The Muppets' Christmas Songbook

[animalrescuer]

Hello, Muppet fans. I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving this year. I've got a treat for you this holiday. I'm creating "The Muppets' Christmas Songbook", this is a collection of Christmas songs sung by an all-star cast of Muppets from "The Muppet Show", "Sesame Street", "Fraggle Rock" along with other Muppets from different specials. I'm writing out the lyrics to different Christmas songs that are classic holiday songs or from Muppet Christmas specials and they will be sung by many different Muppets the way I would imagine them singing. This will start December 1st and end on Christmas day, one song per day. If you have a different idea of which Muppets would sing what Christmas song, feel free to jump in, I'll take any and all versions in mind!

Tell me what you think and happy holidays!

 

[animalrescuer]

Here's the first song:
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
Kermit: Okay, everyone here?
Muppets: Yep. I'm here. Present. Ready.
Scooter: Everyone's here, boss.
Kermit: Wonderful. Let's get started.
Fozzie: Okay, first, let's make sure we have the right key here.
(Muppets hum, music starts)
Muppets: We wish you a merry Christmas,
we wish you a merry Christmas,
we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!
Glad tidings we bring, we've all gathered here to wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
It's Kermit and Miss Piggy and Fozzie, Gonzo and Rowlf
who wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
And Scooter and Robin and Janice, Floyd and Zoot
who wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
And Dr. Teeth and Animal! Ah ha ha ha! (Animal, sit!)
We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
And it's Bert and his buddy, Ernie, Big Bird, Prairie Dawn and Herry
who wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
It's Oscar, The Count, Grover and Me, give me Christmas cookie
and me have a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
And Gobo and Wembley and Boober, Mokey and Red
who wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
(Instrumental)
We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!
Note: Every Muppet mentioned would have said his or her name for this, it's based on the version from a Sesame Street Christmas album from 1975.

 

[animalrescuer]

The Twelve Days of Christmas
Note: Each line will be written only once since several lines are said multiple times
Kermit: On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree
Big Bird: Two turtle doves
Gonzo: Three French hens
Robin: Four calling birds
Miss Piggy: Five gold rings
Scooter: Six geese a-laying
Bert: Seven swans a-swimming
Ernie: Eight maids a-milking
Mokey: Nine ladies dancing
Wembley: Ten lords a-leaping
Boober: Eleven pipers piping
Animal: Twelve drummers drumming

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Your version of We Wish You A Merry Christmas was great.

A little hard to read through when you have Sleigh Ride stuck in your head, but great.

 

[animalrescuer]

Christmas medley:
Deck the Halls/Jingle Bells/White Christmas/Winter Wonderland
(Music starts)
Herry: Oh, my favorite carol, "Wreck the Halls"!
Kermit: No, Herry. It's "Deck the Halls"!
Deck the halls with boughs of holly
(Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
Fozzie: Tis the season to be jolly
(Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
Miss Piggy: Don we now our gay apparrel
(Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
Robin: Troll the ancient yuletide carol
(Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)
(Music changes)
Muppets: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh, hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh.
Herry: Crashing through the snow---
Fozzie: Wait a minute, Herry. Isn't it supposed to be "Dashing through the snow"?
Herry: The way I remember, it was "Crashing through the snow"
Fozzie: (Sighs) Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh.
O'er the fields we go laughing all the way. AHHHHH!
Gonzo: Bells on bobtail ring making spirits bright.
What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight.
Muppets: Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh, hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh.
(Music changes)
Scooter: I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
just like the ones I used to know.
Red: Where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow.
Muppets: I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
with every Christmas card I write.
Boober: May your days be merry and bright
Muppets: and may all your Christmases be white.
(Music changes)
Big Bird: Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'?
In the lane, snow is glistenin'.
Muppets: A beautiful slight, we're happy tonight.
Walking in a winter wonderland.
Bert: Gone away is the bluebird
Ernie: here to stay is the new bird
Muppets: He sings a love song as we go along
walking in a winter wonderland.
Wembley: In the meadow we can build a snowman
and pretend that he's a circus clown.
Gobo: We'll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman
until the other kiddies knock him down.
Muppets: When it snows, ain't it thrillin'?
Though your nose gets a chillin'
we'll frolic and play the Eskimo way
walking in a winter wonderland.

