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Lost Ernie and Bert sketches

SesameMike

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Have any of these sketches starring Ernie and/or Bert appeared on YouTube?

-- Pumpkin seed candy
E divides up the candy, presumably in his favor.

-- Get the newspaper
B asks E to buy a newspaper at Hooper's store. He brings a flashlight in case it gets dark (it's morning), an umbrella (no clouds to speak of), and other things to travel the half-block to Hooper's. E then asks for some bubble gum in case he encounters a bear on the way.

-- "Help"
B is reading a newspaper, and E asks him how to spell "Help" to make a sign. After that, B realizes E must be in trouble, and he's just reading the paper, not getting involved. In a panic, B runs over to help E, but the sign actually read "Help Yourself"

-- Library book
B brings home a book from the library. E cannot read it because "the words look funny" (it's upside-down)

-- Bottle cap collection
B shows it off, whereupon E completes it with "Figgy Fizz"

-- Peppermint stick
Another sketch where there's an uneven amount of food product, but this time, E is the victim. E and another Muppet (Farley"?) each have candy sticks. But Cookie Monster notices that they are unevenly sized, so he eats each one down, alternately, ("You're eating my peppermint stick!") until each has about 2 inches left.

-- Time for our checker game! I'm here!
After E startles B about a scheduled checker game, B inadvertently makes E think he's "not here", and E desperately searches for himself. This one ends in a snare-drum march.

-- No pigeons?
B is about to watch his favorite TV show. He turns on the telly, and a voice says "The Wonderful World of Pigeons will not be seen today...", making B sad.

-- TV routine
Not sure of this one, but in this case we actually saw the TV screen on (it was usually faced away from us), then turned off with that "little white dot" disappearing in the center of the screen, as was common in 60s-early 70s TV sets.

-- Paper clip collection
E asks B to imagine if, hypothetically of course, E was playing with his favorite paper clip collection, and lost it down a sewer/storm drain. We saw B's trademark "mrrr-ehhhh" mad routine.

-- A present for me?
B gift wraps a present, but E mistakenly thinks it's for him. He tries to guess its contents.

-- Tall, taller, and tallest
After E and B represent tall and taller respectively, Big Bird enters the apartment for tallest, but not without knocking over a coffee table and gouging a hole in the ceiling.

-- Ice cube collection
E is about to show off his ice cube collection (which he put in a box under an electric blanket), but E is unpleasantly surprised at their current condition) This one is/was on YouTube, in Hebrew.

-- Milk and cookie
E fixes a milk and cookie snack, but Cookie Monster keeps absconding with the goods.

-- Ernie cleans up
This is 2 part skit. Part 1, B asks E to clean up the apartment, which he begins. Part 2 starts with the place clean, but E has one more item to clean: his toybox. He opens it and cleans it by throwing the contents hither and thither, much to B's chagrin.

-- The Ernie chain
E makes a chain into all kinds of different shapes. B, who's ready for lunch, asks E to make it into a bologna sandwich.

-- Ernie's Barber Shop (3 parts)
Part 1: E has a barber shop, and takes B as his first customer. E crops off all of B's hair.
Part 2: E puts a hat on B (which keeps him from seeing straight), and at some point gives him a book (to read while waiting for hair to regrow). Finally E applies a huge wig and a beard, causing a passing monster to think B is his father, and pulls B home with him.
Part 3: B returns to the shop, with hair regrown! But B answers only in nods and head-shakes. When pressed to say something B says "Coo-kie" in CM's voice.

-- Baseball in the rain
E is sobbing because his baseball game was called off due to rain. B suggests he imagine the game instead, which E does. In said game, E hits a long homer that lands in the ocean.

-- Ernie fingers
This takes place in "Ernie's room", same place as the laundry skit. E bets B a banana that he can't do 10 different things with his fingers. He can only think of 9, B takes the banana, and E waves goodbye; wait, that's ten!

-- Ernie "buys" air
E buys a bottle of air from Lefty, who pours the contents into E's hand. When E shows it to B, E "lost" it, and B says it couldn't have vanished into thin air. "Yes, it could" says E.

-- Share the cookie
B is about to eat a cookie, when E arrives and wheedles B into sharing it with him.

