okay, okay,” she jokingly remarked, “I’ll keep it the way it is, Mister Sensitive.”

Kermit immediately turned to everyone that stared at him and said, “S-Sorry, everyone. Uh, j-just a hectic critique, that’s all.”

Taking his word for it, the others returned to their activities and the theater lit up with festivity rather quickly, much to Kermit’s amusement. Sheesh! These guys only let trouble distract them for two seconds, he thought.

“Hey, hey, Kermit!” The voice of Fozzie Bear came Kermit’s way, along with Fozzie himself, holding a ten-page manuscript. “Hey, Kermit. I spent the whole night typing up some Christmas jokes for the pageant.”

Gazing at the manuscript in the bear’s furry paws, Kermit muttered to himself, “Oh, boy.”

Unfortunately, the frog’s muttering didn’t go unnoticed. “What did you say?”

“I said, ‘Oh, joy!’” Kermit added false enthusiasm to his retake. “I can’t wait to hear some of your material!”

“Really?” A genuinely surprised Fozzie remarked.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kermit said, his lack of enthusiasm seeping in again. “But I’ll tell you what, Fozzie. You go through that list and find the best joke you think will work for the pageant, and I’ll work with ya on getting it into the show. How’s that?”

“Oh, boy! That’s really swell, Kermit! Thanks!”

As Fozzie departed, Diana walked up to Kermit, having witnessed how the frog dodged Fozzie’s attempt at occupying his time. “Quite a clever way of getting out of listening to an hour’s worth of Fozzie’s jokes.”

Kermit sighed. “I know Fozzie means well, but I really don’t have the time to listen to the one about the reindeer and the chicken.”

Diana grew heavily confused. “What about the reindeer and the…?”

“Don’t ask.” Kermit quickly interjected.

Heeding Kermit’s advice, Diana remained mute on the matter, just as Kermit’s nephew rushed up to the two adults. “Uncle Kermit, Miss Diana. Have either of you seen Joanie around?”

“Not since this morning.” Kermit responded. “She and Gonzo have been decorating the outside of the theater all day.”

“What’s up, Robin?” Diana asked with concern.

“Well, it’s almost dark out, and there was some important Christmas shopping I needed to do.” Robin said. “I want to get it done early, so I can spend the days before Christmas with Joanie. She’s promised to take me with her to see Yen Sid and Mickey Mouse himself! Isn’t that great?”

Diana smiled from the way the little frog beamed with delight. “Aww! Bless your sweet little heart! I can go out with you, sweetie.”

Her offer didn’t quite seem satisfying to Robin. “Oh…well…that’s awfully kind of you, Miss Diana. But, uh, I wanted Joanie to take me because…well…you know…she’s…”

“Robin!” Kermit exclaimed, sounding appalled.

“Well, she can teleport people to different places, can’t she?” Robin remarked.

“Yeah, but you know she’s not allowed to use her powers in public like that.” Kermit rebutted.

His uncle’s words made Robin feel ashamed. “Well, gosh, Uncle Kermit. I only thought…”

“It’s okay, Robin.” Diana quickly said, doing her very best to swallow her pride. “I can understand how powerful my daughter’s become as of late, so…so you have my permission to go with her.” Kermit could detect the obvious jealousy in her voice.

Fortunately, Robin didn’t and was once again beaming with delight. “Oh, wow! Thanks, Miss Diana!” The little frog then rushed away, leaving Kermit and Diana standing alone together on the stage once again.

“You can’t tell me how wrong it is for him to use her ‘abilities’ for something so small like that.” Kermit said.

Diana sighed. “I knew what type of life my daughter would have after she gained those powers, Kermit. It’s enough that she goes around with different color hair like these street punks walking around these days. I have to try my best to keep her not just from looking like a freak to others but from feeling like one, too.”

“What color is her hair now?” Someone asked nearby, and they turned to see that it was Beauregard, who swept his way into their conversation.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“With all these lights, we’re bound to blow out a fuse, you know.” Gonzo observed from the space on the roof of the theater that he shared with the purple-haired Joanie Navarro. While the weirdo was bundled up beneath a sweater, a jacket, gray flannel pants, and shoes in the cold weather, Joanie only wore Yen Sid’s sorcerer hat with a tie-dye tank top, jeans-shorts, and sandals. She was dressed for summer weather even though it was below thirty degrees in reality; her magic being the only thing that kept her as warm as Gonzo was (or at least tried to be).

Joanie held the plug to the last string of Christmas lights that she decked out on the theater after eight painstaking hours of covering the entire structure. Had she been allowed to do all of it with her abilities, the work wouldn’t have ended so close to sunset; of course, with dusk approaching, it allowed her and Gonzo to see how their work looked as soon as it was lit. “Relax, Gonz,” she told her weirdo companion. “We won’t be using the traditional method this year.”

Her words made Gonzo confused, which wasn’t an easy thing to do – then again, Joanie was the only resident of the theater who surpassed even Gonzo’s weirdness. “What do you mean?”

Joanie grinned as she brought the plug to her nose. “Check this out.” She then used her nostrils as an outlet for the plug and, after taking a deep breath, blew into the plug. Within a millisecond, all of the Christmas lights on the theater instantly lit up, even the ones that Gonzo suspected to have been busted. The weirdo was beyond amazed from the display as all of the lights shined brighter than a star, illuminating the entire city block.

“WHOA!” Gonzo exclaimed.

Removing the plug from her nose and letting it fall limp on the roof, Joanie chuckled over Gonzo’s amazement. “Pretty groovy, eh?”

“But what’s keeping it all lit?”

“I am, silly. Or this is, at least.” She pointed to the hat on her head, which glowed just as bright as the lights on the theater.

Looking at the hat, Gonzo curiously asked, “Are you the only one who can wear that thing?”

“As far as I know…yeah.”

“Well, what if I were to wear it?”

“I don’t know. But, for safety reasons, let’s not try to find out, alright?”

Gonzo snickered. “Since when have you known me to be safe?”

Joanie grinned and shook her head, a gesture that proved to be her undoing as the wind took advantage of it and blew her hat right off her head. “Oh, no,” she shouted while the hat blew out of her reach and rapidly down the street. With the hat far away from the theater, the lights decked on it suddenly went out, leaving Joanie and Gonzo standing on a bleak old building again.

“Maybe I can try your trick if I stuck my finger in an electrical socket?” Gonzo suggested to an otherwise aggravated Joanie, who began to feel the chill of the weather in her summer attire.

And now we have our introduction to four tales – each proving to be a test for my young apprentice in responsibility, love, humility, and confidence. These are what make a Guardian. For her sake and the sakes of the lives within the Disneyverse, I hope she will pass her tests. If she does not, then I fear her Christmas will not be as merry as she had hoped.

