Eight Ball Rhumba

[WebMistressGina]

I know, you're probably wondering where's that sequel for Monday Morning Meeting that I promised. Well, I did indeed start it, however this idea - which came to me because I just really wanted to use a particular song in some Muppet story - fleshed itself during a nap today and if I know my brain, it wasn't going to last long, so I started writing.

And, after the weekend I had, I kinda wanted something fun and goofy to work on. So here is a new little fic called the Eight Ball Rhumba! YAAAAAAAY!

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Eight Ball Rhumba​

Prologue​

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He couldn’t believe it.

He couldn’t truly believe what he was seeing, but there it was, in black, white, and color; with bolded letters and lines, streams of colorful and expertly placed decorative swirls that denoted to the reader that this was going to be the best thing ever and that if they were anyone, they would be there.

Right there, on the flyer that was clipped to the clipboard in his hands, in what he could only imagine were the signature colors of purples and blues that must have signified the establishment, stated that the seventh annual Cool Pool Tournament semi-finals would be held this Sunday night.

Starting at eight o’clock.

To be seen and played at the Muppet Theatre.

“I’m really sorry, Kermit.”

Kermit the Frog, the head of the Muppets and the director – and some would say gatekeeper of behavior – for the Muppet Show, looked up from the beaten and battered clipboard to that of his right hand man and stage manager for the theater. His face must have shown the shock and surprise that he felt, because the stage manager sagged once again, the first time being when he had presented the frog with the clipboard in the first place.

Kermit wasn’t really sure what emotion he was even feeling at the moment; surprise that there was a pool tournament scheduled on the same night, at the same time, on the same stage that they would be holding a show? Shock that his assistant – usually so efficient and overly ahead of schedule that Kermit was sure that he had their entire schedules planned out for several years – had made such a huge error in judgment?

“I really am sorry, Boss,” Scooter Grosse again stated. Even he had been quite surprised at the error in his normally effective and highly praised work. When he had first approached his boss about renting out the theater while they were in their downtime, he had thought it would only be for the short time that they were on hiatus. The ultimate idea, of course, was to use that as an excuse to rent out the theater in the case they did another movie; it meant extra revenue to cover their normal expenses, like production costs, wardrobe, and hospital bills.

“We can’t do this,” Kermit stated.

“But we can!” the former go-fer insisted. “Kermit, we can’t cancel both events! You should see the ticket sales that have come in for both shows!”

“Really?” the frog questioned. That did make him perk up some; goodness knew that they could always stand to get more ticket sales in order to cover the costs for production, wardrobe, and hospital bills. “The show sold a ton of tickets?”

There was hesitancy in the response and Scooter hoped above anything that Kermit hadn’t noticed. “Sure,” he said, laughing slightly. “And on top of that, the tournament is a charity event, with seventy percent of the proceeds going to a charity of the winner’s choosing.”

“What about…?”

“I’ve already informed everyone who was scheduled that they would need to work around the pool tables on stage.”

“Yeah, but…”

“And I made sure as soon as I knew about the timing that everyone came in for a quick dress rehearsal,” Scooter continued.

That wasn’t a complete lie; he did make sure that anyone who had an act for that week’s show was informed that there would be an obstacle of various pool tables and players. He didn’t really need to mention that he had been aware of said timing for a week and a half and that now, he was Fozzie’s official pre-joke audience for the next six months.

Kermit opened his mouth to say something, but found that – as always – Scooter had managed to foresee problems and apply the needed solution before it became something bigger than it needed to be. “Alright, Scooter,” Kermit sighed. “You seem to have everything in hand, as usual.”

The orange Muppet chuckled, slightly. As long as Kermit was in a good mood, hopefully…

“There is one, itty bitty problem, however…” he began. “It’s not exactly a bad issue…”

“I’ve never known of any good issues to happen here.”

“Well…” the assistant laughed, nervously. “It’s not a good issue either, but it’s…it’s mediocre. Yeah, we’ll go with that. It’s a mediocre issue.” Kermit just looked at him suspiciously. “See, um…well…” Clearing his throat, Scooter went on with, “A few of us wanted to do our part, so we’re…sorta…participating in the tournament.”

The Muppet leader didn’t think that sounded too bad; after all, he certainly wasn’t against helping out an organization, especially one that was donating or raising money for a particular charity. From the way Scooter was looking at him, he actually thought perhaps the stage manager thought he would be angry with the participation, but only at the last moment did Kermit notice two things.