-- What happened here?
E shows B some drawings, to ask "what happened here". After some gimmes like an open bird cage (bird flew out). E shows a blank picture. It was a cow eating grass. No grass (cow ate it), no cow (went home afterwards). "Why should SHE stay around"

-- What happens next?
In a similar manner, B shows E some drawings. But E instead concocts an impromptu story around the contents of each one. He is sad about the first story, laughing about the second, and proud about the third. B asks E to judge each picture by "what YOU see" The last pic has a car about to drive over a nail. What happens next is "a monster is going to say 'cookie'"; What "he saw" was Cookie Monster standing behind Bert.

-- Just say NO, Herry
Herry Monster shows E a sign and bets him he can't make him say the word on it. E replies "No you can't" (the sign read "NO"). E asks for the sign to try it on B, but not only does B not fall for it, but instead turns the tables on E. ("No, that doesn't count...")


-- Everything's coming up noses
B feels a sneeze coming on, but E gets a hanky. B sneezes his nose off.

-- Department store
Obscure, and I forgot most of the details. A salesman in a department store tries pitching a product to E. E isn't buying, though, since B was the one in the market for it. When B comes into the picture, he says "Ernie? Oh there you are."

-- Blowin in the fuse
E and B try to one up each other with noisy appliances such as a TV and record player, and even turn on a blender (mixer?) for the noise. A loud cacophony ensues, then they blow a fuse.

-- I feel a draft
B feels a draft, so E puts grandma's shawl on B's shoulder. That's sufficient, but E continues against B's will by putting a hat, scarf, gloves, etc., until B is "broiling hot". So E brings an ice pack, opens a window, and turns on a fan.

-- Happy and mad
E, B, and a live kid have a casual discussion about how they each express their emotions. For laughing, the kid just laughs, E does his "ke-he-he..", and B does his patented machine-gun laugh. Then for mad, B does his trademarked "mrrr-ehhh" sound, while the kid and E can't quite produce a convincing effect.

-- A day at the zoo
E returns from the zoo, and B wants to know what happened there. E says nothing really happened, save a teeny-weeny scrape that he got on his finger. When B presses him for more info, E describes somewhat dispassionately the utter chaos that took place at the zoo that day.

-- Emotions in the rain
Outside in the rain somewhere, E is under an umbrella and runs into B. E describes 3 different emotions about the rain: happy (it waters the plants and flowers), sad (cancelled ball games and such), and mad (can't take his bike to the zoo, as planned). B has a different emotion: E has his umbrella.

-- Ernie's team
For as often as E talks about playing contact sports, for once we see him with a baseball team.
Ernie is outfitting a team with caps, but keeps putting the wrong size caps on the players. Once his team is outfitted, We see the rough-looking captain of the opposing team. E thinks it looks like rain and/or wants to postpone the game.

-- Loud and quiet
E asks B to demonstrate the difference between loud and quiet. B whispers "This is very quiet" E can't hear, asks B to repeat. B whispers "This is very quiet". E still can't hear. Then B angrily yells "THIS IS VERY QUIET!" Not quite quiet, that was.

-- Sorry, wrong number
E takes a phone call as B listens on. A multi-emotional drama follows involving a picnic, a sudden rainstorm, and a gorilla stealing a bologna sandwich and carrying the caller home on his shoulders.

-- Truckers onion
B shows E his new toy dump truck. B makes it clear he will not let E play with it since he's prone to breaking his new toys. But then B notices E crying, and thinks it's for that reason, but it's actually because all along E was slicing up some onions.

All summaries are to the best of my recollection.
 

mikebennidict

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The one where Ernie does mess up the apartment to find a note is on youtube.
 

minor muppetz

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At Muppet Wiki there is a scan of something from the CTW Archives, showing test results for a number of sketches in the second season. One sketch listed is "Ernie and the candy salesman". I haven't heard of any such sketch, but I assume Lefty is the candy salesman (right above the mention of this sketch, there is a sketch listed as "Ernie and the air salesman", most likely the sketch where Lefty sold air).
 

sesameguy

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Nice list, SesameMike. I know that at least two of those sketches ("Sorry, wrong number" and "a day at the zoo") were included in the Noggin episodes, so hopefully some YouTube and Sesame fan out there has those. The rest are rare but classic- The Bert's Bottle caps skit is a favorite, as is the one where Bert gets angry about the idea of losing his paper clips. Hopefully someday we'll see those again!
 

minor muppetz

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The skit about Bert's bottle caps is transcribed at Tough Pigs, in the Ernie and Bert Anthology, so I guess that would means that Danny Horn has a copy. I don't know if Danny Horn has or would upload anything on You Tube, though. But maybe he's made trades regarding that clip with people who do upload things onto You Tube.
 

