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Ellie Ockert
March 27th, 2012
In the Autumn of 1970, I believe it was, I would go to West 81st Street and Broadway and wait outside 'The Sesame Street," studio to meet up with the performers after they all finished work. I had a thing for Bob McGrath, he was a nice guy, very helpful but gthat was about it. I took photos, pulled autographs etc. Sometimes I would go to The Museum of Natural History with my best friend Michael and then go to the studio to wait. One day while I was there with Michael, Caroll Spinney came out for lunch. We asked him if we could accompany him, and he said okay. After that he became friends with both of us.
I don't want to go into detail about ouyr friendship with Caroll, but the following 4 1/2 years were the best times for me. Michael and I were products of dysfunctional families. Caroll really went out of his way to help us both with different issues. He was the best.
Unfortunatly I ended up having a crush on him, and he had just met his wife Deborah, after a short time he hadn't much choice but to sever our friendship. It was one of the least memorable days of my life when that happened. Despite everything though he was a monumental person in my life.
At age 58 I just realized about 7 months ago a personal
goal for a future career and success.
Caroll had helped my friend Michael and myself to extremes of what a person could without affecting his personal life. He didn't have to do anything he did.
Caroll has had more than just career success. His marriage to Deborah is now in about its 38th year I believe. In this day ad age of a high divorce rate etc that s truly a fantastic success with the career he has made for himself plus all the awards he has won. There is no one in my book more deserving of this goal than he.
However, now (And Caroll I hope you are reading this) it is time for one final success in your life. You weren't meant to be a social worker, but you helped Michael, you helped me, and so many others it is time to maybe go in another direction. I feel you may have come to the threshold of puppetry in your life, or muppetry in your case here LOL. However, that is up to you. I just feel that now you have achieved all you can in that venue.
I wrote several letters to you as well as to the McGraths about what I am going to put here, but so far I am not sure how you really feel about what I am going to say here.
Maybe this next step is your final help goal, or goal other than being Big Bird/Oscar, or maybe both can meld. I just hope no one blocks me on what I am about to say here.
First of all I connected with two young adults who worked with you on Sesame Street: Jessica Yee, and Bryan Jung. Out of those two Bryan seems to be more apt to want to connect with you again. He jut achieved earning a certificate as a paralegal and his goal is to eventually study law and become a lawyer.
What does this have to do with me? I have earned an Associates Degree in Social Work. It has been years as I had personal issues blocking me from continuing, but all of that is clearing up and it is time for me to go back into school, just as a I feel it may be time for you to go into another venue as well.
I want to continue social work. I want to earn an MSW and go for my certification. I want to open a Drop In Center for abused teens aged 13 - 19. I hope it can be a non-clinical center. I want if it's possible to have these kids emancipated. Remember all the help you gave Michael and myself? Maybe you forgot one conversation after all it has been 38 years now, but for some reason I am remembering some of our conversations verbatim. You once told me you felt some teens should be emancipated. That is my goal.
I wan this center to be opened when the time comes, dedicated to you for all the help you gave me and Michael and other children as well. I know you didn't stop with Michael and myself and you helped others besides focusing on a career, Deborah, and your children. With everything going on for you now it is time.
The Center is going to be named"The Bird's Nest - A Safe Haven," every time I showed up at your door uninvited you let me in. You knew I didn't want to go home. You never preached, but you talked with me. Yes there were times no conversation at all, but you new something was horribly wrong at home for me. I felt you were my safe haven.
I made tons of mistakes with raising my own children. All the things I never wanted done to me, or that was done to me I did to my own to my regrets even though I swore up and down I would never do so. I guess in that way I failed as a parent. One learns from mistakes, and opening this center will somehow free me.
I feel I need your help, maybe approval. It will take a long time for me to do what I need to do, but with your help and approval it can happen faster.
Maybe Deborah could work at The Center also if she chooses too, with your approval.
I made so many mistakes with our friendship, breaking some boundaries and taking things for granted but I was not very mature coming from the background I did. I am still learning from errors. You were my mentor and I regret so much of the stuff I did and the loss of your friendship was one of the worse things to happen to me in my life as I look back now.
Let this be your final chapter, the legacy you leave to the world after leaving Sesame Street and having Matt Vogel take over for you if that is what is meant to happen.
This can be a new road for you, for me, for many children who need help and nurturing and healing from the people who are supposed to protect them. They need a better safety net than what is out there. I won't be able to help all of them, but I will do my best to help who I can.
I sent you information by Fed Ex, and don't know if you received the paperwork.
Maybe this may be my last effort to reach you. But if you feel this isn't something culpable for you and Deborah I will still make it happen it will just be harsder and take longer without you. I will still dedicae the center to you.
I guess that's it, and I hope you do read this.
You were more than a friend, or a father image. You were my mentor. I regret not following your advice. But it is time now to move on.
I will never forget you.