Yen Sid​

 

[muppetwriter]

December 9, 1977 – The First Tale​

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It was supposed to have been Mad Man Mooney’s Hubcap Heaven’s big holiday sale – every car on the lot given away for the “reasonable” price of five thousand dollars. However, considering the insane price and the horrid condition of the cars, it should not have come to a surprise to Mad Man Mooney why no one showed up for the sale. Because of the car dealer’s displeasure in his failure, he took his frustrations on his “Jack,” who actually went by the name of Sweetums. He assigned the large, hairy ogre to go out in the fierce cold and polish off the cars – a task Mooney knew was impossible with his rusty vehicles but assigned it just to see Sweetums suffer in the cold.

Fortunately, because of his excessive amount of fur, Sweetums barely felt the chilly breeze that blew past him while he “polished” the heavily used cars on the lot. The ogre still bore a ripped-up scarf regardless of the protection of his fur because it seemed like the “festive” thing for him to do. As he carried out his boss’s orders, he wished there was some way to bring customers to the lot. To Sweetums, the cars didn’t look all that bad, and Mooney’s prices weren’t too shabby either, even though the ogre had major problems with math.

Just as Sweetums reached the third car to polish up on the lot, he caught a glimpse of something shiny that sat on the ground near the vehicle. Momentarily abandoning his duties, he picked the object up and examined it. “It’s a hat,” the ogre happily exclaimed, noticing how sparkly and brand new it looked. Its “stars and moon” design thrilled Sweetums to the core, making him want to put it on. The ogre did so and immediately felt a tingling sensation course through and make him burst out with laughter. “Oh, wow! That tickles!”

In his moment of fun, Sweetums placed a hand on the car that he meant to start polishing up before his discovery. It was then that the unimaginable happened. That single touch engulfed the old, rusty vehicle in a golden hue that irradiated Mad Man Mooney’s entire dreary lot for just a few seconds. Some passersby took notice in the magical scene and stopped long enough to see the old, rusty car that Sweetums stood near transform into a new, shiny sports car. Even the price tag on the vehicle changed to a more realistic price value of five hundred dollars.

“Whoa!” Sweetums shouted upon witnessing the phenomenon.

“I’ll take it!”

The ogre turned to where the excitable voice spoke from, seeing a man hold up five hundred-dollar bills in his hand. He was quickly overshadowed by a woman who rushed into the lot, doing the same. Soon enough, Sweetums was then bombarded by dozens of people who were all bidding for that one sports car. The overwhelmed ogre reflected from the mob, accidentally bumping into two other cars. Before he knew it, his touch once again transformed the decrepit vehicles into sporty new ones, further provoking the customers into frantic, on-the-spot bids.

All of the commotion that took place in the lot soon went noticed by Mad Man Mooney, who rushed out of his office to find the crowd of hectic customers filling in. As grateful as he was with the sudden interest, he was puzzled over its source. Only when he spotted the new sports cars that had somehow made it onto his lot did his confusion increased. Quickly, he interjected, “Hold it, everybody! Hold it! Hold it!” The crowd was silenced on Mooney’s command, allowing Mooney to address Sweetums. “Jack, what’s goin’ on here? I ask you to do one simple thing – simple even for a big klutz like you – and you create havoc!”

“It was the weirdest thing, boss.” Sweetums said. “I found this hat on the ground, put it on, and now whatever I touch becomes brand, spankin’ new. See?” He demonstrated his newfound ability by touching another used car and instantly turning it into a new model that Mooney yet to see on the market.

The cigar in Mooney’s mouth fell droopily to the ground after witnessing the display. “W-Wow. Wow-wee. Wow-wee-woo. You’ve done it. You beautiful big klutz. You’ve really done it!”

“That’s great, boss.” Sweetums energetically remarked, until he seemed more bamboozled than usual. “Uh…what did I do?”

“You’ve found our ticket to fortune and glory, that’s what you’ve done!” Mooney gestured to the crazy-looking hat on the ogre’s furry head. “That hat! That hat is our ticket, you see? Things are finally looking up, Jackie, my boy!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the following week, Mad Man Mooney’s “holiday sale” had transformed into a “magical holiday sale” with Sweetums’ new “gift.” His entire lot was filled with shiny new cars sold at reasonable prices, granting Mooney the money that he had long to have in his possession since he first got involved in car dealership. Even after all of the spiffy new cars had been sold, Mooney just had Sweetums magically conjure up a new lot of sporty cars with his abilities and start a whole new sale. All of the work Sweetums put into transforming Mooney’s cars and making new ones had taken its toll on the ogre. By the end of the week, he was beyond exhausted while Mooney was beyond wealthy.

One afternoon, Mooney caught Sweetums leaning against one of the new sporty cars and snoozing at the worst time – two customers were coming up to the lot. He elbowed the ogre in his side and gruffly said, “Wake up, ya dope. We got customers.”

Snoring himself awake, Sweetums caught sight of the customers, who turned out to be Joanie and Robin. “Oh, hey, you guys!” He excitedly greeted his two friends from the Muppet Theater.

“Hey, Sweetums,” said Robin, as he and Joanie strolled into the lot. “Long time, no see.”

“Yeah, uh, I’ve been working overtime lately.” Sweetums remarked.

“And don’t expect to get much pay from it either.” Mooney sneered.

Approaching Sweetums with Robin, Joanie let out a loud sneeze, which prompted Sweetums to say, “Gesundheit!” He noticed how pale she looked with parts of her messy purple hair reverting back to its normal brown color. “Wow. You look terrible.”

“I feel terrible, man.” Joanie nasally said, coughing and barely able to keep her eyes open.

Mooney was cautious of the close proximity the ailing Joanie stood within his new sporty cars. “Hey, kid. Keep your distance. I don’t wanna have germs all over my new cars here.”

Robin smiled upon the collection of shiny sports vehicles. “Wow. I didn’t know there were so many beautiful cars here. My Uncle Kermit always talked about how this place sold the cheapest cars.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, tell your uncle to get his eyes checked.” Mooney retorted. “This place sells only the best! Unlike most car lots, we have the magic touch! Isn’t that right, Jack?”

“Uh, yeah, boss.” Sweetums acknowledged.

Joanie finally managed to get her eyelids up just in time to see the hat that Sweetums bore on his large head. Immediately recognizing the hat, she questioned the ogre: “Sweets, where did you get that hat?”

“Oh, I found it on the…”

“What business is it of yours, kid?” Mooney hastily interrupted upon realizing Joanie’s interest in his “ticket.”

“It’s my business because it’s my hat!” Joanie snapped.

“What?” Sweetums and Mooney both shouted with shock.

Robin, being ever so short, had not spotted the sorcerer hat on Sweetums’ head until the ogre turned sideways. “Hey, yeah! That’s Joanie’s! She’s been lookin’ all over for it for days now! We were thinkin’ it was gone for good!”

“N-Now wait a minute.” Mooney demanded. “Now, there can be any number of hats like this one in this city.”

“Oh, really?” Joanie sarcastically said with a cough. “One that just happens to sparkle and glow like it’s doing on Sweets right now?”

Mooney glanced up at the hat and realized how it was mysteriously glowing. Hiding his perplexity, he shrugged off the sight and sheepishly said, “M-Maybe.”

“Hey, boss.” Sweetums said. “Why don’t I just give ‘em the hat? It is Christmas after all.”

