Slackbot's text sketchbook

[Slackbot]

I writed a thing about Scooter. This one is 100% Fraggle-free.

*****

The Prince​

by Kim McFarland​

*****

"Entrepreneurs are simply those who understand that there is little difference between obstacle and opportunity and are able to turn both to their advantage."

-- The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli

*****

It was late in the evening when a teenage boy riding a bicycle coasted to a stop in front of the gate to a mansion. One foot on the ground, he pressed a button at the side. A buzzer sounded, and the gate slid open. He pedaled in.

*

The door creaked open. It was a big, heavy, solid wood door, and had been with the house so long that it has earned the right to creak. The boy walked in, a duffel bag over one shoulder, and shut the door behind himself. "I'm back," he said to nobody in particular.

"'Bout time," said a girl as she walked into the hall. She was wearing her usual evening wear: cutoffs, a tee shirt, and a bandana to hold back her unruly red hair.

"Hi, sis. What's up?"

"Unc was wondering where you were."

He shrugged. She shrugged back. They both knew that their uncle knew exactly where he had been: at the Muppet Theater. He asked, "Good meet today?"

"Yeah! Whupped 'em at the track," she said with a grin.

"Attagirl," he said, and punched her shoulder lightly. He was always careful not to hit her hard. Not because he was worried he'd hurt her, but because she'd hit back harder.

"And, check this out," she said, reaching into her back pocket. She took out a card and held it up proudly. It was a driver's license.

"Hey, finally," he said with. "Fourth time's a charm, huh?"

"Ha ha," she said, pocketing the license again. "At least I'm not still puttering around on a dinky bike."

He shrugged, feeling no need to answer. He'd get a license soon enough; he just wasn't in a huge rush like Skeeter was. "Got some homework to do. Later."

"I thought you did that stuff at the theater."

"Not lately. It's too busy." He used to do his homework there, or take naps, or just hang around, knowing that, no matter what he did, they couldn't fire him because his uncle owned the theater. But before long he started getting interested in the show, and began pitching in for real. Now he was an actual member of the team. It was kinda neat.

"I'm gonna go for a spin. Wanna come? I'll give you a turn."

"Thanks, maybe next time," he said, tilting his duffel bag at her. "Gotta get on this."

She watched him walk down the hall, then put her fists on her hips, shook her head, and said "Nerd."

*

Scooter walked past the study, which smelled of cigar smoke. A raspy voice called, "Scooter."

He turned back, duffel bag still on his shoulder, and entered the study. "Hi, Uncle J.P."

"Where've you been? It's late."

"At the theater. There was a lot of cleanup after tonight's show."

J.P. put his cigar down in a tray. "You don't have to mop up after them."

Scooter shrugged, knowing that annoyed his uncle. "It's not that bad."

"You're wasting your time there. That show won't last much longer."

"I don't know. They've got some really good guest stars booked."

"Yeah, but they'll be out a theater. I'm gonna turn it into a parking lot."

Scooter startled. "Why?"

"That place is a money sink. I can make more charging hourly parking than I make off the rent the Muppets pay. Don't worry, I'll get you another job."

Scooter thought about it for a minute. Then he said, "You're right. That theater is a mess."

"That's right."

"It's probably completely worthless. Even a liability."

"Yep."

"In fact, I bet the best thing you could do with it is use it as a tax write-off."

J.P. picked up his cigar again. "What?"

Scooter explained, "If you unload it by giving it to some charity, you get a tax break, and it's no longer your problem if something goes wrong on the property. The savings on insurance alone is worth it."

"What charity would take that rotting hulk?" J.P. demanded.

Scooter paused, looking upward as if deep in thought. Then he said in offhandedly, "The Muppets."

"The Muppets? Since when are they a charity?"

"Have you seen their ledger? They're definitely a nonprofit organization."

"That's for sure."

"And, let's face it, who'd buy that theater? Let the Muppets have the headaches."

"I'll think about it," J.P. told Scooter.

"Thanks!" Scooter shouldered his duffel bag again and left.

J.P. took several puffs on his cigar. Then he began to chuckle under his breath. Since he had 'inherited' the twins from his sister he had been trying to shape one as his protégé, having no children of his own. At first he had thought it would be Skeeter; she had the backbone for it. But, no, nothing could interest her in the world of business, even though it was more competitive than any of her sports could ever be. Scooter, on the other hand, was happy just to goof around and get underfoot. He had gotten Scooter a job at the theater just to get him out of the house over the summer. He'd never expected the slacker to become attached to that motley crew, and he was startled to find that Scooter had the nerve to try to manipulate him into giving them the theater.

The boy was developing a Machiavellian streak. J.P. approved heartily. Fine, he'd postpone knocking the theater down as long as Scooter was working there. From everything he'd seen, the theater would fall in on its own before too long, if the show didn't go out of business first. Either way, Scooter would see close-up how not to run a business. Until then he could have his hobby.