 

[animalrescuer]

I Hate Christmas
Oscar: Christmas, heh. Look at 'em, singing all those songs, decorations everywhere. It's enough to make a grouch sick.
I can't think of anything that's dumber.
To a grouch, Christmas is a bummer.
Beaming faces everywhere, happiness is in the air.
I'm telling you, it isn't fair, I hate Christmas.
People loaded with good will, giving presents, what a thrill!
That slushy nonsense makes me ill, I hate Christmas.
I'd rather have a holiday like normal grouches do.
Instead of getting presents, they take presents back from you.
Here comes Santa, girls and boys. So who needs that big, red noise?
I'll tell him where to leave his toys, I hate Christmas.
And if you want the truth, I ain't so crazy about Thanksgiving or Easter either!
Christmas carols to be sung, decorations to be hung.
Oh, yeah, well, I stick out my tongue, I hate Christmas
Christmas bells play loud and strong, hurts my ears, all that ding, dong.
Besides it goes on much too long, I hate Christmas.
I'd rather have a holiday with a lot less joy and flash,
with a lot less cheerful smiling and a lot more dirty trash.
Christmas Day is almost here, when it's over, then I cheer.
I'm glad it's only once a year, I hate Christmas.
And whoever hung that mistletoe over my trash can, I say Phooey and bah, humbug!

 

[animalrescuer]

Scrooge
Note: Other Muppets from different projects will take part in the song.
Robin: I can't believe that Oscar doesn't like Christmas.
Grover: Well, that's Oscar for you.
Scooter: He's like the Ebenezer Scrooge of grouches.
Gonzo: You know, now that you mention it, I have a sudden erge to sing that song from "The Muppet Christmas Carol". It's a Muppet thing, suddenly having a need to burst into song.
(Music starts)
Kermit: When a cold wind blows, it chills you, chills you to the bone.
Miss Piggy: But there's nothing in nature that freezes your heart like years of being alone.
The Count: It paints you with indifference like a lady paints with rouge.
Wembley: and the worst of the worst,
Red: the most hated and cursed,
Wembley: is the one that we call Scrooge.
Emmet Otter: Unkind as any
Boober: and the wrath of many
Emmet: this is Ebenezer Scrooge.
Muppets: Oh, there goes Mr. Humbug, there goes Mr. Grim.
If they gave a prize for being mean, the winner would be him.
Farm animals: Oh, Scrooge, he loves his money 'cause he thinks it gives him power.
Food: If he became a flavor, you can bet he would be sour.
Birds: There goes Mr. Skinflint, there goes Mr. Greed.
Chip and Dip: The undisputed master of the underhanded deed.
Anything Muppets: He charges folks a fortune for his dark and drafty houses.
Monsters: Us poor folk live in misery,
Mouse: It's even worse for mouses.
Carolers: He must be so lonely, he must be so sad.
He goes to extremes to convince us he's bad.
He's really a victim of fear and of pride.
Look close and there must be a sweet man inside. Nah!
Muppets: There goes Mr. Outrage, there goes Mr. Sneer.
Bean Bunny: He has no time for friends or fun,
Lugsy: his anger makes that clear.
Buster and Fred the Wonder Horse: Don't ask him for a favor 'cause his nastiness increases.
Forgetful Jones: No crust of bread for those in need,
Mice: no cheeses for us "meeces"
Muppets: There goes Mr. Heartless, there goes Mr. Cruel.
Emmet and Wendell: He never gives, he only takes, he lets his hunger rule.
Red and Mokey: If being mean's the way of life, you practice and rehearse.
Gunge: And all that work is paying off
with Philo: 'cause Scrooge is getting worse.
Muppets: Every day in every way, Scrooge is getting worse!

 

[animalrescuer]