Mooney remained relentless. “Now you see? You see there? You’re thinking again, Jack? And what did I tell ya about thinking?”

Sweetums thought back on his boss’s “advice.” “Uh…that it’ll destroy my non-existent brain?”

Mooney grinned proudly. “That’s right. And that’s why only I do all the thinkin’ ‘round here.”

Joanie turned to the large, hairy ogre and tenderly pleaded: “Sweets. Please. I was careless. I’ve been told never to use my magic out in the open like I had when I last wore that hat and, because of that, I lost both it…” She coughed again. “…and my health. That hat is real important to me. May I please have it back?” She gently held out her hand to him and looked upon him with hopeful eyes and a warm smile.

Sweetums couldn’t ignore her plea or the look on her face. Together, they were enough to get the caring ogre to remove the hat from his head. Once it was off, Sweetums literally felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders (or his head, in this case). For some reason, after a week of using it for all of Mooney’s sales, Sweetums felt like he wore an iron plate on his head. It was something he could not figure out and did not attempt to since he was returning the hat to its rightful owner.

Unfortunately, as Sweetums handed the hat over to Joanie, Mooney swiftly intercepted in the transaction and took the hat for himself. “No way am I losing my fortune because of some stupid, oversized monster with a heart and a conscience. I don’t need ya, Jack. Never have and never will. If you’re not gonna help me gain wealth, then I’ll do it myself.”

Mooney then removed his cowboy hat and placed the sorcerer one atop it instead. The hat glowed on Mooney’s head, and he even felt a tingling sensation that made him giggle, but only for a brief second. After that second passed, he then felt painful sensation that made him bite down hard on the cigar in his mouth. The hat sparked with electricity and shot through Mooney’s body, causing steam to rise from his collar and his cigar to explode as if it were a trick one. The hat then popped off from Mooney’s head like the cork from a champagne bottle, exposing the shady car dealer’s fried toupee, which fell off his blackened scalp immediately.

Overpowered by the majestic hat, which fell back into the hands of Joanie, Mooney collapsed to the ground. All of the new sporty cars in the lot soon vanished out of thin air. Sweetums witnessed the entire event with amazement and bewilderment. “Wow! What happened? I thought for sure the boss would’ve gained superpowers like I did with that hat.”

Joanie smiled. “Turns out that only the pure of heart can wear the hat. Mooney was just rotten to the core.”

“So, all of those neat cars Sweetums made with your magic were from his heart?” Robin questioned.

“As shocking as it is, Sweetums cared enough about Mooney to see that he got what he wanted. But Mooney found out the hard way how there’s no magic in greed, which is why he’s a fried mess right now.”

“How ‘bout that, Sweetums! You’re pure of heart!” Robin joyously said.

Sweetums proudly chuckled. However, his good mood was suddenly disrupted as soon as he and his friends heard police sirens approaching from the distance. Joanie grinned and told the two Muppets, “And it sounds like Mooney’s ‘magic touch’ just backfired on him.”

The three friends rushed away from the lot, leaving an unconscious Mad Man Mooney lying on the cold concrete. The lot was empty for only a few minutes before it was swarming with police cars, responding to complaints of “disappearing sports cars” purchased from Mad Man Mooney’s.

 

[muppetwriter]

December 16, 1977 (The Second Tale)​

​

With Christmas only nine days away, everyone at the Muppet Theater had entered the gift-wrapping stage in their preparation for the big holiday, as well as for the upcoming pageant. Diana and Kermit wrapped up gifts at Kermit’s desk, which was so littered with wrappers that they wrapped wrappers by accident. Diana had to double-check herself so often during wrapping that she was frustrating herself. Normally, Joanie would help her in wrapping gifts; unfortunately, as of late, she had been too focused on finding her missing sorcerer hat to help out with anything. For the past week, Diana saw less and less of her daughter because of her new double-life. I think I’m beginning to understand how Superman’s parents feel, Diana thought in her despair.

Joanie had been gone the entire day, looking for the hat given to her by Yen Sid all over Orlando with Robin. From Diana’s point of view, it was foolish of Joanie to go out with the horrible head cold she had gotten from her equally foolish way of decorating the theater by wearing summer clothes in the freezing temperatures. By the end of the afternoon, Diana was ready to abandon her gift-wrapping and go out to search for her. However, just as she considered doing so, she heard the stage door fly open, letting in the chilly breeze for a short moment that blew over the wrappers on Kermit’s desk, scattering them further.

“I FOUND IT!”

The nasally voice of her daughter accompanied the cold breeze, which was quickly cut off by Sweetums, who shut the door. As soon as she saw Joanie with her hat, Diana furiously approached her. “Where have you been, young lady? You’ve been gone for twelve hours! You were beginning to have me worried…” She was interrupted by Joanie’s excessive coughing and hacking, which seemed to be timed at just the right moment as Diana finished her statement. “…sick.” Diana placed a hand over her daughter’s forehead; at first, it felt extremely cold, but then it became extremely hot. “Dear Lord! You’re burning up!”

Joanie waved off her mother’s concern. “Don’t worry, Mom. It’s no sweat. As soon as I put on this hat, I’ll be right as rain.” Her idiom didn’t help her case as she let out another nasty, phlegm-filled cough in front of her mother. Hearing Joanie’s disgusting cough, every Muppet standing around in the backstage area immediately cleared out, except for Sweetums, Kermit, and Robin.

Just as Joanie was about to place the sorcerer hat on her head, Diana snatched it out of her hands. “No, no! We are not going to use magic to cure you of your cold. We’re going to do things the old fashioned way.”

Diana’s suggestion surprised Joanie so much that she nearly choked on another cough. “WHAT? Mom, it’ll take weeks for me to fight this cold!”

“She’ll miss the pageant!” Robin exclaimed, helping defend Joanie’s case. “And she’ll miss Christmas dinner and opening gifts with us on Christmas morning, because she’ll be in bed all day!”

“Well, she should’ve thought of that before she decided to put up Christmas lights in the thirty-degree temperature, wearing close to nothing!” Diana scolded, her eyes fixed directly on Joanie.

Joanie scoffed. “I was wearing shorts and a top, Mother!”

“Yeah, because you thought your ‘super powers’ would keep you warm.” Diana sarcastically said. “Losing this hat just proves how reckless you’ve become with your abilities, Joanie.”

“I realize that now. And I swear that I’ll be more careful. I’ll prove it to you if you just give me back the hat.”

Diana shook her head. “I’m sorry, honey. But until you’ve gotten over your cold, you won’t be getting it back. It’s the only way you’ll learn your lesson.”

Joanie’s fists clenched and twitched, mirroring the intense fury that was shown on her face as she glared at her mother. “You are so unfair about this! You treat me like such a child sometimes! I can’t wait ‘til Tomas comes on New Year’s because then I’ll be away from you and this cruddy theater forever!” Her angry voice echoed throughout the theater itself and was heard by all.

