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The Muppet Show Live - Act
II
Transcribed
by Phillip and Cindy Chapman
Fan Commentary in green italics by
Tom Holste and Phillip Chapman
Fan Art by Chris Smigliano
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1. WELCOME BACK - MARIA BELLO
(HOUSE LIGHTS
DOWN. SPOTLIGHT ON STAGE. ENTER MARIA BELLO)
MARIA
Good evening
everyone. I'm Maria Bello and I want to thank you all for coming
and giving your support to Save the Children. We're glad you're
here.
About four
years ago I started working with Save the Children and I got to
see first hand what a difference they make. After Hurricane Mitch.
I travled to Nicaragua with them to organize play programs for
children effected by the disaster.
In Kosoov,
Albania, Bhutan and Nepal, I saw how Save the Children's dedicated
staff helped provide for the basic needs of children trying to
survive amid terrible conditions. Yes, Save the Children makes
a difference and we thank you for your generosity tonight.
The proceeds
from this evening's event will go towards aiding our children's
and family programs in California, the United States and around
the world.
I would also
like to thank Charlie Rivkin and Brian Henson and everyone at
The Jim Henson Company for making this wonderful evening possible.
And special thanks to my co-chairs Martha and Dino DeLaurentis,
Carol and Bill Haber, The Honorable Robert Hertzberg and Dr. Cynthia
Hertzberg, my husband Dan McDermott, and Ellen and Scott Safsa.
Now, let's
enjoy the second half of The Muppet Show Live!
(MARIA EXITS)
MUSIC:
PLAYON "MUPPET SHOW" THEME (LIVE)
(GO TO BLACK)
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2. STATLER & WALDORF
MUSIC:
DRUM ROLL (LIVE)
(FOLLOW SPOTS
CHASE AROUND THE CURTAIN UNTIL THE FIND…)
WALDORF
You know,
the second half of this show reminds me of Aspen.
STATLER
Why Aspen?
WALDORF
Cause it's
all downhill from here!
(THEY LAUGH)
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3. VIDEO: "HERD OF COWS" FRAWLEY TEST
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4. INTRO: JIM HENSON TRIBUTE
(BRIAN HENSON
ENTERS)
BRIAN
HENSON
Hi, I'm Brian
Henson
That clip
you just watched is a test my father and Frank Oz made. As you
saw, a key part of what we do is having fun.
And from what
you've seen on stage, you know it takes a lot of people to have
this much fun.
I want to
introduce you to some of those people. But first I'd like to mention
a few of the people who aren't here tonight. Those who passed
on:
-- Don Sahlin
-- Richard Hunt
And those
who couldn't be here:
-- Jerry Juhl
-- Frank Oz
In addition
to these people, my father assembled a core group of creative
crazies. Ladies and gentleman, it's my pleasure to introduce the
Muppet Performers:
-- Steve Whitmire…
(STEVE ENTERS, APPLAUSE)
-- Dave Goelz…
(DAVE ENTERS, APPLUASE)
-- Jerry Nelson…
(JERRY ENTERS, APPLAUSE)
(BRIAN EXITS)
Some of what Brian had to say about his
father's work was in the script, but as one would expect, it was
largely extemporized. In fact, there are no specific words in the
script about Steve, Dave or Jerry.
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5. JIM HENSON TRIBUTE - PUPPETEERS
VIDEO: PUPPETEER
STILLS (FREEZE)
STEVE
(bulletpoints)
-- Meeting
Jim for the first time.
-- Doing
Kermit. Remembering Jim's face as he did it.
-- Masked Ball, Steve dressed up as a strange writer.
DAVE
(bulletpoints)
-- Favorite
thing: Laughing.
-- Jim as appreciative.
JERRY
(bulletpoints)
-- Jim as
leader, whim of steel.
-- Letting you do something over and over again until you couldn't
come up with anything and just let go. And Jim would say, "That's
it!"
JERRY
These are
just a few of our memories of our fearless leader - and we're
sure everyone here has their own favorite memories of Jim and
the Characters and worlds he created. Let's watch.
Like Brian, the puppeteers' comments
were largely extemporized, though bullet points were listed for
what each performer planned to discuss. According to the script,
Steve was going to tell an anecdote about a Masked Ball, but for
some reason decided to skip that story. Jerry's last line about
their "Fearless Leader" was scripted. Jerry read
a poem about Jim being their "Fearless Leader" at
his memorial service in May 1990.