One, Scooter was looking at him but was always glancing at the clipboard in his hands and two, came the realization that the flyer was not the only sheet of paper on the clipboard.

With careful trepidation – you always had to be careful when around certain Muppets anyways – Kermit lifted the top sheet and flipped it over to reveal what he could easily identify as Scooter’s handwriting. The second sheet was laid out in the familiar looking bracket formation that one would use for sporting events, like March Madness. A yellow post-it note was stuck to the top that denoted the acts that were not participating in the tournament; that was a bit troubling to Kermit, as there only seemed to be three acts out of the nine acts that were supposedly scheduled not planning on being in the tournament.

Names of Muppets and pool players alike graced the page below the note, which were printed out on the lines, however it was Scooter’s handwriting that identified which act Muppet participants belonged to.

The little fuse that kept the tight rein on Kermit’s anger, annoyance, and frustration sparked at that moment and in the time it took for Kermit to review the listings for both the doubles and the singles competition, the fuse was completely lit and headed towards the volcano like dynamite that gleefully awaited the charge.

“SCOOTER!”


And there you go! Hey quick question - so I've seen video of the Muppet Show intro when there's no guest star, but I don't think I've come across any episode in which the show actually didn't have a guest star. I was thinking of one in order to tie with the pool tournament, but couldn't think of someone current that also played pool off the top of my head.

So the question is, were there ever episodes of TMS in which they had no guest star? Thanks.

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[The Count]

No... The only episode of TMS that didn't have a specific guest star announced was the live episode/version of the show performed at MuppetFest in 2001. Every episode of the show had a guest star. Muppets Tonight, however, did have the Clip and Cameo shows without a main central guest star.

Ah, Kermit meltdown tierade. Good, that will tide us until the next segment. *Poke.

 

[WebMistressGina]

No... The only episode of TMS that didn't have a specific guest star announced was the live episode/version of the show performed at MuppetFest in 2001. Every episode of the show had a guest star. Muppets Tonight, however, did have the Clip and Cameo shows without a main central guest star.

Shoot. I was afraid of that. Oh well, I'm gonna side on caution and state that, with a pool tournament going on, I think I could get some pool stars in there. OMG, my brain just had an idea! Go brain! Go brain! It's your birthday! Well, I have just solved my problem.

Ole!

Ah, Kermit meltdown tierade. Good, that will tide us until the next segment. *Poke.

I'm sure my brain will be hard at work thinking up ways to completely destroy him.

Speaking of, I asked this in another thread, but because the author I think isn't posting as much, not sure if they will actually respond. So I have a question on the use of characters or ideas from other authors. In most cases, I try to get permission if I want to bother something (and I have always stated that should anyone make use of any of my characters, I'm usually go ahead and spread the love, just tell me about it so I can read it), but depending on what it is, I may or may not go forward if I don't get permission.

I was reading Leyla's "Something Worth Waiting For" (?) and there's a scene she has in regards to Gonzo thinking of the Muppets on a barely floating life raft. The concept is funny in itself, but an idea sparked in my head when I started listening to a particular song and I went, "Tee hee! That would make a funny story!"

So, like I wanted to ask if I could borrow the concept, but not sure if I should get permission or if I should credit (or both).

Oh and more story later today!

 

[The Count]

Hmm... I'd say from posting over the years there are two viewpoints on that.

1 If it's characters you want to borrow from another author's fic for your own project, then yes, you should ask first by either posting in the corresponding thread or contacting the creator directly and then wait to get a reply from them before going forward. Most of us here are generally nonplused when it comes to sharing characters. That's how I've gotten some of the entries for my master monster roster project.
2 When it comes to situational ideas, we pretty much self-reference each other's works with details in our own stories that people who've been reading the other authors' fics will recognize either right away or after a little bit. That's how we ended up developing the city of Hensonville where the majority of at least my own stories take place, though the setting is available to others should they want to use it, so long as they don't end up wrecking the notion of community we've built into it. A good example of this would be ConvincingJohn's The Best Neighbor (save for one chapter where they dispense with the villain in a manner so nafariously scary that it scares even the scariest of us ).

Hope this helps, look forward to reading your stuff.

 

[WebMistressGina]

1 If it's characters you want to borrow from another author's fic for your own project, then yes, you should ask first by either posting in the corresponding thread or contacting the creator directly

Kay. Well, I did make a post about it, which I think was that I enjoyed the lifeboat scene and had a story idea to go with it, but I wasn't sure if Leyla was on a short hiatus or a very very long one.

