Muppet High Revisited

[theprawncracker]

Ok, tonight, in honor of my b-day, I did something for my readers, I began re-writing "Muppet High." Why you ask? Well, it's simple, Muppet High was a script, and it should be in book form. So, I changed it. I'll be posting in six chapter incraments, so expect the next six tomorrow. Enjoy!!!​

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Chapter 1

The two glass doors swung open. A teenage frog walked in to the Grosse High School. He wore a red baseball cap, and a striped blue t-shirt.

"Well here I am. This is the first time I’ve gone to a new school before." He said. "Let alone in the middle of the year."

A large rat walked up to the frog. "Hey kid," he asked. "You wanna buy an elevator pass?"

"No thanks." The frog said as he walked away.

He walked down the crowded halls and pulled out a small scrap of paper. "Ok, room 81A. This is my home room." He gulped. "Here goes." He pushed open the door and walked into the classroom.

He was courteously greeted with a paper airplane to the head as soon as he walked in. "Ow!" The frog rubbed his head.

A blue feathery creature with a long nose ran up to him. "Woops! I’m sorry kid! Are you ok?" He said, picking up the airplane and putting it in the pocket protector of his forest green sweater vest.

"No, I’m fine." The frog said studying the thing. "But why did you throw the airplane at me anyway?"

"I thought you were the teacher. I was trying to be cool. The other kids think I’m kinda weird."

"Well, I don’t think you’re weird." The frog said. "Well, not yet at least." He patted him on the back. "So what’s your name anyway?"

"I’m Gonzo! Hopefully someday I’ll become The Great Gonzo, plumbing artiste! Who are you?" He asked cheerfully.

"I’m Kermit," he said. "Kermit the Frog. I just moved here from the swamp."

"Nice to meet you Kermit." Gonzo shook his hand. "Here, there’s an extra desk by mine!" Gonzo sat down at his desk and patted the other one for Kermit to sit in.

Kermit sat down. "I just hope it doesn’t bother you that I grew half of my mold collection there." Gonzo told him.

"You what?" Kermit asked.

Just then, the door slammed open. A tall blue eagle walked through the door carrying books. "Settle down, settle down." He yelled. "Good morning class my name is Professor Sam, I teach History here at our high school. And the only reason I’m telling you this is because I noticed we have a new student, son would you care to introduce yourself?"

Kermit looked around. "Oh! You mean me!" He stood up and walked to the front of the class. "Um...hi. I’m Kermit the Frog. I just moved here from the swamp, and I..."

A bear wearing a beanie cap and a pink polka dotted t-shirt raised his hand. Kermit looked at Professor Sam. He sighed. "Yes Mr. Bear, what is it?"

"Ah! Thank you!" The bear said. "This reminds me of a hilarious joke! So, a frog walks into a bank and..." He began.

"We have heard it before Mr. Bear!" Professor Sam interjected.

"Yeah! And it wasn’t any good the first time!" A female pig yelled from her seat. Her long golden blond hair was back in a ponytail.

The class erupted with laughter. "Alright! Alright! Quiet down!" Sam bellowed. "You may take your seat Mr. the Frog." Kermit did as he was told, and sat in his desk next to Gonzo. "Now, back to class, the French Revolution was... wait just one minute!" He read over the book once more. "What is this? We don’t need to learn about the French and their revolution! We need to learn about the wonderful revolution that was America!" He bellowed.

"Here we go again." Gonzo whispered to Kermit.

Chapter 2​

Gonzo and Kermit walked down the crowded hallway to the cafeteria. "Come on Kermit hurry! We don’t wanna be late for lunch!" Gonzo told him.

"Boy Gonzo," Kermit panted. "I’m glad you know where you’re going, ‘cause I sure don’t."

They pushed open the doors and entered the crowded cafeteria. Talking flooded the room. And so did people. "Come on, let’s get in line! Today’s Thursday surprise day!" Gonzo pulled Kermit into the line.

"Thursday surprise? What’s in it?" Kermit picked up a tray.

"That’s the surprise!" Gonzo laughed. "It’s the Chef’s speciality.

"Oh good." Kermit said cheerfully. "Because I don’t have anything else to eat."

They approached the front of the line and saw a chef tossing food in the air. "Hmm dee dum dee dee. Dum dee dum dee do! Hum dum dee, flum dum dee.
Hm, bork bork bork!" He sang.

"Hiya Chef!" Gonzo called.

"Urcombe Gon-de-vuird! You don, flerden ferly?" The Chef asked.

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Oh I’m fine Chef!" Gonzo said. "And this is my new friend Kermit!"

"Hello." Kermit said.

"He gone dee flipper floo! Thoorsday speciool! Surpoon?" The Chef asked.

"What did he say?" Kermit whispered to Gonzo.

"I think he asked you if you’d like some Thursday surprise." Gonzo explained.

"Um..." Kermit said. "Sure I guess."

"A double order for me thanks!" Gonzo said.

The Chef took their trays and scooped a pile of bubbling green goo onto it. "Spurgon slop-de-mousky! Globble uppdevoooi!" He waved.

"Thanks Chef! See you tomorrow!" Gonzo said.

Kermit looked at his food in disgust. He scrunched up his face and followed Gonzo to an empty table.

"Is this stuff edible?" Kermit asked. He turned his tray upside down, and the goo didn’t move.

Gonzo stopped eating and swallowed. "It depends on your sense of adventure! Ha ha!" He went back to his food.

Kermit pushed his tray towards Gonzo. "I think I’ll bring my own lunch tomorrow." He said in disgust.

Just then, the joke telling bear from History class sat down at the table. "Hi guys! Mind if I join you?" He asked.

"No not at all Fozzie." Gonzo told the bear.

"Ah! Thank you!" Fozzie said. "So, are you guys taking anyone to the big dance next Friday?" Fozzie asked.

"Dance?" Kermit asked. "What dance?"

Gonzo finished his tray and was working on Kermit’s. "The big senior dance! It’s the biggest event of the year!" Gonzo exclaimed. "Even nerds like us go!"