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6. VIDEO: JIM HENSON TRIBUTE
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7.
SONG: "WHERE YOU AT"
(UP ON FLOYD
AND ZOOT IN FRONT OF THE BAND'S SET-UP)
FLOYD
Hey, where's
the rest of the band?
ZOOT
Late, man.
Late.
FLOYD
I must be
getting old - I'm starting to get to my gigs on time. I wonder
where they at…
MUSIC:
"WHERE YOU AT" (LIVE)
(FLOYD STARTS
TO PLAY HIS BASS. HE SINGS "WHERE YOU AT")
Where you
at?
Where's your natural habitat?
Baby where you at?
I wanna go there
Where's the place?
Which direction should I face?
I wanna go there
(- -) SAXAPHONE
SOLO
FLOYD
I was doing
find
'Til I heard you call.
I've been searchin' everywhere
But I can't find you nowhere at all
So, where you at?
Tell me 'fore I flip my hat
Baby, where you at?
I wanna go there.
(APPLAUSE)
FLOYD
(spoken)
They're here.
(CURTAIN RISES
ON DR. TEETH, ANIMAL AND JANICE. FLOYD AND ZOOT JOIN THEM)
In the script, the rest of the band wasn't
supposed to join Floyd and Zoot onstage till the end of "Where You
At," after Floyd says, "They're here." In the show, the band slowly
made its way onstage while the song was playing, so that when Floyd
says, "They're here," they really were all there!
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8. SONG: "CAN YOU PICTURE THAT" (track)
DR.
TEETH
Oh yeah! Whoa!
Ahhh!
Everybody's
lover, everybody's brother
I wanna be your lifetime friend
Crazy as a rocket, nothin' in my pocket
I keep it at the rainbow's end
I never think of money
I think of milk and honey
Grinnin' like a Cheshire cat
I focus on the pleasure
Somethin' I can treasure
Can you picture that?
ALL
Can you picture
that?
DR.
TEETH
Oh yeah!
Hey Floyd,
take a verse!
FLOYD
Let me take
your picture
Add it to the mixture
There it is I got you now
Really nothin to it, anyone can do it
It's easy and we all know how
Now begins the changin'
Mental rearrangin'
Nothin's really where it's at
DR.
TEETH
Now the Eiffel
Tower's
Holdin' up a flower
I gave it to a taxi cat
FLOYD/JANICE
Fact is there's
nothin' out there
You can't do
Yeah, even Santa Claus believes in you
DR.
TEETH
Beat down
your walls,
Begin, believe, bee…begat
FLOYD
Be a better
drummer
Be an up and comer
Can you picture that?
ANIMAL
Can you picture
that?!
(ANIMAL GRUNTS)
JANICE
Oh, really?
(ANIMAL GRUNTS)
FLOYD
All of us
are winnin'
Pickin' and a grinnin'
Lordy but I love to jam
JANICE
Jelly belly
gigglin'
Dancin' and a-wigglin'
Honey that's the way I am
DR.
TEETH
Lost my heart
in Texas
Northern lights affect us
I keep it underneath my hat
Aurora Borealis
Shinin' down on Dallas
Can you picture that?
ALL
Can you picture?
Can you picture?
DR.
TEETH
You gotta
see it in your mind
ALL
Can you picture?
FLOYD
You know it's
quick and easy to find
ALL
Can you picture?
JANICE
You don't
have to buy a frame
ALL
Can you picture?
Can you picture that?
Can you picture that?
(APPLAUSE)
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9. VIDEO: MUPPET MOMENT - "PIGS IN SPACE"
They showed the "Gravitational Pull"
sketch where Miss Piggy switches seats with Link and Strangepork
only to discover that as she moves the Swinetrack tilts along with
her.
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10. SONG: "NEVER BEFORE AND NEVER AGAIN"
with Video (Brooke Shields)
KERMIT
Well, I was
supposed to perform a duet with Miss Piggy right now but we still
don't know where she is, so I guess we won't be able to --
(GONZO POKES
HIS HEAD OUT FROM BACKSTAGE)
GONZO
Pssst, Kermit.
Introduce Miss Piggy.
KERMIT
You found
her?
GONZO
Sort of.
KERMIT
What do you
mean "sort of"?