Watching her daughter storm out of the room, Diana was shaken by the way she addressed her. Never before had she seen Joanie so upset, even when she took away her toys as punishment– much like she took the hat away. To Diana, the hat was just another “toy” of Joanie’s that she had gotten too excited with like all the ones she played with when she was a child. Of course, the hat wasn’t a toy; it was something capable of turning reality upside down if Joanie did not handle it correctly.

“Did she really mean that?” All eyes focused on Robin as he spoke after a long moment of silence. “Does she really hate it here in the theater?”

Diana saw how hurt Robin was and immediately consoled him. “Oh, no…no, sweetie, she doesn’t. She’s just…” She tried to find a word that was understandable at the same time it was true. “She’s just being selfish right now. Joanie doesn’t realize what kind of power she has with this hat now. If she doesn’t use it with responsibility, she’ll do more harm than good.”

“You are correct, madam.”

A deep, powerful voice spoke from one corner of the room, making Diana, Robin, Kermit, and Sweetums jump with surprise. They looked to the corner to see Yen Sid himself standing in the room with his arms folded and hidden within the large sleeves of his blue robe. Seeing the master sorcerer in person for the first time, they all were overwhelmed by the extraordinary impression he brought into the atmosphere of that room. Lights flickered, the fur on Sweetums’ body stood up, and chills went down each of their spines. Diana couldn’t begin to imagine how Joanie handled meeting such a godlike figure on her first encounter with him.

“I have observed my apprentice’s actions these past months, and I have realized that there is much she must learn before she takes on her new destiny.” Yen Sid stated. “That is why you will accept her power until she learns.”

Diana swallowed hard, pointing to herself with a shaky finger. “Muh-muh-muh-muh-me?”

“Of course.” Yen Sid remarked. “Only someone older and wiser could teach someone young and foolhardy how great power must be respected and not abused. You, madam, have that nature within you. You will show your daughter the lesson she must learn.”

“B-But I can’t…”

“IT IS DONE!”

Yen Sid unfolded his arms and raised them high in the air while a loud, ominous boom could be heard all around. The lights in the backstage area and the rest of the theater went out, leaving everyone in pitch-blackness for a short while. Once the lights returned, Joanie rushed back into the backstage area with Gonzo and Fozzie in tow.

“What in the world is going…?” She stopped as soon as she caught glimpse of the startling sight in the room that not only widened her eyes but Gonzo’s and Fozzie’s as well.

Standing in the middle of the room and literally sparkling with golden energy while wearing a glistening red robe over her blue blouse and black dress pants, as well as Yen Sid’s hat, was Diana Navarro in sorceress form. Her eyes were consumed in a white glow, leaving it hard for those around her to make out their usual hazel color. With her hands on her hips and a smile on her face, Diana spoke to Joanie in a confident, hollowed voice: “Hello, daughter.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the span of two days, Diana the sorceress proved just how much better she was with the magic that was supposed to belong to her daughter. On the first day, she wrapped all of the Christmas gifts that everyone in the theater was working on – each gift in just under a millisecond – and had them under the Christmas tree afterward. On the second day, she redid all of the incomplete Christmas decorations that Joanie and Gonzo worked on. What made Diana’s work different from Joanie’s – other than the fact she used magic for the whole thing – was how she had done it completely undetected and had it finished within just a few seconds. Her decorations were much spiffier as well, such as a mobile Santa on a sled and his reindeers with the words “Merry” and “Christmas” lit up above the display.

Everyone at the theater praised Diana for the impressive work she had done, which gave them some well-deserved relaxation time. Fozzie even had a chance to call his mother – something that he didn’t think he would have the time to do with preparing for the pageant; but, thanks to Diana’s assistance, he was able to get the perfect jokes ready for the show. In the meantime, Joanie – feeling worse than ever with her head cold – was bedridden during her mother’s escapades. Robin was the only person who bothered to check on her as she spent her time coughing, hacking, and sneezing in bed and using a dozen remedies passed down from her grandmother.

Robin walked in on her with a bowl of soup as her upper body was draped over the side of the bed, forcing her to watch an episode of her favorite show, Sanford and Son, upside down. “What’re you doing?” Robin curiously asked.

“Watching Fred have another fake heart attack,” she answered, sounding more nasally than before. “Watching it this way, it doesn’t look so fake…or even funny, for that matter.”

“I brought you some chicken soup.” Robin said.

Joanie softly chuckled, trying not to lead it into another cough. “Surprisingly didn’t find that remedy on Grandma Lynn’s list, but I’ll take it all the same. Just set it down on the floor right by my head.” Robin did as she instructed and watched as Joanie took the spoon – with her upper body still dangling upside down – and ate the chicken soup that way.

“Wow! That is incredible! How do you do that?”

Joanie smiled. “A trick I learned from Goofy.”

“You met Goofy?”

“Twice. Poor guy can’t take care of himself. I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up seeing him again soon…if there’ll ever be a ‘soon,’ with ‘mother superior’ out there using my magic.”

The topic of Diana using Joanie’s magic reminded Robin of Joanie’s outburst from the other day. The sulking frog then asked her, “Joanie, do you hate me?”

His question caught her so much by surprise that she briefly choked on the soup. “What?”

“Do you hate me?”

She saw how serious he was and pulled her upper body back to the bed, sitting upright to look at him directly. “Of course not, Robin. Why would you ask me that?”

“Well…what you said the other day about leaving this ‘cruddy’ theater…it sounded like you hate being here…hate being with us…or with me.”

Joanie sighed in frustration with herself. When she made that statement, she didn’t consider the fact that Robin was there when she said it and how he would feel afterward. “Oh, Robin. Come sit by me.” Again, Robin did as she requested, sitting by her on the bed. “Ever since the day you came into my boring life, you have been the best friend I’ve ever had. You’re more important to me than anything else.”

“Really?” The tiny frog asked with a smile.

“Really.”

“Even your magic?”

“Even my magic,” she said without hesitation. “After watching my mother these past couple of days, I believe I really have let those powers go to my head. It’s blinded me from the things that make me human…from the things I take for granted…from the people I really care about.” She gently petted Robin on the back. “I’m sorry for what I said. I don’t ever want to leave you or this theater.”

Robin smiled, feeling satisfied of Joanie’s assurance.

“Hey!” The exclamation came from Gonzo, who poked his head in through the doorway and told the two friends, “You won’t believe what Diana’s doing on the rooftop!”

Joanie moaned. “What? She’s moving the stars like Mickey did in Fantasia?”

“Yeah…how did you guess?” Gonzo asked to Joanie’s immediate surprise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanie, Robin, and Gonzo went out in front of the theater to see what all the other residents out there were seeing: Diana standing on the theater rooftop and manipulating the starry night sky. Exactly the way Mickey Mouse had done it in Fantasia, Diana danced as she pointed to individual stars, making them shine brighter than ever, and created comets that she had shoot across the sky. She did everything except for make the moon dance itself. After playing the cosmos, Diana followed up with shooting fireworks from her fingertips. Christmas had quickly turned into the Fourth of July as a rainbow of colors lit up the night atmosphere and loud booms filled the air. Everyone, except for Joanie, was bedazzled by the display of magic from Diana. In Joanie’s eyes, her mother was just as reckless with it as she was.