2 When it comes to situational ideas, we pretty much self-reference each other's works with details in our own stories that people who've been reading the other authors' fics will recognize either right away or after a little bit.

Hope this helps, look forward to reading your stuff.

Okay. I think that is what I will do then. I of course want to give credit where credit is due, cause it's 1. a really good read and 2. one of the funniest scenes (second actually, after the hospital scene with TMM haiku. Of course, now that I think about it, Gonzo's performance with the apology haiku might be second) in the fic itself.

I'm actually about to go and work on Eight Ball right now!

 

[The Count]

Oh good. *Wonders if silliness will be compounded due to Little Chrissy and the Eight Balls of Fur making a cameo appearance.

 

[tutter_fan]

*Thinks to self: "This should be a fun long read!"

I SAY, "BRING..... IT...... ON!!!!!!!"

 

[WebMistressGina]

Chapter I​

“How could I be so incredibly stupid!?”

Lunchtime at the Muppet Theatre could be described as a particular calm before a storm. The cantina, which was located in the lower level of the theatre, served as the usual quick stop for breakfast, lunch, and dinner should anyone deem themselves an appropriate cook. The cantina stayed open pretty much as long as there were a large number of people within the theatre.

For some incomprehensible reason, the resident chef was that of the Swedish Chef, a master of menu and meal madness and mayhem. If he wasn’t chasing down the day’s entrée, he was cooking up things that probably shouldn’t be considered edible in any part of the world.

The only thing that actually saved the cast and crew of the Muppet Show was the dual roles that their resident cook had when he was a member of the cast.

Today’s lunchtime lunacy was actually mild in comparison to the normal chaos that was found during the days that led up to a show. Dress rehearsals in particular were usually met with last minute jitters or changes in scripts or acts, which of course would be changed again about five minutes before said act was to go onto stage.

Seated at one of the round tables that sat in the middle of the room sat several members of the motley Muppet crew. Scooter had been lamenting his decision to schedule a pool tournament on the same night as the show ever since he had realized his mistake; or rather, ever since he realized his mistake and needed to inform their director about the additional clutter that would be on stage. The manager had to admit that Kermit had taken it slightly better than he had thought, though he figured that was due to all the sucking up and flipper kissing he had done in order to prevent his firing.

His lunch companions – resident comedian Fozzie Bear, maniac stuntman and performance artist Gonzo the Great, unprecedented pianist Rowlf the Dog, and leading lady and diva Miss Piggy – had been listening to this rant for nearly ten minutes. While they could understand the headache this would cause them, none of them felt hard up about the whole thing; after all, they would all be participating in the tournament anyway, along with their regularly scheduled acts.

Besides, it came with the territory when you were a Muppet Show cast member.

“Is this tirade gonna go on for much longer?” asked Gonzo. “I’ve got some mayo defrosting in my dressing room.”

“Gonzo,” Fozzie replied, looking at the weirdo. “You don’t have a dressing room.”

“Sure I do!” the blue weirdo insisted. “It’s that room next door to the boiler room in the basement.”

“That’s a broom closet, you fuzzy freak,” Piggy said.

“You say tomato, I say tomato.”

“Great,” Rowlf chuckled. “Let’s call the whole thing off.”

“How close do you think I am to being fired?”

“Are you still talking?” Piggy asked, exasperated. “Scooter, Moi promises that your job is still well intact. I hardly doubt that Mon Capitaine would actually fire you.”

“He needs all the help he can get,” Fozzie added.

“He needs all the strait jackets he can get,” laughed Rowlf.

“Listen Scooter,” Gonzo began. “The idea to hold a pool tournament was a great idea!”

“Really?” asked the go-fer, hopefully. He certainly had thought it was a great idea, at the time.

“Sure!” the stuntman exclaimed. “I’ve always wanted to jump several pool tables on my motorcycle and tonight, the Great Gonzo is going to take that concept to its logical conclusion.”

“Don’t you mean logical concussion?” Fozzie joked. “Ah! Get it!? Wocka wocka!”

“Thanks Gonzo,” Scooter sighed. “But even that doesn’t seem to make what I did right. I mean, what possible, implausible reason would I have to even consider hosting a pool tournament in the theatre!?”

“Hey Scooter.”

Appearing at the young Muppet’s side was a nice looking Whatnot, a lightly orange than that of the go-fer – nearly bordering more on yellow than orange – with shoulder length red hair that was tied up in a ponytail. Her eyes were a lovely emerald green, which matched the green tank top she currently wore.

