The Muppet Christmas Show 2

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Anyway, blah, blah, blah, Christmas joke, Christmas joke, Christmas joke. Here it is.

The Muppet Christmas Show 2
Part 1​

FADE IN inside of a tunnel. It seems dark, but at the same time inviting. The walls and stalactites are made up of smooth, colorful and sparkling stone. In the distance, there is the sound of merrymaking and it is coming closer by the second. A light appears as the sound gets closer and a figure rounds the corner: Red! She is dressed for cold weather, but that’s not slowing her down one bit. She’s barreling down the tunnel at full speed.
　

RED
I’m gonna beat you there!​

　
The other four (Gobo, Mokey, Wembly and Boober) round the corner. Wembley leads the way, swinging a lantern ahead of him on a long stick. Gobo is right behind him, a map and postcard in his hands. Mokey is looking over the stone with awe. Boober has his nose covered with a handkerchief.
　

GOBO
Slow down, Red! You don’t even know
where we’re going!​

　​

However, she’s too far ahead to hear him (and probably wouldn’t pay attention if she was). Gobo turns his attention back to his map, shaking his head.
　

MOKEY
The caves here are so beautiful.​

　
BOOBER
Ugh! But something smells like rotten lima beans.​

　
Wembley turns around to face Gobo, walking backwards and accidentally smacking Gobo in the head with his lantern.
　

WEMBLEY
Sorry. How much farther is it, Gobo?​

　
GOBO
No problem. It’s not too far.​

　​

They come to a place where the tunnels branch off in many directions.
　

GOBO
Let’s see.​

　​

He points to the rightmost tunnel.
　

GOBO
That way…​

　​

Wembley takes a step toward that tunnel.
　

GOBO
(CONT’D)
…leads to a pit of Poison Cacklers.​

　​

Wembley does a quick spin around to face the group again.
　

BOOBER
That explains the smell.​

　
Gobo points to a sloping tunnel ahead of them.

　
GOBO
That way…​

　​

Wembley again spins towards the tunnel Gobo points at and takes a few steps.
　

GOBO
(CONT’D)
…is the end of the Whistling Slide.​

　​

With a sound like a slide whistle (and a mighty WHOOPEE!), Red comes flying out of the tunnel, plowing right into Wembley and sending the lantern flying.
　

RED
Sorry, Wembley.​

　

GOBO
Would you stop goofing around, Red?
We’re going to be late.​

　
RED
So? If Uncle Matt is involved,
it’s going to be boring anyway.​

　
MOKEY
What exactly are we going to be late for, Gobo?​

　
GOBO
Uncle Matt’s postcard didn’t say much about it,
just that we need to get there soon.​

　​

Wembley turns around to face Gobo, walking backwards.

　
WEMBLEY
What do you think it‘s gonna be, Gobo?​

　
GOBO
I don’t know. Knowing Uncle Matt it could be anything​

　
RED
Anything boring!​

　​

They reach a place where the stalactites give way to worn metal pipes, that have been fixed several times over with Band-Aids and chewing gum.

　
GOBO
The end of the tunnel should be around here somewhere.​

　
Wembley turns around just in time to walk smack into a brick wall with a large hole in it.
　

WEMBLEY
(SCRUNCHED)
Found it.​

　​

He pulls himself off the wall and readjusts his nose. Gobo goes over and checks out the hole. It is almost exactly like the one that leads in Doc’s workshop, except that there is something blocking it.

　
GOBO
It’s an entrance to Outer Space!​

　
WEMBLEY
But it’s blocked.​

　
BOOBER
Well, that’s that. Let’s go back now.​

　​

Gobo give the blockage a nudge and it shakes a little.
　

GOBO
It’s moving! Hey, give me a hand!​

　​

Wembly, Mokey and Red crowd around the hole, trying to wedge inside. With one mighty push, the blockage gives way and they all go tumbling out into…

INT: DRESSING ROOM
The wardrobe has been toppled and the four Fraggles are tangled in a heap on top of it. Boober warily rounds the corner and looks around. The four on the wardrobe untangle themselves and clamber off.
　

RED
Where are we?​

　
GOBO
I don’t know. I’ve never heard of
anyplace in Outer Space looking like this.​

　​

There is a sudden rapid knocking on the door and the five jump. In the last thing we expect, the door opens and TRAVELING MATT pokes his head in.
　

TRAVELING MATT
Ah! You’re here. Fifteen second to curtain, nephew Gobo.​

　
And as briskly as he appeared, he’s gone again, shutting the door behind him. Gobo turns to the others in confusion.

GOBO
Fifteen seconds to what?​

　​

CUT TO​

INT: THEATER - STAGE
The familiar title card has been augmented with a hastily pasted sticker to make it read “The Muppet Christmas Show”. With some difficulty (and ripping the sticker in the process) Kermit pops out of the “O” and says:

KERMIT​

It’s the Muppet Christmas Show! With
our very special guests the Fraggles! YAAAY!​

With that the sign goes up revealing the famous arches (not the golden ones). They have been decorated with strands of tinsel garland, blinking Christmas lights and several wreaths. The band kicks up in a yuletide rendition of the theme song, with French horns and ringing bells and new lyrics to match.

