When you need to rant...

LittleJerry92

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You know your life is pretty much predictable when an incredibly ****** day like this only means you’re not getting a good night’s sleep. 👍🏻 Already bad enough my neighbor’s immature little bratty son ruined it for me at one point.
 

cjd874

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I wrote this on Discord a few days ago, but I'm gonna put it here too.

"I'm going to start making plans to move out of my parents' house within the next year or so. The pandemic has shown me that I cannot be a caretaker for my parents (my older bro is much more suitable & willing to do it), and I want to have an independent career and lifestyle.
If I've learned anything from the pandemic, it's that I need to take steps towards my personal freedom and responsibility. So that means looking into my own car and apartment mainly.
This has actually been a long time in the making. Various events led up to this: my dad's health issues, the pandemic, and my parents' desire for things to just stay the same. Being more progressive, I refuse to let current circumstances dictate how I prepare for the rest of my life. Sure, some things are beyond my control but I CAN control what I do to set myself up for success. That means doing more cooking, driving, shopping for myself. (Laundry and cleaning are not a problem for me,) Learning more about personal finances. And maintaining my career as a music teacher. Hopefully I can resume doing live gigs soon too....so that I can give back to people who've missed out so much on live entertainment, and have that mutual exchange of joy and passion thru music."

Not sure if this is really a rant, but I just had to get this off my chest. And I plan to talk about this with my entire family when we visit my grandparents, aunt, & uncle in New York next week.
 

LittleJerry92

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Best of luck to you, man! Just take things one step at a time and don’t stress yourself out too much.
 

D'Snowth

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I'm my parents' caretaker too, so I know how frustrating it can be to basically not have a life of your own a lot of the time . . . I keep trying to remind myself that it's one of those "full circle" kind of things: they took care of me in my young age, so I'm taking care of them in their old age.

At least neither of them are completely or totally helpless, so I do have some freedom at times, like if I need to get out of the house for some me time, and the arrangement does allow me to continue to pursue my creative and artistic endeavors, albeit in some limited capacity (trying to do anything that requires a lot of voice or vocal work, for example, gets kind of awkward).

Then again, my parents are old enough to be my grandparents (and sometimes mistaken as such), so I guess this is just one of those things.
 

fuzzygobo

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I’m proud of you. There comes a time when you feel you want to leave the nest, and hats off to you.
This is what parents do. They raise you so you get to this point. They did their job. Now it’s time for you to shape your own destiny. Props to you.
 

cjd874

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Best of luck to you, man! Just take things one step at a time and don’t stress yourself out too much.
Thank you! I'll try not to freak out over it. As long as I find the support and keep motivated, that should be most important.

I'm my parents' caretaker too, so I know how frustrating it can be to basically not have a life of your own a lot of the time . . . I keep trying to remind myself that it's one of those "full circle" kind of things: they took care of me in my young age, so I'm taking care of them in their old age.

At least neither of them are completely or totally helpless, so I do have some freedom at times, like if I need to get out of the house for some me time, and the arrangement does allow me to continue to pursue my creative and artistic endeavors, albeit in some limited capacity (trying to do anything that requires a lot of voice or vocal work, for example, gets kind of awkward).
I totally understand! My brother literally does not have any desire to be social or do any travelling. He is perfectly content with doing his job and then coming home, day in and day out. I've become more of the opposite where I want to see more of what my community (and eventually other countries) has to offer. I'm more of the "people person," if you will.
So if that's what he wants to do, that's fine...no judgment! I'll just focus on what I want to do, which is become independent. I also think that I could care for them from a distance and on a non-daily basis, like visiting them on weekends and such. Just being there physically and dealing with my parents' BS is irking me more and more.
 

LittleJerry92

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At least you’re being honest that you were ready to move out.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t ready to move out at 27 because I was still in the process of figuring out my life, and I was basically forced to find my own place because my folks moved to North Carolina. I’m by no means someone who’s afraid of growing up, but what frustrates me is just how this all felt rushed on my part just cause my parents wanted to get out of the cold. And I don’t feel like living in North Carolina where I’m just going to feel completely lonely.

That said, I’m just trying my best to learn about having to start paying for my own stuff. But again, I do feel like I could have been given at least another 3-4 years before officially moving. But eh 🤷🏿‍♂️
 

D'Snowth

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I kind of go both ways, if I'm being perfectly honest . . . despite my family being affluent at the time I was born, a white collar recession a few weeks after I was born resulted us being blue collar/working class for pretty much the entirety of my life - we rarely could afford to do anything extravagant like travel, go on vacations (I've literally only ever been out of my state twice in my entire life), so it's like in a sense, I am very much a homebody. . . .

But on the flip side, I'm not at all immune to cabin fever, and sometimes I just got to get out the house for a little while - even if it's to just drive way out into the country just for a change of scenery and pace . . . heck, last summer I drove twenty miles out into the country just to film fifteen seconds' worth of footage of Steve D'Monster at the foothills of a mountain, lol.

It's kind of funny, because I didn't used to like driving at all, but now I find I can actually tolerate it a lot more than I used to . . . mainly if it's low traffic areas; driving on major roads like interstates and some highways can get a little harrowing - especially when Tennessee drivers love going twenty to even thirty miles over the speed limit.

But you know what's funny? George Costanza actually predicted the future! He said one day living with your parents could become a cool thing . . . well, apparently ours is the generation that lives with its parents.
 

cjd874

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At least you’re being honest that you were ready to move out.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t ready to move out at 27 because I was still in the process of figuring out my life, and I was basically forced to find my own place because my folks moved to North Carolina. I’m by no means someone who’s afraid of growing up, but what frustrates me is just how this all felt rushed on my part just cause my parents wanted to get out of the cold. And I don’t feel like living in North Carolina where I’m just going to feel completely lonely.

That said, I’m just trying my best to learn about having to start paying for my own stuff. But again, I do feel like I could have been given at least another 3-4 years before officially moving. But eh 🤷🏿‍♂️
Well, I'm not ready just yet. I'm ready to start PLANNING for it! I don't exactly know if I have enough money to buy myself a car AND an apartment. I've only scratched the surface since the beginning of this year. But I will discuss this next week with my entire family (grandparents, aunt & uncle included) and hopefully get the support I need. If things go smoothly I may be fully independent by the time I'm 28. Which is good enough for me. I am thankful for everything that my parents did to support me, and now I want to honor them by sustaining and supporting myself.
 
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