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MissMusical12
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Miss me, guys? Been a while since I wrote any oneshots, since I've been so busy with everything in the world that I've only had time to do outlines (How many am I up to now? I really lost count...
) By the way, I'm just gonna say this flat out: I'm NOT doing anymore of those....PG-13/second base/ sexy stories. I think I kinda pushed the envelope with that on the last oneshot I did. 
I apologize. On a brighter note: This oneshot is a conjoint oneshot with both KermitxMiss Piggy (-cue the Hallelujah-) and FloydxJanice! Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE MUPPETS!! They are owned by The Jim Henson Company, The Walt Disney Company and The Muppet Studios!
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"Rowlf! Turn it up!" Miss Piggy commanded to Rowlf as he turned up the nearby radio that was sitting on his piano for the past few hours. In what really Miss Piggy should've been doing was practicing her song for the upcoming show, she was too occupied with her radio to even rehearse. "Hey, uh, why are we listening to this radio again?" Rowlf asked. Miss Piggy laughed and replied "Oh, Rowlf, don't vous remember? Today's the day of that big radio contest. The winner gets tickets to that new opera everyone is talking about. And moi is determined to win those tickets for me and my Kermie." "Oh yeah, you and the frog," he said. "That figures as much. What's the opera? "Pigoletto?" " Rowlf then laughed, but Miss Piggy wasn't too pleased with his comment at all. "Oh, knock it off."
"Okay, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for this week's big radio contest!" the disc jockey over the radio announced. "Rowlf! Give me the phone!" Miss Piggy commanded as Rowlf rushed to get the nearby telephone for her. "And remember, this week's prize is tickets to that brand new opera everyone's talking about!" the disc jockey continued. "What is this new opera?" Rowlf asked. "Does it even have a name at all, Mr. Disc Jockey?" "Alright, the second person to call in to 555-MRADIO is the winner of the tickets! That's 555-MRADIO!"
Miss Piggy dialed the number right away and waited for the response. "Alright, congratulations! We have ourselves a winner!" the disc jockey announced over the radio and in Miss Piggy's phone. "And what is your name, caller number 2?" "Miss Piggy," she replied excitingly. "Alright, Miss Piggy, you just won tickets to the opera!" "Yes!" Miss Piggy exclaimed excitingly. "Merci bocoup, Mr. Disc Jockey." "Oh, but we're not done yet," the disc jockey said. "For tickets into the all exclusive balcony and a limo ride to the opera house, all you need to do is answer this ONE question!"
"Bring it, buster!" Miss Piggy demanded. "Okay!" the disc jockey replied. "You have 30 seconds to answer this question....." "Ha! This shouldn't be hard at all," Miss Piggy bragged. "Who is the composer of that famous opera Don Giovanni?" " the disc jockey asked. Miss Piggy froze on the spot. How she should SHE know how wrote Don Giovanni? "Uhh....uhhh...." she stumbled over the phone. Rowlf rolled his eyes; figuring he should help Miss Piggy out, even if he didn't really want to. "Mozart," he whispered to Miss Piggy. "MOZART!" Miss Piggy yelled over the phone. "That's it! That's the answer!" the disc jockey exclaimed. "Congratulations, Miss Piggy! You just won four tickets into the balcony seat of the opera house and a limo ride to the opera house!"
Miss Piggy then got really excited over winning, but stopped for a moment. "Four?" she asked over the phone. "I thought you only said two tickets?" "It was always four tickets," the disc jockey replied. "I guess someone wasn't paying attention." He then laughed not only over the phone but right on the radio, too. Furious, Miss Piggy replied "Oh yeah! Pay attention to this, buster!" She then slammed the phone down and threw the radio across the room. Rowlf, who just witness this fury from her, simply replied "The hog has officially gone wild."
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A little while later, Kermit met up with Miss Piggy at the cafe for their afternoon coffee date. Miss Piggy always loved their coffee dates. Come to think of it, she appreciated just about ANY date the two go on. "So how was vous day so far, Kermie?" she asked. "Pretty good," Kermit replied. "I finally got the Torpedo Sisters shark swallowing act onto next week's show. And plus, I promised Scooter to run the rehearsal for the show, so I have some free time on my hands for this weekend. And yours, Piggy?" "Kermie, I just won exclusive balcony tickets for vous and moi to that new opera everyone's talking about over the radio this morning!" Miss Piggy exclaimed excitingly. "That's great, Piggy," Kermit replied, feeling happy for her. "What is this new opera?" "I don't know," she replied. "But if everyone's talking about it, then we should see it." Kermit shrugged and replied "I guess. I haven't been to an opera in forever. So it's good that I'm coming along with you to this." "Awww, Kermie," Miss Piggy blushed and kissed Kermit's cheek. "Moi does have...one dilemma though."
"What's that?" Kermit asked. "And don't worry if it's about who's going to take care of Foo Foo while were gone. Scooter's promised that already." "Oh Scooter," Miss Piggy replied. "How he's so helpful around here. But anyways, moi kinda won four tickets to the opera." "Oh that's not a big deal, dear," he said, without a worry. "We'll get Gonzo and Camilla to come with us....." "Ah, but mon cher," Miss Piggy reminded. "Remember the LAST time we took Gonzo and Camilla with us on a double date?"