"So, Gonzo, are you taking anyone?" Fozzie asked.

"Oh yeah! I met this really great girl named Camilla!" Gonzo said. "She’s a fox!"

"What about you Fozzie?" Kermit asked the bear.

"Oh! I’m taking my mommy!" He said cheerfully. "What about you Kermit? Any special girl you want to ask?"

"Well, I’ve only been here for four class periods, it’s not like I’ve had the chance to..." Kermit stopped, he was interrupted by the pig cheerleader from this morning who walked in behind Kermit.

"Hello losers." She gloated. "I see you have a new member in your group. Well, why don’t vous turn around? That way, moi will be able to see the face she will be mocking for the rest of the year."

"Sheesh." Kermit sighed. He turned around in his seat slowly.
The pig was over come with emotion. "You...your...I’m..." She stuttered.

"Yo Piggy you comin’ or what?" A purple creature with long hair and sunglasses asked. He was wearing a letterman jacket.

He was followed by a male and female pig, wearing a letterman jacket, and cheerleading outfit respectively. "Yeah let’s get goin’!" The female pig yelled. "Cliffy’s tired of waiting!"

"Yes and so is Link." The male pig referred to himself.

"Yeah man, ditch those losers and let’s go." Clifford said.

"Oh! Oh! Coming!" She turned to Kermit. "So long, short, green, and handsome." She giggled and ran off.

"Gosh!" Kermit said. "She’s beautiful!"

"Who? Annie Sue?" Fozzie asked.

"No Fozzie! Piggy!" Kermit snapped.

"Oh!" Fozzie nodded.

A rat wearing a red baseball cap and white tank top came up from under the table. "The pig? Dig you?" He laughed. "C’mon! She’s totally out of your league!"

"Do I know you?" Kermit asked the rat.

The rat was followed by a shrimp who came up behind him. "Don’t be such an optimist Ritzo." He turned to Kermit. "Dat was sarcasm. Hokay?" He turned back to the rat. "I mean, I am sure dat dis green froggy man can date de pig if he really wants to. Hokay? But, who would want to?"

"Do I know you either?" Kermit asked the shrimp.

"Sadly, no." The shrimp sighed. "But I will tell jew. Hokay? Because dat is what I am here for. Jew see, dat es Ritzo. Sleeze ball with an empty stomach. Hokay?"

"Yo!" The rat waved. He walked over to Gonzo. "Hey uh, you gonna finish dat?"

"Si, and I am Pepe, foreign exchange student from Mexico. Hokay?" The shrimp nodded. "Oh! And did I mention, dat I am so gosh darn sexy dat sometimes it hurts me. Hokay? What? It does."

"What are you doing here?" Kermit asked.

"Well, I was hungry." Rizzo said. "So, I was makin’ my usual rounds when I saw Piggy stop here and talk to Gonzo and Fozzie. I thought she’d t’row some food at ‘em like she usually does, and I’d pick up the scraps!"

"Si, and I followed him, because he promised me lots of moneys for every foods I find him. Hokay?" Pepe explained.

"Ok..." Kermit said.

"Si, but as I was saying, jew can’t let go off de lady pig. Hokay?" Pepe said. "Jew two would make such a cute couple." He laughed.

"Whatever." Rizzo climbed off the table. "C’mon shrimp. We’ve got work to do."

"I am not a shrimp!" Pepe yelled. "I am a King Prawn!" They walked away.

"You know what?" Fozzie asked. "I think that shrimp is right! You can’t give up Kermit!"

"Yeah!" Gonzo agreed. "And we’re here to help whenever you need us!"

"Thanks guys." Kermit said. "And mark my words, I will get Piggy to go to the dance with me!"

Gonzo pulled out a pen. "Oh where’d those words go? I need to mark them!" He cried.

Chapter 3​

Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie walked down the empty hallway. "Man, math class was hard!" Gonzo whined. "I mean, I can calibrate the amount of time it takes to jump three cement trucks on water skis, but I just can’t figure out fractions!"

"You’re telling me!" Kermit agreed.

"Well Gonzo, I told you." Fozzie told him.

"Told me what?"

"I told you that you should have taken biology instead." Fozzie explained.

"Don’t they dissect things in there?" Gonzo asked.

"Yeah! Worms, fish, fro-" Fozzie started.

"Can we change the subject please?!" Kermit interrupted.

"Yeah," Gonzo agreed. "So Kermit, what are you doing after school?

"I’m taking band after school." Kermit explained. "You guys ever take band?"

"No," Gonzo said. "Apparently, the electric triangle isn’t a ‘real’ instrument."

"Yeah," Fozzie nodded. "And they wouldn’t let me tell any jokes!"

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Good grief." Kermit shook his head. "Well anyway, here’s the band room. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!" Kermit walked into the band room.

The sound of loud rock music filled the air. A dog wearing a white shirt, and a purple vest noticed Kermit come in. "Hey, stop the music, somebody’s here!" The dog shouted to the musicians.

In front of the dog sat a kid with a huge grin (complete with braces and a gold tooth) on the keyboard, another guy with a slight orange mustache growing on bass guitar, one who was asleep on his saxophone, a girl with her blonde hair in a ponytail with lead guitar, and finally, a rabid looking animal with a head full of pink hair on drums.

"Hey man, ain’t you the new kid?" The bass guitar player asked.

"NEW KID! NEW KID!" The animal chanted.

"Hey guys lay off." The dog said. "You must be Kermit," he extended his
hand. "I’m Rowlf, Rowlf the Dog." Kermit shook his hand. "I’m the band teacher here."

"So where’s the rest of the kids?" Kermit asked.

"Like we are the rest of the class." The girl said.

"Yeah man, I’m Floyd Pepper, I blow base!" The bass guitarist said.

"Like fer sure, and I’m Janice on lead guitar!" The girl said.

"And I’m Dr. Teeth, keyboard, and leader. Heh heh." The keyboard player laughed.

"Well what’s your PHD in?" Kermit asked.