GONZO
Relax! Just
introduce Miss Piggy.
(GONZO EXITS)
KERMIT
Ladies and
gentlemen, here to sing "Never Before and Never Again"
with me is Miss Piggy, sort of.
BROOKE
(Off-Screen)
You want me
to go out there like this?
GONZO
(Off-Screen)
Be a sport!
It's the 25th anniversary!
(GONZO PUSHES
BROOK OUT FROM THE WING)
Break a leg!
(BROOK SHIELDS
ENTERS. SHE IS WEARING A BLOND WIG AND A PIG SNOUT ON AN ELASTIC
CORD IS TRAPPED TO HER FACE. SHE MIGHT ALSO WEAR A STRING OF PEARLS
AND LONG LAVENDER GLOVES)
KERMIT
Wait a second…
it can't be… Brooke Shields? Why are you dressed like that?
BROOKE
What?! Gonzo
said it was your idea to have me impersonate Miss Piggy.
KERMIT
Gon-zo!
(GONZO DUCKS
OUT FROM WINGS)
GONZO
Oops!
KERMIT
(TO BROOKE)
I'm
sorry about this.
BROOKE
Oh, it's okay,
Kermit. It's an honor to impersonate Miss Piggy, especially when
I get to work with… vous.
KERMIT
Uh, well…
BROOKE
(AS
PIGGY)
Kissy-kissy,
Kermie. Come let us be be-yoo-tiful music together, shmoopie-poo.
KERMIT
Shmoopie-poo?
Uh, okay.
(CALLING OFF)
Music please.
MUSIC:
"NEVER BEFORE AND NEVER AGAIN" (LIVE)
BROOKE
(SINGS
BEAUTIFULLY)
Never before….
have two souls…
(KERMIT INTERRUPTS)
KERMIT
Wait a minute,
Brooke.
BROOKE
What's the
matter? Not good enough?
KERMIT
Nope. Not
bad enough. Your singing is too good to be Piggy.
BROOKE
I'll try again.
MUSIC:
"NEVER BEFORE AND NEVER AGAIN" (LIVE)
BROOKE
(cont'd)
(SINGS, SLIGHTLY WORSE)
Never before…
(SPOKEN)
Bad enough?
KERMIT
Nope.
BROOKE
(SINGS WORSE)
Never before…
(SPOKEN)
Bad enough?
KERMIT
Not yet.
BROOKE
(REALLY BADLY)
Never before…
KERMIT
That's it!
BROOKE
(CONTINUING)
… have
two souls joined so freely
and so fast…
For me this is the first time, and the last
Is this an angel's wish for men?
Never before and never…
(AT SOME POINT
DURING BROOKE'S SINGING, THE VIDEO SCREEN COMES TO LIFE WITH PIGGY'S
IMAGE. NOTE: SHE IS LOOKING DIRECTLY DOWN, AS THEY WILL BE RIGHT
IN FRONT OF THE SCREEN)
VIDEO: "PIGGY
& KERMIT" (1:38)
PIGGY
(On-Screen)
All right,
knock it off, Brookie. Listen, you go near my frog again and I'll
make you wish…
KERMIT
(INTERRUPTING)
Piggy,
you were supposed to be here tonight. Where are you?
PIGGY
(On-Screen)
Oh, Kermit,
I told you I couldn't make it. This weekend is "Piggyfest,"
a celebration of all things moi. And let me tell you Bayonne is
lovely this time of year.
KERMIT
Piggyfest?
Bayonne? Piggy, how could you do this to us.
PIGGY
(On-Screen)
Moi!? What
about you and "Suddenly Miss Snooty-Pants'" there.
(PIGGY TURNS
AWAY FROM CAMER, HURT AND ANGRY)
BROOKE
(TO KERMIT)
I'll just
leave.
KERMIT
No. Wait here.
I'll be right back.
(KERMIT EXITS.
BEAT)
(KERMIT ENTERS
VIDEO WITH PIGGY)
KERMIT
(On-Screen) (CONT'D)
Piggy! What
is this all about?
PIGGY
(On-Screen)
What is this
all about? I'll tell vous what it's all about: you never call,
you never write. You sell the company and all I get is a T-shirt
that says "Somebody in Munich Loves Me".
KERMIT
(On-Screen)
Piggy!…
I'm sorry, it's just….