------------------------------------------Flashback----------------------------------------
Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo and Camilla are at a seafood restaurant. Gonzo has released the killer lobsters on the people in the restaurant. "Woo!" Gonzo yelled out. "Free the lobsters! Free the lobsters!" "Bgawk! (Freedom!)" Camilla clucked out as well. All of a sudden, Kermit is attacked by the one of the lobsters. "GET YOUR CLAWS OFF MY FROG, YOU FREAK!" Miss Piggy yelled out. "HIYAAAAA!" She then karate chopped the lobster off of Kermit. "Remind me, the next time we decide to go on a double date, we don't take Gonzo with us," Kermit then said and fainted.
--------------------------------------Flashback Over-----------------------------------------
Kermit then gulped and said "I guess you're right. I mean, it was a Lobster Eating Convention after all. I guess I didn't know that Gonzo and Camilla were pro-lobster." He and Miss Piggy then sighed in unison and tried to think. Who else could they bring with them to the opera that wasn't going to destroy the opera house, unleash an army of killer lobsters, or anything crazy like that? Miss Piggy's eyes then widened as she got an idea. Kermit's eyes followed suit and widened as well. "Floyd and Janice," the two then said together.
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"We ain't goin' to no opera!" Floyd protested as Kermit and Miss Piggy brought up the idea to him and Janice a little while later. "But, Floyd, we have no one else to bring," Kermit replied. "Like why not Gonzo and Camilla?" Janice suggested. Miss Piggy and Kermit shuttered in fear together and yelled out in unison "NO!" Janice then turned to Floyd, whom batted his eyes a few times and remembered "Oh yeah...yeah, the Killer Lobster thing. Hey, don't fret. That happened to us, too."
------------------------------------------Flashback------------------------------------------------
Floyd, Janice, Gonzo and Camilla are at the same seafood restaurant. Gonzo has broken the giant fish tank, causing the restaurant to flood and free the organic fish. "Free the fish! Free the fish! Free the fish!" Gonzo yelled out as he and Camilla were standing on top of one of the floating tables. Floyd and Janice's table that they were standing on, huddled together in fear, was sinking fast. "Sugar, I think we're goin' down," Floyd commented just before he and Janice hit underwater.
--------------------------------------Flashback Over---------------------------------------------
"It felt like the Titanic hit a new low that night," Floyd chuckled. "Fer sure," Janice added in and laughed with him. "But like rully we're not going to that opera." "Why not?" Miss Piggy asked. "Opera is definitely not our tune," Floyd replied as he tuned his bass guitar.
Miss Piggy then thought of something for a minute and then replied "Moi has been to this opera house before. And the exclusive balcony has an open bar." Floyd's widened as soon as he heard the words "open bar." "Open bar?" he asked. "They sell Strawberry Thunders?" "And Harper's Isles," Miss Piggy added in. Floyd and Janice then turned to each other and nodded in agreement. "Okay, you've convinced us," Floyd said.
"That's great!" Kermit said excitingly. "Piggy, what time does that opera start tomorrow night?" "8:00 sharp," Miss Piggy replied. "Operas always start on time...not like musicals where they start 5 minutes later." "Good," Floyd butted in. "And we can get out of there quicker. How long is this mess?" "Three and a half hours," Miss Piggy answered. Floyd and Janice then groaned together in dismay. "Jan and I are drivin' my own wheels there then," Floyd then said.
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The following night was the night to head to the opera. Floyd decided to stick around in Janice's apartment room to get ready. Under Miss Piggy's "threatening" request, Floyd had to wear his tuxedo to the opera, much to his dismay. Patiently plucking his acoustic guitar, Floyd called out "Jan, you almost ready?" "Like, I'll be done in a minute!" she called out from her bedroom. Floyd continued to pluck his guitar until Janice called out "Okay, like I'm ready."
Floyd's eyes then met Janice's as she came out of her bedroom. On her was a ravishing dark pink, sparkly, long sleeved, not too low cut, dress. Her beautiful blonde hair was down and had on her favorite pink barrette. Floyd's heart might of skipped a beat or two just staring at his beautiful girlfriend in a dress like that. He then set his acoustic guitar to the side and went over to her.
"No tuxedo tonight?" he teased. "Like Piggy insisted I wear a dress tonight," Janice replied. "She'd like kill me if I wore a tuxedo tonight." "You wore one for her wedding," Floyd reminded her. "Piggy took my other dress. There was rully nothing else," Janice playfully argued. Floyd then nodded and lead Janice over to her couch. "Don't worry 'bout it. Piggy made me wear my tuxedo tonight," he said as Janice helped get his rose corsage on. "Bummer," Janice said in agreement. "I rully liked you in that other suit you had. Here, you look like you're in one of those like James Bond movies." Floyd then batted his eyes and blushed lightly at her compliment. "How kind of you." he replied.
"Hey can you like help me get my necklace on?" Janice then asked. "The guitar one I gave you?" Floyd asked in wonder. "Fer sure," she replied and gave him the necklace. "Anything, darlin' " Floyd replied and carefully got her necklace on her neck, right where it belonged. He then lightly kissed the back of her neck after he got the necklace on, which gave Janice quite a surprise. "You tease," Janice said. Floyd chuckled and replied "It's what I do best, babe."
"Uh oh," Janice then said as she glanced at her wall clock. "Like it's 7:15! Floyd, we better like go!" "Alright," Floyd replied as he grabbed the keys to his convertible "Hop into the car and we'll take the shortcut." Janice then locked the door to her apartment room behind her and followed behind Floyd to his convertible parked outside the apartment. Floyd decided to keep the top down on such a lovely night (and because he was kinda in a hurry) and immediately drove off as soon as he and Janice were set.
