The New New Quote Thread

D'Snowth

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2003
Messages
40,651
Reaction score
12,811
GEORGE: I knew I shouldn't have worked out today, now I'm gonna be sweatin' all through the meeting.
JERRY: So what? You took a shower.
GEORGE: Nah, it wouldn't take. I can feel it, I'm like a human heat pump.
KRAMER: You ought to take cold showers.
GEORGE: Cold showers? They're for psychotics.
KRAMER: Well, I take 'em.
GEORGE: (Blank stare)

And, from the same episode:

ELAINE: Hey, do you know that blonde guy who's always on the exercycle at the health club?
JERRY: No, I don't think so.
ELAINE: No, you know, he's just really, really handsome, with--
JERRY: Elaine . . . I wouldn't know.
ELAINE: You can't find beauty in a man?
JERRY: No. I find them repugnent, and unappealing.
KRAMER: (Enters)
JERRY: To wit.
 

D'Snowth

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2003
Messages
40,651
Reaction score
12,811
MIKEY: (Runs up) T.J.! T.J.!
T.J.: What is it Mikey? I'm practicin' my kicks.
MIKEY: Will you walk Bonky and me to the bathroom? We gotta go potty!
T.J.: You what?!
 

MikaelaMuppet

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2013
Messages
11,015
Reaction score
3,105
[after Vince, Ashley, Gretchen, Mikey and the gang are about to leave for the school bus]

Gus: Well, Teej? There's my transport.

[to TJ]

Gus: Hey, why don't you come with? Military camp's gonna be a blast!

Captain Brad: Griswald, you maggot! Get your fanny over here, NOW!

TJ: Eh. Thanks, Gus. But, I think I'll stick it out at home this summer.

Gus: Okay. But, you don't know what you're missing.

[He runs to him]

Gus: Hi, Captain Brad.

Captain Brad: I don't like you, Griswald! I am not your friend! Do I make myself clear?

Gus: Yes, sir! Not looking for friendship, sir!

TJ: Good luck, Gus. You're gonna need it.

[Gus gets on the bus, waving goodbye to him and Captain Brad nabs him]

TJ: Man, this summer's gonna whomp.
 

Froggy Fool

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2017
Messages
3,000
Reaction score
2,002
Razor: Do you want the good tea or the bad tea?

Bill
:
What's the difference?

Razor
:
I call one good, one bad.

Bill
:
Er, I'll take the good one.

Razor
:
Excellent. Positive attitude. Will help with the horror to come.

Bill
:
What horror?

Razor
:
Mainly the tea. :smirk:
 

MikaelaMuppet

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2013
Messages
11,015
Reaction score
3,105
Miss Muriel P Finster: I'd call you a pack of wild animals, but even wild animals don't throw food. Except for monkeys. But you're not monkeys, are you? No, you're children, children who act like monkeys.
 

LittleJerry92

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2007
Messages
17,323
Reaction score
7,657
"What's the big sleep, Ren?

........

He's DEAD! DEAD, YOU IDIOT! YOU KNOW WHAT DEAD IS?! Just like we'll be if we don't get out of here!"
 

Froggy Fool

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2017
Messages
3,000
Reaction score
2,002
Doc: I don't care if the turkey said the dog was a turkey! The dog is not the turkey! The turkey's the turkey, you turkey!
 

D'Snowth

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2003
Messages
40,651
Reaction score
12,811
Since apparently today is the first day to start filing taxes, I figured this was most appropos. And it's interesting to think that even in the 70s, SANFORD AND SON had it all figured out:

FRED: I'm tired of payin' taxes. Let me ask you somethin', what do we pay the government that money for anyway?
LAMONT: What for? For defense, Pop. For security.
FRED: Defense and security? You seen the soldiers around here? We were robbed twice last year, now where were the soldiers?
LAMONT: Come on, Pop. Your tax dollars also goes to poverty pockets.
FRED: And it comes from poverty pockets, and winds up in a lot of rich ones.
 

D'Snowth

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2003
Messages
40,651
Reaction score
12,811
WILBUR: Give me a push, Orville!
ORVILLE: You got to fly it last time!
WILBUR: That wasn't a real turn!
ORVILLE: Oh forget it! If you won't take turns, then everyone can just ride the train for the next century!
IGOR: I am just saying, why is it "Frankenstein's Monster"? I do just as much work as you.
FRANKENSTEIN: I did not spend 150,000 marks and four years in medical school to share credit with a lab assistant!
JELLY: It should be jelly and peanut butter. Alphabetical order.
PEANUT BUTTER: Eh, keep a lid on it. Without me, you'd be getting moldy with that jar of borscht on the bottom shelf!
 
Top