“MOM!” She furiously screamed from the top of her lungs, using all the energy she had left in her to get her mother’s attention. Upon hearing her daughter’s shouting, Diana abruptly ended her magical performance and turned her still-glowing eyes to Joanie. “That’s enough, Mom! No more magic!”

Diana suddenly floated away from the rooftop and towards the ground, heading directly for Joanie. The Muppets backed away as she gently landed right in front of Joanie, staring eye-to-eye with her. Diana’s body emitted a golden hue that was brighter than the Christmas lights on the theater’s structure; she was almost too blinding for Joanie to even look at, but she managed long enough to address her.

“No more magic.” Joanie repeated in a much softer tone.

“But magic is fun, honey.” Diana said in her hollowed voice. “There’s so much I can do with it. I’m on top of the world!”

Joanie shook her head in disbelief. “Are you serious? You were the one who said how reckless this power makes me! Look what it’s done to you! You’re doing everything you told me not to do! You can’t just abuse such great power! You have to take responsibility with it! It’s not a toy!”

Having listened to Joanie’s scolding statements, a large smile emerged on Diana’s face. “That’s exactly what I wanted you to say, sweetie,” she proudly said.

Confusion registered on Joanie’s face. “What?”

“Yen Sid loaned me your powers to help you see how they should and should not be handled.” Diana explained.

It took a moment for Joanie to realize what her mother was telling her. “When you helped everyone in the theater with the gift-wrapping and the preparation for the pageant…and what you did with the decorations and that little show you put on just now…all of it was to show me the rights and wrongs to my magic?”

Diana nodded. “You have to see the difference between the two if you’re going to be a powerful sorceress and a wonderful human being, dear. Being humbled with your abilities is just fine, but don’t let it make you selfish towards the people you love. This is a new life you’re coming into that goes beyond just growing up, and we’re all a part of it. Don’t shut us out…let us in.”

Heeding her mother’s words, Joanie looked back to her Muppet family and rested her eyes on Robin, who nodded in agreement with Diana. She smiled and turned back to her mother, nodding considerately. “Thank you, Mom.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie.”

Both mother and daughter embraced with the crowd of Muppets happily applauding near them. However, the applause stopped once everyone saw the unusual occurrence that took place during the embrace. The golden hue that engulfed Diana had transferred over to Joanie. The robe Diana wore morphed onto Joanie’s body. The patches of brown on Joanie’s purple hair merged with its overall color, returning her hair to its complete purple shade. And, finally, Joanie’s pale complexion returned to its usual skin tone.

Once their embrace ended, Diana and Joanie looked at themselves, seeing the result of the transference. Joanie was relieved to discover how easily she could breathe once her magic cured her of her head cold. “I feel like my old groovy self again,” she exclaimed in a healthy voice. “Sorry, Grandma Lynn, but there’s only one remedy that can cure this girl.”

 

[muppetwriter]

December 23, 1977 (The Third Tale)​

​

With only a couple of days before Christmas, things began to look up at the Muppet Theater. For Diana, it really felt like the holidays again. Preparations for the pageant were completely done, Fozzie’s mother decided to stay over for the week, all decorations and shopping were finished, and – most importantly – Joanie had been able to spend more time with her, just like they used to before she gained her abilities. All that needed to be done before everyone could relax into the twenty-fifth of December was the “business dinner” with J.P. Grosse. The dinner focused on Grosse giving his approval for the pageant; it was important for everyone that he did, since he was the owner of the theater. Of course, Diana was confident that the dinner would go smoothly with everything well-organized for the big pageant.

While double-checking with just hours before J.P. Grosse arrived, Diana passed by Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker, who both carried a large box with an unusual product printed over it and a label that read “Wii U.” Curious, she stopped and asked them, “Uh, hey, boys? What is that thing? A new Muppet Labs invention?”

“On the contrary, Ms. Navarro.” Bunsen said. “It’s a brilliant product that Miss Joanie conjured up with magic. Beaker and I guess that it’s from the future.” Beaker meeped in approval of the hypothesis.

Diana wasn’t too pleased with this. She thought Joanie had learned her lesson about using her magic for trivial needs, especially giving bizarre presents like the one she had given Bunsen and Beaker. Immediately, she headed to the backstage area where she knew her daughter currently was. As she entered the area, she passed by a gigantic figure that stood in the room.

“Hi there,” he greeted.

“Hello,” grunted Diana, too upset to sound polite. She found Joanie sitting at the bottom of the staircase leading to the upstairs dressing rooms. The sorcerer hat was sitting atop her daughter’s head and, at the moment she found her, she had a worried look upon her face. “Joanie…”

Joanie held up one hand in protest. “I know what you’re gonna say. But, before we continue this conversation, let me introduce you to Ralph. Ralph, my mother.”

She gestured to the figure she passed behind her and Diana turned to face him, getting a good look at him for the first time. He was gigantic and muscular with auburn hair and eyebrows, a pink nose, and abnormally large hands and feet. He wore brown overalls with one strap ripped, a green shirt beneath a red/orange plaid polo shirt, and no shoes (exposing his abnormally large feet). Up close, he looked as tall as Sweetums – if not taller – and resembled a Muppet, which was how Diana easily mistook him as a resident of the theater. The stranger, whose name apparently was Ralph, waved one of his large hands at Diana and said, “Hello…again.”

Taken aback from the large character, Diana turned back to her daughter and frantically whispered, “What is he?”

Joanie shrugged. “Still trying to figure that one out myself. When he showed up here, the first thing he asked me was when we were first ‘plugged in.’”

Diana grew more confused. “Plugged in? You mean like…an appliance?”

“Or an arcade game.” Joanie deduced, scratching her head. “He must think he’s in one.”

“Terrific. A Disney character who promotes wasting time.”

“Hey, I heard that,” said an offended Ralph. “Video games aren’t a waste of time.”

Doing her best to ignore Ralph, Diana kept her focus on Joanie. “Why did you bring him here? I thought you were going to be more responsible over your magic.”

“I didn’t mean to bring him.” Joanie defended her case. “My abilities have been in a flux lately.”

“A flux?” Diana uttered. “What kind of a flux?”

“I dunno.” Joanie said. “It might have something to do with my cold? I’m still trying to figure it out.”

“Well, you better figure it out before J.P. Grosse arrives tonight for the business dinner.” Diana warned.

Joanie seemed unnerved by her mother’s update. “Wait. Scooter’s uncle is coming here…tonight?”

At that moment, the stars and moon designs on her hat sparkled and glowed. They then heard the floorboards beneath them creak louder than usual as a pair of wooden eyes, looking at Joanie, Diana, and Ralph, and a wooden mouth that spoke in a creaky old man’s voice suddenly emerged from one section. “Oh, thank goodness! I can finally speak my mind! You people seriously need to wipe your feet before walking in! You track so much dirt and filth that I’ve developed the most horrible taste in my mouth!” To emphasize its point, the talking floor spat out bits of dirt that hit Diana’s black boots.