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"Ugh! WHY ISN'T THIS TRAFFIC MOVING!?!?!" Miss Piggy yelled out. The impatient Miss Piggy and her Kermit were taking her prized limo down to the opera house....but they were stuck in traffic for more than 10 minutes now. Kermit then checked his watch. "7:45," he told Miss Piggy. "OH MY GOODNESS!!!!" Miss Piggy yelled out in worry. "I bet Floyd and Janice are already there, drinking their troubles away." "Well, traffic seems to be moving a little bit..." Kermit said as he looked out the window. The limo budged, but only by a bit. "Or not..."
"GAAAAAAAAAAH!" Miss Piggy yelled out. "That's it! Driver! Open the top!" The driver immediately opened the top of the limo, which gave Miss Piggy the opportunity to grab Kermit's hand and rush the two of them out of the limo. The two then leaped from car to car, finding their pathway to the opera house much quicker than the slow moving traffic. The only thing that worried Miss Piggy more than how she looked jumping from car to car, with her sparkly purple gown and thousand dollar white high heels on, was getting to the opera house on time.
The two then made it to the opera house in the nick of time as Floyd and Janice stood outside waiting for them. "Like what took you two so long?" Janice asked. "And what happened to that limo? Did you drive the driver to tears?" Floyd laughed. An exhausted Kermit panted wearily "Too....much....traffic....had to....jump..." "Kermie...."Miss Piggy panted herself. "It...wasn't....that bad...Let's....go inside, dear." Miss Piggy then took Kermit's shoulder and led him inside, Floyd and Janice following right behind them.
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The four got into their seats in the balcony right as the overture to the opera was playing. The overture sounded like a dramatic event, like someone was dying. "Ooooh, Kermie!" Miss Piggy exclaimed. "Just look at this gorgeous view! You see everything here!" Kermit nodded in agreement. He remembered being in the exclusive balcony of the opera house years before. It was at a perfect angle to where one can see the action on stage clearly. And it was also just feet from the ceiling, decorated so gracefully with its designs. The four then took their seats, but Floyd and Janice's seats were closer to the door, just so they could sneak out to the open bar.
As the first scene was opening up, in what looked like a funeral, Miss Piggy's head was on Kermit's shoulder as she sighed in amazement at the scene going on. "Oh, Kermie," Miss Piggy sighed. "Amour at a funeral....love at first sight." "Falling in love at a funeral?" Kermit whispered. "What kind of opera is this?" "Whoever wrote this is a genius," Miss Piggy happily replied. "*Whoever wrote this should be shot," ( *Note, please read here: *Took that line from "Muppets Tonight.") Kermit muttered under his breath.
Meanwhile, Kermit wasn't the only one who felt confused but a tad bored with this opera. Floyd and Janice were pretty much bored out of their minds, struggling to stay awake. Janice's head comfortably rested on Floyd's shoulder. Floyd then sighed and whispered "I'm gonna head over to that open bar. You wanna come?" "Fer sure," Janice whispered back. The two then carefully tiptoed out of their seats and balcony and into the open bar, without Miss Piggy watching them.
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It was still well into the 3 1/2 hour opera with what seemed to be no intermission whatsoever. Miss Piggy had her eyes glued to action on the stage for half of it now. With only 2 hours (or maybe it was 1 1/2), Miss Piggy finally heard a love song between the two lovers onstage. A moment she was dying for all night.
"Kermie," she whispered. "Hmmm?" Kermit replied. "A love song," Miss Piggy whispered romantically. The two lovers onstage were getting married......or something on the stage. Not totally reminiscent of the wedding she and Kermit had in their third movie, but it looked very similar. "This reminds moi of when we....got married," Miss Piggy said. "So much..."
Kermit's eyes widened when he heard the words "married." He didn't think he and Miss Piggy were really married....but he felt like he didn't want to fight with her about it anymore. He was just happy to be with Miss Piggy. Kermit was just happy to love her. "Piggy...." Kermit started. ".....I la...la....love you." Miss Piggy gasped excitingly. She always loved when Kermit told her he loved her. It was one of the best things in life that made her happy. "Je t'aime, mon cher," Miss Piggy replied. "What?" Kermit asked, wondering what Miss Piggy just said. "I love you, Kermit." Miss Piggy then kissed Kermit right on the lips, delicately and with passion. Kermit was surprised, but gave in and returned the favor. As soon as the song ended, the two released from their kiss.
The lights came up in the house of the opera house, concluding the first act. Miss Piggy raised her eyes in surprise. "Narrator, I thought you said there was no intermission to this opera," she complained. I said what "seemed" to be no intermission. I didn't say there was going to be one. Miss Piggy then turned around and noticed that Floyd and Janice had disappeared. She then turned back to......well the narrator. "Okay, where'd Liz and Dick go?!?!?!" Miss Piggy yelled out. Liz and Dick...Miss Piggy, they're dead. "FLOYD AND JANICE, YOU MORON!!!!!" Miss Piggy yelled out. Oh....them....
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Meanwhile at the open bar..........wait....they're not here. Hey, bartender! "Hmm?" the bartender wondered. Have you seen....."Oh, the guy who looks like George Harrison and his blonde, Mick Jagger-esque, girlfriend? Guy carries around a bass guitar and girl an electric guitar?" the bartender replied. "Yeah, they snagged my stash of Strawberry Thunders and headed onto the roof." What?