"Hmm, never thought about that." Dr. Teeth scratched his chin. "I suppose it’s in ivory ticklin’." He laughed.

"And who’s that?" Kermit asked, referring to the drummer.

"Man, that’s Animal." Floyd said.

"Where’s he from?" Kermit asked.

"Man we don’t know!" Floyd said.

"Like, I don’t think we want to." Janice said.

"International! Ha ha ha!" Animal laughed.

"And that’s Zoot, sax is his axe!" Dr. Teeth gestured to the saxophone player.

"I’m uh...yeah." Zoot woke up for a minute then fell back asleep.

"And we is, am, are and be they who am are known as, The Electric Mayhem." Floyd laughed.

"Yep, and that about wraps it up for us here in band." Rowlf said. "So Kermit, what instrument do you play?"

"Well, I’ve dabbled in the banjo a little."

"That’s great!" Rowlf said. "Here, take this home and practice it." He handed Kermit some sheet music.

"Rainbow Connection?" Kermit read over the music. "Did you write this?" Kermit asked Rowlf.

"Oh no, I’m no good at that." Rowlf said. "That was written by my old friend Paul. He wrote it to be played on the banjo."

"Oh good." Kermit smiled.

Chapter 4​

Kermit Gonzo and Fozzie walked out of the cafeteria into the empty hallway.

"Sheesh Gonzo, how could you eat all three of our Friday surprises?" Kermit asked, disgusted.

"How could you guys not eat any?" Gonzo exclaimed.

Kermit shook his head. "So we have science next right?" He asked.

"Yep, but I need to stop at my locker first." Gonzo said opening a locker.
"Why?" Fozzie asked dodging the things Gonzo threw out of the locker.
He searched some more. "I have to show Dr. Honeydew my mold collection!"

"Well hurry up would ya?" Kermit asked. "We’re gonna be late for class."

"Yeah, and you know what happens if you’re late," Fozzie’s body shook.
"They’ll send the-the-the hall monitor!" Fozzie gasped.

"The hall monitor?" Kermit asked.

"Yeah!" Gonzo said. "He’s supposed to be ferocious!" He laughed.

"Uh huh," Fozzie agreed, "and he has fangs and claws and everything." He whimpered. "I even heard that he ate someone’s soul!"

"Cool huh?" Gonzo asked. "Let’s be late! It’ll be awesome to see him!"
"But he’ll tear us to shreds!" Fozzie moaned.

"Won’t it be great?!" Gonzo said, finally pulling out a petri dish with his mold collection in it. "And besides, we’re already late."

"But I didn’t hear the-" Kermit began, but he was cut off by the ringing of a bell. "Sheesh."

"Here he comes!" Gonzo laughed.

A figure emerged from the shadows behind the stairs. "Do you have your hall passes?" It asked in a deep voice.

"No," Gonzo said blankly. "But could you move into the light a little, I want to see your gruesomeness!"

"Gruesome?" The figure asked. "Oh no," he stepped into the light, revealing a yellow person with glasses and orange hair. "That was the old hall monitor. I’m Scooter, the new one."

"You’re not gruesome at all!" Gonzo said.

"Thank you." Scooter said.

"Well, why were you hiding in the shadows like that?" Kermit asked.

"Oh that?" Scooter asked. "I just didn’t wanna get hit by anything flying out of his locker." Scooter pointed to Gonzo. "So do you guys have your passes?"
"No, we don’t. But we-" Kermit began, but Fozzie cut him off.

"Oh please Mr. Hall monitor sir, don’t eat our souls!" Fozzie begged. "You see Gonzo here, he needed his mold collection to show to Dr. Honeydew! Oh, don’t kill us! Ple-he-he-he-hease!" He whined.

"Eat our souls?" Kermit asked.

"Kill us!" Gonzo cheered.

"Dr. Honeydew?" Scooter asked. "Well, if you’re headed to his class next, hurry up, he won’t give you a tardy if you hurry!"

Fozzie stood up. "You mean you’re not even going to give us a tardy?"

"Well not if ya hurry I’m not, and I don’t think anyone else will either!" Scooter said.

"Well gee thanks Scooter." Kermit said. "Why don’t you come eat lunch with us tomorrow?"

"Me? Eat lunch with you?" Scooter asked shocked. "You mean you don’t think I’m a dork?"

"No way!" Fozzie said.

"Well no more than us anyway..." Gonzo said under his breath.

"Well alright then!" Scooter said overjoyed. "I’ll see you guys tomorrow!" He said.

Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo ran to the science classroom.

"Alright guys keep it down, maybe he won’t notice us come in." Kermit said as they opened the door.

A man wearing glasses and a lab coat stood at the front of the class. "And now class, Beaker will demonstrate the dangers of sticking a paperclip into an electric socket! Beaker?" The man called upon a student with bright orange hair and a tall head.

"Me?" The student said.

Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie peered through the door. "Yes of course you now come on!" The teacher said.

The student called Beaker walked to the front of the classroom. "Mee mo mee?" He asked.

"This," the teacher said, handing him a paperclip. "Just stick it into the socket there."

"Mo mo!" He disagreed.

"I’ll give you extra credit." The teacher taunted.

"Mee mo mee me?!" Beaker exclaimed. "Me mo!" He stuck the paperclip into the socket and a volt of electricity was sent through his body. "MEEEEEEEE MEEE MEEE MEEE!!!" He wailed.

"And that class," the teacher said. "Is why we don’t stick paperclips into electrical sockets. Right Beaker?" He asked the fainted student. "Beaker?"
"No fair I wanna try!" Gonzo said. The teacher looked at him. "Oops. Ha ha."
"Well, it appears that you three are late to class." The teacher said. "Well, if today was yesterday, I wouldn’t give you a detention for being late, but since today can’t be yesterday since today is today and yesterday was yesterday, I will have to give you all detention." He sighed.

Fozzie fainted. "But Dr. Honeydew we had a good reason to be late!" Gonzo told him.

"Oh really?" Dr. Honeydew said. "And what might that be?"

