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Joggy
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- Joined
- Apr 13, 2002
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A column bij Maarten Schinkel from a Dutch newspaper, as translated by me.
-----------------------
WELCOME TO MUPPET LABS…
… where the future is being made today. My name is Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and today I will show you my latest invention: the capital boiler. But first I shall introduce you to my well appreciated assistant. Say hello to the people, Beaker.
- Meep.
- Okay Beaker. The experiment is ready to start. You stand over there, and give me your credit card. We shall pretend that it's March 2000, the highlight of the internet hype, and you are the hip German company EM.TV, looking for content.
- Meep?
- Content, meaning 'substance'. Is that clear? Well, I will play the heirs of Jim Henson, founding father of the Muppets, and I am selling you the Muppet Show for 680 million dollars.
- Meep!
- No no, Beaker! Don't back out! Give me that credit card! Good. 680 dollars off, and now we put Beaker, together with his latest acquisition, into the capital boiler, which will simulate the past three years in a few minutes. Are you comfy in there? Then I will call in some professional help for the boiling down. Chef?
- Smørgås?
- Ah, there you are. You know what to do.
- Dålska de pånne, e de bøiler.
- Well remembered. And the ingredients?
- Dada. Ørste de Cøntente silviatøthe in de pånne, ende Endemølle. Dånne snøfje Telefønica. Dan, wåp, KPN in, ebitdå sausie UPC, edde vøøøøøøry expünsive licentiå umts. (Dutch economic humour)
- Excellent, excellent.
- Wånt Bøønstrå? (more Dutch humor)
- No, that turned out to be a mistake in the recipe. Well, go ahead. Turn on the capital boiler.
- Seår nøw…
- Meep!
- Don't be such a sissy in there, Beaker! In the name of science!
- (Chef stirs and sings) Hålsjkedieke shrinka de børse, lålå, fritüre de kåpitååål, mukmukmuk!
- Not too much, not too much, or it might shrink too…
- Undamørk, bjørk… døne!
- Thank you, Chef. Ladies and gentlemen, I shall now remove the lid and grab inside the capital boiler. And looky here! Beaker and his Muppet Show are now shrunken to a value of only 89 million dollars…
- Meep, meep, méép!
- … which is a shrinkage of 87 percent! With which we have now succeeded to simulate the resale of the Muppet Show by EM.TV to the heirs of Jim Henson for 89 million dollar, in our laboratory. Thanks for sacrificing your savings, Beaker. Beaker? Stop lying around! Say something!
-----------------------
WELCOME TO MUPPET LABS…
… where the future is being made today. My name is Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and today I will show you my latest invention: the capital boiler. But first I shall introduce you to my well appreciated assistant. Say hello to the people, Beaker.
- Meep.
- Okay Beaker. The experiment is ready to start. You stand over there, and give me your credit card. We shall pretend that it's March 2000, the highlight of the internet hype, and you are the hip German company EM.TV, looking for content.
- Meep?
- Content, meaning 'substance'. Is that clear? Well, I will play the heirs of Jim Henson, founding father of the Muppets, and I am selling you the Muppet Show for 680 million dollars.
- Meep!
- No no, Beaker! Don't back out! Give me that credit card! Good. 680 dollars off, and now we put Beaker, together with his latest acquisition, into the capital boiler, which will simulate the past three years in a few minutes. Are you comfy in there? Then I will call in some professional help for the boiling down. Chef?
- Smørgås?
- Ah, there you are. You know what to do.
- Dålska de pånne, e de bøiler.
- Well remembered. And the ingredients?
- Dada. Ørste de Cøntente silviatøthe in de pånne, ende Endemølle. Dånne snøfje Telefønica. Dan, wåp, KPN in, ebitdå sausie UPC, edde vøøøøøøry expünsive licentiå umts. (Dutch economic humour)
- Excellent, excellent.
- Wånt Bøønstrå? (more Dutch humor)
- No, that turned out to be a mistake in the recipe. Well, go ahead. Turn on the capital boiler.
- Seår nøw…
- Meep!
- Don't be such a sissy in there, Beaker! In the name of science!
- (Chef stirs and sings) Hålsjkedieke shrinka de børse, lålå, fritüre de kåpitååål, mukmukmuk!
- Not too much, not too much, or it might shrink too…
- Undamørk, bjørk… døne!
- Thank you, Chef. Ladies and gentlemen, I shall now remove the lid and grab inside the capital boiler. And looky here! Beaker and his Muppet Show are now shrunken to a value of only 89 million dollars…
- Meep, meep, méép!
- … which is a shrinkage of 87 percent! With which we have now succeeded to simulate the resale of the Muppet Show by EM.TV to the heirs of Jim Henson for 89 million dollar, in our laboratory. Thanks for sacrificing your savings, Beaker. Beaker? Stop lying around! Say something!