"WHAT!?!?!!?!" Miss Piggy yelled out in fury as she stormed onto the scene. "How long's the intermission?" "20 minutes," the bartender replied. "You'll get them down in time." "Good," Miss Piggy replied as she grabbed Kermit's arm. "Let's go, Kermie!" "Piggy, where are we going?" Kermit asked. "To the stars, where else?" Miss Piggy replied.
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The high rooftop of the opera house could rival even the Paris Opera House; with its beautiful stone decor, filled with angels, and a view of the night that was extremely breathtaking. Even on a chilly night like that night, it still gave an opportunity for the stars to glitter.
With their 20 or so bottles of Strawberry Thunder by their side, Floyd and Janice stayed close together in the chill of the lovely night. Floyd even took his jacket off and put it around his beloved Janice. "Floyd..." Janice started. "Like I can't remember now....what have we been like doing during the time Piggy and Kermit had their moment?" Floyd chuckled and checked his cell phone for the time. "10:00," he replied. "About an hour and a half left of that dumb opera. And what we've been doing the past two hours....well we had maybe 2 or 3 drinks of Strawberry Thunder and chatted at the open bar for about 30 minutes, then we made out in the bathroom for about an hour, then we stole 20 more bottles of Strawberry Thunder to take home, and then we grabbed our guitars from my car....and decided to head up here. And we've been up here for about a half hour now."
"Ohhhh," Janice replied as she laid her head on his shoulder. "May I ask like one little favor from you?" "Anything," Floyd replied. "Will you like......do one little duet with me? Like, just a quick one?" Janice asked. Floyd smiled sweetly and replied "Now how could I say no to that?" He then kissed Janice on the forehead and tuned his bass guitar quickly while Janice tuned her guitar. As soon as they were all tuned up, the two immediately started their little duet.
(Janice)
Stuck on you
I've got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can't lose
Guess I'm on my way
(Floyd)
Needed a friend
And the way I feel now I guess I'll be with you 'til the end
Guess I'm on my way
Mighty glad you stayed
The two then did a quick little instrumental guitar duet before jumping right back to singing.
(Janice)
I'm stuck on you
Been a fool too long I guess it's time for me to come on home
Guess I'm on my way
(Floyd)
So hard to see
That a woman like you could wait around for a man like me
Guess I'm on my way
(Both)
Mighty glad you stayed
The stars at night have never glittered so bright in their entirety. It just dazzled the two of them so much. When she had the opportunity, Janice quickly kissed Floyd on the cheek before going back to singing.
(Both)
Oh, I'm leaving on that midnight train tomorrow
(Janice)
And I know just where I'm going
(Both)
I've packed up my troubles and I've thrown them all away
(Floyd)
'Cause this time little darling
(Both)
I'm coming home to stay
(Floyd)
I'm stuck on you
I've got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can't lose
Guess I'm on my way
(Janice)
Needed a friend
(Both)
And the way I feel now I guess I'll be with you 'til the end
Guess I'm on my way
(Floyd)
I'm mighty glad you stayed
After finishing their song and setting aside their guitars, Floyd and Janice gazed into each other's eyes lovingly. "Thanks, Floyd," Janice said. "It rully means a lot to me....I....love you." "And I love you, too, baby doll." Janice then kissed Floyd on the lips, with such sweet passion that felt everlasting. Floyd returned her favor and kissed her back. There was never a moment so perfect that it couldn't be ruined......almost.
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"THERE YOU TWO ARE!" Miss Piggy yelled out as she stormed in on Floyd and Janice kissing. Floyd and Janice then released from their kiss once Miss Piggy's yell erupted. "What the...." Floyd noticed as Miss Piggy and Kermit came in. "Oh hey, Piggy. How's the opera? The chandelier come down yet?" Floyd chuckled. Miss Piggy then screamed out and said "YOU TWO LEFT US IN THE BALCONY!?!?! HOW COULD YOU!!!!!"
"Piggy, like you and Kermit were having a moment," Janice lied. "So...like we left so we wouldn't interrupt." Miss Piggy then calmed down a little after Janice said her comment. Janice was right. Miss Piggy didn't want Floyd and Janice interrupting her moment with Kermit just as much as Janice didn't want Miss Piggy and Kermit interrupting her moment with Floyd. It just made sense much more sense to Miss Piggy. "Oh," Miss Piggy said. "Well......moi could've thought that."
"See, Piggy," Kermit said. "Now everyone's happy they had a tender moment tonight. Something loving that we could all remember for a long time. Just like the song in the opera." Floyd groaned and replied "Please, no more opera talk. It messes up my groove." "C'mon, let's look on the bright side of things, Floyd," Kermit said. "At least Gonzo didn't unleash an army of killer lobsters."
"Hey guys!" a familiar voice called our from nearby. The four of them turned around and saw Gonzo and Camilla near the distance. "Gonzo, what are you doing in this oneshot?" Kermit asked. "I just want you guys to meet some friends of mine," Gonzo replied. "Hey, c'mon guys." All of a sudden, a bunch of killer lobsters came out. And they didn't look too happy. The four lovebirds gulped and huddled to their respective lovers tight. "You spoke too soon, my swampy friend," Floyd said to Kermit.
--------------------------------------------THE END-------------------------------------------------
Phew. Finally finished. This...story...took....forever. And distractions I had this morning didn't help, either. But, I'm glad I got this conjoint oneshot finished. And I hope all of you liked it (and found some of my references.
). I hope I can do another one soon! 
