The one Ernie and Bert skit I can never find:

Censored

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It’s Ernie’s turn to go to the store to get a newspaper. He doesn’t want to go, so he makes up a bunch of things he needs for improbable danger he may encounter when going out. Finally, Ernie says he needs bubble gum in case he encounters a polar bear. He will give the polar bear a stick of bubble gum, so he won’t eat him. Unfortunately, they are out of bubble gum, so Bert reluctantly agrees to go buy some for him at Mr. Hooper’s Store. Ernie then adds, “Bert, while you’re there, could you pick up a newspaper?” This prompts Bert to go into a rage and chase Ernie around the apartment. Can’t find it anywhere on Youtube, never saw it on Noggin, DVD’s or anything. Why is this one so elusive?
 

LittleJerry92

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Is there a listing on Muppet wiki with a picture? There's so many skits that I can't keep track of all of them.
 

LittleJerry92

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Oh, that skit.

Yeah, if any rate, I'm willing to bet me won't see that in English unless Sesame Workshop uploads it or more episodes or skits leak cause I highly doubt it aired by the time VCR's came about.
 

Ziffel

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I saw that youtube got that one in German a while ago. Be nice to see that in English again. My highlight from that one was Bert saying in reply to Ernie's, "He's so busy chewing (the bubblegum) that he can't bite you", "That is the DUMBEST thing I have EVER heard."

I saw the Grover serves eggs and bacon one is also up in a different language. Wonder why that one is so elusive too. I saw it a lot in the 70's. Highlight from that one is when the blue guy, who keeps changing his mind, says, "Uh, you might think this is going to sound funny but I changed me mind again!" and Grover replies, "Ohhh I do not think that sounds funny at all!"

Also still looking for some others some day such as the Up Up and Away in my beautiful balloon, David and Maria eating spaghetti (David takes a longggggg time to eat), Bert and Ernie going to sleep but Ernie keeping Bert up (as usual) by wondering what they're going to do tomorrow and going back and forth with perhaps going to the zoo, and Grover and Oscar going through the alphabet with Grover choosing all positive words (eg. c is for cute) and Oscar choosing all negatives (eg. d is for DISGUSTING!). That last one is also on youtube in a different language.

Glad within the past few years finally got to see the Fred get me a twenty, one, two, three; three monsters, and the boy and the girl and the jellybeans skits. Takes a while but eventually we get a treat that we haven't seen in decades, which is fun.

Oh and I got to hear the audio of the Bert and Maria imagining they're on a helicopter one, but still waiting for the visual again. And also hope to see the full ending in English of Ernie counts to 10 where Bert also flies into a rage like the newspaper one (this time not chasing Ernie around but bangs his head on a table four times and then charges to the camera).
 

Ziffel

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Searching on google for that David and Maria eating spaghetti skit, the only thing I could see coming up was my post about it over 12 years ago.

Here's what I said then:

"Here's a classic sketch with David and Maria I liked. They are in a restaurant and both order a bowl of spaghetti. Maria gobbles hers down real quickly. An unseen voice narrator says, "Short time." Then David starts eating his spaghetti one noodle at a time! The narrator says, "Long time." A little later with David still eating, the narrator again says, " Long time." Still later with David still eating a noodle at a time (and Maria getting very impatient), the voice says, " Oh boy long time!" Finally David eats the last noodle and Maria smiles in relief. Then David motions for the waiter to come over. But not for the check...... for another bowl of spaghetti! I forgot what Maria did exactly, but I think she may have fell right off her chair (similar to Bert's frequent falling downs after Ernie would try his patience)."

I saw this several times between 1974 and 1977. But seems to be very obscure. Perhaps one reason is because it was a human skit, whereas people remember (and seek to see again) muppet skits more. Had this skit been conducted with two muppets it might have gotten more attention ever since. Just a thought.

By the way, another David and Maria I saw regularly in the 70's but haven't seen since is where they were supposed to meet at the bridge but kept missing each other because one would be above and the other below. So at the end when their paths finally cross, David says, "From now on instead of saying, 'I'll meet you AT the bridge' it'll either be ABOVE or BELOW the bridge."

Would love to see both of these again because of nostalgia, but especially the spaghetti one because that was also quite humorous.
 
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