While Joanie and Diana looked on in horror at the suddenly animate floor, Ralph then approached the two women, rubbing his belly and saying, “You guys throwin’ a dinner party tonight? Oh, wow. I’d love to stop by. I haven’t had a good power-up in hours. Hey, how much health do you get here? They’re not too strong, are they? I don’t want to eat anything that’ll make me like Mario and his mushrooms.”

Between their two unexpected and bizarre new guests, Diana glared at Joanie, who felt very small looking up at her furious mother. “I’ll go see Yen Sid right away,” she guiltily assured.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“A curious case indeed, apprentice,” said Yen Sid, standing in his workshop along with Joanie and Mickey. He examined his ancient hat, which he passed over to Joanie just months ago, after he helped transform her into the sorceress she was that day. “The abnormalities in your magic do not come from the hat. They come from you, young one.”

He handed the hat back over to Joanie, who seemed more confused than before she arrived in the Fantasia realm to see him and Mickey. “So…it was my cold that messed up my powers.”

Yen Sid shook his head. “No, it was not.”

“Then what is it?” Joanie asked, but Yen Sid didn’t respond; instead, he calmly sat down at his desk and folded his arms. “You’re not gonna tell me, are you?” Again, he didn’t say a word, which prompted Joanie to look over to Mickey and ask, “Is he always this secretive?”

Mickey, not expecting Joanie to have brought him into their conversation, stammered a response. “I…uh…Oh, gosh…uh…” He glanced over to Yen Sid, who shot him an intense stare as if to tell his other apprentice to remain silent himself. Heeding his master’s stare, Mickey ignored Joanie’s question and grabbed a nearby broom to pretend to sweep the floors with, despite the fact that he already did before Joanie’s arrival.

“Only you can determine the faulty in your magic, apprentice.” Yen Sid told Joanie, who didn’t seem pleased with his answer.

She groaned and said, “The owner of the Muppet Theater – my home – is coming tonight for a dinner that could very well determine the future of the Muppets – my family. If I don’t get this under control before then, I’ll lose my home and my family.”

“You allow one man to determine your destiny?” Yen Sid pondered aloud.

“You don’t understand.” Joanie said. “This is J.P. Grosse we’re talking about. Just the mentioning on his name…well…it…” As Joanie tensely stumbled on her words, the hat glowed in her hands.

Suddenly, the broom in Mickey’s hands came to life just as it did once before when he used magic. It danced around the workshop while Mickey chased after it, not wanting to relive the nightmare again. Fortunately, Yen Sid put a stop to the mayhem before it continued any longer, getting up from his desk and raising his hands up. The animated broom turned inanimate once again, leaving Mickey tackling and strangling an ordinary object. As soon as he realized what Yen Sid had done to the broom, Mickey dropped it and bashfully smiled.

Yen Sid sat back down at his desk, sighing.

“I’m so sorry, master,” said a dejected Joanie. She then looked down at the hat in her hands and received a revelation. “Wait a minute. It is the hat! All of this weirdness only happens when I have it with me! If I just leave it here ‘til after the business dinner, then everything will be fine!” She left the hat sitting on Yen Sid’s desk and rushed out of the workshop. After a moment, however, she returned and looked a little sheepish. “Uh…I’m gonna need it to get back home.”

Yen Sid tediously sighed over his apprentice’s carelessness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

J.P. Grosse arrived on time for the business dinner. Thankfully, everyone at the Muppet Theater was fully prepared for his arrival. Diana and Joanie were both in dresses and carefully-applied makeup. On her mother’s request, Joanie returned her purple hair to its usual brown shade, which slightly annoyed her; she already felt that she looked like Laura Ingalls with her dress.

While it was just the two of them setting the dinner table that was situated on the stage, Diana took the time to ask, “So were you able to take of your ‘problem?’”

Joanie was momentarily stumped on the “problem” that her mother referred to. Once she caught on, she said, “Oh, yeah, I was. No thanks to Yen Sid though.”

“What happened?”

“He said that my hat wasn’t the problem, but me.”

“What? Surely, you misunderstood him.”

Joanie shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe it’s just him twisting his words like he usually does. He says that I’m the problem, but what he really means is the hat’s the problem. I left it in the prop room, far away from me for the next couple of hours.”

Diana breathed with relief. “Oh, thank goodness. I can’t stress enough how…”

“…much this dinner means everything for the theater.” Joanie finished for her mother. “Mom, everything is going to be just fine. I promise.” He gave her a reassuring smile that Diana happily returned.

Just as the two women were finished setting up the table, J.P. Grosse entered along with the other Muppets, including his nephew Scooter. Ralph showed up as well, much to the displeasure of Diana, but Joanie promised that the unusual Disney character wouldn’t create much of a ruckus. That remained to be seen by Diana, who saw Ralph sit beside Grosse, towering over him.

Ralph went right to eating the appetizers that Diana and Joanie set beforehand, moaning delightfully as he took each bite. “Mmm! How ‘bout this macaroni and cheese, eh?” He said to Grosse, who looked uncomfortable just sitting next to him. “They don’t make good power-ups like this from the game I come from!”

Grosse glanced at Ralph and shook his head, looking Kermit’s way. “You know, Frog, between this guy and that talking floor ya got back there, you’ve got quite the madhouse here.”

Kermit nervously nodded. “I, uh, knew that I was running one the day I took the job, sir.”

Grosse grunted a response. “So where’s this main course I’ve been expecting? Haven’t eaten all day.”

“Chef’s cooking us up quite the turkey, Uncle J.P.” Scooter said.

“Good. Good.” Grosse said before taking a puff of his cigar and getting right to business. “So what will this pageant of yours have, Frog?”

“Well, we mostly have the usual scheme of things – singing, dancing, jokes, stunts…”

“Stunts?” A surprised J.P. remarked.

“Oh, I’ve got that covered.” Gonzo said. “I’m planning on testing the myth of Santa and his reindeer by shooting myself, dressed as Santa, and eight live reindeer out of a cannon.”

Just hearing Gonzo describe the stunt made everyone else at the table, especially J.P. Grosse, immensely uncomfortable. “That doesn’t sound like something for a Christmas pageant,” said J.P. “Sounds more like something out of an illegal dog and pony show.”

Robin tapped on Joanie’s arm and whispered, “How is a dog and pony show illegal?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Joanie whispered back.

“Nope. I can’t allow some freak nut and eight live reindeer to be shot out of a cannon.” Grosse demanded. “What else ya got, Frog?”

Kermit actually started to sweat, which didn’t seem possible to the others, considering he was a frog. “Well, uh…” He cleared his throat, looking to the others sitting at the table until his eyes settled on a particular bear. “F-Fozzie has some great jokes for the show. T-Tell him one, Fozzie.”

“Sure thing, Kermit!” A delighted Fozzie acknowledged. “So there’s this elf and a…”

“Heard it.” J.P. hastily interrupted.

Taken aback from the interruption, Fozzie said, “Well…you didn’t let me finish.”