******

All characters are copyright © The Muppets Studio, LLC and are used without permission but with much respect and affection. The overall story is copyright © Kim McFarland (negaduck9@aol.com). Permission is given by the author to copy it for personal use only.

 

[The Count]

Nice to see the Grosse family... Skeeter getting her license on the fourth try will probably hit home with some other readers. And there's Scooter's lovable charm attempting to manipulate his uncle with some reverse thinking.

Good stuff.

 

[Slackbot]

Thanks. Scooter seemed pretty self-centered and manipulative when we first saw him; I'm guessing that was his uncle's influence. As time went on he became a team player, but I think he's still a bit manipulative. He just hides it behind that cute, puppyish attitude of his, and uses it to help keep the show running. Mostly.

 

[We Got Us]

Oh...!!! I like it!!! Would you believe I had something very similar (but not as good) written up already? I can't wait for more! You made me very happy ;-)

 

[Slackbot]

Glad to have brightened your day! And I'm not surprised someone else had a similar idea. We're all drinking out of the same well.

 

[We Got Us]

Glad to have brightened your day! And I'm not surprised someone else had a similar idea. We're all drinking out of the same well.

Your telling me. Seriously though, well written! I hope there's more in store?

 

[Slackbot]

On that story line? I don't have anything else in mind. I just wanted to drop an idea I had--that Scooter's Machiavellian streak came from his uncle, but he has very different goals--into a story. I'm writing other fic, though. Currently drafting the second chapter of Growing Together.

 

[Slackbot]

Here's a little something made up of notions that have been floating around in my head. It's not part of my continuity; it's just an exploration of possible near futures.

*****

Future Conditional​

by Kim McFarland​

*****


Miss Piggy, wearing a silk dressing robe, searched through her closet. It was so full she had to push hard to make space between items, yet some days she felt as if she had nothing at all to wear.

Kermit, having selected his collar for the day, read a magazine while he waited for Piggy. She took her time when dressing herself and putting on her makeup, so he found ways to keep himself occupied. It was one of the many accommodations they had worked out since their marriage four years ago.

They had made plenty of little compromises to ease the change in their lifestyle. They lived in a suite, so they would each have their own space, but at Piggy's insistence the bed was in her room. She had made noises about them moving out and buying a home of their own, but she hadn't pursued it thus far. The Muppets were a family, and although the lack of privacy—not to mention a private bathroom!—exasperated her, she knew that Kermit didn't want to leave those he considered his family. It was a frog thing, she told herself, thinking of the thousands of siblings he had grown up with. But, she had to admit, if she moved away she'd miss the others too.

She selected a fetching dress, took off her robe, then stepped into the dress. After threading her arms through the sleeves she reached around to the small of her back, found the zipper, and tried to pull it up. It only went a few inches. She said, "Kermie, give me a hand here."

"Sure," he said. He put down the magazine and, holding the base of the zipper with one hand, pulled up on the tab with the other. It wouldn't go far. He said, "I think you'd better try another dress."

"I wanted to wear this one," she said in a pouting tone.

"I don't think you're going to fit into it for a while."

She nodded, affecting a sulk. She took it off again and put it back on the hanger. Then she began searching through her closet again. As she did Kermit's arms encircled her from behind. His hands rested, one on top of the other, on her stomach. He was too short to rest his chin on her shoulder, so he pressed his cheek to her back.

She laid a hand over his. Whatever irritation she had felt vanished. Lately she was having more and more trouble fitting her usual wardrobe. Her weight normally fluctuated a teeny bit, but she could usually fit into her clothes with a bit of effort. However, that hadn't been working too well lately. Her abdomen was beginning to round out, and it would only become fuller in the upcoming months.

Several minutes later she selected another outfit, a sweater and a more forgiving skirt. After inspecting herself in the mirror—dark colors were so slimming—she told Kermit, "I have a call to make."

*

Downstairs, the younger Muppets were eating breakfast before going to school. Gonzo and Camilla's daughter Billie, now in the second grade, was making short work of oatmeal, fruit, and toast. Her yellow-green baby fluff had been replaced by white feathers tipped with blue. Her beak turned down at the end, making her look somewhat hawklike. She wore a purple dress and pink sneakers.

She was sharing her breakfast with the baby sitting on Scooter's lap. Tenkei was a fuzzy pink creature with a puff of white hair and a long tail that semaphored his moods. Occasionally when Janken visited he brought this little boy, and Billie enjoyed his visits. He was too little to talk with, but he was rambunctious, cheerful, and nearly indestructible, which made him a fine playmate.

Few of the Muppets besides Scooter knew the details of Tenkei's birth. A few years back Mica, a lifelong friend of Janken's, had asked Janken to join the Midsummer Ritual with her. At first both Janken and Scooter had been torn; Janken did not want to be unfaithful to Scooter, but absolute faithfulness would mean that he would never have any descendants. After much discussion, they had decided that Janken should do what was right by Fraggle standards. Tenkei was born the following spring. Scooter had never regretted consenting to Janken's 'fling'; Jan had come right back to him, he was now Uncle Scooter, and Scooter found that he genuinely liked Mica. What Fraggles said was true: what you give is what you gain.