A crazy thing happened when Scooter saw the Whatnot before him; normally bursting with a quick word or an explanation of the goings on that usually happened with the Muppets, the stage manager suddenly seemed to forget everything there ever was about…well anything. This was quickly noted by his lunch companions, who would later swear that his eyes had been replaced by two large, beating hearts.

“Hello,” he sighed out a greeting, his focus clearly on the new arrival. “Everyone, this is Amanda Cosgrove. She’s the daughter of Cosgrove Cool Pool’s owner and a terrific pool player herself; she organized the tournament.”

Amanda giggled at the praise. “I think he means I’m a decent pool player,” she replied. Placing her hand on the seated Muppet’s shoulder, she continued, “I really wanted to thank you again for letting us use the theatre for the tournament. I’m so sorry that I didn’t realize that we’d be doing it at the same time as the show.”

Scooter’s brain queued up, “Nonsense, Amanda. It was a slight error, but we can work around it; we’ve worked around thousands of obstacles in the past.”

What Scooter’s mouth replied with was, “Ants don’t like cucumbers.”

Shooting an amused look at the assistant, Miss Piggy did what she was best at – taking over the role as spokesperson in the case no one competent could do so. “Nonsense, my dear,” she replied. “It was a silly mistake that is and has been easily rectified. We’ve worked around millions of obstacles in the past; this is small in comparison.”

“It still means a lot,” Amanda gushed. “Especially when many of you are participating in the tournament; that definitely means a lot.” Turning back to Scooter, she gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I can’t thank you enough.”

Scooter wanted and had planned to say, “Think nothing of it. I mean, if you want to be persistent, then I guess you could make it up to us by having dinner with me. Maybe we can work something out where we can help you guys out if you need it.”

What came out of Scooter’s mouth, however, was, “The term diode was coined by William Henry Eccles from the Greek roots of di and ode.”

“The same year that triodes were introduced,” the Whatnot replied. “I’ll see you later.” With a final squeeze to his shoulder, Amanda Cosgrove went off to go handle any final preparations there were to be done for the tournament.


“Nice legs.”

“Eyes above the waist, Gonzo,” Scooter growled, his head whipping quickly from where he was also admiring the retreating figure to that of the stuntman who was never shy in announcing his eye for anything female.

“Likewise,” quipped Piggy.

Realizing that the entire conversation that he did indeed have was the embarrassing one from real time and not the one in his head, Scooter groaned, putting a hand over his eyes. “Fine,” he grumbled. “So I have a bit of a crush.” This of course caused the others to laugh, hysterically. It certainly didn’t help that Fozzie patted him on the back or that Piggy had patted his hand in a show of undisguised enjoyment.

“Of all the people that I wanted around me when I make a complete and utter fool of myself in front of a pretty girl, I get the Peanut Gallery.”

“Better us than those peanut pushers on the street,” Gonzo boasted.

“And besides,” Fozzie added. “This isn’t the first time that you’ve made a complete and utter fool of yourself in front of a pretty girl.”

“Yeah,” Rowlf said, smiling. “This is just the first time that we’ve been around to heckle you about it.”

Scooter said, mirthlessly. “This is going to be a very long night.”

 

[WebMistressGina]

I am on an incredible roll today! Here's the next chapter!

Chapter II​

If dress rehearsals were zany at the Muppet Theatre, the day of a show was a complete and utter madhouse; that is to say that it was as normal a day within the theater. Last minute changes and change ups were common place, however this day was complicated with the presence of several tables that were placed on the stage, along with several different pool patrons who had come early in order to practice.

On top of this, those acts that were not only scheduled to perform, but were also participating in the tournament had to split their time between playing and practicing.

Kermit had the hard task of trying to corral everyone for their rehearsal, as well as keeping his face from scrunching together every five minutes. He had been lulled into a false sense of security with Scooter’s words, but putting that into practice seemed a harsher reality that either of them had completely figured. The frog had to admit that it wasn’t too bad; the stage would be split with stage right as the scene for the tournament, with stage left for that of the show when the time came.

For now, the pool tables were center stage.

Sighing for the umpteenth time in the last two hours, Kermit could already see this set up was not going to work. The worst was the fact that, other than those acts that weren’t participating in the tournament, he hadn’t exactly seen how the other acts were working around the extra baggage on stage. If there was one thing Kermit hated it was that of uncertainty, especially when it came to show time. Other than the list of the performers that were scheduled, the frog had no clue as to what was being performed.
Veterinarian’s Hospital was always a wild card and Fozzie’s material was always hit or miss (usually more miss than hit) and anything that Gonzo did kept him on high alert at all times.