“Ya heard one Christmas joke, you’ve heard them all.” Grosse said. “What else ya got, Frog?” Before the highly agitated Kermit could respond, J.P. added, “And it better be something good because ya got two out of four outta the picture.”

Diana and Joanie exchanged a worried glance before looking over to Kermit, who was now sweating bullets, having to use his napkin to absorb the sweat. “Well, we…uh…w-we always deliver on our singing and dancing, J.P. Our first season has proved that.”

“Who’s your guest?” Grosse inquired.

“W-We haven’t gone one.” Kermit answered.

“Yes, we do!” Joanie hurriedly said to the surprise of everyone around her.

J.P. took another puff from his cigar, eyeing Joanie. “Who then?”

With all eyes on her, Joanie felt very embarrassed for even speaking out of turn. “Mickey Mouse,” she murmured.

“I’m sorry?” J.P. said. “Speak up, kid. None of us with ears can hear ya.”

Joanie sighed and spoke clearer. “Mickey Mouse.”

Grosse grunted with laughter, encouraging everyone else to laugh along with him, believing Joanie’s response to have been a big joke. However, when J.P. slammed his fist down on the table, everyone went silent. “Even the bear could come up with a better joke than that, kid. It seems to me like you all haven’t got a Christmas show worth watching this year. You don’t even have any good props for it. I snooped around your prop room just a while ago and found this ugly thing.”

From under the table, J.P. yanked out the sorcerer hat. As soon as she and the others saw it in the theater owner’s hand, Joanie’s eyes grew wide with terror. Reacting to her emotions, the hat glowed in Grosse’s hand to his immediate surprise. At the same time of the occurrence, the Swedish Chef entered with a freshly baked turkey. Before Chef could have put it down on the table, the baked turkey came to alive, standing up on the platter and leaping onto the table.

The baked turkey surprisingly began to sing, despite not having a head, and dance along to a song that none of the people there ever heard. All it did was a strange dance and yelled “Oppa Gangnam Style” between South Korean lyrics. The bizarre display made J.P. drop his cigar to the stage floor as he looked upon the singing and dancing turkey in total disbelief. Even Chef was spooked by the sight, enough so that he pulled out a large knife and immediately hacked the animate turkey to pieces, splattering chunks all over the face of J.P. Grosse. As soon as the turkey was “dead” again, Chef muttered something in his Swedish tongue and headed back into the kitchen.

It was extremely quiet around the table after the inexplicable incident. Diana, seeing how Grosse was covered in pieces of the once-living baked turkey, quickly rushed over to him with a napkin and wiped some of the turkey off his face like a parent cleaning a messy child. “Here, let me get that for you, sir.”

Unfortunately, a furious J.P. Grosse refused her service, brushing her off of him. “Get off me, woman! This is the last straw! There’s certainly not going to a pageant now! There’s not even gonna be any more shows in this theater, ‘cause I’m tearing it down first thing tomorrow!”

His sudden declaration brought out a collective gasp from everyone. “B-But tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, sir.” Kermit said.

“Can’t think of a better time than any to get the job done!” Grosse roared. “I was gonna wait until next year to do this, but now I think Christmas would be a perfect time to start turning this place into a junkyard. There’s more money in real junk than this junk you got here, especially this ugly hat!” He threw the sorcerer hat on the table, letting it land in a bowl of gravy. Seeing this, Joanie grew angry.

“Whoa! What a terrific idea for an act!” Gonzo joyously exclaimed in response to Grosse’s sinister plan. “Wish I thought of it.”

The weirdo’s enthusiasm wasn’t too welcoming for his fellow residents. “Gee, thanks, Gonzo. You’re a real trooper,” uttered a sarcastic Kermit.

“You have first thing ‘til tomorrow morning to get outta here before I have my boys tear this place down.” Grosse warned as he got up from the table and began to leave.

Before Grosse could get any further from the table, Joanie got up herself and yelled to him. “Listen here, J.P.!” The tone in her voice stopped him cold in his tracks, looking directly at her and seeing the intense glare in her eyes. “Now you may own this theater, but you don’t own the people in it. We’ve come up with a groovy show for this Christmas with beautiful singing and dancing, some pretty good jokes, and an entertaining – yet mildly disturbing – stunt. You are not going to tear this theater down. You will let us do our Christmas show and all other shows in the future. And if you think you’re gonna tear this theater down…well…you can just forget it!”

With each word that she said, her voice grew hollow and her eyes turned ghostly white in front of everyone. Kermit and Diana both suspected Grosse would definitely shut them down after Joanie’s outburst and display of her abilities. That was until J.P. Grosse shook his head and said in bewilderment, “W-What? Wha…What was I saying just now?” His confusion made everyone else confused, including Joanie, whose eyes returned to their natural color.

“You okay, Uncle J.P.?” Scooter asked.

“Well, of course I am.” J.P. said. “I was, uh…I was saying that, uh…Ah, yes! I was just about to say how groovy I think your pageant sounds, and I cannot wait to see it in two days! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to grab a burger. Your meal didn’t fill me as well as I’d hoped.”

The theater owner and uncle of Scooter then departed from the stage, leaving behind a puzzled group of people. All eyes refocused on Joanie, who had no explanation for Grosse’s sudden change of heart; at least not until she gazed at the hat, which she plucked out of the gravy bowl and stared over for a long moment, having an idea of how she got J.P. to change his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening, Joanie continued staring at the hat, which had been cleansed of the gravy that once ruined it, while sitting at the bottom of the staircase leading to the backstage dressing rooms. Diana walked in with a huge smile on her face, discovering her daughter at the staircase. She approached her and said, “Hey, since our dinner party was a bust, we all decided to go out for pizza. Your buddy Ralph is going to finish all the leftovers here. Wanna come with us?”

Joanie shook her head, not once looking at her mother. “No, thanks. I’ll stay here.”

Diana took notice in how discouraged she looked and sat down beside her. “Hey, sweetie. I’m not mad about you using magic. I’m actually really glad you did. You saved the theater!”

“Hooray.” Joanie uttered in a deadpan delivery.

Her somber attitude only confused Diana more. “What is up with you?”

“Mom, I used magic without the hat tonight. Do you know what that means?” Joanie looked at her and saw the confusion on her face, which was still beautified with makeup. “It means that Yen Sid was right – the problem really was with me. I just didn’t want to admit the truth.”

“The truth about what?”

“That I’m not ready to become a sorceress.” She sighed with tears falling from her eyes. “I’m not ready to become this ‘Guardian of the Disneyverse’ that Yen Sid wants me to be. I didn’t ask for this honor, and I don’t want it. I just want to be normal again. I don’t want people like J.P. Grosse thinking that I’m a freak when even I know that I am.”

Her daughter’s despair made Diana herself cry; it was the same thoughts that she had before she realized how magnificent she really was with magic, but she didn’t dare let Joanie know it at that time. Instead, she told her, “Joanie…honey, look at me. You are not a freak. You are the most confident and gifted young lady I have ever known. You are going to be a marvelous sorceress. You will inspire many lives and save them at the same time. You’ve done just that tonight when you prevented J.P. from taking our home and family away from us. I have never been more proud to have you as my little girl.”

