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Cookie Monster Cookies

Boo, get off the stage!

Danny Horn (01-03-00) - I have suffered before in the service of Muppet fandom. MuppetZine readers will remember that a few years ago, I fearlessly ate a can of Chef Boyardee's Sesame Street pasta in order to report on it for the magazine. (It was awful.)

So in the same spirit, I bought a box of Cookie Monster cookies this week, and while I don't have a magazine anymore, I thought I'd share the results. I ate the cookies myself, and in the interests of science and good journalism, I shared them with a two-year-old friend as a control group.

The cookies are put out by a company called SunnyBaked Foods, and I bought 'em at K-mart. They had some flavors which even I wasn't sure I could eat -- vanilla graham for one -- so I opted for "Milk Chocolate Chip." It's an odd name for a flavor, actually, and it took me a while to understand that they meant that the chips are made of milk chocolate. (I was imagining that the flavor was Milk and Chocolate Chip, kind of like Mint Chocolate Chip but with Milk, which didn't really make any sense.)

The box is nice. Can't fault the box. It's got a nice attractive drawing of Cookie Monster munching and stirring batter on the front, and three Cookie Monsters somehow cloned and working together in the bakery on the back. (Actually, I could probably complain that a photo would be nicer than the drawings, but that's hairsplitting.) Cookie Monster's googly eyes form the "OO" in "COOKIES," which is a cute touch that was much appreciated by the two-year-old I shared the cookies with.

The box also says that the cookies are "All Natural!" with "No Preservatives!" and it's a "Good Source of Calcium," which is nice to know if you happen to be feeding a LOT of cookies to a two-year-old, as I was. But get to the cookies! I hear you shout. Fine. The cookies.

The cookies are small and crunchy and they pretty much taste like Chips Ahoy or any other supermarket cookie you might buy. They're not chewy in the slightest, and they have kind of a weird sugary aftertaste that is not wholly unpleasant. These are not cookies that I would generally consider eating unless a particularly favorite Muppet was urging me to enjoy them.

The two-year-old couldn't stop eating them, however, and kept angling for more cookies. I thought at first that in the interests of science I would give him as many cookies as he could stand to eat, but it became clear that his appetite for Cookie Monster cookies was bottomless and I figured he probably had other sources of calcium already. So they're a hit with the two-year-olds. I actually don't know this child well enough to know whether this is his usual cookie-eating behavior or if the Cookie Monster cookies hit a particular cookie nerve for him, but he certainly wasn't repelled by them.

But the two-year-old does not control my cookie buying, so I probably will not be buying more Cookie Monster cookies for my own personal consumption.

I'll probably keep the box, though.


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