CAST​

It’s time to play the music,

And put up Christmas lights,
It’s time to hang the stockings,

On The Muppet Show tonight!​

It’s time to put on fake beards,​

Itchy and snowy white,

It’s time to hitch the reindeer,
On The Muppet Show tonight!​

STATLER
I guess this time of the year,
We should be nice, you know.​

WALDORF

But, even in the winter,​

It’s still an awful show!​

​

　
CAST
But now let’s get things started!​

AUDIENCE

Why don’t you get things started!​

　

KERMIT
It’s time to get things started!
　
CAST
On the most sensational, inspirational
Muppetional, Christmasational!
This is called ‘The Muppet Christmas Show‘!​

Gonzo tries to blow his horn, but is cut off when a rogue snowball flies in and hits him in the side of the head.​

Don't miss part two, coming next Wendsday. ​

​

 

[animalrescuer]

What a way to introduce the Fraggles into the show! And Uncle Matt taking Scooter's job, that's a hilarious touch. I can't wait for the next part!

 

[mbmfrog]

Man that was a great start and to see the Fraggles invovled in thsi years Christmas special was worth it.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Sorry for not getting back to this sooner, but I kind of had myself spread thin over the holidays. Even though it'll be going into the new year, I am planning to finish it, so stay tuned.

And Merry Christmas to one and to all and I...uh...well you hear it every year.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

It may be New Year's Eve, but I started this and, by gum, I'm gonna finish it. So here it is:

The Muppet Christmas Show 2
Part 2​

Backstage has been decked out the same way that it was last year. Garland, wreaths, bows and the like, all capped off by a brilliantly decorated Christmas tree. Kermit stands behind his desk, looking over papers, as Beauregard and the stagehands run around behind him, changing out the scenery. The Electric Mayhem, dressed in parkas and other such cold weather gear, make their way onstage.

Traveling Matt walks up to the desk, tripping over himself as always.

TRAVELING MATT
Ah, Mr. Frog. My nephew and his friends are
here and should be ready shortly.​

KERMIT
That’s great. With everyone around
here getting ready to leave for
Christmas, I could use all the help I can get.​

There is a large CRASH emanating from onstage and a penguin goes whizzing over Kermit’s head, knocking Matt over.
　

KERMIT
Or, maybe, more than that.​

　​

And with that witty remark, Kermit rushes onstage.

CUT TO​

Kermit stands center stage, nodding and waiting for the applause to die down so he can speak.
　

KERMIT
Happy holidays and welcome to our
Second Annual Muppet Christmas Show,
with our very special guests our friends from
Fraggle rock. And speaking of rock, let’s get
the festivities started with Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem!​

The curtains open to reveal the setting and the music starts. Dr Teeth is behind the wheel of a beat-up, old, green pick-up truck. The rest of the band (along with several woodland critters) are in the back. The motor sputters as the background of pine trees and snowdrifts whiz past. It is snowing lightly. A rabbit sits on the hood of the truck, clapping in time to the song that the band is playing, Holiday Road.
　

JANICE
I found out,
Long ago,​

CRITTERS
Oh-oh-oh,
Oh-oh-oh,
Oh,​

JANICE
It’s a long way down,
The holiday road,​

CRITTERS​

Oh-oh-oh,
Oh-oh-oh,
Oh,​

ALL
Holiday ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-od,
Holiday ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-od,​

FLOYD
Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,​

CRITTERS
Oh-oh-oh,
Oh-oh-oh,
Oh,​

FLOYD
Just get on,
That North Pole kick,​

ALL
Holiday ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-od,
Holiday ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-od,
Holiday ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-od,
Holiday ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-od,​

　​

During the musical interlude, the snowstorm picks up and Dr. Teeth turns the on windshield wipers and headlights.
　

JANICE
I found out,
Long ago,​

CRITTERS
Oh-oh-oh,
Oh-oh-oh,
Oh,​

JANICE
It’s a long way down,
The holiday road,​

CRITTERS
Oh-oh-oh,
Oh-oh-oh,
Oh,​

ALL
Holiday ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-od,
Holiday ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-od,
Holiday ro-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-od,
Holiday ro-oh-oh…​

　​

The song comes to an abrupt end when the truck runs into a large candy cane striped post with a sign on it that reads, ‘North Pole’.
　

CUT TO​

Statler and Waldorf sit in their box, both looking a little bored.
　

STATLER
So, they’re actually doing this again?​

WALDORF
It appears so.​

STATLER
Did you bring the tomatoes?​

Waldorf holds up two different bags.

WALDORF
Green or rotten?​

　​

Part 3 due sometime next week.​