A talkative co-worker?

[Xerus]

There's this new girl in my office and she really talks a lot. I can hardly concentrate on my work because she always wants to talk. She keeps asking me questions about my personal life and criticizes me for how I live. She's driving me crazy. I don't want to hurt her feelings but does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a talkative co-worker?

 

[Nick22]

i dont work, but i'd tell my boss. i'd complain to the boss, and have him/her talk to the lady. i would end up bashing her face in if i had to go to school with her or something.

 

[RedPiggy]

you could always direct her to a fake myspace or something acct, where you complain throughout the entire thing about this psycho idiot who keeps harassing you and can't learn to keep her mouth shut.

But then, I'm in that kind of mood today LOL

But, yeah, talk to your supervisor/boss. Or make up asinine, ridiculous BS for her to chew on for your entertainment.

 

[frogboy4]

It sounds like she could be flirting with you. I don't mean that it's a romantic gesture. It could just be friendly flirting. It sounds to me that she wants to be liked and noticed. Here's how I would do it.

Compliment her on something like her hair or her shoes or the job she did on something recently. Something true, but that's not too personal or creepy. And then tell her that you need some quiet time to focus on your work.

That should do the trick. It's above-board, honest and gracious. You are giving her an affirmation that she seems to need while making it clear what you need. If this doesn't work, then it might require something more direct.

As for her criticisms of you, consider the source is someone with obvious shortcomings of her own. Peoples is peoples.

 

[mikebennidict]

There's this new girl in my office and she really talks a lot. I can hardly concentrate on my work because she always wants to talk. She keeps asking me questions about my personal life and criticizes me for how I live. She's driving me crazy. I don't want to hurt her feelings but does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a talkative co-worker?

Well to be honest with you you need to tell her to stop no matter how she might react and it's her problem if her feelings get hurt.

No company I'm sure wishes to hire somebody you talks a lot and might distract the other employees.

Also considering you claim she criticizes you, why are you concerned about hurting her feelings?

You shouldn't concern yourself about how she feels.

 

[frogboy4]

It is best to avoid that sort of conflict if possible. There's how things should be and there's the reality. It's always a good gesture to be gracious and direct first and then go ahead with formalities if that doesn't work. The reality is that there will still be a work relationship with this person in the future. Inflaming tension is not ideal if it can be avoided.

 

[mikebennidict]

True. But with the fact she's already criticizing him, to me it seems there's already a need for direct action.

 

[frogboy4]

True. But with the fact she's already criticizing him, to me it seems there's already a need for direct action.

You are right that such criticism should not happen. That's a red flag to me that the situation is delicate and probably needs a light touch. Honesty and kindness is a good first plan because it shows her and everyone in the office that all avenues had been explored before reporting the problem. Much of the time such critical people are the most sensitive. Either way, you're right that it does cross the line. The end result should be the priority. Every work place is different. Some have zero tolerance policies for such behavior while others really want problems sorted out independently.

 

[Xerus]

Thank you all for the advice. But I don't think this girl is flirting with me. Because she says she has a husband. She just seems to like to talk.

 

[frogboy4]

Thank you all for the advice. But I don't think this girl is flirting with me. Because she says she has a husband. She just seems to like to talk.

I mentioned the flirting likely wasn't romantic. There are different levels and motives for that sort of behavior. Perhaps there's some reason she wants your attention. Did she single in on you or is she like this with everybody?