PIGGY
(On-Screen)
(REGAINING
COMPOSURE)
It's
okay, Kermie. Sometimes it's good just to let these things out.
KERMIT
(On-Screen)
That's right
Piggy. You just let it out.
PIGGY
(On-Screen)
Vous asked
for it… Hiiii-yaaaaa!!!
(PIGGY KARATE
CHOPS KERMIT WHO GOES FLYING OFF-SCREEN. BEAT.)
PIGGY
(On-Screen) (CONT'D)
(TO CAMERA!)
Kissy-kissy!
Bye-bye everyone! Ta! Kissy-Kissy!
(THE VIDEO
SCREEN FLICKERS OFF)
Naturally, Piggy asked Kermit twice if
she should really let her feelings out before giving him the "Hi-yaaa."
The script has Piggy say, "Vous asked for it," but in the clip,
Piggy (who probably wasn't feeling very French at the moment) simply
said, "You asked for it."
In the script, after the karate chop,
Piggy then turns to the audience and says, "Kissy-kissy! Bye-bye
everyone! Ta! Kissy-kissy!" In the show, the Piggy video clip ends
immediately after she "Hi-yaaa's Kermit and sends him flying back
onstage.
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11. SONG: "SAN FRANCISCO BAY BLUES"
(Brooke Shields)
(KERMIT COMES
STAGGERING IN FROM THE WINGS)
BROOKE
Are you okay,
Kermit?
KERMIT
Just fine.
BROOKE
Should we
still sing the song?
KERMIT
Uh sure, I
guess. Uh, Music!… Let's do it together.
MUSIC: NEVER
BEFORE AND NEVER AGAIN (LIVE)
(ENTER BOBO,
JUST BEFORE THEY BEGIN TO SING)
BOBO
Whoa! Whoa!
Stop the music!
KERMIT
Bobo, what
are you doing?
BOBO
I got Paul
Williams backstage threatening to leave if you do any further
damage to his song.
BROOKE
Well, what
do we do?
BOBO
Well, first,
lose the pig stuff. You're scarin' the kids.
BROOKE
Right.
KERMIT
Maybe there's
another number we could sing.
BOBO
Lemme think…
Think, think… WHOA!
(BROOKE AND
KERMIT REACT)
BOBO
(CONT'D)
Do you guys
know "San Francisco Bay Blues"?
BROOKE/KERMIT
Sure…
yeah.
BOBO
Then that's
what you're gonna do.
(TO ORCHESTRA)
Hey, Ray,
gimme a D, gimme a nice round D.
(TO BROOKE)
Oh, and you're
gonna want to lose the boa.
BROOKE
I'm keepin'
the boa.
BOBO
She's keepin'
the boa! Here we go, Ray!
(BOBO EXITS)
MUSIC:
"SAN FRANCISCO BAY BLUES" (LIVE)
(BROOKE REMOVES
THE PIGGY STUFF AND THEY SING A DUET)
BROOKE
I got the
blues from my baby left me by the San Francisco Bay
KERMIT
The ocean
liner's gone so far away
BROOKE
Didn't mean
to treat him so bad
He was the best frog I ever had
KERMIT
She said goodbye,
I can take a cry
I want to lay down and die.
BROOKE
I ain't got
a nickel and I ain't got a lousy dime
KERMIT
She don't
come back, think I'm going to lose my mind
BROOKE
If he ever
gets back to stay
It's going to be another brand new day
BROOKE/KERMIT
Walking with
my baby down 'round the
San Francisco Bay
(ENTER FLOYD
WHO JOINS IN THE SINGING, FOLLOWED BY A BUNCH OF OTHER MUPPETS)
(-4-) KAZOO
(-4-) KAZOO
(-4-) KAZOO
(-4-) KAZOO
FLOYD/KERMIT
Sitting down
looking from my back door
BROOKE
Wondering
which way to go
KERMIT
The woman
I'm so crazy about
She don't love me no more
BROOKE
Think I'll
take me freight train
'cause I'm feeling blue
BROOKE/KERMIT/FLOYD
Ridin' all
the way to the end of the line
BROOKE
Thinking only
of you
KERMIT
Meanwhile,
in another city
BROOKE
Just about
to go insane
FLOYD
Thought I
heard my baby, lord
The way she used to call my name
BROOKE
If I ever
get back to stay
It's going to be another brand new day
BROOKE/KERMIT/FLOYD
Walking with
my baby down 'round the
San Francisco Bay
Hey, hey, hey
ALL
Walking with
my baby down 'round the
San Francisco Bay
FLOYD
One more time!