"I had to get my mold collection from my locker!" Gonzo showed him the petri dish.

Dr. Honeydew examined it. "Oh yes, that’s a very good reason indeed!" He nodded. "But sadly, I must still give you detentions. If I don’t, the principals will have my head."

"But Dr. Honeydew, I was supposed to play with the band at the football game tonight!" Kermit said.


The Electric Mayhem is marched along the track. Dr. Teeth rolled a keyboard, and the others carried their instruments.

"Why can’t I teach a normal band class?" Rowlf sighed.


"Well, you’ll just have to miss it Mr. the Frog. I am sorry. Now, take your seats as I show how to treat third degree burns!" Dr. Honeydew said. "Ready Beaker?" He looked at Beaker again. "What is wrong with you today Beaker?" He asked. "Do you need to visit the nurse?"

Chapter 5

The bell rang, and Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie ran out of their classroom down the hall. "Comeon guys!" Kermit called. "We were late for class, let’s not be late for detention too!"

"We’re coming," Fozzie whined.

"Hey wait up! My shoe’s tied," Gonzo yelled.

"But shouldn’t your shoe be tie-" Kermit said. But he bumped into a brown furry man. The man was mopping the floor.

"Oh excuse me," the man said. "Are you ok?" He offered his hand to help Kermit up.

"Oh yeah I’m fine," Kermit grabbed his hand and stood up. "It was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention."

"Oh," the man scratched his head. "Ri-ght. Well, I’m Beauregard. I’m the janitor."

"Well we really can’t talk right now Beauregard, we have to get to detention." Fozzie began to walk away.

"Detention?" Beauregard asked. "Oh! You mean," he looked around. "The class of no return!" He whispered.

"Cool!" Gonzo exclaimed.

"No return?" Fozzie whimpered.

"Well Beauregard we really should get going." Kermit said, starting to leave.
"Oh, my friends call me Beau. If I had any friends." He sighed.

Kermit stopped. He turned and looked at the janitor. "You mean," he started. "You don’t have any friends? At all?"

"No, not really." Beauregard said. "But, that’s what Moppet’s for." He rubbed his mop. "Well see you." He returned to mopping.

"Well," Fozzie stood up straight. "We’ll be your friends!"

"You will?" Beauregard asked.

"We will?" Gonzo said shocked.

"We will!" Kermit declared.

"Great!" Beau said. "And if you ever need anything janitor related, you just look me up!" He said. "Or down if I’m down stairs."

"Oh good." Kermit said. "Well Beau, we’ll see you later."

"Bye bye." He waved. "Friends."

The gang ran the rest of the way to the detention classroom. They stopped in front of the door.

"Ready guys?" Kermit asked.

"No," Fozzie moaned.

"Ok! Let’s go!" Gonzo disregarded Fozzie and pushed the door open. They walked into a dull gray classroom. It was completely empty, aside from the teacher’s desk and the student’s desks.

"What? Where is everyone?" Kermit asked.

"Wow, I can’t say this isn’t disappointing..." Gonzo sighed.

"Hey, this isn’t as bad as I thought it would be." Fozzie said.

Another bell rang, and instantly the gang was trampled by a group of students, including penguins, pirates, Rizzo, and Pepe. "Hey Ritzo look here," Pepe said. "It’s de froggy, de weirdo, and de bear. Hokay?"

"Hey what are youse guys doin’ here?" Rizzo asked.

The gang stood up and brushed themselves off. "We got detention from Dr. Honeydew for being late for class."

"That’s all?" Rizzo asked.

"Yeah why?" Gonzo asked. "What did you do?"

"Well, jou see, Ritzo snuck into de cafeteria after it closed," Pepe said. "And I got caught peeping in de girls locker room. Hokay?"

"That’s horrible!" Fozzie said.

"Si, si, I know." Pepe sighed. "I mean, Rizzo just ate, but no, he needed more food. Der’s no controlling him. Hokay?"

An old man with glasses and a mustache walked in. "Alright sit down! Sit down!" He yelled.

The students sat down and was quiet. Kermit looked around, confused. "Are you the principal?" Kermit asked.

"Oh no, not me." The man said. "I’m Pops, the secretary." He told them. "Now, you youngins got detention! That means no talking, no drawing, no nothing got it?" He asked. "Until 4:30."

"He he, watch dis. Hokay?" Pepe whispered to Kermit.

Pops sat down behind the desk, and instantly fell asleep.

"Alright, he’s out! Now we can party! Ha ha ha!" Rizzo laughed.

One of the pirates pulled a boom box from under his desk. He pressed the play button.

All the students began to dance and party. A beach ball was hit around the room.

"What the hey?" Kermit said.

"Wha ha ha ha!" Gonzo laughed. "This is awesome!" Gonzo began to dance.
"Come on Kermin," Pepe danced towards him. "I’m a sexy king prawn! Dance with me. Hokay?"

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Fozzie?"

"Ah! Come on Kermit! It’s fun!" Fozzie said as he limboed under a pole.

"How low can you go?" The kids chanted.

"Aw, what the hey?" Kermit said, as he began to dance too.​

Chapter 6
​

Kermit walked down the hallway whistling a tune. "Oh boy!" He said. "I cant’ wait to show Rowlf how much I’ve practiced his song!" He hummed while he rummaged through his locker. He looked at his schedule. "Hmm, oh right, gym next." He grabbed a spare set of clothes and shut his locker.

He began walking down the hallway when he accidentally bumped into Piggy, making her drop all of her books. "Hey watch it!" She grunted.

Kermit picked up her books. "I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you."

Piggy looked up. "Oh! Hello there um...what was your name again?" She
asked.

"I’m Kermit, Kermit the Frog. We have social studies together." He reminded her.

"Oh right!" She remembered. "So, short, green, and handsome, where were vous off to in such a hurry? Hmm?" She asked.

"I was uh-just uh-going to gym class. But, I’m glad I ran into you Piggy!" Kermit said. "I needed to ask you something. I was wondering if..."