SesameMike

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Ernie cleaning up the apartment

Just to clarify the different skits about Ernie and cleaning up their pad.

-- Beginning with a mess, B tells E to put his toys away. E decides he will only put certain toys away, such as the red ones, etc., and at the end only puts away the toy fire engine.

-- Beginning with a mess, B tells E to clean up. E bets B his lunchtime dessert that he can't clean the place up inside of 20 seconds. (Note that cleaning up in this case consists of little more than tossing the junk off the wall.)

-- Beginning with a clean place, E tells B he has an important note but can't seem to find it. E turns the place upside-down looking for the note, then tosses the contents of the clothes hamper around, with colorful "whee" sound effects. The note is found, which tells B that it's his turn to clean up the apartment.

-- Beginning with a mess, B tells E to clean up. E starts cleaning up as the scene closes. In Scene 2, B is impressed as E is dusting off the top of the wall or something. Then E starts to clean out his toybox. To the sound of music, E looks at each item (including a letter of the alphabet, or was it a number, and his own paper-clip collection -- essentially just a long chain of them bunched up) then tosses it anywhere. Scene ends with a frustrated B as stuff is being thrown all over the place, forming a mess once again.
 

BertsNose

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Have any of these sketches starring Ernie and/or Bert appeared on YouTube?

-- Pumpkin seed candy
E divides up the candy, presumably in his favor.

-- Get the newspaper
B asks E to buy a newspaper at Hooper's store. He brings a flashlight in case it gets dark (it's morning), an umbrella (no clouds to speak of), and other things to travel the half-block to Hooper's. E then asks for some bubble gum in case he encounters a bear on the way.

-- "Help"
B is reading a newspaper, and E asks him how to spell "Help" to make a sign. After that, B realizes E must be in trouble, and he's just reading the paper, not getting involved. In a panic, B runs over to help E, but the sign actually read "Help Yourself"

-- Library book
B brings home a book from the library. E cannot read it because "the words look funny" (it's upside-down)

-- Bottle cap collection
B shows it off, whereupon E completes it with "Figgy Fizz"

-- Peppermint stick
Another sketch where there's an uneven amount of food product, but this time, E is the victim. E and another Muppet (Farley"?) each have candy sticks. But Cookie Monster notices that they are unevenly sized, so he eats each one down, alternately, ("You're eating my peppermint stick!") until each has about 2 inches left.

-- Time for our checker game! I'm here!
After E startles B about a scheduled checker game, B inadvertently makes E think he's "not here", and E desperately searches for himself. This one ends in a snare-drum march.

-- No pigeons?
B is about to watch his favorite TV show. He turns on the telly, and a voice says "The Wonderful World of Pigeons will not be seen today...", making B sad.

-- TV routine
Not sure of this one, but in this case we actually saw the TV screen on (it was usually faced away from us), then turned off with that "little white dot" disappearing in the center of the screen, as was common in 60s-early 70s TV sets.

-- Paper clip collection
E asks B to imagine if, hypothetically of course, E was playing with his favorite paper clip collection, and lost it down a sewer/storm drain. We saw B's trademark "mrrr-ehhhh" mad routine.

-- A present for me?
B gift wraps a present, but E mistakenly thinks it's for him. He tries to guess its contents.

-- Tall, taller, and tallest
After E and B represent tall and taller respectively, Big Bird enters the apartment for tallest, but not without knocking over a coffee table and gouging a hole in the ceiling.

-- Ice cube collection
E is about to show off his ice cube collection (which he put in a box under an electric blanket), but E is unpleasantly surprised at their current condition) This one is/was on YouTube, in Hebrew.

-- Milk and cookie
E fixes a milk and cookie snack, but Cookie Monster keeps absconding with the goods.

-- Ernie cleans up
This is 2 part skit. Part 1, B asks E to clean up the apartment, which he begins. Part 2 starts with the place clean, but E has one more item to clean: his toybox. He opens it and cleans it by throwing the contents hither and thither, much to B's chagrin.

-- The Ernie chain
E makes a chain into all kinds of different shapes. B, who's ready for lunch, asks E to make it into a bologna sandwich.

-- Ernie's Barber Shop (3 parts)
Part 1: E has a barber shop, and takes B as his first customer. E crops off all of B's hair.
Part 2: E puts a hat on B (which keeps him from seeing straight), and at some point gives him a book (to read while waiting for hair to regrow). Finally E applies a huge wig and a beard, causing a passing monster to think B is his father, and pulls B home with him.
Part 3: B returns to the shop, with hair regrown! But B answers only in nods and head-shakes. When pressed to say something B says "Coo-kie" in CM's voice.