ALL
Walking with
my baby down 'round the
San Francisco Bay
(-2-) KAZOO
(APPLAUSE)
KERMIT
Ladies and
gentlemen, Brooke Shields!
(APPLAUSE,
GO TO BLACK)
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12. VIDEO: MUPPET MOMENT - "SWEDISH CHEF
& LOBSTERS BIT"
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13. MUPPET NEWSFLASH - "BOULDER"
(CART ROLLS
IN WITH NEWSCASTER ON IT)
NEWSMAN
A Muppet News
Flash! There are reports of a Giant Boulder rolling through Hollywood.
(HE CRINGES,
THEN LOOKS OUT AT THE FRONT ROWS)
NEWSMAN
(CONT'D)
Ha! They didn't
give you giant boulders to throw, did they?
(SWEETUMS
ENTERS FROM BEHIND THE NEWS SET, CARRYING A GIANT BOULDER)
SWEETUMS
Nope, but
they gave me one.
(SWEETUMS
DECKS NEWSCASTER WITH THE GIANT BOULDER, THEN HELPS ROLL OFF THE
CART)
This was the most significant change from
the script to the performance. After Sweetums comes out and throws
the boulder at the Newsman, the following unscripted addition took
place. The Newsman popped back up from behind the desk and said,
"You missed me"-at which point a cow came hurtling over the top
of the Newsman's stage and nailed him!
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14. VIDEO: MUPPET MOMENT - "PAUL WILLIAMS
- FROM THE EL SLEAZO"
The video clip with Paul Williams at the
El Sleazo in "The Muppet Movie" was omitted. Ironically,
they would have had plenty of time to show it, since they were having
difficulty with Steve's monitor inside the piano where he was performing
Kermit. Paul Williams was playing a hollow piano, with reportedly
at least four people inside: Steve and Melissa Whitmire, Allan Trautman,
and John Kennedy.
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15. SONG: "MOVIN' RIGHT ALONG" (Paul
Williams)
(REVEAL KERMIT
AT A PIANO)
KERMIT
Ladies and
gentlemen, please welcome a great songwriter and a dear friend
of the Muppets - - Paul Williams!
In the script, Kermit simply introduces
Paul as a "great songwriter and friend of the Muppets." In the show,
Kermit went into a little more detail, mentioning all the projects
Paul has worked on over the years.
(PAUL ENTERS,
APPLAUSE)
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Thanks, Kermit.
I've always loved working with you guys. It makes me feel larger
than life.
KERMIT
And you make
us sound so good. You've written a lot of songs for us. Do you
have an favorites?
PAUL
WILLIAMS
How about
his one from "The Muppet Movie."
MUSIC:
"MOVIN' RIGHT ALONG" (LIVE)
KERMIT
You be the
bear.
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Okay. You're
the Frog.
KERMIT
Movin' right
along,
In search of good times and good news
PAUL
WILLIAMS
With good
friends you can't lose.
This could be a habit.
KERMIT
Opportunity
knocks once
Let's reach out and grab it,
Together we'll nab it.
Paul Williams
We'll hitch-hike, bus,
Or yellow cab it.
KERMIT
(SPOKEN)
Cab it?
KERMIT/PAUL
Movin' right
along
KERMIT
Foot loose
and fancy free.
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Getting there
is half the fun
Come share it with me.
KERMIT/PAUL
Movin' right
along
(Doog-a-doon, doog-a-doon)
KERMIT
We'll learn
to share the load.
PAUL
WILLIAMS
We don't need
a map
To keep this show on the road.
KERMIT
Movin right
along
We found a life on the highway.
And your way is my way,
PAUL
WILLIAMS
So trust my
navigation.
California here we come,
That pie in the sky land.
KERMIT
Palm trees
and warm sand,
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Though sadly
we just left Rhode Island.
KERMIT
(SPOKEN)
We did what?
PAUL
WILLIAMS
(SPOKEN)
Just forget
it.
KERMIT/PAUL
Movin right
along…
KERMIT
Hey, L.A.
Where've you gone?
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Send someone
to fetch us
We're in Saskatchewan.