“You still mad, Boss?”

Kermit turned his annoyance into a look that most of the Muppets knew was his ‘barely containing a blow up’ face.

“You’re still mad,” Scooter nodded. “If it’s any consolation…”

“No,” the frog replied. “It’s no consolation. Whatever it is you’re going to say, it definitely is not a consolation.”

“You haven’t even heard what it is yet.”

“Something just tells me it won’t be helpful.”

“Kermit,” the former go-fer said, seriously. “I know I made a huge mistake, but I promise you this will work. Everyone knows what to do and we have everything planned out okay.”

The frog huffed, though it sounded more like a sigh than anything else. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Scooter – he absolutely did! – and it certainly wasn’t that he didn’t think the younger Muppet hadn’t done all that he could to rectify the situation they found themselves; if he was honest, Kermit probably had no idea what it was that annoying him so much right now.

It wasn’t as if the show never had an odd or strange occurrence ever happen. They had put on shows at railway stations, performed in the dark, and had a full out dance contest go on during an actual show; this was just another show that just so happened to have a normal element of utter chaos within it.

This time the Muppet leader did sigh, reaching over and giving his assistant a consoling pat on the shoulder, showing him there were no hard feelings in this regard. “I hope you have an idea for our opening number,” he said.

Scooter smiled widely. As confident as he regularly appeared, he could easily surprise his co-workers and friends when a sudden bout of insecurity hit him or when he felt he had let down someone; it was always worse if he thought he had let down one of his friends. “Was there ever a doubt?”

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“It’s the Muppet Show! YAAAAAAY!”

The familiar logo of the Muppet Show rose into the air as the red curtain opened to reveal the standard white and gold arches. As the monsters walked on stage in order to introduce the chorus through the archways, Kermit made his normal run across the logo board to the plank that connected to that of the second to top walkway in order to run down to his standard position in the center row.

Even with the list of performers who were also playing pool, Kermit could easily tell those who were going to be involved just by the way they were dressed. Passing Link Hogthrob, the frog noticed the blue smoking jacket with the black ascot tied around his neck, while the Swedish Chef had changed his customary white apron and chef’s hat for those that were pin striped instead.

Dr. Teeth was similarly dressed, though in the much more exaggerated fashion that was his signature – he now wore a striped Cat in the Hat style top hat that was purple and black to match that of his standard black leather vest and that of a puffy purple shirt. Making his way to his normal place between Fozzie Bear and Miss Piggy, he noted that even they had dressed for the occasion.

Piggy - who was decked out in a black fedora, a light lavender tie, and black vest with a matching color of lavender on the back satin side - he expected to be dressed for the occasion, however noticing that Fozzie, while still wearing his custom tie, was also wearing a jacket on top of that. “Hi-ho, Kermit!” Fozzie whispered, excitedly.

“Hi-ho, Fozzie,” came the whispered response. “I certainly hope this works.”

“You know, Kermit,” Fozzie said. “I think you worry too much.”

“He does,” Piggy murmured.

“You should be careful, frog of my heart,” the bear continued. “You know we males don’t live very long. Statistics.”

Kermit glanced warily at the comedian before hopping up on the platform before them. Turning his head slightly to his left, he murmured, “You look fantastic, by the way.”

“Ah,” crooned the bear on his left. “Thank you!”

Two pairs of eyes turned to glare at the comedian.

“And here I thought you hadn’t noticed,” replied Piggy.

“If there is one thing I’m practically incapable of doing, Miss Piggy,” came the retort. “It’s ignoring you. Why don’t we get things started?”

The others chimed in with the familiar closing lines.

“On the most sensational,
Inspirational,
Celebrational,
Muppetational!
This is what we call the Muppet Show!”

The logo was once again lowered, this time with Gonzo and his trumpet within the O. When he played, the sound of pool balls clanked together and one literally fell from above, hitting the weirdo on the head, and knocking him cold.

 

[newsmanfan]

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Hey -- where's the betting pool run by Rizzo? He always gives better odds to the rats...

Still trying to wrap my head around the idea of Scooter messing up a schedule. It just doesn't seem at all likely... beyond that, though, intrigued by the comic mayhem possibilities inherent in the pool tourney/Muppet show. More please!

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