-- Baseball in the rain
E is sobbing because his baseball game was called off due to rain. B suggests he imagine the game instead, which E does. In said game, E hits a long homer that lands in the ocean.

-- Ernie fingers
This takes place in "Ernie's room", same place as the laundry skit. E bets B a banana that he can't do 10 different things with his fingers. He can only think of 9, B takes the banana, and E waves goodbye; wait, that's ten!

-- Ernie "buys" air
E buys a bottle of air from Lefty, who pours the contents into E's hand. When E shows it to B, E "lost" it, and B says it couldn't have vanished into thin air. "Yes, it could" says E.

-- Share the cookie
B is about to eat a cookie, when E arrives and wheedles B into sharing it with him.

-- What happened here?
E shows B some drawings, to ask "what happened here". After some gimmes like an open bird cage (bird flew out). E shows a blank picture. It was a cow eating grass. No grass (cow ate it), no cow (went home afterwards). "Why should SHE stay around"

-- What happens next?
In a similar manner, B shows E some drawings. But E instead concocts an impromptu story around the contents of each one. He is sad about the first story, laughing about the second, and proud about the third. B asks E to judge each picture by "what YOU see" The last pic has a car about to drive over a nail. What happens next is "a monster is going to say 'cookie'"; What "he saw" was Cookie Monster standing behind Bert.

-- Just say NO, Herry
Herry Monster shows E a sign and bets him he can't make him say the word on it. E replies "No you can't" (the sign read "NO"). E asks for the sign to try it on B, but not only does B not fall for it, but instead turns the tables on E. ("No, that doesn't count...")


-- Everything's coming up noses
B feels a sneeze coming on, but E gets a hanky. B sneezes his nose off.

-- Department store
Obscure, and I forgot most of the details. A salesman in a department store tries pitching a product to E. E isn't buying, though, since B was the one in the market for it. When B comes into the picture, he says "Ernie? Oh there you are."

-- Blowin in the fuse
E and B try to one up each other with noisy appliances such as a TV and record player, and even turn on a blender (mixer?) for the noise. A loud cacophony ensues, then they blow a fuse.

-- I feel a draft
B feels a draft, so E puts grandma's shawl on B's shoulder. That's sufficient, but E continues against B's will by putting a hat, scarf, gloves, etc., until B is "broiling hot". So E brings an ice pack, opens a window, and turns on a fan.

-- Happy and mad
E, B, and a live kid have a casual discussion about how they each express their emotions. For laughing, the kid just laughs, E does his "ke-he-he..", and B does his patented machine-gun laugh. Then for mad, B does his trademarked "mrrr-ehhh" sound, while the kid and E can't quite produce a convincing effect.

-- A day at the zoo
E returns from the zoo, and B wants to know what happened there. E says nothing really happened, save a teeny-weeny scrape that he got on his finger. When B presses him for more info, E describes somewhat dispassionately the utter chaos that took place at the zoo that day.

-- Emotions in the rain
Outside in the rain somewhere, E is under an umbrella and runs into B. E describes 3 different emotions about the rain: happy (it waters the plants and flowers), sad (cancelled ball games and such), and mad (can't take his bike to the zoo, as planned). B has a different emotion: E has his umbrella.

-- Ernie's team
For as often as E talks about playing contact sports, for once we see him with a baseball team.
Ernie is outfitting a team with caps, but keeps putting the wrong size caps on the players. Once his team is outfitted, We see the rough-looking captain of the opposing team. E thinks it looks like rain and/or wants to postpone the game.

-- Loud and quiet
E asks B to demonstrate the difference between loud and quiet. B whispers "This is very quiet" E can't hear, asks B to repeat. B whispers "This is very quiet". E still can't hear. Then B angrily yells "THIS IS VERY QUIET!" Not quite quiet, that was.

-- Sorry, wrong number
E takes a phone call as B listens on. A multi-emotional drama follows involving a picnic, a sudden rainstorm, and a gorilla stealing a bologna sandwich and carrying the caller home on his shoulders.

-- Truckers onion
B shows E his new toy dump truck. B makes it clear he will not let E play with it since he's prone to breaking his new toys. But then B notices E crying, and thinks it's for that reason, but it's actually because all along E was slicing up some onions.