Sorry I missed a day, I had to finish an exam for one of my classes. Anyway, let's get back on track with
Delivering Christmas
Kermit: Oh, boy. Look at all this stuff we're going to donate to others in need!
Robin: Yeah, toys, canned food, clothes, everything people need this holiday!
Rowlf: Don't forget the stuff for the animals at the shelter, pet food, treats, toys, bedding, anything an animal, certainly a dog, could want!
(Wembley and Boober grunting)
Wembley: Here's all the stuff we have to donate.
Boober: Everything to support a worthy cause.
Scooter: Nice job, guys. Whoever's going to get all this stuff is sure going to be happy.
Wembley: Yeah. You know, sometimes, it seems the holidays go by so fast.
Boober: Yes, but the good thing is, if time passes by so fast, Christmas comes faster. It's the best time of the year.
Wembley: Well, when you put it like that...
You blink twice and the year's gone by.
I started thinking, "There's gotta be a reason"
Why would time want to learn to fly?
Gets you quicker to your favorite season.
Kermit: Starting 'round Thanksgiving, count the ways we're blessed.
Miss Piggy: Suddenly, the world's out shopping, it brings out our best.
Robin: Hey, here comes everybody else with their donations!
Scooter: And there's the truck collecting the donations!
Ernie: Hey, give it up for the folks in grey.
Bert: Some applause for the Postal Service.
Big Bird: Touch enough for the Christmas rush,
always cheerful in the ways they serve us.
Scooter: Snow nor sleet nor frozen feet will cause this gang to fail.
Anything Muppet postman: Our goal is pure, we're making sure that everyone gets their mail.
Muppets: Ooh, we're delivering Christmas. Ooh, we're delivering dreams.
Ooh, we're delivering Christmas. Ooh, we're delivering dreams.
Elmo: Pick it up, gotta beat the clock.
Cotterpin Doozer: Pick it up 'cause the pressure's on us.
Philo: Letters flying around the world,
Gunge: Little ones are depending on us.
Emmet: Christmas is approaching fast,
Charlie: we all have parts to play
Wendell and Harvey: in making sure that you wake up to that perfect Christmas Day.
Muppets: Ooh, we're delivering Christmas. Ooh, we're delivering dreams.
Ooh, we're delivering Christmas. Ooh, we're delivering dreams.
It's that time of year again when Christmas joy ignites the hopes and dreams of every girl and boy.
We made the world a promise, there's nothing we won't do.
We're here to make your Christmas dreams come true!
Anything Muppet Postman: Thank you, everyone! I'll make sure that these lucky people and animals get your donations as soon as possible.
Merry Christmas!
Muppets: Merry Christmas!

 

[animalrescuer]

Pass it on
Wembley: You know, the best thing about the holidays is that whenever you give something away to someone else who needs it, it makes you feel good.
Gobo: That's what Christmas is all about, Wembley. It's better to give than to receive.
Wembley: Yeah.
(Music starts)
Both: La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la, la-la...Pass it On!
When it's nice and bright and it brings delight, let your heart choose right , gotta...pass it on!
When it feels real good like a feeling should, then it's understood, gotta...pass it on!
Red: When you're giving love away, love will come again to stay and what you give is what you gain when you...pass it on!
Mokey: When I give a gift to you, I know you're gonna give it, too.
That's why giving's what we do as we...pass it on!
Muppets: Pass it on! Pass it on!
Wish upon all the good things that you do.
Pass it on! Pass it on!
When it's gone, it will bring good luck to you,
When you're giving love away, love will come again to stay.
What you give is what you gain when you...pass it on!
When I give a gift to you, I know you're gonna give it, too.
That's why giving's what we do as we...pass it on!
Pass it on!

 

[animalrescuer]

It Feels Like Christmas
Kermit: It's in the singing of a street corner choir,
it's going home and getting warm by the fire.
Robin: It's true wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas.
Fozzie: A cup of kindness that we share with another
A sweet reunion with a friend or a brother.
Gonzo: In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.
Kermit: It is the season of the heart, a special time of caring the ways of love make clear.
Robin: It is the season of the spirit, the message if we hear it, is make it last all year.
Emmet: It's in the giving of a gift to another, a pair of mittens that were made by your mother.
Emmet and Ma Otter: It's all the ways that we show love that feel like Christmas.
Marjory the Trash Heap,
Philo and Gunge: A part of childhood we'll always remember, it is the summer of the soul in December.
Ernie and Bert: Yes, when you do your best for love, it feels like Christmas.
Kermit and Robin: It is the season of the heart, a special time of caring the ways of love make clear.
Muppets: It is the season of the spirit, the message if we hear it, is make it last all year.
Kermit and Robin: It's in the singing of a street corner choir,
it's going home and getting warm by the fire.
It's true wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas.
Kermit: It's true wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas.
Robin: It feels like Christmas.
Kermit and Robin: It feels like Christmas
Muppets: It feels like Christmas.