Through her tears, Joanie smiled. “Thank you, Mama.”

The two hugged and cried into each other’s shoulders.

During their embrace, Gonzo entered the room and asked in an impatient tone, “Hey, are you two coming or what?” His voice brought Joanie and Diana out of their embrace, and they looked to him with faces covered in smeared makeup. Gonzo’s eyelids went up as he looked at the damage their tears had done. “Wow! You ladies look gorgeous!”

Joanie and Diana looked at each other, confounded by the weirdo’s compliment. But then they gradually transitioned into laughter as soon as they got the “punch line” of the situation. Unfortunately, Gonzo didn’t.

 

[muppetwriter]

December 25, 1977 (The Fourth and Final Tale)​

​

It was finally Christmas morning, which meant that the Muppet Theater’s pageant was later that night. With all the pressures following the big event behind them, there was nothing but excitement filled in the air as all of the theater residents awoke to open presents. Everyone got exactly what they asked for that Christmas, including Joanie, who received a hatbox from her mother that included a lock that only she could open. It was exactly what she needed, since her hat ended up in the most random of places throughout the theater. It was the best Christmas morning Joanie spent yet with her family.

But it seemed to have gotten taxing again when Joanie’s presence was requested at Yen Sid’s workshop in the Fantasia realm. Before she could even use her new hatbox, she needed to use the hat to transport herself between worlds. However, Joanie didn’t journey alone that time. On the request of her mother, she was accompanied by her because – in her words – she wanted to give Yen Sid a piece of her mind. The last thing Joanie needed was for her mother to cause trouble in front of her master, but there was no talking her out of it unfortunately.

The two women arrived at the workshop where Yen Sid had been waiting for them. Immediately after they materialized in the room, Diana stormed up to Yen Sid and furiously said, “Alright, Yen Sen! Let’s get one thing straight! Just because you don’t have Christmas in this world doesn’t mean that you can interrupt the one we’re having in our world! Who do you think you are inter—?”

Diana stopped just as she and Joanie heard tiny barking from within the workshop. Looking around, they saw no sign of a puppy in the area. But then they looked past Yen Sid and saw Mickey with a familiar bloodhound puppy that was slender gold, had a black nose and long ears, a green collar, and a long black tail. The puppy licked Mickey’s face, making the mouse giggle with delight. Touched by the sight, Joanie and Diana smiled, letting out a long “Aww.”

“I’m afraid you’ve been misinformed, madam.” Yen Sid told Diana with a grin. “We do have Christmas in our world.”

“Master Yen Sid got me this cute lil’ puppy for Christmas.” Mickey said. “Haven’t gotten a chance to name him yet. What name you think I should give him, Joanie?”

Joanie couldn’t stop smiling at the beautiful sight of Mickey and his new puppy. “I believe ‘Pluto’ sounds like a wonderful name for that lil’ guy, Mickey.”

Mickey considered the name. “Pluto, huh?” He looked down at the puppy, gently stroking his tiny head, and smiled. “That does sound like a wonderful name. Thanks, Joanie.”

“You’re perfectly welcome, buddy.” Joanie happily remarked.

Yen Sid stood beside Joanie, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I requested your presence on this day of all days, apprentice, because I wish to give my Christmas gift for you.”

Joanie seemed astounded and excited. “You have a Christmas gift for me?”

“A simple one actually. Nothing too extravagant.” Yen Sid casually mentioned.

Her excitement quickly dropped. “Oh.” She then heard her mother deliberately clearing her throat as a reminder of her to be thankful for her master’s gift. On this reminder, Joanie uttered more enthusiastically, “I mean…Oh!”

Yen Sid grinned. “With this being your first Christmas as my apprentice, you have proven yourself worthy of the abilities you possess. I have watched you on your journey into becoming guardian of this universe – or ‘Disneyverse,’ as you call it – and what I have seen has shown me that you are indeed ready.” His words made Joanie beam with honor. “There is just one more test you must pass before I grant you the title.”

Joanie’s smile faded as soon as Yen Sid uttered the word “test.” She swallowed hard, bracing herself for whatever crucial task he was about to assign her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanie felt her body stiffen as she stood upon a risen platform in the center of the largest ancient stadium she had ever seen – larger than the stadiums used for the Super Bowl – with an audience of sorcerers and sorceresses dressed in an assortment of red and blue robes. Some of them were human while others were non-human entities similar to Mickey, coming from a variety of races like duck and dog. Joanie could have sworn that some of these magical beings were distant relatives of Donald Duck and Goofy.

Yen Sid brought Joanie before this audience of sorcerers and sorceresses as her final test, yet it was quite an overwhelming (if not unexpected) one. As much as Joanie had been used to performing in front of audiences at the Muppet Theater, she had never spoken before such a massive audience of people. Thankfully, her mother stood nearby with Yen Sid, Mickey, and Pluto, giving her enough confidence and humility to address the large crowd. Taking a deep breath, she magically augmented her voice so that it was heard throughout the stadium and let the words flow:

“My fellow members of the parliament. I’m sure you’ve heard of me by now. My name is Joanie Navarro, but you recognize me as the envisaged guardian of this world and the others beyond it. Honestly, I don’t know much of what to tell you other than I’m really honored to be given the task of watching out for this universe. A year ago, on this day, I spent Christmas wondering what challenges the New Year would bring. I was always so worried about my future – what I’d become one day. But, this past summer, I had the esteemed pleasure in seeing my future…or at least one possible future. I’m gonna be a mother of four beautiful children – three lovely daughters and one handsome son…a son…Man, I’ve dreamt of having one…a lil’ guy to raise as a strong young man…and if you’ve seen the son I will have, then you’ll know why I’m so thankful for the years of my life to come.

My master, Yen Sid, says that his Christmas gift to me is the title of ‘Guardian.’ But, honestly, as great of a gift that is for my new life as a sorceress, the best gift is my family – my mother and all the other people back in my world. You have my word that I will protect the worlds of the Disneyverse with every power I have. But I will also protect my world – my home – first and foremost. I thank you – all of you – for believing in me and my abilities. I will not let you down!”

Joanie’s speech was instantly met with a roar of applause from the assemblage of sorcerers and sorceresses. A large smile manifested on Joanie’s face as she was illuminated from the glistening sunlight that peaked through the glorious white clouds above the stadium. Yen Sid and Mickey applauded as well, while Pluto’s small barks supplemented them. And Diana, tears in her eyes, simply stared at her daughter with a proud smile. Joanie soon went to her mother and gave her a warm hug, whispering “I love you” in her ear.

And so the final test was passed. Joanie Navarro, my apprentice, had graduated into the title of “Guardian of the Disneyverse.” Responsibility, love, humility, and confidence – these are the characteristics of a true guardian. With the help of her family, Young Joanie mastered these characteristics and ensured herself a future as the most powerful sorceress in the universe, protecting countless worlds and saving many lives. And what of the Muppets’ Christmas pageant? It was a grand success that must be seen to believe. And the best part – it was all started by a mouse.

Yen Sid​

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THE END​