"Yo pig let’s go!" Clifford interrupted as he Annie Sue and Link entered.

"Oh! Sorry Kermie we’ll talk later. Bye!" She ran off with the others.

"But I..." Kermit sighed. "Sheesh."

"Hey kid, it looks like your bacon just ran out!" An old voice said.

"Yeah, and the ham too!" Another said.

"Do ho ho ho!" They both laughed.

Kermit turned around, he looked at two old men in suits. "Who are you?" He asked.

"I’m Statler," the taller one said.

"And I’m Waldorf," the shorter one said.

"And we are," they began to sing.

"The most dreadful, horrible,
Repulsive, people in the school!
We don't like the kids we're surrounded by!
That's why we make them eat gruel!" They both sang.

"We are,
The worst example of human beings that you will ever meet.
No matter where you are!
From Fraggle Rock to Sesame Street!
We're the Principals!"

"Yeah, except you can take out ‘pals’ at the end!" The short one said.

"Do ho ho ho!"
"We're old!
And iritable!
We're cold!
And never cheerful!
We are the Principals!"

Kermit stared at them. "Singing principals," he said. "What will they think off next?"

"Now," Statler snapped. "Don’t you have somewhere to be?"

"Well, yeah, gym class." Kermit said.

"Then get moving shorty before we give you detention!" Waldorf yelled.

"Yes sirs!" Kermit ran off.

"Do ho ho!" They laughed.
​

​

 

[TogetherAgain]

Ooh! Cool! Wow! Very ooh cool wow! Oh, dear goodness, make sense that does not... ANYWAY! Definately don't have time to read all that you have posted tonight, definately got through chapters one and two, definately noticed some minor changes in some of the lines, definately love every inch of it, definately wish I had time to keep reading, definately looking forward to reading more!!!!! ...Definately need to find another word to start phrases with...

 

[theprawncracker]

Heh, well Lisa, read the rest when you can. You're not the only one who isn't keeping up on my fics. *cough* Beau in "We Know That It's Probably Magic." *cough cough cough*

 

[BEAR]

Nice! I liked this story quite a bit.

 

[redBoobergurl]

It's fun to read this story again! And I like how you wrote it into book format, makes it easier to read. This has always been one of my favorite stories (especially the ending, but I won't give it away for any readers reading for the first time)

 

[theprawncracker]

Ok, here's the thing, I haven't touched this story since I posted, but I have been writing some more of a new short story of mine. So don't worry! The new one will be up Monday, and I'll get back to this. I promise!

 

[Xerus]

Pretty cool fanfic you're writing. I always imagined what the Muppets would be like in high school and which Muppets would be good teachers. I can't wait to read more.

 

[theprawncracker]

Well, actually I wrote it in April of this year, but it was written in script form, and it drove me insane, so I re-wrote it in story book form instead. Glad you're enjoying it Xerus!

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 7

Kermit burst through the gym doors "Sheesh," he said. "Piggy barely noticed I was talking to her."

"No, my body es more sexy than jours. Hokay?" Pepe said from the middle of the gym.

"Yeah whatevah," Rizzo said. He turned to see Kermit. "Hey Pepe der’s Kermit!"

"I’m sorry who?" Pepe asked.

"The frog from the detention party. Duh!" Rizzo said.

"Hey guys," Kermit said. "How’s it going?"

"Meh," Pepe said. "I cannot complain. So," he nudged Kermit’s side. "How’s it going with jew and de pig?"

"Well, not so good, she didn’t even notice that I was talking to her," Kermit said.

"Well, keep trying man," Rizzo patted his shoulder. "We’re here for ya."
"Thanks guys that really-" Kermit began.

"So Ritzo, what do jew think of dat Annie Sue?" Pepe interrupted. "She’s muy sexy. Hokay?"

"Yeah I know!" Rizzo exclaimed.

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Sheesh," he moaned.

A large brown monster stomped into the gym wearing a white t-shirt and blue shorts. "Alright shut it! I’m Mr. Sweetums, the gym teacher, and today my assistant’s gonna teach ya how to play ultimate frisbee," he said.

"Assistant?" Someone in the crowd asked.

An orange skinned man with a black mustache and hair popped in. "Ah! My name is Mr. Lew Zealand, and I’m a boomerang fish thrower! I throw my fish a-way," he threw his fish away, "and they come back to me!" The fish flew back towards him, but missed his hand and landed in Mr. Sweetums’ mouth. "Hey! Give me back Darla!"

"Quiet Lew, and teach ‘em how to play ultimate frisbee!" Mr. Sweetums snapped.

Lew sighed. "Fine," he picked up a frisbee. "Look, you throw it a-way," he threw it away and someone in the crowd caught it. "But, sadly, it does not come back to you, and if you’re past the goal line when you catch it, you score. Got it?"

The class nodded slowly. "Good, now," Lew scanned the crowd. "For captains I want Hogthrob," Link walked up to the front of the class. "And," Lew scanned again. "Mr. the Frog!"

"Me?!" Kermit asked.

"Yes you now come on!" Lew said. "Now, Link, you pick first."

Link pushed back his hair. "Clifford," he pointed. "Naturally." They high-fived when Clifford walked up.

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Um," he scanned the crowd. "Pepe?"

"Me?!" Pepe jumped up. "Ha ha ha! I wasn’t picked last! Hokay?"

"That’s utterly pathetic," Link told him. "I pick Crazy Harry."

"He he he," a deranged looking person with black hair walked up.

"Rizzo?" Kermit scrunched his face.

"Sa-weet!" Rizzo exclaimed.

"You have no perception of sports prowess do you?" Link asked. He thought for a second. "Wait, what?" He shook his head. "Marvin and his Muppaphone." Link pointed.

"Ah! Come on boys let’s a-move it!" A blue person with a mallet pushed along a group of pink and orange fur balls.

"Aw Marvin can’t we watch this time? There aren’t even balls in this sport!" One of them whined.

"Shut up!" Marvin yelled at them. "You are going to be our chairs, got it?!"
The fur balls quietly agreed.