KERMIT/PAUL
Movin right
along
(Doog-a-doon, doog-a-doon)
KERMIT
You take it
you know best
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Hey, I've
never seen the sun come up in the west.
KERMIT/PAUL
Movin right
along…
Movin right
along…
Movin right
along…
Movin right
along…
(APPLAUSE)
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16. SONG: "I'M GOING TO GO BACK THERE
SOMEDAY" (Paul Williams)
(GONZO ENTERS)
GONZO
Hey, guys,
nice job.
PAUL
WILLIAMS, KERMIT
Oh thanks.
KERMIT
Hey, Gonzo.
How about doing that song you did in the Muppet Movie?
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Ah yes, a
wistful little melody. Care to sing it?
GONZO
Only if yodeling
is out of the question.
PAUL/KERMIT
It is.
MUSIC:
I'M GOING TO GO BACK THERE SOMEDAY (LIVE)
GONZO
This looks
familiar,
Vaguely familiar
Almost unreal yet
It's too soon to feel yet.
Close to my soul and yet so far away,
I'm going to go back there someday.
Sun rises,
night falls
Sometimes the sky calls
Is that a song there
And do I belong there?
I've never been there
But I know the way
I'm going to go back there someday.
Come and go with me,
It's more fun to share
PAUL/GONZO/KERMIT
We'll all
be completely
At home in mid-air.
We're flyin', not walkin'
On featherless wings.
We can hold on to love
Like invisible strings.
GONZO
There's not
a word yet,
For old friends who've just met;
Part heaven, part space,
Or have a I found my place?
You can just viist,
But I play to stay.
I'm going to go back there someday.
I'm going to back there someday.
(-2-) PIANO
(APPLAUSE)
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17. SONG: "BLESS US ALL"
(Paul Williams)
(ROBIN ENTERS)
ROBIN
Hi, Mr. Williams.
PAUL WILLIAMS
Hello, Robin.
ROBIN
Could we do
a song from "Muppet Christmas Carol". Tiny Tim was my
biggest part, so to speak.
MUSIC:
"BLESS US ALL" (LIVE)
ROBIN
(CONT'D)
Life is full
of sweet surprises
Every day's a gift
The sun comes up
And I can feel it lift my spirit.
Fills me up with laughter
Fills me up with song
I look into the eyes of love
And know that I belong.
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Bless us all
Who gather here
KERMIT
The loving
family we hold dear
GONZO
No place on
Earth
Compares with home
ROBIN
And every
path will
Bring me back from where I roam.
ALL
Bless us all
with playful years
With noise games and joyful tears
KERMIT/ROBIN
We reach for
you and we stand tall
ALL
And in our
prayers and dreams
We ask you bless us all.
We reach for you and we stand tall
And in our prayers and dreams
We ask you bless us all.
(APPLAUSE)
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18. SONG: "I HOPE THAT SOMETHING BETTER
COMES ALONG" (Paul Williams)
(ROWLF AND
SAL ENTER)
SAL
Hey! Rowlf's
got one!! Rowlf's got one and I'm gonna sing it with 'em!
(TO ORCESTRA)
Hey you guys,
hit it!
MUSIC:
I HOPE THAT SOMETHING BETTER COMES ALONG (LIVE)
ROWLF
You can't
live with 'em.
You can't live without 'em.
SAL
There's something
irresistible-ish
About 'em.
PAUL
We grin and
bear it
Cause the nights are long.
PAUL/ROWLF/SAL
I hope that
something better comes along
GONZO
It's no good
complainin
And pointless to holler.
KERMIT
If she's a
beauty
She'll get under your collar.
PAUL
WILLIAMS
She made a
monkey out of old King Kong
PAUL/KERMIT/GONZO
I hope that
somethin better comes along
KERMIT
Still tis'
fun when you're fetchin
And agree to see an etching
That you keep at your lily pad.
ROBIN
There is no
solution.
It's part of evolution.
SAL
Pitter patter
of souls
PAUL
WILLIAMS
The little
feet of tadpoles.
KERMIT
(SPOKEN)
Uh, tadpoles
don't have feet.
PAUL
WILLIAMS
(SPOKEN)
Oh, sorry
about that…2,3,4.
ROBIN
There's no
limitation
To mixin and matchin
ROWLF
Some get an
itchen for a critter
They've been scratchin.