All summaries are to the best of my recollection.
I don't know if its against the rules to bump old threads or if you even come to the forum anymore. I found some of the sketches you mentioned. I probably wasn't born yet when most of these aired and only found them recently because I love the Ernie and Bert skits so much. I thought I would attempt to find the sketches you mentioned just in case you or someone else is looking for them. Unfortunately I could only find Ernie's fingers in Portuguese.

1. Bert's Sneeze


2. Ernie and Bert blow a fuse


3. Bert feels a draft


4. The only skit I could find with candy is with Ernie dividing licorice candy between him and Bert. I'm not sure if that was what you were looking for.


5. Loud and Quiet


6. Ernie imagines a baseball game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbw858y7uGw

7. Ice Cube Collection (English)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lCLdGAabJ0

8. This is all I could find of Ernie's Barber Shop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hou8AyxWTYw

9. Ernie's milk and cookies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWVv0Ob_844

10. Bert shares his cookie with Ernie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-QOeqfnYyA

11. A day at the zoo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-QOeqfnYyA

12. Ernie cleans for dessert

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euMAKJuUoJw

13. Ernie cleans up (don't know why its in black and white but I think its kind of cool.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c114RCwdeyI

14. Ernie puts away the red fire engine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvTFv5xJUQc

15. Is Ernie here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCsNhG771aU

16. Ernie's phone call

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4Srzqhu-vM

17. Ernie and Bert in the rain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXVFWNSEW-M

18. Ernie tries to guess the present

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9h4YQA3_JWQ

19. Ernie buys air from Lefty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LiPFf_uL3M

20. Tall, Taller, Tallest (with Big Bird)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y26DrpFvaLU

21. What happened here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2LvodzE2Ck

22. What happens next

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2At8n_c4qo&spfreload=10

23. Herry Monster and the "No" sign

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m88eILM18bc


24. Ernie finds the "Figgy Fizz" bottle cap

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ls2vNfQxyc

25. Ernie loses Bert's paperclip collection

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVLCXtG5HZ8

26. Ernie's chain of shapes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElcGPSvjCM4
 

fuzzygobo

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There are two from Seasons 2 or 3 I would love to see again. Both take place in the bedroom with Bert trying to sleep, but Ernie's talking drives Bert to chronic insomnia.

1. Ernie discussing different shapes (squares, triangles, etc.) how many sides and corners they have. Then Ernie stumps us with a profound question: How many sides does a circle have? One side? Lots of sides? Or no sides at all? As Ernie falls asleep, Bert is left awake to ponder this one. (If each degree was a side, the answer would be 360).

2. What will we do tomorrow, Bert? In bed with the lights out, Ernie is hemming and hawing over if he wants to go to the zoo tomorrow. He wants a balloon at the zoo, but is afraid he'll let it go and it will fly away. Bert agrees with anything Ernie wants, just to get some shuteye.
Finally, after much deliberation, it is decided to make a trip to the zoo tomorrow.

Ernie: What day is it tomorrow?
Bert: (groggy) Wednesday, Ernie.
Ernie: The zoo is closed on Wednesdays. What will we do tomorrow, Bert?

Poor Bert looked like he was about to have a stroke.

If hooperfan ever comes across these, you won't be able to wipe the smile off my face.
 

Oscarfan

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There are two from Seasons 2 or 3 I would love to see again. Both take place in the bedroom with Bert trying to sleep, but Ernie's talking drives Bert to chronic insomnia.

1. Ernie discussing different shapes (squares, triangles, etc.) how many sides and corners they have. Then Ernie stumps us with a profound question: How many sides does a circle have? One side? Lots of sides? Or no sides at all? As Ernie falls asleep, Bert is left awake to ponder this one. (If each degree was a side, the answer would be 360).

2. What will we do tomorrow, Bert? In bed with the lights out, Ernie is hemming and hawing over if he wants to go to the zoo tomorrow. He wants a balloon at the zoo, but is afraid he'll let it go and it will fly away. Bert agrees with anything Ernie wants, just to get some shuteye.
Finally, after much deliberation, it is decided to make a trip to the zoo tomorrow.

Ernie: What day is it tomorrow?
Bert: (groggy) Wednesday, Ernie.
Ernie: The zoo is closed on Wednesdays. What will we do tomorrow, Bert?

Poor Bert looked like he was about to have a stroke.

If hooperfan ever comes across these, you won't be able to wipe the smile off my face.

the other's in German, however:

 
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