Don Music Has a Little Dreidel

[SesameMike]

How would Don Music handle the song "I Have a Little Dreidel"?

Setting: Kermit the Frog appears in Don Music's studio. Don is playing the piano in the background.
Kermit: Hi ho, this is Kermit the Frog here, and we’re here at the studio of Don Music who is busy writing a song for the Hanukkah season. Let’s listen....
Don: (playing piano and singing)
♪♫ I have a little dreidel, I made it out of clay.
And when it’s dry and ready, then dreidel I shall... then dreidel I shall...
Kermit: And dreidel you will what?
Don: "then dreidel I shall..." (stops singing, starts bellowing...)
Oh, I’ll never do it, NEVER!! (bangs his head against the piano keys, producing a loud, off-key chord)
Kermit: Don, don’t do that, you’ll hurt your head.
Don: But I can’t find a word to finish the verse.
Kermit: Well maybe I can help you. What’s the verse again?
Don: “Then dreidel I shall...” See? I can’t figure out what comes next.
Kermit: But dreidels... spin around and around, you know, like a top. Why don’t we try this:
(melodically speaks) “I have a little dreidel, I made it out of clay, and when it’s dry and ready, then dreidel I shall spin.”
Don: But “spin” doesn’t rhyme with “clay”!
Kermit: Does it matter?
Don: Yes, of course it matters.
Kermit: Then let’s try this
(melodically speaks) “I have a little dreidel, I made it out of tin, and when it’s dry and ready, then dreidel I shall spin.”
Don: But have you ever seen a tin dreidel?
Kermit: Well, no. (undertone, to the fourth wall) Not that I’ve ever seen a clay one either. I mean, ceramic is kind of fragile, and dreidels are notorious for falling on the floor. Not to mention that the center of mass would make for an erratic...”
Don: What’s that?
Kermit: Oh, nothing, nothing at all. (ahem)
Don: What about my song?
Kermit: OK, we’ll try this one:
(melodically speaks) “I have a little menorah, I made it out of tin, and when it’s dry and ready, then menorah I shall spin”
Don: You ding-a-ling! You light the menorah, you don’t spin it! And what if it's an oil menorah? You'd get EVOO all over the…
Kermit: Oops, heh-heh, silly me. Then how about this:
(melodically speaks) “I have a little menorah, I made it out of tin, and when it’s dry and ready, then menorah I shall light”
Don: There you go again! “Tin” doesn’t rhyme with “light”.
Kermit: You expect me to know everything? I’m a frog and a reporter, not a professional lyricist.
Don: But I've got to get this song written before Hanukkah. Oy, I feel like I got latkes for brains!
Kermit: Calm down, one more try:
(melodically speaks) “I have a little menorah, I flew it like a kite, and when it’s dry and ready, then menorah I shall light”
Don: BUT MENORAHS CAN’T FLY!!!
Kermit: (shudders in reaction)
Don: I am through as a singer/songwriter. I’ll never do it. NEVER! (bangs his head against the piano keys) Oww...
Kermit: See? I told you you’d hurt yourself if you keep banging your head like that.
Tell you what. Let me give you something to cheer you up. (Produces a paper bag) I got some sufganiyot here. Try one. The rebbetzin made them fresh this morning.
Don: (Takes one from Kermit, and sniffs it. His face lights up.) Oh my gosh, that’s it! I’ll write a song about THAT!
Kermit: (puzzled look) About the rebbetzin?
Don: No no, about those super-golly-o... uhh, what you said.
Kermit: Suf-gan-i-yot. They’re a kind of donut.
Don: Donuts? But they don’t have a hole in them. Though I think I can make a hole in it if I take this conductor's baton...
Kermit: NO NO wait, you’ll get jelly all over your piano keys! They don’t HAVE a hole. You see, they’re jelly donuts and...
Don: All right then (starts singing) “I have a little bagel...”
Kermit: No Don, (chuckle) these are donuts, not bagels. You know, jelly donuts. Who ever heard of a jelly bagel? Or a bagel without a hole?
Don: Oh, I'll try again. (starts singing) "I am a jelly donut..."
Kermit: NO Don, YOU’RE not the donut (whispers to fourth wall) I think this guy is from Berlin.
Don: Achtung! What did you say?
Kermit: Oh nothing, nothing. Look, let me give it one last try.
(melodically speaks) “I have a little donut, it’s made with jelly and wheat, and when it’s fried and ready... sufganiyot I shall eat.”
Don: I like it, I LIKE IT!!! Alright boys!

(From behind the curtain comes a 6-piece jazz band and a couple of backup vocalists. As a projected menorah with flickering multi-colored candles appears on the curtain, Don Music starts singing

(Introductory guitar riff)

♪♫ “I have a little donut
It’s made with jelly and wheat
And when it’s fried and ready
Sufganiyot I shall eat.”

“Yeah, donut donut donut”
(instruments stop)
“It’s quite a tasty treat”
(instruments resume)
“mmm, donut donut donut”

(prolonged top-hat cymbal and bass drum line)

“And sufganiyot, you can be sure that I will eat.”
(Don Music pops one in his mouth while backup vocalists conclude)
Donut donut, sufgan-yot!! ♪♫


And Happy Holidays to all at Muppet Central!