GONZO/KERMIT
A skunk was
badgered
The results were strong.
PAUL/ROWLF/SAL
I hope that
somethin better…
PAUL/KERMIT/GONZO
I hope that
somethin better…
ROBIN/ALL
I hope that
somethin better comes along
(APPLAUSE)
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19. SONG: "WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA"
(Paul Williams)
ROBIN
Hey, Mr. Williams,
what was the first Muppet project you ever worked on?
PAUL
WILLIAMS
"Emmett
Otter's Jugband Christmas". And there's a lovely little tune
in there that's perfect for you.
MUSIC:
"WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA" (LIVE)
ROBIN
When the mountain
touches the valley,
All the clouds are taught to fly,
Thus our souls will leave this land
Most peacfully
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Tho' our minds
be filled with questions
In our hearts we'll understand
(ELMO ENTERS,
SINGING)
PAUL/ELMO/ROBIN
When the river
meets the sea.
ALL
Elmo!
ELMO
Hello, everybody!
Elmo love this song too!
ROBIN
Will you sing
it with us?
ELMO
You bet. Elmo
not leave "Sesame Street" for nothing.
(SONG RESUMES)
ELMO
(CONT'D)
Like a flower
that has blossomed
In the dry and barren sand.
GONZO
We are born
and born again
Most gracefully.
ALL
Gracefully…
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Thus the winds
of time will take us with a sure and steady hand.
ALL
When the river
meets the sea.
When the river meets the sea…
When the river meets the almighty sea.
(APPLAUSE)
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20. SONG: "RAINBOW CONNECTION" (Paul
Williams)
MUSIC:
"RAINBOW CONNECTION (LIVE)
KERMIT
Why are there
so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side.
PAUL
WILLIAMS
Rainbows are
visions,
But only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide…
OTHERS
So we've been
told
And some choose to believe it;
I know they're wrong; wait and see.
Someday we'll find it,
The Rainbow connection,
The loves, the dreamers and me.
All of us under it's spell;
We know that it's probably magic.
(INSTRUMENTAL
BRIDGE)
PAUL
WILLIAMS
(SPOKEN TO
AUDIENCE)
Y'know, over
the years, I got to know Jim Henson pretty well. He always believed
in the goodness of people -- and that tomorrow will bring better
days. We all have to be dreamers.
KERMIT
Sing with
us.
SUPER:
LYRICS BEHIND THEM
(THE FULL
CAST, INCLUDING GUEST STARS, ENTER AND JOIN THE SONG)
At this point the stage is literally filled
with Muppets, including two huge Bossmen Muppets more than thirty
feet tall. It was an incredible sight and everyone on stage continued
to sing with the audience.
ALL
Have you been
half asleep
And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound
That calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be.
Someday we'll find it,
The rainbow connection;
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
KERMIT
La-da-da-da-dee-da-doo…
La-da-dee-da-da-dee-da-doo…
(APPLAUSE)
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21. CURTAIN CALLS
KERMIT
Well, that
just about brings us to the end of our first ever live Muppet
Show… Before we go, I want to thank our very special guests
Brooke Shields, Jon Voight, Paul Williams, Joe Pasquale, and Ray
Charles and his orchestra!! And all the other people who worked
so hard to put on the show. C'mon out everybody!
(APPLAUSE)
Kermit specifically notes that it's "the
OTHER Ray Charles" in the show, which is not noted in the script.
KERMIT
(CONT'D)
And finally,
we thank all of you for helping support Save the Children. After
all these years, we still believe that making people happy is
the best dream of all.
MUSIC:
"MAGIC STORE ENDING" (LIVE)
KERMIT
(CONT'D)
(SINGS)
Life's like
a movie,
Write your own ending
ALL
Keep believing
Keep pretending
We've done just what we set out to do.
Thanks to the lovers,
The dreamers,
And you!!
(APPLAUSE)
KERMIT
(SPOKEN)
See you next
time on The Muppet Show!
(APPLAUSE)
After "Magic Store" Kermit was supposed
to say, "See you next time on The Muppet Show! Yayyy!" However,
the applause was so thunderous at the end of the song, this line
just got left out. No one would have been able to hear it anyway!
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22. MUSIC: CLOSING THEME
MUSIC:
"MUPPET SHOW CLOSING THEME" (LIVE) (CURTAIN CLOSES)
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