Opposite them, a thin, gangly frog munched toast spread with something that would not appeal to those not of the amphibious persuasion. He was at a clumsy stage, not having gotten used to the long legs he had recently acquired. Robin was a late bloomer—a very late bloomer—and he was overjoyed at the novelty of actually being able to see over things, even if he was banging his shins a lot these days. Rounding out the gang at the table were Rowlf, Fozzie, Gonzo, Camilla, and Janken.

Miss Piggy, escorted by Kermit came down the stairs. She was wearing comfortable shoes, which in her case was only medium heels. "Good morning, ma famille!" she sang.

Various Muppets greeted her in various ways. She was unusually cheerful this morning. She laid a gloved hand on Scooter's shoulder and said, "Moi has had Bernie contact all the top fashion designers. I expect to receive calls from many of them. If any of them call the house, I want you to put them right through to me."

"Wouldn't they call you directly?" Scooter asked, nonplussed. Miss Piggy had her own phone line.

"They should, but you can never tell." She laughed, then went into the kitchen. Scooter looked questioningly at Kermit. The Frog, wearing a silly grin, shrugged and followed his wife.

"Wonder what that was all about?" Fozzie murmured.

"We'll find out soon enough," Scooter predicted.

*

When Miss Piggy came back to the table she brought an ample breakfast, with some of everything that was available. Nobody commented. Miss Piggy was known to be a healthy eater. Pigs were not meant to be skinny. Miss Piggy wished that Floyd was there; he would have been sure to make a fat joke. His tactlessness was utterly reliable. As aggravating as that normally was, today it would have been a perfect conversation starter. So instead she told Scooter, "Moi will be needing a new wardrobe very soon, so I have offered to let the best of the best design one for me."

Scooter knew his line. "What for, Miss Piggy?"

"Moi happens to be eating for two," she said sweetly.

Gonzo's eyes widened. "Piggy, you and Kermit are having a baby?"

"Yes. Married people do that sometimes, as you know," she said with a smile.

"Wow, congratulations!" Rowlf said heartily. The other Muppets at the table agreed.

"Thank you. That is why I have contacted the world's greatest designers. The heck I'm gonna hide inside some frumpy tent. Moi will show the world the glory of motherhood!"

When she had rehearsed that line in her head it had sounded impressively dramatic. It hadn't provoked laughter. She glared around the table. The chuckles stopped, but they were still grinning. Good enough.

Robin said, "Wow, you're going to be a father, Uncle Kermit!"

Kermit chuckled. "And you're going to be a cousin."

"I'm already a cousin a couple thousand times over," the adolescent frog said.

Kermit smiled and nodded. He was letting Piggy have the spotlight. She had insisted on keeping this a secret until the right moment, and he was glad that it could finally be known.

Scooter glanced at his watch. "Five minutes 'til the school bus comes."

Robin and Billie made a show of finishing their breakfasts as fast as they could. It seemed that every time they made a bigger production of it. Sometimes the table had to be squeegeed afterward. They stopped just before five minutes was up and dashed for the door with their bookbags in hand. They had excellent timing; cutting it fine enough meant not having to clean up after yourself.

Tenkei whined, dismayed the sudden disappearance of his playmate. Janken took him from Scooter and cuddled him, offering some granola. Sorrow forgotten, the little Fraggle began munching contentedly on the treat.

Miss Piggy said, "I expect to see some designs in by the end of the week. You all may look at them, but they must be kept secret until I model them properly. Understand?"

The other Muppets nodded. She caught Scooter's eye, and he knew what she was thinking: don't you dare leak them on the Internet until I tell you to. Then post like gangbusters. Piggy had people for official publicity, but you couldn't beat the word-of-mouth power of fansites. He nodded understanding.

Miss Piggy excused herself and went back upstairs, making up headlines and article titles in her head.

******

All characters except Janken, Billie, and Tenkei are copyright © The Muppets Studio, LLC. All copyrighted characters and people are used without permission but with much respect and affection. Janken, Billie, and Tenkei are copyright © Kim McFarland (negaduck9@aol.com), as is the overall story. Permission is given by the author to copy it for personal use only.

 

[The Count]

That was a fun update. Billie's beak curving down giving her a hawklike appearance, that's to be expected, she is Gonzo's daughter. Glad to see Robin growing up in another fic. The addition of Tenkei is interesting... Though I know he'll have to face at some point the fact someone will yell: "Tenkei, Tenkei, Tenkei!" and he'll have to answer with "You're welcome.", blaming and for that joke.

Good stuff, thanks for sharing.

 

[Scooterfan5]

Wow that was great!