By the way, the song Floyd and Janice sing is "Stuck On You" by Lionel Richie
) By the way, I'm just gonna say this flat out: I'm NOT doing anymore of those....PG-13/second base/ sexy stories. I think I kinda pushed the envelope with that on the last oneshot I did. I apologize. On a brighter note: This oneshot is a conjoint oneshot with both KermitxMiss Piggy (-cue the Hallelujah-) and FloydxJanice! Enjoy!DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE MUPPETS!! They are owned by The Jim Henson Company, The Walt Disney Company and The Muppet Studios!
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"Rowlf! Turn it up!" Miss Piggy commanded to Rowlf as he turned up the nearby radio that was sitting on his piano for the past few hours. In what really Miss Piggy should've been doing was practicing her song for the upcoming show, she was too occupied with her radio to even rehearse. "Hey, uh, why are we listening to this radio again?" Rowlf asked. Miss Piggy laughed and replied "Oh, Rowlf, don't vous remember? Today's the day of that big radio contest. The winner gets tickets to that new opera everyone is talking about. And moi is determined to win those tickets for me and my Kermie." "Oh yeah, you and the frog," he said. "That figures as much. What's the opera? "Pigoletto?" " Rowlf then laughed, but Miss Piggy wasn't too pleased with his comment at all. "Oh, knock it off."
"Okay, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for this week's big radio contest!" the disc jockey over the radio announced. "Rowlf! Give me the phone!" Miss Piggy commanded as Rowlf rushed to get the nearby telephone for her. "And remember, this week's prize is tickets to that brand new opera everyone's talking about!" the disc jockey continued. "What is this new opera?" Rowlf asked. "Does it even have a name at all, Mr. Disc Jockey?" "Alright, the second person to call in to 555-MRADIO is the winner of the tickets! That's 555-MRADIO!"
Miss Piggy dialed the number right away and waited for the response. "Alright, congratulations! We have ourselves a winner!" the disc jockey announced over the radio and in Miss Piggy's phone. "And what is your name, caller number 2?" "Miss Piggy," she replied excitingly. "Alright, Miss Piggy, you just won tickets to the opera!" "Yes!" Miss Piggy exclaimed excitingly. "Merci bocoup, Mr. Disc Jockey." "Oh, but we're not done yet," the disc jockey said. "For tickets into the all exclusive balcony and a limo ride to the opera house, all you need to do is answer this ONE question!"
"Bring it, buster!" Miss Piggy demanded. "Okay!" the disc jockey replied. "You have 30 seconds to answer this question....." "Ha! This shouldn't be hard at all," Miss Piggy bragged. "Who is the composer of that famous opera Don Giovanni?" " the disc jockey asked. Miss Piggy froze on the spot. How she should SHE know how wrote Don Giovanni? "Uhh....uhhh...." she stumbled over the phone. Rowlf rolled his eyes; figuring he should help Miss Piggy out, even if he didn't really want to. "Mozart," he whispered to Miss Piggy. "MOZART!" Miss Piggy yelled over the phone. "That's it! That's the answer!" the disc jockey exclaimed. "Congratulations, Miss Piggy! You just won four tickets into the balcony seat of the opera house and a limo ride to the opera house!"
Miss Piggy then got really excited over winning, but stopped for a moment. "Four?" she asked over the phone. "I thought you only said two tickets?" "It was always four tickets," the disc jockey replied. "I guess someone wasn't paying attention." He then laughed not only over the phone but right on the radio, too. Furious, Miss Piggy replied "Oh yeah! Pay attention to this, buster!" She then slammed the phone down and threw the radio across the room. Rowlf, who just witness this fury from her, simply replied "The hog has officially gone wild."
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A little while later, Kermit met up with Miss Piggy at the cafe for their afternoon coffee date. Miss Piggy always loved their coffee dates. Come to think of it, she appreciated just about ANY date the two go on. "So how was vous day so far, Kermie?" she asked. "Pretty good," Kermit replied. "I finally got the Torpedo Sisters shark swallowing act onto next week's show. And plus, I promised Scooter to run the rehearsal for the show, so I have some free time on my hands for this weekend. And yours, Piggy?" "Kermie, I just won exclusive balcony tickets for vous and moi to that new opera everyone's talking about over the radio this morning!" Miss Piggy exclaimed excitingly. "That's great, Piggy," Kermit replied, feeling happy for her. "What is this new opera?" "I don't know," she replied. "But if everyone's talking about it, then we should see it." Kermit shrugged and replied "I guess. I haven't been to an opera in forever. So it's good that I'm coming along with you to this." "Awww, Kermie," Miss Piggy blushed and kissed Kermit's cheek. "Moi does have...one dilemma though."
"What's that?" Kermit asked. "And don't worry if it's about who's going to take care of Foo Foo while were gone. Scooter's promised that already." "Oh Scooter," Miss Piggy replied. "How he's so helpful around here. But anyways, moi kinda won four tickets to the opera." "Oh that's not a big deal, dear," he said, without a worry. "We'll get Gonzo and Camilla to come with us....." "Ah, but mon cher," Miss Piggy reminded. "Remember the LAST time we took Gonzo and Camilla with us on a double date?"