Ellie/1970/Eloise2012
In the Autumn of 1970, I believe it was, I would go to West 81st Street and Broadway and wait outside 'The Sesame Street," studio to meet up with the performers after they all finished work. I had a thing for Bob McGrath, he was a nice guy, very helpful but gthat was about it. I took photos, pulled autographs etc. Sometimes I would go to The Museum of Natural History with my best friend Michael and then go to the studio to wait. One day while I was there with Michael, Caroll Spinney came out for lunch. We asked him if we could accompany him, and he said okay. After that he became friends with both of us.
I don't want to go into detail about ouyr friendship with Caroll, but the following 4 1/2 years were the best times for me. Michael and I were products of dysfunctional families. Caroll really went out of his way to help us both with different issues. He was the best.
Unfortunatly I ended up having a crush on him, and he had just met his wife Deborah, after a short time he hadn't much choice but to sever our friendship. It was one of the least memorable days of my life when that happened. Despite everything though he was a monumental person in my life.
At age 58 I just realized about 7 months ago a personal
goal for a future career and success.
Caroll had helped my friend Michael and myself to extremes of what a person could without affecting his personal life. He didn't have to do anything he did.
Caroll has had more than just career success. His marriage to Deborah is now in about its 38th year I believe. In this day ad age of a high divorce rate etc that s truly a fantastic success with the career he has made for himself plus all the awards he has won. There is no one in my book more deserving of this goal than he.
However, now (And Caroll I hope you are reading this) it is time for one final success in your life. You weren't meant to be a social worker, but you helped Michael, you helped me, and so many others it is time to maybe go in another direction. I feel you may have come to the threshold of puppetry in your life, or muppetry in your case here LOL. However, that is up to you. I just feel that now you have achieved all you can in that venue.
I wrote several letters to you as well as to the McGraths about what I am going to put here, but so far I am not sure how you really feel about what I am going to say here.
Maybe this next step is your final help goal, or goal other than being Big Bird/Oscar, or maybe both can meld. I just hope no one blocks me on what I am about to say here.
First of all I connected with two young adults who worked with you on Sesame Street: Jessica Yee, and Bryan Jung. Out of those two Bryan seems to be more apt to want to connect with you again. He jut achieved earning a certificate as a paralegal and his goal is to eventually study law and become a lawyer.
What does this have to do with me? I have earned an Associates Degree in Social Work. It has been years as I had personal issues blocking me from continuing, but all of that is clearing up and it is time for me to go back into school, just as a I feel it may be time for you to go into another venue as well.
I want to continue social work. I want to earn an MSW and go for my certification. I want to open a Drop In Center for abused teens aged 13 - 19. I hope it can be a non-clinical center. I want if it's possible to have these kids emancipated. Remember all the help you gave Michael and myself? Maybe you forgot one conversation after all it has been 38 years now, but for some reason I am remembering some of our conversations verbatim. You once told me you felt some teens should be emancipated. That is my goal.
I wan this center to be opened when the time comes, dedicated to you for all the help you gave me and Michael and other children as well. I know you didn't stop with Michael and myself and you helped others besides focusing on a career, Deborah, and your children. With everything going on for you now it is time.
The Center is going to be named"The Bird's Nest - A Safe Haven," every time I showed up at your door uninvited you let me in. You knew I didn't want to go home. You never preached, but you talked with me. Yes there were times no conversation at all, but you new something was horribly wrong at home for me. I felt you were my safe haven.
I made tons of mistakes with raising my own children. All the things I never wanted done to me, or that was done to me I did to my own to my regrets even though I swore up and down I would never do so. I guess in that way I failed as a parent. One learns from mistakes, and opening this center will somehow free me.
I feel I need your help, maybe approval. It will take a long time for me to do what I need to do, but with your help and approval it can happen faster.
Maybe Deborah could work at The Center also if she chooses too, with your approval.
I made so many mistakes with our friendship, breaking some boundaries and taking things for granted but I was not very mature coming from the background I did. I am still learning from errors. You were my mentor and I regret so much of the stuff I did and the loss of your friendship was one of the worse things to happen to me in my life as I look back now.
Let this be your final chapter, the legacy you leave to the world after leaving Sesame Street and having Matt Vogel take over for you if that is what is meant to happen.
This can be a new road for you, for me, for many children who need help and nurturing and healing from the people who are supposed to protect them. They need a better safety net than what is out there. I won't be able to help all of them, but I will do my best to help who I can.
I sent you information by Fed Ex, and don't know if you received the paperwork.
Maybe this may be my last effort to reach you. But if you feel this isn't something culpable for you and Deborah I will still make it happen it will just be harsder and take longer without you. I will still dedicae the center to you.
I guess that's it, and I hope you do read this.
You were more than a friend, or a father image. You were my mentor. I regret not following your advice. But it is time now to move on.
I will never forget you.
Ellie/1970/Eloise2012