"Sheesh," Kermit moaned. "Um, how about you." Kermit pointed to a man with a beard. He walked up to him.

"Do I know you?" Kermit asked.

"Ever heard of Jim Henson?" The man asked.

"Hmm, it rings a bell," Kermit said.

"Deadly I pick you!" Link yelled.

A blue dragon-like creature sulked up towards the others. He looked at the camera and said, "Don’t worry folks, this will be a frightfully small cameo appearance."


Kermit, Rizzo, and Pepe burst out of the gym. "Sheesh guys," Kermit said. "We played horrible!"

"Si," Pepe nodded. "But jew were no John Elway jourself. Hokay?"

"Um Pepe," Rizzo said. "John Elway plays football, not ultimate frisbee."

"I still can’t believe we lost to that Link guy though," Kermit sighed.

"Yeah, and would you believe he has the nerve to ask Piggy to the dance?" Rizzo asked.

"He what?!" Kermit exclaimed.

"De plot thickens. Hokay?" Pepe said.

Chapter 8


Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie walked down the empty hallway. "Well guys, this is my stop," Kermit said.

"Alright Kermit have fun in band," Fozzie said. They began to walk away. "So Gonzo, how was math class today?"

"Better than dissecting a frog in biology!" Gonzo said.
"Oh I doubt that!"

"Sheesh," Kermit shook his head and went into the band room.

"Hey hey green stuff," Floyd said.

"Hey Floyd," Kermit took off his backpack. "Hey guys."

"Hey Kermit welcome back," Rowlf said. "You ready to play us the song?"

"Well sure," Kermit said. He picked up his banjo. "I’m still a little rusty
though," he began to play.

"Why are there so many,

Songs about rainbows,
And what’s on the other side?
Rainbow’s are visions,
But only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we’ve been told and some choose to believe it,
I know they’re wrong wait and see.
Someday we’ll find it, the Rainbow Connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me," Kermit sang.

"Alright!" Dr. Teeth grinned. "Mind if we cut in?"

"Like can you get behind it?" Janice said as the band began to play.

"Who said that every wish would be heard and answered,
When wished on the morning stars?
Somebody thought of that,
And someone believed it,
And look what it’s done so far.
What’s so amazing that keeps us star gazing?
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we’ll find it, the Rainbow Connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me," Kermit continued.

Rowlf walked up behind him and sang.

"All of us under it’s spell,
We know that it’s probably magic," He sang.

"Have you been half asleep?
And have you heard voices?" Kermit continued.

"I’ve heard them calling my name," Rowlf sang.

"Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one in the same," Kermit continued the rest of the song.
"I’ve heard it to many times to ignore it,
It’s something that I’m s’possed to be,
Someday we’ll find it, the Rainbow Connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
La da da de de da dum, la da, da da da de, da do," Kermit finished.

Rowlf applauded. "Kermit, never have I seen a guy so green play the banjo so mean."

"Heh heh, yeah man," Floyd said. "That song was groovin’!"
"Like rully!" Janice said.

"Now why don’t the rest of you show us what you’ve got?" Rowlf asked.

Chapter 9

Kermit listened to the conversation ensue at the lunch table. "Yeah," Scooter said. "My twin sister’s on an exhibition in the Amazon rainforest," he said. "And did I tell you that my uncle owns this high school?"

"No way!" Fozzie said.

"It’s true!" Scooter exclaimed. "Why else do you think it’d be called Grosse High School?"

Kermit looked at Gonzo, he was shoveling in some of the Chef’s Thursday surprise. He scrunched up his face. "Well I could think of another reason," he said.

"Kermin! Kermin, jew have to come and see dis. Hokay?" Pepe ran in.
"Pepe what is it?" Kermit asked.

"Es muy importante," he gasped. "Just come on. Hokay?"

Pepe led the four of them to the edge of the cafeteria. "There you guys are," Rizzo said. "Come on, it’s about to start!"

"What’s going on?" Kermit asked.

"I think he is," Gonzo pointed to Link, who was standing on top of a lunch table.

"Excuse me," Link said over the talking in the cafeteria. "Excuse me," he began to get annoyed.

"Quiet!!" A large brown bear yelled from behind the table. The crowd immediately silenced.

"Thank you Bobo," Link told the bear.

"No problem chief," the bear saluted.

"And now," Link began. "A ballad, for the sweetest lass in class," he extended his hand towards Piggy. "Piggy!"

"Ready?" Clifford said from another table holding his guitar. "One, two, three, hit it!" He began to play.

"Piggy!" Link sang. "You’re the only girl for me!

Piggy! You’re the reason I need therapy!
Piggy! You’re my favorite girl!
Piggy! You most certainly do not make me hurl!
Piggy!!" He continued to sing.

Pepe turned to face Kermit. "Kermin," he began. "It’s now or never. Hokay?" He said. "Jew have to go ask de pig now!"

"He’s right Kermit! If you don’t hurry Link’s gonna get to Piggy before you!" Gonzo told him.

He nodded. "Ok," he ran off to find Piggy in the crowded room.

Meanwhile, Link continued to sing, "Piggy! You’re sweeter than grandma’s apple pie!
Piggy! If you don’t say yes I’ll cry!"

"Yeah," Clifford said. "And that won’t be pretty."

Soon, Kermit caught sight of Piggy. "Piggy," he called. "Piggy can I talk to you?"

"Kermie?" She asked surprised. "What are vous doing here?"

"Piggy be mine!!" Link finished the song. He was greeted with thunderous applause. "Thank you," Link bowed. "Thank you."

"What is it Kermie?" Piggy asked the frog.

"Well I was wondering if-" Kermit began.

"Boys!" Link snapped his fingers and two strong guys picked up Piggy and carried her to the top of the table.

"Hey!" Kermit reached after her.

"Hey, put me down you big oafs!" Piggy struggled out of their grasp.

"Piggy," Link kneeled. "Will you...Will you..." he struggled. "Drat, line!" He called.