------------------------------------------Flashback----------------------------------------
Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo and Camilla are at a seafood restaurant. Gonzo has released the killer lobsters on the people in the restaurant. "Woo!" Gonzo yelled out. "Free the lobsters! Free the lobsters!" "Bgawk! (Freedom!)" Camilla clucked out as well. All of a sudden, Kermit is attacked by the one of the lobsters. "GET YOUR CLAWS OFF MY FROG, YOU FREAK!" Miss Piggy yelled out. "HIYAAAAA!" She then karate chopped the lobster off of Kermit. "Remind me, the next time we decide to go on a double date, we don't take Gonzo with us," Kermit then said and fainted.
--------------------------------------Flashback Over-----------------------------------------
Kermit then gulped and said "I guess you're right. I mean, it was a Lobster Eating Convention after all. I guess I didn't know that Gonzo and Camilla were pro-lobster." He and Miss Piggy then sighed in unison and tried to think. Who else could they bring with them to the opera that wasn't going to destroy the opera house, unleash an army of killer lobsters, or anything crazy like that? Miss Piggy's eyes then widened as she got an idea. Kermit's eyes followed suit and widened as well. "Floyd and Janice," the two then said together.
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"We ain't goin' to no opera!" Floyd protested as Kermit and Miss Piggy brought up the idea to him and Janice a little while later. "But, Floyd, we have no one else to bring," Kermit replied. "Like why not Gonzo and Camilla?" Janice suggested. Miss Piggy and Kermit shuttered in fear together and yelled out in unison "NO!" Janice then turned to Floyd, whom batted his eyes a few times and remembered "Oh yeah...yeah, the Killer Lobster thing. Hey, don't fret. That happened to us, too."
------------------------------------------Flashback------------------------------------------------
Floyd, Janice, Gonzo and Camilla are at the same seafood restaurant. Gonzo has broken the giant fish tank, causing the restaurant to flood and free the organic fish. "Free the fish! Free the fish! Free the fish!" Gonzo yelled out as he and Camilla were standing on top of one of the floating tables. Floyd and Janice's table that they were standing on, huddled together in fear, was sinking fast. "Sugar, I think we're goin' down," Floyd commented just before he and Janice hit underwater.
--------------------------------------Flashback Over---------------------------------------------
"It felt like the Titanic hit a new low that night," Floyd chuckled. "Fer sure," Janice added in and laughed with him. "But like rully we're not going to that opera." "Why not?" Miss Piggy asked. "Opera is definitely not our tune," Floyd replied as he tuned his bass guitar.
Miss Piggy then thought of something for a minute and then replied "Moi has been to this opera house before. And the exclusive balcony has an open bar." Floyd's widened as soon as he heard the words "open bar." "Open bar?" he asked. "They sell Strawberry Thunders?" "And Harper's Isles," Miss Piggy added in. Floyd and Janice then turned to each other and nodded in agreement. "Okay, you've convinced us," Floyd said.
"That's great!" Kermit said excitingly. "Piggy, what time does that opera start tomorrow night?" "8:00 sharp," Miss Piggy replied. "Operas always start on time...not like musicals where they start 5 minutes later." "Good," Floyd butted in. "And we can get out of there quicker. How long is this mess?" "Three and a half hours," Miss Piggy answered. Floyd and Janice then groaned together in dismay. "Jan and I are drivin' my own wheels there then," Floyd then said.
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The following night was the night to head to the opera. Floyd decided to stick around in Janice's apartment room to get ready. Under Miss Piggy's "threatening" request, Floyd had to wear his tuxedo to the opera, much to his dismay. Patiently plucking his acoustic guitar, Floyd called out "Jan, you almost ready?" "Like, I'll be done in a minute!" she called out from her bedroom. Floyd continued to pluck his guitar until Janice called out "Okay, like I'm ready."
Floyd's eyes then met Janice's as she came out of her bedroom. On her was a ravishing dark pink, sparkly, long sleeved, not too low cut, dress. Her beautiful blonde hair was down and had on her favorite pink barrette. Floyd's heart might of skipped a beat or two just staring at his beautiful girlfriend in a dress like that. He then set his acoustic guitar to the side and went over to her.
"No tuxedo tonight?" he teased. "Like Piggy insisted I wear a dress tonight," Janice replied. "She'd like kill me if I wore a tuxedo tonight." "You wore one for her wedding," Floyd reminded her. "Piggy took my other dress. There was rully nothing else," Janice playfully argued. Floyd then nodded and lead Janice over to her couch. "Don't worry 'bout it. Piggy made me wear my tuxedo tonight," he said as Janice helped get his rose corsage on. "Bummer," Janice said in agreement. "I rully liked you in that other suit you had. Here, you look like you're in one of those like James Bond movies." Floyd then batted his eyes and blushed lightly at her compliment. "How kind of you." he replied.
"Hey can you like help me get my necklace on?" Janice then asked. "The guitar one I gave you?" Floyd asked in wonder. "Fer sure," she replied and gave him the necklace. "Anything, darlin' " Floyd replied and carefully got her necklace on her neck, right where it belonged. He then lightly kissed the back of her neck after he got the necklace on, which gave Janice quite a surprise. "You tease," Janice said. Floyd chuckled and replied "It's what I do best, babe."
"Uh oh," Janice then said as she glanced at her wall clock. "Like it's 7:15! Floyd, we better like go!" "Alright," Floyd replied as he grabbed the keys to his convertible "Hop into the car and we'll take the shortcut." Janice then locked the door to her apartment room behind her and followed behind Floyd to his convertible parked outside the apartment. Floyd decided to keep the top down on such a lovely night (and because he was kinda in a hurry) and immediately drove off as soon as he and Janice were set.
