The Quote Thread

"Untie that kid!" - Rob Petrie, Dick Van Dyke Show

(I'm having way too much fun with last night's rerun )

"Doomsday and armageddon had a baby and it is ugly!"

-- Sgt. Calhoun in Wreck-it Ralph

(Ernie, Bert, Cookie Monster, Grover, The Count, and two AM Muppets are seen sitting in the balcony with Statler and Waldorf)
Waldorf: How should we know how to get to Sesame Street?
Statler: We don't even know how to get out of this stupid theater box!
(Statler, Waldorf, and the Sesame Street Muppets all laugh)

(The Muppet Show: Marty Feldman)

I'll admit I quoted it incorrectly,
BBUUUTTTTT..................
Skip to three and minute seven second mark of the video below:


I don't recall the "Not now I just got home from work" quote, but, then again, I haven't watched it consistently since about 2006. I personally found your quote funnier than mine.

Scooter: 'Cute' is his middle name.
Bean Bunny: Actually, it's 'Norman'.

(The Muppets At Walt Disney World)

FAT LADY: The bigger you are, the sexier you are.
MIKE TRAINOR: Who told you that? Was it a plate of bacon? Because that was a lie!

Pat Playjacks: So, let's get right to today's contestants. First from Transylvania, we have Count von Count!
The Count: Hello, Pat.
Pat Playjacks: Hi, Count. And what do you do for a living, Count?
The Count: I count.
Pat Playjacks: Uh-huh. And the Count does. Uh-huh. And do you have a hobby?
The Count: I count.

(Sesame Street: Squeal of Fortune)

"You know, some days, the news should actually say, 'Sorry, we got nothin', then put on a Seinfeld rerun." ~ Kevin McCafferey

Waldorf: What's our prize if we win this dance mararthon?
Statler: Three weeks away from The Muppet Show.

(The Muppet Show: Carol Burnett)

'I'm not crazy! I just don't give a darn!' - Daffy Duck

Rizzo: "God save my little broken body!"

Cosmo: (after he falls into the ground) Yippee! That hurt!
Timmy: No, Cosmo. You're supposed to say "ouch" when something hurts.
Cosmo: Oh, okay. Yippee! That ouched!

(Fairly OddParents: Transparents!)

Ozu's brother, Brozu, has come for a visit:

Gonard: "I don't get it. How can there be two Ozus? Maybe one's a ghost, and one's a mirror!"
-Kappa Mikey

Yakko: Michelle Pfeiffer!
Dot: Mel Gibson!
Wakko: Don Knotts!

- Animaniacs

Veronica: I'm gonna shoot straight: You guys aren't famous anymore.
Fozzie Bear: Yeesh. I wish she'd shot a little more curvy.

(The Muppets)

*Honk* *Honk* *Honk* ~ Snorky

FLEEGLE: Drooper, pleathe read rule #377 from the Banana Splitth Club Code of Conduct Book.
DROOPER: Rule #377 says, "Members of the Banana Splits Club will not engage in any snowball fights in the middle of July".
FLEEGLE: Oh, that'th a thilly rule! Nobody getth into thnowball fightth in July, there ithn't any thnow!
DROOPER: I know it, that's why it's such an easy rule to obey.

Fozzie Bear: Check it out. Fart Shoes!
(Steps on whoopee cousins to make fart sounds)
Mary: This is going to be a really short movie.

(The Muppets trailer)

That's from the trailer, actally.
The line is "This is going to be a really short movie".

I edited it already.