A large purple monster ran up behind Link and whispered in his ear. "Go to the dance with me," he said. "Please."

"No, no, I’m going to ask Piggy," Link said. "Oh, right," he turned back to Piggy. "Piggy, will you go to the dance with me?"

Just then, a penguin carrying a cue card popped up behind Link. The cue card read "Awe." The crowd looked at the card carrying penguin and said. "Awwww."

"Oh Link I," she glanced at Kermit. "I-oh of course I will Link!" She smiled.
The penguin flipped the card over and it read "Applause."

The crowd looked at the card and the penguin and said. "Applause! Huh?"

Kermit sniffed. "Good grief," he walked away holding back tears.
"Kermit?" Fozzie asked.

"You all right man?" Rizzo asked.

He shook his head. "Gonzo, Fozzie, I’ll see you in science class," he held his head down and walked away.

Fozzie sighed. "Poor Kermit," he said. "I wish we could do something to help him."

"Maybe we can!" Gonzo said.

"What?" Scooter asked.

"Por que buzzard beak, how do jew propose we do dat?" Pepe asked.

"Well," Gonzo said. "We’re gonna need a little help..."


"Well class," Dr. Honeydew addressed the class. "I can’t say I’m proud of your decisions today. After all, only Beaker and Gonzo would stick the paper clip in the electric outlet."

"And boy was it worth it!" A charred Gonzo said. "Ha ha ha!"

"Yes, and I said that that was the only way you could pass the class," he said. "Well, I lied, there will be a test tomorrow!"

"Meep?!" Beaker screeched, then fainted.

"Oh dear, Beaker must be suffering from post electric shock!" Dr. Honeydew exclaimed. "Quickly Fozzie, get me the defibulator!"

"Yes sir!" Fozzie jumped from his seat and handed Dr. Honeydew the defibulator.

"Thank you Fozzie!" Dr. Honeydew exclaimed. "You get an A!"

"Ah! Thank you sir!" Fozzie said.

"Alright, clear!" Dr. Honeydew shouted. He used the defibulator on Beaker.
"Meeeeeeeeee!!" Beaker was shocked.

The bell rings and the class begins to leave. "Remember class, test tomorrow!" The class leaves, except Beaker. "Oh Beaker, would you stay after class today and assist me with an experiment?"

"Mee?" Beaker asked.

"I’ll give you extra credit!" Dr. Honeydew said.

"Mee mo!" Beaker exclaimed.

Meanwhile, outside the class, Kermit is still sulking in his sorrow. "So Kermit," Gonzo attempted to break the ice. "You still going to the dance tomorrow?"
"No," Kermit sighed. "No I don’t think so Gonzo. Not anymore."

"What?!" Gonzo shouted. "Um, excuse me and Fozzie for a second."

Gonzo pulled Fozzie aside and whispered in his ear.

Where did I go wrong? Kermit thought. Why didn’t Piggy say no to Link when she knew I was going to ask her? Maybe she didn’t know...Oh well, it’s over now, and I have to get to band. He began to leave to band when Fozzie cuts in front of him.

"Hey Kermit, you wanna hear a funny joke?" Fozzie asked.

"No Fozzie," Kermit said. "I’ve gotta get to band."

"Great, so a frog walks into a bank, then goes up to the teller, he can clearly see that her name is Patty Wack, and says, ‘Hello, I’d like to borrow $3,000 to buy a boat,’ then the teller said-"

"Fozzie will you please let me get to band?!" Kermit shouted.

"But Kermit, you haven’t heard the punch line yet!So, the owner says, ‘It’s a nick nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan, his old man is a Rolling Stone! Ah!! That’s so funny!" Fozzie said.

Kermit stared at Fozzie. "I think you forgot part," he said.

"Really? Well let me start again," Fozzie said. "So a frog walks into a bank,"
Just then Gonzo jumps in front of him "Sorry Kermit," he said. "Come on Fozzie let’s get going."

"But I-" Fozzie said.

"No buts!" Gonzo said.

"Hey Gonzo where’d you go?" Kermit asked.

"Oh um, I was in the little whatever’s room," Gonzo said. "Bye Kermit, have fun at band!"

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Sheesh," he sighed, and walked into the band room.

Chapter 10

"Janice baby are you alright?" Floyd asked Janice who was doubled over in his arms."

"What happened?" Kermit asked.

"Oh, I totally sprained my right wrist," Janice said. Floyd whispered something in her ear. "Oh, I mean I totally sprained my left wrist," she said.

"Are you going to be ok Janice?" Kermit asked.

"Have no fear frog," Dr. Teeth said. "We have already called up the school nurse, he’ll be here any minute."

"He?" Kermit asked. Just then a man with a large head in a surgical apron and wearing surgical gloves and a mask.

"Hello," he said. "I’m Dr. van Neuter, and I’ll be your brain surgeon today. If ya don’t mind. Get it? Mind? Ah ah ah!" He laughed.

"Man we don’t need a brain surgeon," Floyd said.

"Yeah," Rowlf interrupted. "We just need someone to look at her wrist."

"Picky picky!" Dr. van Neuter said. "Now, let me take a look." He examines Janice’s wrist slowly.

"Like what’s the jurisdiction Doc?" Janice asked.

"Oh dear," the doctor said. "I am sorry, but your wrist is sprained."

"We totally knew that already," Janice said. "But will like will I totally be able to play the guitar at the dance tomorrow?"

"No, I’m sorry," Dr. van Neuter said. "You must wait at least," he glanced at the clock. "38 hours."

"Oh no!" Janice said. "That’s like right when the dance is over!"

"Man what are we gonna do now?" Floyd asked.

"Well how am I supposed to know?" Dr. van Neuter asked. "I’m just a nurse." He left immediately.

"If only we had someone who could replace Janice," Dr. Teeth said.

"Well," Rowlf said. "We’ve got Kermit," everyone stared at Kermit.

"A banjo," Floyd said. "In a rock band?"

"It’s so terribly insane that it just might work," Dr. Teeth laughed.