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"Ugh! WHY ISN'T THIS TRAFFIC MOVING!?!?!" Miss Piggy yelled out. The impatient Miss Piggy and her Kermit were taking her prized limo down to the opera house....but they were stuck in traffic for more than 10 minutes now. Kermit then checked his watch. "7:45," he told Miss Piggy. "OH MY GOODNESS!!!!" Miss Piggy yelled out in worry. "I bet Floyd and Janice are already there, drinking their troubles away." "Well, traffic seems to be moving a little bit..." Kermit said as he looked out the window. The limo budged, but only by a bit. "Or not..."
"GAAAAAAAAAAH!" Miss Piggy yelled out. "That's it! Driver! Open the top!" The driver immediately opened the top of the limo, which gave Miss Piggy the opportunity to grab Kermit's hand and rush the two of them out of the limo. The two then leaped from car to car, finding their pathway to the opera house much quicker than the slow moving traffic. The only thing that worried Miss Piggy more than how she looked jumping from car to car, with her sparkly purple gown and thousand dollar white high heels on, was getting to the opera house on time.
The two then made it to the opera house in the nick of time as Floyd and Janice stood outside waiting for them. "Like what took you two so long?" Janice asked. "And what happened to that limo? Did you drive the driver to tears?" Floyd laughed. An exhausted Kermit panted wearily "Too....much....traffic....had to....jump..." "Kermie...."Miss Piggy panted herself. "It...wasn't....that bad...Let's....go inside, dear." Miss Piggy then took Kermit's shoulder and led him inside, Floyd and Janice following right behind them.
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The four got into their seats in the balcony right as the overture to the opera was playing. The overture sounded like a dramatic event, like someone was dying. "Ooooh, Kermie!" Miss Piggy exclaimed. "Just look at this gorgeous view! You see everything here!" Kermit nodded in agreement. He remembered being in the exclusive balcony of the opera house years before. It was at a perfect angle to where one can see the action on stage clearly. And it was also just feet from the ceiling, decorated so gracefully with its designs. The four then took their seats, but Floyd and Janice's seats were closer to the door, just so they could sneak out to the open bar.
As the first scene was opening up, in what looked like a funeral, Miss Piggy's head was on Kermit's shoulder as she sighed in amazement at the scene going on. "Oh, Kermie," Miss Piggy sighed. "Amour at a funeral....love at first sight." "Falling in love at a funeral?" Kermit whispered. "What kind of opera is this?" "Whoever wrote this is a genius," Miss Piggy happily replied. "*Whoever wrote this should be shot," ( *Note, please read here: *Took that line from "Muppets Tonight.") Kermit muttered under his breath.
Meanwhile, Kermit wasn't the only one who felt confused but a tad bored with this opera. Floyd and Janice were pretty much bored out of their minds, struggling to stay awake. Janice's head comfortably rested on Floyd's shoulder. Floyd then sighed and whispered "I'm gonna head over to that open bar. You wanna come?" "Fer sure," Janice whispered back. The two then carefully tiptoed out of their seats and balcony and into the open bar, without Miss Piggy watching them.
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It was still well into the 3 1/2 hour opera with what seemed to be no intermission whatsoever. Miss Piggy had her eyes glued to action on the stage for half of it now. With only 2 hours (or maybe it was 1 1/2), Miss Piggy finally heard a love song between the two lovers onstage. A moment she was dying for all night.
"Kermie," she whispered. "Hmmm?" Kermit replied. "A love song," Miss Piggy whispered romantically. The two lovers onstage were getting married......or something on the stage. Not totally reminiscent of the wedding she and Kermit had in their third movie, but it looked very similar. "This reminds moi of when we....got married," Miss Piggy said. "So much..."
Kermit's eyes widened when he heard the words "married." He didn't think he and Miss Piggy were really married....but he felt like he didn't want to fight with her about it anymore. He was just happy to be with Miss Piggy. Kermit was just happy to love her. "Piggy...." Kermit started. ".....I la...la....love you." Miss Piggy gasped excitingly. She always loved when Kermit told her he loved her. It was one of the best things in life that made her happy. "Je t'aime, mon cher," Miss Piggy replied. "What?" Kermit asked, wondering what Miss Piggy just said. "I love you, Kermit." Miss Piggy then kissed Kermit right on the lips, delicately and with passion. Kermit was surprised, but gave in and returned the favor. As soon as the song ended, the two released from their kiss.
The lights came up in the house of the opera house, concluding the first act. Miss Piggy raised her eyes in surprise. "Narrator, I thought you said there was no intermission to this opera," she complained. I said what "seemed" to be no intermission. I didn't say there was going to be one. Miss Piggy then turned around and noticed that Floyd and Janice had disappeared. She then turned back to......well the narrator. "Okay, where'd Liz and Dick go?!?!?!" Miss Piggy yelled out. Liz and Dick...Miss Piggy, they're dead. "FLOYD AND JANICE, YOU MORON!!!!!" Miss Piggy yelled out. Oh....them....
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Meanwhile at the open bar..........wait....they're not here. Hey, bartender! "Hmm?" the bartender wondered. Have you seen....."Oh, the guy who looks like George Harrison and his blonde, Mick Jagger-esque, girlfriend? Guy carries around a bass guitar and girl an electric guitar?" the bartender replied. "Yeah, they snagged my stash of Strawberry Thunders and headed onto the roof." What?
"WHAT!?!?!!?!" Miss Piggy yelled out in fury as she stormed onto the scene. "How long's the intermission?" "20 minutes," the bartender replied. "You'll get them down in time." "Good," Miss Piggy replied as she grabbed Kermit's arm. "Let's go, Kermie!" "Piggy, where are we going?" Kermit asked. "To the stars, where else?" Miss Piggy replied.
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The high rooftop of the opera house could rival even the Paris Opera House; with its beautiful stone decor, filled with angels, and a view of the night that was extremely breathtaking. Even on a chilly night like that night, it still gave an opportunity for the stars to glitter.
With their 20 or so bottles of Strawberry Thunder by their side, Floyd and Janice stayed close together in the chill of the lovely night. Floyd even took his jacket off and put it around his beloved Janice. "Floyd..." Janice started. "Like I can't remember now....what have we been like doing during the time Piggy and Kermit had their moment?" Floyd chuckled and checked his cell phone for the time. "10:00," he replied. "About an hour and a half left of that dumb opera. And what we've been doing the past two hours....well we had maybe 2 or 3 drinks of Strawberry Thunder and chatted at the open bar for about 30 minutes, then we made out in the bathroom for about an hour, then we stole 20 more bottles of Strawberry Thunder to take home, and then we grabbed our guitars from my car....and decided to head up here. And we've been up here for about a half hour now."
"Ohhhh," Janice replied as she laid her head on his shoulder. "May I ask like one little favor from you?" "Anything," Floyd replied. "Will you like......do one little duet with me? Like, just a quick one?" Janice asked. Floyd smiled sweetly and replied "Now how could I say no to that?" He then kissed Janice on the forehead and tuned his bass guitar quickly while Janice tuned her guitar. As soon as they were all tuned up, the two immediately started their little duet.
(Janice)
Stuck on you
I've got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can't lose
Guess I'm on my way
(Floyd)
Needed a friend
And the way I feel now I guess I'll be with you 'til the end
Guess I'm on my way
Mighty glad you stayed
The two then did a quick little instrumental guitar duet before jumping right back to singing.
(Janice)
I'm stuck on you
Been a fool too long I guess it's time for me to come on home
Guess I'm on my way
(Floyd)
So hard to see
That a woman like you could wait around for a man like me
Guess I'm on my way
(Both)
Mighty glad you stayed
The stars at night have never glittered so bright in their entirety. It just dazzled the two of them so much. When she had the opportunity, Janice quickly kissed Floyd on the cheek before going back to singing.
(Both)
Oh, I'm leaving on that midnight train tomorrow
(Janice)
And I know just where I'm going
(Both)
I've packed up my troubles and I've thrown them all away
(Floyd)
'Cause this time little darling
(Both)
I'm coming home to stay
(Floyd)
I'm stuck on you
I've got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can't lose
Guess I'm on my way
(Janice)
Needed a friend
(Both)
And the way I feel now I guess I'll be with you 'til the end
Guess I'm on my way
(Floyd)
I'm mighty glad you stayed
After finishing their song and setting aside their guitars, Floyd and Janice gazed into each other's eyes lovingly. "Thanks, Floyd," Janice said. "It rully means a lot to me....I....love you." "And I love you, too, baby doll." Janice then kissed Floyd on the lips, with such sweet passion that felt everlasting. Floyd returned her favor and kissed her back. There was never a moment so perfect that it couldn't be ruined......almost.
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"THERE YOU TWO ARE!" Miss Piggy yelled out as she stormed in on Floyd and Janice kissing. Floyd and Janice then released from their kiss once Miss Piggy's yell erupted. "What the...." Floyd noticed as Miss Piggy and Kermit came in. "Oh hey, Piggy. How's the opera? The chandelier come down yet?" Floyd chuckled. Miss Piggy then screamed out and said "YOU TWO LEFT US IN THE BALCONY!?!?! HOW COULD YOU!!!!!"
"Piggy, like you and Kermit were having a moment," Janice lied. "So...like we left so we wouldn't interrupt." Miss Piggy then calmed down a little after Janice said her comment. Janice was right. Miss Piggy didn't want Floyd and Janice interrupting her moment with Kermit just as much as Janice didn't want Miss Piggy and Kermit interrupting her moment with Floyd. It just made sense much more sense to Miss Piggy. "Oh," Miss Piggy said. "Well......moi could've thought that."
"See, Piggy," Kermit said. "Now everyone's happy they had a tender moment tonight. Something loving that we could all remember for a long time. Just like the song in the opera." Floyd groaned and replied "Please, no more opera talk. It messes up my groove." "C'mon, let's look on the bright side of things, Floyd," Kermit said. "At least Gonzo didn't unleash an army of killer lobsters."
"Hey guys!" a familiar voice called our from nearby. The four of them turned around and saw Gonzo and Camilla near the distance. "Gonzo, what are you doing in this oneshot?" Kermit asked. "I just want you guys to meet some friends of mine," Gonzo replied. "Hey, c'mon guys." All of a sudden, a bunch of killer lobsters came out. And they didn't look too happy. The four lovebirds gulped and huddled to their respective lovers tight. "You spoke too soon, my swampy friend," Floyd said to Kermit.
--------------------------------------------THE END-------------------------------------------------
Phew. Finally finished. This...story...took....forever. And distractions I had this morning didn't help, either. But, I'm glad I got this conjoint oneshot finished. And I hope all of you liked it (and found some of my references.
). I hope I can do another one soon! By the way, the song Floyd and Janice sing is "Stuck On You" by Lionel Richie