"Me?" Kermit asked. "Oh no I can’t," Kermit said. "I’m not going to the dance tomorrow," he sighed.

"Well why not?" Dr. Teeth asked.

Rowlf looked at him. "Broken heart right?"

"What?" Kermit asked.

"Mmm," Dr. Teeth thought. "That’s tough, but I think we may have a song that can help," he said. "Zoot get up and grab your sax!"

"Wha’?" Zoot shot up from his nap. "I’m up," he said.
Dr. Teeth began to sing. "When love’s left you hangin,
On a branch that’s just danglin’,
And you’ve got nowhere to go.
Just listen to your heart, and get on with the show," he sang.

"Hit it!" Floyd said.

The band began to play their instruments, minus Janice of course. "Don’t let love,
Let you down," they all sang.

"Don’t get caught up,
And end up with a frown!
Just live like there’s no tomorrow,
And learn to let things go!
Don’t give in, don’t lock out,
Let love go and don’t you pout!
Because, love leaves you,
Love finds you,
Love lets you go,
And love defines you!" The band sang.

"So get off of that limb," Dr. Teeth continued.
"Get on with the show,
Don’t ever give up,
And let...love...go!"

"Let love go! Ah ha ha!" Animal lauged.

Kermit scrunched his face, "Wow guys, that was loud." Kermit said. "But it sure did make me feel better," he sighed. "Alright, I’ll play with you guys tomorrow."

"Yeah!" Floyd said. "I knew you wouldn’t let us down green stuff."

Chapter 11

Kermit walked into room 81A. He sat down and Gonzo and Fozzie walked up and sat next to him. "Hey Kermit!" Gonzo said. "You look happier today!"

"Yeah! What happened?" Fozzie asked.

"It’s a long story," Kermit said. "But in short, I’m playing with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem at the dance tonight."

"Wow! That’s awesome!" Gonzo said.

"Yes, and so unexpected," Fozzie said.

Just then Professor Sam burst through the door. "Quiet down, quiet down!" He shouted. "Now children, I have been instructed by our principals to teach you the art of ballroom dancing!" He stood up straight. "Now, arrange the desks into a circle and pick a partner!" He bellowed.

"This is going to be weird," Gonzo said. "In a bad way."

Kermit and Gonzo waited in the lunch line. "Sheesh," Kermit sighed. "I can’t believe I forgot my lunch," he looked at the Chef. "I hate to ask, but what’s for lunch today?"

"It’s Friday surprise," Gonzo grabbed a tray. "Of course."

Kermit picked up his tray and followed Gonzo to the lunch table where Fozzie, Scooter, Pepe, and Rizzo are sat talking. "No he’s-a not, he’s-a wearing a neck-a tie!" Fozzie said. "Ah! That’s so fun-ny!"

"Dat’s not funny. Hokay?" Pepe shook his head.

"Hey guys," Kermit said as he and Gonzo sat down at the table."

"Hola froggy," Pepe said. "Jew look a bit happier today."

"Well, it just took a little song," Kermit said. "And I had to learn to let love go."

Chapter 12

Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie talked by Gonzo’s locker. "Yeah, so my Ma’s paying for my tuxedo!" Fozzie said.

"Neat," Gonzo slammed his locker. "I’ve already got Camilla’s corsage."

Kermit shook his head. "Come on guys, I don’t want to be late for science again."

Beauregard mopped the floors near the three of them. "Oh hi guys," Beau said.

"Hi Beau," Fozzie said. "How’s it going?"

"How’s what going?" Beau asked.

"Never mind," Fozzie said. "So are you going to be at the dance tonight?" He asked.

"Oh yes," Beau said slowly while reading off of his hand. "I have to be there early to watch the snack bar." He blinked.

"Uh, come on Kermit!" Gonzo pushed him. "Let’s go to science!"

"Sorry Gonzo," Beau called after them. "I mean er...bye!"


"And now class," Dr. Honeydew said. "Beaker and I will demonstrate static electricity!" He inflated a balloon. "Now watch as I simply rub this balloon on Beaker’s hair." He rubbed the balloon on Beaker’s hair. "And place it on his chest, sending a volt of static electricity through him." He stuck it on Beaker’s shirt.

"Mee!" Beaker cringed, but nothing happened. "Mee mee! Mee mee mo mo!" He cheered.

"Oh wait, that’s right," Dr. Honeydew said. "I must touch Beaker for the volt to be sent," he touched Beaker with his finger and sent a jolt of static electricity through him.

"Meeee!!" Beaker screamed.

"Well done Beakie!" The bell rang and the class gets up to leave. "Class dismissed!"


"Hey Rowlf," Kermit asked. "Do you think we could change this line in 'Can You Picture That?'"

"Which one?" Rowlf asked.

"‘Jelly belly gigglin’, dancin’, and a jigglin’, honey that’s the way I am,’" Kermit scrunched up his face.

"Oh, that," Rowlf said. "Yeah we can change it." He scribbled something on some sheet music and turned to the band. "Alright gang, time for our closing number," he said.

"Which one’s that Rowlf?" Kermit asked.

"Man," Floyd said. "You oughta know which one."

"Indeed you should," Dr. Teeth said. "After all, we do need your banjo to play it," he said. "It is of course ‘Rainbow Connection.’"

Kermit gulped loudly. "What?" He asked quietly.

"Is that ok Kermit?" Rowlf asked. "If it’s not, we don’t have to play it."

"No no," Kermit said. "It’s fine. Just let love go," he whispered to himself.
​

​

 

[TogetherAgain]

Ladies and Gentlemen, for those of you who don't know, we have just revisited the very origin of the cue-card-penguin-running-gag. Yep, right up there in chapter nine, that's where it all started...

Golly gee whiz, prawncracker, I can't believe I forgot some of this stuff! "De plot thickens. Hokay?" Was DEFINATELY one of my favorite lines, and I forgot it! SHAME ON ME! It's so wonderful! ...I did remember the whole right wrist, left wrist thing, though... <chuckle>